I think saying “I accept all of LBFH’s manifestations” counts as conscious guidance.
The manifestations have been better than how they usually were.
I’m usually holding back so I can focus on other things.
But now I’m allowing everything from LBFH so I can heal from DRR2’s healing.
DRR2 7m30s LBFH 1m
The recon from DRR2 is not as bad anymore.
Playing it twice a month is working.
Update 1:
Almost a full day after listening to DRR2.
There is a bit of anxiety from the recon, but nowhere near as bad as the last time.
–
I discovered sitting qigong.
It works better to settle my mind before meditation than the normal standing ones.
Sitting qigong, then EFT, then meditation, then EFT again, then standing qigong to wake up my body.
Qigong makes my body feel better.
I’m an active person and my workout isn’t lacking either.
But qigong somehow enhances it even more.
Even though I have no structure, only following qigong videos on youtube randomly for 10-20 minutes every morning & evening, and 5 minutes every hour when I’m home, I’m still getting the benefits.
This is similar to my schedule with sword training back then when I was using HeO.
And yet I feel better doing qigong in comparison.
Lately when doing qigong, I’ve been getting a similar feeling that I got from the energy meditation I learned years ago. I was unsure of labeling the feeling as “energy” when I was doing the meditation—it could be anything, after all. But after getting similar subtle sensations with qigong, I’m starting to put two and two together: this feeling might be “energy”, or it might lead me to realize how energy/qi feels.
I’ll continue to observe.
The new genesis sub looks interesting.
It looks like a sub that will surprise me with its effects.
But i will only consider using it if it has 1 feature:
Sharing the results with others just like LBFH.
Because i’m already happy & fulfilled with my life as is.
Using a sub like that only for my own gains seems overkill, especially since I don’t have any grander goal for my happiness that shadows the other goals i’m pursuing.
That’s why i don’t even consider using the Elixir.
It’s only worth it if i can share the happiness & joy with the people around me.
LBFH 1m15s LE 1m AC 6s
DRR is the key to unlocking LBFH’s full capability.
LBFH also helps smoothen DRR2’s roughness.
They combine well with each other.
I have 3 subs that I want to use now, the stack is getting hard to manage.
DRR to heal.
LBFH to sooth.
LE to keep up the productivity.
Now I’m only using DRR2 2-3 times a month, but later I’ll have to choose what to keep and what to stop.
I don’t like the normal 3 subs arrangement, It makes me feel like there is too much going on in my head.
So I can only choose 2 of the three. I’ll either stop LBFH or make an LE + LBFH custom.
I’ll take a look at it again in half a year.
After seeing the results of the healing slowly showing themselves to me, I’m convinced that healing is the most logical investment with subs that I can make right now.
I have 2 goals that I want subs to help me: more productivity & more creativity.
For the other goals, I either already have enough or I don’t need subs’s help.
Since I already decided to push the creativity goal to 2026, my goal is only productivity.
This laser focus on productivity gives me more flexibility.
What’s better than healing to fill the spot?
Healing subs require a productivity sub to be viable for someone who can’t spend time in recon.
And this is the only time I’ll be as focused on my productivity before other goals creep into my stack.
It’s either now or never.
I also need a good foundation for the other subs I’ll use in the future.
Seeing how LBFH’s potential got unleashed after I used DRR, it only makes sense to solidify DRR first.
Healing now is better than later.
I might have accidentally picked the perfect stack for my needs.
I discovered a recon from LBFH.
It’s so subtle that i didn’t realize it when i was actively using LBFH back then.
The recon makes me crave connection & validation.
It’s so subtle that I wouldn’t have found it if i didn’t take half a year break from it.
The contrast is useful to show me the different states.
A few months after i stopped LBFH, I started to consider using EB. The craving was gone.
I didn’t get the same craving without LBFH in the stack.
Well, now that i’m aware of it, i can be mindful & just observe.
I have also healed enough from DRR2’s recon.
I have been letting myself loose for the past 2 weeks.
I’ll start erecting the restrictions & focusing on productivity again.
If you hold a posture that signals you’re on top of the world for a few minutes, your mind will adjust and make you feel just like that. It’s a well known psychological hack.
Qigong feels similar.
Energy or not, it’s scientifically proven that opening up your body is beneficial for your state of mind.
The more I stick with qigong, the more it makes sense.
A lot of the benefits line up with what I know about working out, human body, meditation etc.
It makes so much sense to do. I was too prejudiced & ignorant to dismiss qigong back then.
I’m naturally a skeptical person, but learning, practising, and forcing myself to be open minded all of these years have served me well.
This experience with qigong taught me that there are still layers of closed mindedness that I’m still unaware of. I need to be more proactive for my own good.
LBFH 1m30s LE 1m15s
This is the last day before the 4 day rest.
11 on 4 off works well.
Let’s see how 13 on 4 off goes.
I’ve been experiencing waves of regrets.
Now that DRR2 has cleared the way for LBFH, I’m starting to regret the relations that I couldn’t appreciate.
I couldn’t see past my own pain, blockages, pride, unawareness etc.
I usually don’t pay much attention to it.
But lately, i’m slowly starting to decide to explore it.
And there i realized, after the path was opened by DRR2 & guided by LBFH, that there are other perspectives i was too blind to even consider.
No, i wasn’t capable back then. Nothing dug this deep into me like DRR2.
I’m glad i get to see this perspective.
I’m glad i can feel this regret.
I’m glad i’m not too late.
It feels bad, but I won’t say that this is a recon.
This is a result, a big and a strong one at that.
This made me think about what happened with WB.
I thought that the “loss” & lethargy recon are related to how WB is too far from my goals.
It worked well after I went through the intense recon from the first cycle, but I had to refuse the opportunities & the paths shown by it constantly. I have other goals that I want to focus on after all.
But what if the recon is not related to my conflicting goals with WB’s manifestations?
What if it’s something deeper inside?
I have been flirting with the idea of microlooping WB to find out why. But I always backed out, fearing it would distract me too much from my goals.
What if there is something to gain after I find out why?
Adding WB to the stack after I’m done with LBFH makes sense.
DRR to help dig out the reason for the recon & LE to keep the lethargy away.
There is no better time than now, sub-wise.
But the stack will be horribly kitchen sunk & completely diverged from my goals.
Is it worth adding WB for healing?
I’m against it, but the idea keeps coming back again. maybe there’s something to it.
I’ll visit the idea again when I see a good opening for experimentation in my life.
The BL in LE works like the cognitive enhancement in HeO.
I feel more compelled to learn.
Easier meditation.
Getting more hands on with facing harder intellectual problems.
Voicing & journaling my thoughts more.
Etc.
I think i’m getting recon too from LE, like thinking “i’m getting old, my memory is deteriorating” and sometimes i do see myself forgetting simple everyday stuff.
But i just don’t care.
I’m sure there are more effects that I haven’t noticed, but my focus isn’t there.
I’m more focused on the creativity scripting, the problem is that LE doesn’t really give me much. So i only focus on the productivity boost.
But since i’m going to stick with LE for more than a year anyway, i should look more earnestly into the BL part. At least until LE gets updated next spring.
I was using HeO for 12 cycles, around 10-11 months. I’m sure such a long exposure to cognitive enhancement scripting has diluted my initial perception of the BL part in LE.
If i didn’t run HeO, LE’s cognitive enhancement effects should have felt much more prominent.
And honestly, my judgement must have been clouded by my disappointment for the creativity scripting. It’s just not fair to compare it with RM titles.
The BL part works decently, and i’ll find a way to integrate it with my everyday life.
I could take 7m30s of DRR2 just fine with minimal recon a week ago.
I’ll try 15m a week from now.
This is a page from my “open minded journal”.
I decided to write it here since this is something I found here.
Modified & rewritten from scratch so I don’t give any personal information.
I’ve been thinking about the thread about showing vulnerability to your SO.
I was perplexed by why people went so far as saying you should never do that.
How can that relationship be sustainable?
How can you see your “the one” as a potential enemy that much?
I have so many questions.
But then I tried to dig deep into myself. I asked why do I have this belief.
What’s different from my view of the world compared to how others view it?
I start asking about my own beliefs as skeptically as possible.
And then it slowly comes to me.
My personality is different.
The way I carry myself allows me to do what I do.
What works for me won’t work for others.
My values & priorities are different.
My works trump all. Whatever happens in my personal life, I can get over it more easily since I have things that I hold more than myself, more than the works themselves.
But that doesn’t mean my view of the world is the best, I’m a workaholic fuck. It’s simply what I lovingly choose to do. What works for me won’t work for others.
If others value relations or self preservation higher than me, then my approach shouldn’t be copied.
A race car and a tank have different purposes.
My mental tolerance is different.
Some people are more resilient in one aspect, but also weak in others.
I have many things that I’m not as resilient to. If I had to work in a nursing home, I would break within a month. I don’t have the mental resilience to do that line of work.
But it just so happens that I’m more resilient towards these closer personal problems about showing vulnerability.
My life experience is different.
Too many variables to count.
The experiences that tempered me to be who I am today are different from what others went through.
This have a direct relation to the effectiveness of one method compared to the other.
People have their strong & weak points.
They will find what works for them best.
While showing vulnerability to my SO is the best course for my long term goals, it might not be the best for other people. Just like how furiously hiding my vulnerabilities won’t work for me in the long run.
As always, it’s about finding the balance.
It’s rash to advise someone to be more vulnerable.
It’s also immature to tell people to hide everything.
Everyone is different. Every relationship is different.
One gotta find what’s the best ratio for themselves.
I really need to start reigning back LBFH’s effects.
It’s too strong. Even with microloops.
I love the effects but it’s starting to eat onto my productivity again. LE alone isn’t enough.
This is the same problem I had the first time i joined the forum. LBFH’s manifestations are too strong.
But i also need LBFH to balance DRR2.
This is getting hard to manage.
Maybe the new free genesis sub will be better for balancing DRR2.
Happiness & joy should come with fulfilment afterall. That’s the only thing i need to balance the stack.
But i’ll be introducing another variable if i decide to include another sub.
It’s risky but it might be the way.
This is why i don’t do well with subs that deviate too much from my goals. They work so well that i have to constantly use conscious guidance to stay in the path that i want to be in, which gets tiring after a while.
But what if the update to LE next spring is enough to balance LBFH?
Too many uncertain paths to go by.
Fuck it. If the copy convinces me, I’ll use the new sub.
I’ll give it 6 months. If it works well with the stack, I’ll extend it. If not, I’ll go back to LBFH until i can reconcile with DRR2.
This will push back the schedule for the customs again to mid 2026 - early 2027. But it’s better to take my time building a good foundation than rushing for no reason. I’m here for the long run.
The new genesis title is coming tomorrow.
That’s quicker than i expected.
I need to think this through before i switch LBFH for it.
Do i need more happiness in my life?
What else can the title do?
Is it worth introducing a new variable into the stack?
It looks like a more straightforward sub to alleviate DRR2’s recon than LBFH.
But that means it’s another sub to commit to.
I can get away with running LBFH for less than half a year, I’ve used it for almost a year.
But a new sub requires more than that to make the changes stick longer.
Is it worth stack switching?
Do I strengthen & dive deeper into LBFH’s effects at the cost of my productivity, or do i take the gamble with the new sub and spend 6-9 months integrating with it so the effects will stay?
I wished DRR2 was smooth so I didn’t have to compensate with a third sub in the stack to balance it. But I gotta do what needs to be done.
I think it’s gonna be interesting because it seems to be stronger tech than the current ZP… some sort of “unfolding” of happiness - but unfolding hasn’t been worked on since Pre-NSE
I’m interested in it as well.
What saint said about the happiness & joy from within and how it will infuse whatever we do looks like the best sub for me to balance DRR2. It sounds like it directly tackles fulfilment in what I do in a more focused way than LBFH.
It also has NSE, unlike HeO. I would have used HeO if there’s another NSE sub in my stack, it’s more straightforward & tested. LE + HeO would be awesome but they have no NSE whatsoever.
I can’t wait to see what else AHJ will have.
I remembered I started LBFH just 1 month ago.
Damn I’m switching subs like hot potato. Well at least I resisted ME & AS back then.
It’s harder without RM:UWX.
But I can do this.
I don’t need to add another variable into the stack.
I’m enough.
I just need to stick earnestly with healing & productivity in 2025.
Then i’ll be able to enjoy the creativity stack in 2026.
Maybe i’m just being lazy and searching for a shortcut.
I know i’m not lacking in this, i just need to broaden my horizon.
It’s time to research & experiment.