You described what i experienced very accurately. That was exactly how i felt.
I didn’t expect that with emperor, i might consider adding it into my stack in the far future.
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In my experience with emperor, I’m more inclined to set up clear boundaries. My fiancee and I moved in with my family for some reasons and at first it was like before I moved out 13 years ago. I fell back in this childlike obedience. On empire, it became natural not to be obedient anymore, to take my stance in a calm manner.
As well as with my fiancee. Where in the past, I was inclined to cater to her needs and forget my own. Now it’s much more balanced and I can communicate my needs much more clearly even at the cost of her approval.
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That sounds like my experience with Mogul too
It’s not as strong, but the effect is there. I like the effect a lot.
I’m more inclined to consider using emperor too one day.
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I don’t have to feel 100% good to enjoy the moment. There can be pain, bad feelings etc happening at the same time. It doesn’t have to be pure.
I have been unknowingly forcing my body to feel a certain way based on my flawed ideals.
All i need to do is observe.
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I have confirmed that there’s no reason to not use HeO for 15m, at least for me. No recon & the effects hit better.
Was i being too cautious with increasing the listening duration before? My intuition had been nudging me to run it for 15m, but I didn’t listen.
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If you dial it up slowly over time, and notice that you’re not getting hit too hard with reconciliation and are getting good results - note, you have to be objective with this and be able to recognize it as it can be subtle at times - then sure, you can increase your exposure, nothing wrong with that.
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That’s reassuring.
I’ll monitor the recon too and make sure it’s not too much, if any. since like you said, it can be subtle and i did miss some of the cues in the past
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After a bit of introspection, This realization was certainly because of HeO. But i think it only appears when i run it for 15m, i had something similar happening too when i ran HeO for that long around a month ago.
learning about vipassana also plays a big part in it. HeO brings a deeper level of understanding based on that.
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As i look deeper into how i respond to emotions, 1 thing stands out:
I tend to latch onto a feeling in the hope of making it go away, which ironically only makes it stick even more.
Emotions come and go, if i want to be able to control my emotions better, i should let go of the desire to control.
Once i became aware of it, i notice that my mind is actually really good at letting go of emotions, all i have to do is not latch onto it, don’t try to “solve” it. just observe.
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On a book on orthodox Christian meditation I once read the advice to watch feelings like you would watch a sailing ship on a river.
You see it coming, see it right in front of you, big and bold, and you see it vanishing on the horizon.
As you said, just observe. No assessment, no judgement. See the color of the sails, the number of sailors on deck, how deep the keel is in the water. But don’t judge.
One of my mentors always says, that if you notice an unpleasant feeling, just think “Interesting” and observe. Helped quite a lot.
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That’s a really good analogy to explain the process. It’s really spot on with how it seems when i observe my feelings.
I’ll bookmark it 
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Putting observation into practice is quite challenging.
Sometimes i don’t know the right approach or what’s considered an observation.
But i believe I can find the ways even if it’s done slowly and sluggishly. Keep an open mind and let go.
On another note, i may add Mogul to my stack. HeO alone makes me really productive, but I miss mogul’s unique focus on productivity.
HeO’s productivity is more spread out, with a lot more emphasis on learning for mastery.
Mogul’s is more straight forward. “just do it every day for hours on end” kind of productivity.
Well, that’s one reason, but truthfully speaking, reading others testimonies on LE & Exec makes me want to experience it too. Mogul gives me exactly that.
And to be even more honest, i want to try the NWE on Mogul too, lol.
Solo-ing HeO for 15m feels lighter than i expected. There’s no reason not to add another sub on top of it. Ultimately, I’ll listen to my intuition.
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HeO strengthens my intuition a lot.
It feels like i just know what to do and what not.
I need to train myself to listen to it more.
It’s so strong that there’s never a reason not to.
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i don’t know which sub(s) caused this,
i’m now not as picky anymore about music.
i can enjoy almost any music that i listen to, even the ones that i really didn’t like in the past.
whichever sub did this, i love it. my suspicion is on LBFH and DRLD.
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I’m also suspicious about this but it’s an experiment and I’m looking forward to hearing how it goes! HeO and WB have such different goals it’s difficult to reconcile them. Most people don’t report recon on WB so I’m really curious why it was that you got so much. Maybe the HeO / WB interplay?
Have you tried running stark? The language scripting on stark is off the charts and it applies to business as well as personal relationships. I tried a loop after the forum debate, but a lot of my friends IRL run stark and I see it all the time. Seems like it might be more aligned with your goals - and it’s a feel great sub too.
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Did you ever notice nice guy symptoms? Or were you ever attracted to one of your close female friends?
Most of my life it was the same for me. I was a picture book Mr. Nice Guy. Best friend to tons of females. But not a chance to be considered as more, even if I came to be the last male on earth.
I’m not projecting this on you, my friend. That’s only what I experienced and remebered about my history when I read this paragraph.
And it would explain the recon feom WB
But it could also be a clash of objectives feom HeO and WB. Being the morally superior samurai who gathers one or two harems just by being present doesn’t sound to congruent.
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With my personal history of development, I realized that I used to tell me stories about why I act like I act, why I do what I do. Explaining my challenges away. Yeah, for others this behavior wouldn’t be advisable, but with my circumstances and my attitude it’s totally OK.
When later, after healing, I realized that I sold myself a real bullshit story so I wouldn’t need to change.
And again, I don’t want to project anything on you. Just a little hint on how clever our subconsciousness is working.
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Hmm… let me reflect on that.
I do this, and i do it even more after i started journaling for subs here.
I’ll read my journal again to find clues.
As in making excuses to not confront my challenges? Interesting. I’ll reflect on this.
I think a part of it was revealed when i used LBFH. I used to think that being attached to other people is bad, which it can be. But LBFH taught me that healthy attachments can help & boost my growth. So that was 1 bullshit story melted away. It was my blind spot.
I need to reflect a lot on this. What other blind spots that i have and such.
Yeah, don’t worry about it, i don’t mind it at all. I think they are pretty useful.
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This is the best explanation I’ve read about the foundation of taking action with subs.
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I decided to keep WB in my stack until I get no recon anymore from it, no matter if it takes a month or a year. I’m sure there’s something to be gained by reconciling and making peace with it.
i plan the schedule to be like this:
1 HeO 30s Mogul 30s. microloop every time i start a new cycle. right before i sleep.
2 Rest
3 WB AC
4 Rest
5 HeO Mogul
6 Rest
7 HeO Mogul
8 Rest
9 WB AC
10 Rest
11 HeO Mogul
12 Rest
13 HeO Mogul
14 Rest
15 HeO 15m Mogul 15m. full loop at the end of the cycle.
16 Rest
17 WB 15m AC. right after i wake up.
18 Rest
19 Rest
20 Rest
21 Rest
I will swap Mogul to RM:UWX after 2 or 3 cycles.
I will take more rest days if my intuition tells me to do so.
HeO & WB will stay for a long time. so my stack only has 1 free slot left.
Because of that, I will stop coming to the forum until then to keep myself from sub switching.
It seems quite extreme, but I know for a fact that when the upgrade for LBFH drops, WB will be first on the chopping block to get swapped if I don’t control myself, rofl.
see you guys later!
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