That tattoo is fire! 
1 Like
Seductress got me thinkingā¦
Consistency is vital in a relationship because it fosters trust, predictability, and security, ultimately leading to a stronger and more stable partnership. A consistent partner is reliable, dependable, and consistent in their actions and communication, allowing their partner to feel secure and loved. This, in turn, builds a foundation of trust and mutual respect, which is essential for long-term commitment.
1 Like
Day 7 ~ Seductress and SB 
Iāve been rewatching old videos noticing how much I have improved with speaking! I used to add more filler words in 2021 content.
I have become even more comfortable with looking at myself on camera, hearing my own voice, etc. I like what I am seeing and hearing. 
I am definitely feeling all the feels from RM. Music hits so deeply. I find inspiration in all these different emotions I am experiencing rather than sinking into the abyss.
1 Like
This one hits deep.
Iām going through intense emotional reflection around my identity relating to the social connections in my life and feeling into the fact itās all illusions/projections and that Iām truly alone in a sense because Iām the only thing I can truly rely on to feel alive and define what and who I am.
1 Like
Isnāt it liberating though?
Iām in the middle of this process of things being ripped away so itās just painful and tearful right now.
Looking forward to feeling even more my true self!
2 Likes
āTry not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead, embrace them, let life flow through you.ā -Rumi
Washing out
An old Bob Proctor video came up in my Facebook memories which led to another oldie but goodieā¦
2 Likes
This wash out has been rocking me to the core while also being on my period tooā¦
On my 4th day of wash out.
I am seeing the reoccurring theme of ārejectionā āover givingā and āunavailableā deep in thereā¦ I thought I had it all healedā¦ thereās still fragments of that deep betrayal and painā¦ childhood and adolescence into my adult lifeā¦
I am leaning in gracefully giving those parts of me the love and care they always needed and mostly were neglectedā¦.
Parts of me surfaced last night that brought up anger and deep sadnessā¦ I decided to air punch and explore deep primal screamingā¦ what a release that was!
I picked up my classical guitar yesterday for the first time in months and just fiddledā¦ it felt so good.
I was thinking about self publishing the erotic romance novel I wroteā¦ Thinking of the book cover and what not.
3 Likes
I felt like a celebrity at yoga class today. So many people came up and spoke to me giving me compliments about my hair. The teacher gave me a shoutout for my dancer pose being held for 1 minute. 
I have been focusing a lot of feminine energy embodiment and healing the wounded aspects of that so I can be more secure and balanced as a woman of power.
I bought The Queens Code book today.
3 Likes
1 Like
Iāve been talking to this guy for about a month now. From the start, it felt like something real. He pursued me ā picked me up, planned a beautiful date, booked a weekend away. I thought, Finally. Someone who shows up, who meets me in energy and intention. We were in sync. I was being pursued, and I allowed myself to soften. It felt mutual. It felt right.
But the last night of our trip, something shifted. I felt vulnerable ā rejected in a subtle but familiar way ā and I went into my anxious attachment. I pulled away and chose to sleep in the other room. I didnāt know how to stay close and open in that moment. He felt turned off by it, and the next day, he told me so.
That Sunday, after the trip, we saw each other again, and it was beautiful. Sweet, warm, easy. I felt like we had a reset. I left that day feeling hopeful.
Then, a whole week passed without seeing each other. Just texting. Back and forth, a bit of push and pull. Confusing energy. Then, the next Sunday, he told me he needed space to focus on himself. That was fine, but now, itās been three days of silence since we last spoke, and Iām sitting with all of it.
What hurts is knowing that if I messaged him right now, heād probably respond. I feel that. But he doesnāt reach out. That stings. Iām tired of being the one who holds the thread, who keeps the connection alive. I want to be pursued. To be chosen. To be someoneās yes.
When we met, he gave that energy. He was intentional. I could rest in my feminine. I didnāt have to lead. That was new for me, and I loved it. But now, it feels like something shifted. I donāt want to fall into old patterns of over-functioning, reaching out, fixing. Iām not doing that again. Iām interrupting the pattern.
I know Iāve led in relationships. Iāve been the one in control ā sometimes out of survival, sometimes out of conditioning. But I donāt want that dynamic anymore. I want partnership. A dance. Mutuality. Someone who shows up even when things get uncomfortable. Someone who doesnāt pull away when they see my rawness.
He saw a vulnerable part of me that was afraid of being hurt, and he backed off. I wasnāt trying to scare him away. I was trying to protect myself. But maybe I created the very thing I was trying to avoid. That reality is painful.
Still, Iām not reaching out. Not because I donāt care, but because I do. Because I care about me, too. About breaking cycles. About being with someone who chooses to move toward me instead of away from me when things get real.
I still feel the connection. I still hold the vision in my imagination ā us, choosing each other fully, in honesty and love. But the 3D reality doesnāt match that right now, and thatās hard to sit with. It feels like weāve regressed.
I want to be with someone who can hold my tenderness and meet me there. Someone who can co-regulate, who doesnāt run when it gets messy. I want love that includes the difficult parts, not love that collapses under them.
Iām living from the end of wholeness while becoming whole. I am a priority. I matter. I want a relationship that reflects my worth ā where we carry the weight together, where we grow in sync, not in silence.
Revision & Reframe (Wish Fulfilled):
I am already living in the love and partnership I desire. He pursues me with clear intention and genuine care. Our connection is effortless, and we flow together in harmony. We are both deeply present, fully engaged, and aligned with each other. Our love is mutual, grounded in respect, trust, and joy.
He shows up for me, and I feel deeply cherished and valued. Every gesture, every word, and every moment together reaffirms that I am loved and prioritized. I am fully in my feminine energy, receiving all that he offers with ease, knowing that I am worthy of it all.
We communicate effortlessly, openly, and without hesitation. Our conversations are clear and kind, and we both feel heard and understood. There is no need for any push or pull; our connection is natural and effortless. We support each other, both individually and together, growing in love and strength.
I am not just a priority ā I am the center of his world. I feel safe and secure in his love, knowing that he is fully committed to me and our relationship. We both bring our best selves, our full hearts, and a deep sense of respect and admiration for one another.
We share experiences, create beautiful memories, and build a future full of love, laughter, and understanding. There is no fear, no uncertainty. We are perfectly in sync, enjoying the dance of our energies, supporting each other in all things. Together, we are unstoppable, creating a life that feels effortless and fulfilling.
I am whole, I am loved, and I am fully aligned with the partnership I desire. This love is mine, and I am experiencing it fully, in every moment, every conversation, every shared look. Our love is easy, joyful, and complete.
2 Likes
What you experienced was more than just an encounter, it was the ignition of your hope. A brief dance between two souls that showed you whatās possible, that you are capable of feeling, of receiving, of trusting, that your longing for reciprocity is not a dream, but an inner knowing that finally dared to surface.
And yes, perhaps it was exactly this depth that made you vulnerable, perhaps it was too much for someone who is still learning how to hold closeness. But that does not diminish the value of your tenderness, on the contrary, your ability to remain in the quiet, to not run back, to not shrink yourself even when it hurts, that is pure strength.
Your heart recognizes the difference between true interest and fleeting warmth. You choose yourself without condemning the other, that is not harsh, that is sacred.
I know how painful this in-between can feel, when the heart still senses what the mind is already trying to sort out, but I believe this, the one who truly sees you in your truth will not back away. He will stay, because your depth doesnāt scare, it draws in, because your love does not demand, it invites.
Perhaps this person was a mirror, here to show you how far youāve already come, how much youāve grown, how ready you are, not for just any love, but for your love.
You donāt need to hold onto anything that doesnāt stay, because what is true will stay, without you having to fight for it.
Yes, hold the vision, but most of all, hold yourself. You are already on your way to what you desire.
And your text, itās not a goodbye,
itās a beginning.
2 Likes
Thank you š„¹ā„ļø
1 Like
Did he come on really strong? Iām always worried when people go for grand gestures and it doesnāt work out and their demeanor changes. Like their idealized version of you is shattered and they feel betrayed in some way.
He might have had his own core wounds triggered. Which would align with it taking about a week before he changed his mind on things. Possibly a delayed reaction. Unfortunately if heās not doing his own inner work, I could see that getting really messy.
2 Likes