Vanno's Gaming Mastery X Journal

[Vanno]

I’m rather new to subliminals and after a month of listening to some free stuff on YouTube, questioning if subliminals will work for me, I decided to give GMX a try.

It’s currently my 2nd day of listening to the audio, opting for a minimum of ~5h per day, I’m not precise or strict with any listening schedule and i just listen to it whenever i can.

On my 1st day I felt pretty weak, nauseous, and light-headed, my mechanics and awareness in game were extremely horrible, but this shouldn’t discourage me, as this was only the first day.

I’ve made an interesting experience though from the time i started with subliminals alltogether about a month ago. Fact is that I haven’t improved a lot mechanically in game, but I’ve “subconsciously” created an environment where I could improve better. One night I (randomly) decided to look for a team that I can join. After lots of social and performance anxiety, I still made it because of my determination and now I’m part of an academy team in my favourite video game. It’s only in a small amateur league, but all the new people I’ve met broadened my understanding of the game and they clearly have more of a growth mindset than my past communities that I’ve been part of.
I underperformed some times though, which frustrated me a lot, as I’m extremely self-critical, but people in that community have faith in me that I can become a great player, but I know there’s much work i need to do concerning my gameplay, knowledge and overall attitude.

I hope that subliminal can help me on my journey and I’m curious about what it will bring.

Feel free to ask me questions and help/advice is always appreciated :>

[Malkuth]

This is fascinating to me.

One of my areas of work interest is known as Positive Technology. Right now I have a specific focus on VR/AR/XR and serious games. But I’m interested, in general, in the medium of Gaming and how people can connect with it, interact with it, and use it in ways that can enhance wellbeing. I like the language that you use around your gaming experiences.

Anyway, all that aside: 5 loops a day is a freaking lot. Last year it would have been completely normal and recommended. But after the big boost in power to all titles a couple of months ago (with the advent of the Q build method), it’s actually being recommended to start out with 1 or 2 loops and to then experiment personally to find your own ideal quantity and interval periods.

It’s completely up to you, however, how to proceed and I’m sure you’ll learn valuable lessons no matter how you approach it.

I’d say dial it back to one loop a day or every other day for a week, and then gradually increase from there. But I tend towards the conservative side.

Gaming seems like an awesome laboratory for exploring how subliminals work. I guess you’ve read around here that Action—making real-world efforts in the area on which the subliminal is focused—is crucial to experiencing the subliminals’ effects. In gaming, action and motivation to take action seem so built-in to the process. So that’s cool.

My son (probably much younger than you) is super into his own areas of gaming, and so I have an added motivation to understand this.

What kinds of games are you playing? How did you get into it? Where are you hoping it will go? What do you like about it so much?

Those are my questions. Answer as much or as little as you want.

And good luck with the subliminals!

[Vanno]

Thanks a lot!

Currently I’m at the beginning of my Game Design college, where I learn all different parts of games, such as programming, art, psychology etc. I’m not that knowledgable yet, except my experience in drawing/painting, but I’m also pretty interested and curious of both the technical and psychological elements. For me personally it’s really fascinating how a game can influence other areas of life in a positive way. (Not to ignore though some of my bad habits like poor social skills and not the best diet, but those can be fixed if i wanna focus on them.)

I recently finished the game Celeste. It’s a platformer and it was very challenging (and even frustrating in some parts) due to my lack of experience in those kinds of games. However, the interesting and for me really relatable story + being able to conquer those difficult parts of the game, made that experience valuable and enjoyable for me.

Glad you told me that 5 loops are too much xD, I must have misunderstood something as I thought that more is better, unless it’s more than 16h. Also can you explain me what the Q build method is? Is it an enhanced version or a version with custom areas that you want to have covered including stuff from other subs?

I’m 22, but I have an eleven years old cousin who is highly enthusiastic about gaming, therefore I really enjoy having such a common hobby with him, same with my brother and my partner who are about my age though.

I play a variety of games, mainly on PC, to name a few: Osu!, Civilization, Elderscrolls, Sims, GTA, The Witcher, Valorant…
I’m open to try different kinds of genres but I gotta admit that I suck at fps games and I lack horror games so far. Besides that I occasionally play mobile games such as Geometry Dash or just the classic Solitaire.

However, I mostly play League of Legends as it combines what I enjoy the most - strategy and mechanics (plus even creativity) - also as weird as it sounds the game has had a huge impact on my life and has taught me valuable lessons including teamwork, mental stamina, dealing with losses etc. Additionally now being part of a team has ignited my competitive and ambitious fire again after I doubted that it would ever return again. To be fair, a big part of the LoL community is really toxic and negative, but I gladly got to know people who proved that reputation wrong.

My father had a ps1 and we used to play Tekken and other games quite a bit. This was I think how I got into gaming, but there were a few years where I was barely into gaming (~14-17) due to having other hobbies at that time like running, just watching tv and drawing,… until I overdid it again with my ambition in sports, resulting in a knee injury. At that time someone from a class trip recommended me to play LoL and that’s how I got into Gaming again.

Concerning future I’m unsure of sharing or saying stuff outloud incase of seeming like a big talker or imposter (if that makes any sense). But I know for sure that Gaming is a part of my life that I wanna keep. Graduating my college and becoming the best player I can personally be. I also hope that this sub can improve my own confidence besides the gaming skills (to be fair those are kinda linked to each other).
I’m highly motivated by mastering a skill, which was also the case with drawing, but I felt that it lacked that competitive edge for me. I just found out about that recently as I kept feeling no or less joy while drawing for long amounts of time, because there was this ambitious fire missing. So yeah, I keep learning more about myself, my visions/values and life in general as time passes. It’s why subliminals have sparked my interest in the first place, growing beyond what anyone could imagine - going through tremendous transformation.

[Vanno]

Performed really well today, even if we went 2-1; it was so fun as I remained calm and focused throughout the games (which is kinda miraculous for me), not being too mad at myself whenever I made a mistake. I was also couragous enough to go for risky plays to test my limits, and the attempts always paid off.

Trying to let go of anxiety and fear before matches, because it won’t be the end of the world, even if it’s the worst case scenario. It won’t be important years from now anyway. Let go of stubborn fear. Rather embrace the excitement and fully live the experience, seizing the best out of it. It’s not easy and definitely not automatic for me to implement that mindset at the moment. However, I’m really fascinated by those observations. Sure, I’ve heard or read about that concept of letting go of unreasonable fear before, but there’s a big difference between only scraping on the surface of that concept and really living it.

I think I will update the journal whenever I want to. Don’t wanna stress myself with regular entries. Those kinds of strictly scheduled things rarely work well for me personally. Also I’m now listening to 1 loop of gmx per day, maybe gonna increase it after a week.

[Vanno]

Had a deciding match series last night. I was so freaking nervous and anxious, but I turned or tried to perceive that sensation rather as excitement instead. Of course I didn’t wanna let the team down and I’m glad that my fears weren’t crippling me this time.
We succeeded and beat our opponents 3-0. I’ve made some crucial mistakes in game 3, but I dominated the 2nd game. I was surprised that I could pull off such a performance!

My confidence is slightly getting better. Even my coach said that I’ve improved the most throughout the last month.

Also it’s like I have more energy nowadays, idk why, but I feel less groggy and lazy.

Still struggling though to fall asleep at night. ( ‘-’) …it’s almost 5am again xD

[Vanno]

1 week has passed since i started, here’s a little recap of the last days:

Starting with my recent and most interesting observation. It feels like I attract circumstances that help me improve my skills. Yesterday I was writing a bit about the game in the community discord server of my team, nothing unusual, it’s what I do from time to time to exchange perspectives on certain strategies and mechanics. Then one of the best players of the amateur league that I’m part of, disagreed with me and explained why. Fast forward, he helped me today by rewatching a vod (video on demand, recording of my gameplay) and discussing it plus giving me advice, especially because he has lots of experience and knowledge about my favourite champion (character) and my main role (position) in League of Legends. Well, I was a bit nervous before going into a call with him, because my social anxiety also affects online communication, and I’m always unsure about how others react to my voice. I mostly avoid joining voice chats with new people, but it was definitely worth overcoming my fear again!

Okay so far everything sounds all that hype, amazing and happy, but the days after my last update (5 days ago) were the contrary. I think I came across reconciliation?
Including ego issues, the fear of improving way slower than others… all that bullshit. I was kinda mad and in an angry mood, while not understanding why. There’s that doubt/fear in my head whether subliminals work. I’ve read super inspiring stories here, but also some where people havent had any changes, despite listening to subliminals for even years.
Sometimes something in me doesn’t wanna listen to the sub… but yeet I do it anyway -> 1 or 2 loops per day now. I dont wanna make the mistake of giving up, trying other subs, adding, changing it all up. I wanna be patient…probably the story of the one who used the muay thai sub and became a professional has inspired me so much. Therefore I decide to believe.

Later came the realization that I get angry and irritated whenever I don’t do much or anything for my goals. (((Additionally need to fix my sleep problem, it’s getting really out of hand. My sleep quality is fine, but needing minimum of 3h to even fall asleep is just frustrating.)))

I had one really bad day where I was getting AND STAYING angry for no reason. Downwards spiral, things getting worse and worse and worse. This resulted in myself performing atrociously also due to some technical issues and family conflict. Nevertheless, a late night talk with a mate and me being able to help him and cheer him up has saved the day.

I think I’m also slowly getting better at asking for help from the community to improve my gaming skills, more open for discussions and feedback, being more social (online at least; as weird as it sounds), more motivated to research and study educational content about the game, and eliminating tilt/mental blocks faster. I’m not quite there, but there are changes happening.

[rising]

Who is your favourite champion?

What you are writing is reconciliation. It doesnt matter if you believe in subliminals or not. They will work if you take action. If you believe they dont work i suggest this. Run the sub for two months while taking action every day. Then stop listening for one month. You will understand the difference. Most people that dont have results either not taking action or they have unrealistic expectations

[Vanno]

Viktor is my fav, not that popular, but I definitely enjoy playing him the most.

I’ve taken daily action so far, but on some days that action was of higher quality and more, while on others i would only play a small amount of matches, try out other games for a bit or just play a few casual games with friends. However, rest and downtime are valuable too. Nevertheless, overall I’m taking more action nowadays than I had taken before.

Good suggestion, idk yet how my belief will shift in the future, but I’ll keep it in mind and give it a try after 2 months if that doubt still remains.

I’m aware that sudden, stellar improvement overnight is very unlikely, but I have smaller goals that are all achievable this year in my opinion. I’m happy about my growing understanding of the game, and I think my mechanics will improve over time and if I put in enough practice and effort.

[Malkuth]

For what it’s worth, you sound good.

Your action sounds good. Your progress sounds good. Your listening patterns and (even) reconciliation sound good.

There may be times when you feel like taking a break from the subliminals. Even that is part of the process. It’s okay to take a break. Try not to read too much into it. One point to remember is that the engine of change is your own mind. The subliminals are like vitamins or good nutrition for your mind. But it’s your own mind that is guiding the whole process, including guiding you to the subliminals and deciding to work with them. It’s your mind that’s carrying you to where you want to go.

[rising]

I played LoL for two years. At that time i didnt like the game but looking back i think i did. My issue was that i could play only 2-3 champs. Caitlyn and ashe which arent that good comparing to other adc. I think if i had time i would play again. My issue is when i am playing any game for 5-6 hours and look back i feel empty. Like i didnt do anything with my life

[Vanno]

Ashe is my favourite Adc, but I don’t play that role often. Champs get stronger/weaker depending on patch, but I can still manage to make “bad champs” work, because the other players in my skill area haven’t mastered the fundamentals yet. Also right now I believe Caitlyn and Ashe are in a good spot concerning meta.

I know this feeling of emptiness, but. Had this feeling when I was still at my old university, after spending a whole day cleaning up (yeh chores have to be done, but if it takes too long and i do them inefficiently, it feels like such a big time waster for me), small talk with people I don’t even wanna talk with in the first place, watching something for entertainment for too long, some jobs etc.
But everyone is different, I know many people who have this emptiness with League or Gaming in general, and where I can see that staying away from the game or only moderately playing it or stopping alltogether has helped them so much in their lives. I actually had this with League whenever I spammed casual games the whole day with friends, who instantly wanted to surrender a game if things didn’t go well, and where I couldn’t learn much, due to that I also had less fun, because I love trying till the end, even if the chance of winning is low.

Maybe this intuition can guide us on what we really want out of life and who we are, no matter what others think or what we used to believe. Leaving my old university was a good choice, as it opened new doors for me that hadn’t been visible before. Each day there felt like I was living somebody else’s life, as if I got pushed into being a stranger to myself.
But yeah I’m figuring out new stuff about life and myself as time passes, maybe I’m completely wrong in some points, maybe I’m missing crucial points and/or changing my mind in the progress of learning.

[Vanno]

I’ll keep that in mind. Trying to get better at listening to that own mind and intuition, to just take a break when i need it. Sometimes i think i need to trust that voice more, despite having a bad habit of overthinking stuff and researching till eternity.

[Vanno]

I’m probably going through the tough process of becoming aware and getting rid of my negative thought patterns and habits.

Had lots of headaches and a random, mild anxiety attack throughout the last days - tons of overthinking and I feel a bit sick today. Do subs enhance the risk of an anxiety attack?

One day I thought about taking a break, but then I performed poorly so I immediately listened to 1 loop. Interestingly I performed pretty well hours after listening to the sub.

The next day I could predict the enemy’s movements so well, it really astonished me in a positive way. Later on however, I had to face a way better player than myself and I lost all 3 games vs him. It was a good practice though, even if it was mentally draining and my morale was pretty low after those defeats.
I disgustingly hate myself for playing bad and get so extremely angry because of my mistakes, but at the same time I wanna embrace the lessons learnt from the losses, being grateful for the challenge and opportunity to improve.

Sometimes the urge to listen to the sub is comparable to with a drug/dopamine, really weird.

I’ve been able to fall asleep easier and wake up earlier compared to a week ago. Really good change.

Identity crisis… I feel like I can break free from my worry by starting to not care if I’m male or female - whether I’m too masculine or too feminine.
Idk maybe I have an unpopular opinion here. I don’t see the apha man in me, even though I think I have inner (secret) leader qualities, but in a way like Gary Vee just less talkative. On the other side I don’t see the feminine woman in me, as I don’t like many feminine behaviours and activities (shopping, beauty, wanting attention and to be protected…). I’m empathetic, but more pragmatic. I’m quite emotional and sensitive, but I despise this own vulnerability in myself so much at times, on the other hand this emotion carries a big part of my drive and ambition.
Sorry I don’t mean to offend anyone, I respect that everyone has their own desires and preferences. Nevertheless, I feel bad when I read about the wishes of people, wanting to become that dominant masculine alpha guy and wanting (a) submissive, cute, sexy, feminine chick(s). Yes, everyone should do their own thing I respect that, but I often feel like there’s no place for me. As if I can’t match anyone’s expectations. I have a partner and sometimes this issue is causing disturbance in myself. It sounds so wrong and weird and stupid… but I can’t deny those thoughts.
This useless worry is standing in my way and needs to be eliminated. The fear needs to be given up, so that I can freely grow I believe? Stop caring about how masculine/feminine I am, and instead develop into a better version of who I am and want to be, being able to achieve my endavours.

[Lion]

@Vanno - your thoughts about Masculinity is a worthy concern. The thing is that woman just need to be physically attractive and have a pleasant personality to be desirable. Heck, we can even ignore the latter and they are still attractive. But for men, there is a lot depending on their performance which depends on their Masculinity. And Masculinity is what helps you be better in all aspects.

You don’t have to do this immediately but you could consider adding the stacking module Godlike Masculinity Q to your gaming subliminal. Either that or add Ascension Q sub to GMX for an even stronger Alpha boost. Wanna go all out? Do Godlike Masculinity Q + Ascension Q + Gaming Mastery X. Just a recommendation. Feel free to follow your wishes.

[Vanno]

I don’t have any wish to attract people in a romantic/sexual way except my partner, who already loves me regardless of my looks, inner conflicts and problems.

However, does more masculinity help me perform better in games? I don’t wanna be good to impress some significant other in that way, but more for the joy of the game and mastering an activity instead. I also wanna prove some people wrong tbh, but mainly i wanna challenge my limits and own abilities.

If those subs will be beneficial for these intentions and goals, it’s surely a good idea to try them out.

[Vanno]

Also weird question but I’m curious what you think about it: If performance is dependent on “masculinity”, does that mean that men are in general/naturally/biologically better than women at activities that require performance such as gaming, sports etc.? Or does that only relate to “masculine/feminine mindset”?

[Lion]

@Vanno - absolutely. When you rise in masculinity (Godlike Masculinity Q), it automatically improves your relationship with your woman. And with everyone in your world. You feel more disciplined too.

Ascension Q is to raise your alpha-ness. And the more alpha you feel, the better you feel about yourself. Confidence then rises and so does performance resulting in being a better self which helps break through your limits. You also are stronger in relationship with everyone in your world because being an alpha helps you dominate any situation.

Being alpha (Ascension Q) and masculine (Godlike Masculinity Q) will always improve you whether you desire to chase many women or stick to one.

And yes, men are better than women at activities like gaming and sports. This is easy to compare. If you make women compete with men especially in physical activities, you will see that men largely win in this department whereas women are better at social intelligence. Men’s higher testosterone (which also influences their masculinity) give men an advantage in their bodies with regard to physical strength and this has been proven in tests over and over again. This is why there are separate gender based categories in sports.

But since men have been losing their “manhood” with the rise of bad food and pollution that lowers testosterone, and along with a culture that largely doesn’t know how to initiate and teach boys to be men anymore, we require these tools to help ourselves.

[Malkuth]

Yeah, there are always going to be crowds of people liking and asserting and advocating different things.

Living things are beings of magnetism and polarity. We simply are.

So, if your own base is not sufficiently developed, you’ll feel pushed and pulled this way and that. The magnetism of various beings ideas, auras, bodies, etc., will interact with your own magnetism, attracting you or repelling you.

Masculinity is not technically about biological males. It’s about the Active Pole as expressed through living organisms. Femininity is not about biological females. It’s about the Receptive, Nurturing Pole. All people contain both and need both. Just as we all need to exhale and inhale. Your own particular preferred balance is up to you to explore and establish.

But my opinion: be compassionate to yourself through the whole process. We’re all just here trying to work it out.

[Vanno]

What if women gain that “manhood” and masculinity? Are they able to compete with men in gaming? Not talking about physical activities here, as those are more biologically based. Gaming is for the most part mental. The amount of women in esports is really low, but they still exist. So I’m wondering if women who are “manly” enough are able to compete with the top?

Confidence and more discipline are definitely things I need, but I don’t wanna become bossy nor suppressing in social situations, people have always valued my empathetic side. Of course in gaming this has its advantages, but I also don’t wanna become toxic and too assertful to my own team mates.
Lots of people in the gaming community have big ego problems, and I don’t wanna become one of them (oof maybe I already have them, but I wouldn’t consider myself arrogant or cocky).

[Vanno]

I’m relieved to hear about the poles and not specifically males or females. That’s why I got interested in subliminals, as in becoming someone you want to be regardless of how you were born. I really don’t wanna give up any of those poles, but I also need to find the right balances for any situation - mainly active pole for gaming - receptive pole for helping someone socially or for compassion. Maybe I need the additional masculinity subs to improve my own personal balance in the gaming area and explore that masculine side of myself more as I probably neglected it a bit in the past years.