Day 3: 2 loops of Ultima A
Today was a crazy day. It is currently 2 am while I am writing this and I am pretty drunk. It might be better to just post my experiences tomorrow but there are some thoughts I need to put to paper right now. It might be that I will edit some of the things I write tomorrow or elaborate on my post. But for now let’s say this:
The day started with me being pretty tired without much work motivation which would normally result in me falling in bad old habits like watching YT videos the whole day. Instead, I decided to go outside and listen to one loop of Ultima A. When I started to listen to the sub, I immediately started to get attracted by the beautiful sky outside. I noticed how the birds where flying - sometimes just flying for the sake of being free, sometimes to fly away and sometimes to chase another bird. It was outstanding… the harmony and the peace I was experiencing at that moment. After a while, I was drifting away dreaming of a known person representing my old bully in highschool. But this time it was different, I did not dream how he made me feel bad but I dreamt watching him from a third perspective, how he behaved, what thoughts he had. I studied him in my dreams and came to the conclusion, that he isn’t much different from all of us. He is also not evil or mean, he is a human having the same problems, same desires as all of us. That was a very interesting perspective on its own as I have never ever gone so far look at him from a neutral angle even though he often plays in my dreams.
After finishing the loop, I began to feel good. I quickly gained my desire to study and also did so very productively and efficiently (like going through my flashcards). I went inside and got into the flow state where I studied and really enjoyed it. I felt good so I decided to listen to another loop of Ultima while working on my studies. 3 hours later, I became extremely happy. I was so happy how much I enjoy the work and how amazing my new study system was (which I developed a few days ago). In my break, I played some music and started dancing like in the following video and even to the same music:
While doing so, I forgot everything about listening to Ultima A and just thought studying made me so euphoric. It was only later when I realized the connection. Ultima A is really a party machine.
I could stop here but this is not the end of my day.
Later, I went out doing sport with a good buddy. We had a lot of fun as usual but I felt he was not so “on” in the beginning. This quickly faded after a while, as I must have been affecting him with my good mood. After sport, I planned to go home when we were talking about me joining him and some other friends of mine in the evening. I first denied, but I quickly manifested my way to join them anyway. 2 hours later, it also happened like that. I was sitting with some people (also some nice girls) drinking and partying. I was enjoying myself very much and also had a lot of fun with my buddy ignoring the other girls. Somehow, another girl happened to call another girl I know, when I came closer to here. At that time, my buddy hurt himself with glass getting a deep bloody wound and we had to go with him to the hospital. Fast forwarding, I ended up being with one nice girl alone. We had a good time and she was confronting me with some bullshit while I was building some sexual tension about how I used to do on Khan Stage 4. We got really close, touching each other and stuff like that. However, 30 mins later she whispered something about me having a bad mouth breath where I immediately backed off. There was an event, in the past where she said something similar. But to this day she is the only girl ever telling me this while I am making out with a lot on a regular base (pre-corona, of course). So I backed off and did not try any more moves for the day. I mean when you drink you probably stink like alcohol pretty sure and while some including me don’t smell it that much, she might be just sensitive to it. I backed off but still kept my cool alpha frame for the rest of the evening with my buddy. She even suggested later TWICE that I can sleep at her place, but I denied. But why I am writing all this? It actually belongs to my private journal and not here, but I am wondering if either the results are so fucking permanent or if I did’t not get any results from subclub at all. Today, my seduction was exactly like it was on Khan Stage 4/Stage 1 even though I had a subliminal washout for 2 fucking weeks. Am I just imaging my results thinking it is because of the sub? Would I get the same results without subs? It is not only this but also my productivity improved lately alot 2 weeks after the last time listening (and before Ultima). Maybe I am just weird, drunk, or experiencing reconcilation. Would love to get some input from everyone, including @SaintSovereign.