@Malkuth I am very carefully watching my mental and emotional state and wellbeing. I was thinking earlier how for me it’s important that I have modules such as Attachment Destroyer and Rogue in my customs as I am very much learning to release and let go of that which simply does not matter even more rapidly. Even as my Wife and I have folks around us that want to impose their outdated and quite possibly very toxic beliefs on us. I don’t think a lot of people realize that very often the best way to be supportive of anything is just be there and shut the fuck up unless requested otherwise.
I really want to learn to let go and not be attached to not just what has kept me stuck but also of any outcome or expectations. Selective apathy.
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That’s very real.
One of the very first and most important skills practiced by students of Wisdom and Healing throughout the ages has been Shutting the Fuck Up. That and Getting the Fuck Over Yourself are two major prerequisites for learning almost anything useful.
And yeah, a third important skill is learning how to manage the many people who have not made much progress with those first two skills.
Those modules you mentioned will be useful and I look forward to when I’m running them myself.
Keep doing it. 
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Not sure if it’s because of my ongoing use of Beyond Limitless Ultima or because I added in EOGQ Stage 1 yesterday but I did have two interesting dreams last night. One was me attempting to get employed at a job I had previously only to be told that for whatever reason I had to take a psych exam to prove I don’t have down syndrome. Obviously I don’t but I know that being told that was from growing up always having my intelligence questioned and at one point being told constantly I must be " partially retarded ". There words not mine. I was told that because I was more than a bit of a non conformist and wasn’t a fan of being told how to live my life or plan my future.
In the other dream my biological mother moved to a different state. Not very far aware but enough. I’m not sure what that means other than to continue the distance I have between myself and my biological , half , and step families.
Honestly I am having a lot of fun running both Beyond Limitless Ultima and EOGQ Stage 1. I have always been super stressed about money or often the lack of it . I have spent the last several years feeling like being broke or close to poverty level obviously isn’t doing myself or my wife any favors but also very unsure what to do about it. I have never understood the total contempt for people who have achieved financial independence. As if being broke and poor is some noble form of suffering.
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No idea why but I am far more motivated today than I have been in a while. I was able to get quite a few things done that honestly I didn’t want to do more out of feeling they would take far longer than they did. Now I feel like I should be doing something I just have no idea what. Obviously I am making sure my Wife is ok and has what she needs.
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Currently running a loop of my Alpha and Wealth focused custom. Really pushing myself to find better options for me and my family. Listening to this yesterday as well as running a couple of loops of Ecstasy of Gold Stage 1 just really got me thinking about where I want my focus to be. That it’s quite possible that the reason I have felt so overwhelmed and stressed out is because of my finances or lack thereof. Obviously it’s far easier to get shit done if you aren’t worried about a lack of resources. I have for a long time felt a burning desire to be able to tell people to just go away and not have to deal with their bullshit drama , criticism, insecurity, and narcissism.
I think for me right now is just this feeling of wanting to walk away from a lot of crap and people. My Wife having a heart attack , having triple bypass surgery, and spending entire days afterwards with her in the hospital just made me really aware of who in our lives are there while its convenient for them and how quickly their focus goes back to themselves.
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Yes, important to be there for your wife at this point of time. Other stuff can wait.
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I know the feeling. I’m not sure if it’s purely BLU in my case, as I’m stacking it with other subs. Either way, I tend to think of past mistakes and how I could have avoided them. Maybe reconciliation, or maybe that’s just how BLU and the rest of my stack helps me learn. In either case, just take it as a way to improve.
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@d1gz I agree. Definitely making sure I never make those same mistakes again. I have been reading up a lot on decision making and how it’s really nothing more than a series of tradeoffs.Not shocking I know but when you start looking at the long term impact to do or not do something you really at least in my case , start asking yourself how important or necessary something is or isn’t.
For me it’s definitely running Beyond Limitless Ultima. Things didn’t really start clicking and those observations weren’t obvious or available for whatever reason prior.
I remember telling my wife a few days after I started running BLU that I have to be careful with it because I don’t want to always feel like I am having existential angst but often that is exactly what is happening. Quite a bit of regret and asking myself what the fuck I was thinking? A lot of it now I realize came from trying to be something I’m not and never will be. Doing things and changing myself to make other people happy.
Haven’t posted in my journal for a bit. I’ve spent a lot of time reevaluating my goals especially with everything going on lately I often feel I have to do all I can to get over my own shit and attachments so I can focus on those that need and rely on me right now. I’m learning to embrace the grind but not necessarily as quickly as I would like. I have to admit that at times I feel like what I want to do is on hold. Which may not necessarily be a bad thing as it’s constantly forcing me to really look at what’s important to me and what can be simplified or eliminated
I posted that how my wife having cardiac bypass surgery has changed everything and I wasn’t wrong. I just wasn’t sure how much or to what extent.
Have you been taking a break from subs? It may be a good idea.
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I have been taking days off. Probably more than I would like at times but sometimes it has to be done as cliche as that sounds. Having an internal and external issues when I run House of Medici. It makes me feel calm and confident and at the same time aggressive or not at all timid or shy which is great for me but apparently puts some people around me on edge that are used to me being silent or going along with things to avoid conflict. It’s sort of weird because I have been looking for a subliminal for years that would help me feel like running House of Medici does
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Hi. My story may help you. At 52, I was going through a bad divorce and my career as a banker was in the throes of the Great Recession. In seven years time, I have emerged with a new career and I am doing well. I have a solid alpha base and am still growing. The hurt and pain never goes away, but the anger and bitterness does.
Just keep laying the good groundwork and your work will pay off.
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Currently running one loop of Stage 1 of Quantum Limitless Q. Sticking with this and BLU for now and will add Executive when it comes out. Highly focused on learning and productivity at the moment as it has been giving me amazing results both internally and externally. Yeah I still very often feel like a raging cosmic pessimist at times but I feel a lot of that is often accepting reality for what it is and not trying to sugar coat anything. I look back and can see the mistakes I have made through my life and a lot if not all of them come down to not stopping and thinking before I did or didnt do something , not prioritizing things properly , being lazy or procrastinating when working which includes working overtime when it was available or staying productive would have been the better option , and not keeping to myself and keeping my mouth shut instead of looking for external validation
So I guess I won’t get the full JCast Xperience. 
On the other hand, the productivity thing seems to be weaving in perfectly with other subs. Running it with Emperor Fitness, I re-did my living room, creating a dedicated workout corner. With Survival Instinct, I re-stocked my first aid kit and go-bag and started reading up on some basic skills I would need. With my prototype sub, I started getting clear indicators about my lifestyle and diet and how those should adapt in order to develop myself further.
Makes me curious what it would do with a custom…
Looking forward to seeing what BLU + Executive will do for you, if you’ll still have time for the Interwebz.
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Survival instinct gives me the impression that people will start preparing emergency bunkers, canned food, first-aid and anything else that will allow them to survive a nuclear fallout and re-emerge in the world as one of the few surviving humans.
Maybe I’ve watched too many Hollywood movies…
https://www.livescience.com/14236-doomsday-survival-gear-supply-list.html