“Only he who is fully sovereign, fully productive, and fully self-mastered may lead.”
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I think Regen has me the closest I’ve been in a while to being able to cry. Still not doing it, but so much must be happening below the surface for me to even feel the things I am.
Bedtime:
5 mins each. Regen, Revelation of Dreams, Mind’s Eye
Goal: work toward fixing my lucidity (been “broken” since 2007 with rare exception).
My dream recall as of late has been shot, due to being hella tired, sleeping less (to accommodate formerly having 2 jobs).
Dream recall last night was immense. Heavily symbolic dreams.
No lucidity, but imagine waking up and remembering so much dream. Elated.
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I took the below selfie earlier on TikTok. But as I did I mentally imagined I was Tywin Lannister. Channeled him as I took the pic. Felt his cunning and wisdom.
An old friend liked it immediately. Said “hi, love”
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Great pic, bruv.
Looking good.
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Brilliant prompt share from @Saiyan4Blue
Ask me 10 questions that reveal things about myself that i am unaware of. Ask them 1 by 1 and don’t explain the reason behind them
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I woke up with a mild itch in my left eye. it got worse as I drove to work.
Was horrible by the time I was at my desk. Felt like dirt in my eye. watering enough I kept it l closed and just blinked a lot.
So I downloaded paragon to the work computer and ran a single loop while working.
was 50% better by the time the loop was over. And just kept getting better!
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I figure the eye was a manifestation of 3+ months without a single full day off.***
When I woke up, and my eye hurt bad enough for me to notice, my very first thought was “Great. If I go out of commission, we’re REALLY fucked! I’m tired of this!”
When I started reflecting on the situation and how skewed/lopsided/“unfair” it is, my eyes started acting up again until I realized and then was like “Aight. I get it.” and it quit haha
*** Long story. Alluded to it previously above in this journal. Wife is jobless still, and any time I’m not working at the day job she wants to instacart (so I can at least do SOMETHING to help, even though that involves me having to be there since she can’t drive yet, her eye situation, etc)
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Let’s say there’s a gentleman we’ll call Shmalpatine who is married to his wife (Mrs. Shmalpatine).
No matter what Shmalpatine tries to do to get ahead financially, stuff seems to happen (which sometimes COULD be attributed to Mrs. Shmalpatine subconscious/unconsciously sabotaging said efforts).
If Shmalpatine runs the Revelation of Wealth title to get more insight into the nature of wealth and how it flows and all that, could this inadvertently lead to the dissolution of their Shmarriage, due to incompatible financial worldviews and beliefs?
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Today’s microstack (3 mins each of):
- Alchemist – Stage 1 (“Spiritual” detox)
- BILLionaire V3.1 (all 4 EoG stages + R.I.C.H. core)
- Revelation of Wealth (belief rebuild)
- Emperor Core (action/sovereignty)
- Wanted (magnetism)
Running now.
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Dream. Prompt.
House Reno
We (wife and I) have found a townhouse that we need to renovate to move into. I’m not really feeling living there.
The townhouse next door is also in a state of semi-disarray. But I get the sense that I really want to live in THAT townhouse.
I think I used to live in that townhouse and would rather live there, than in this new one we found.
Nostalgia? not sure.
Aardvark
I walk into wherever we’re living (this isn’t tied into the townhouse dream at all afaik). Wife is there talking to Aardvark (girl from 2010 I mentioned in previous chats I had a thing for).
Aardvark is there with her family. Her, her kids (she’s married IRL now), her mother. I’m floored as wife never met Aardvark, so of course I’m wondering what led her to be HERE, of all places.
I’m happy to see her, of course. So we all end up spending the day together. I’m talking to her kids, talking to her.
As the day winds down, they’re in their vehicle, I’m looking at Aardvark sitting in one of the rear seats. I feel like there’s so much I want to say to her. Apologizing for being weird about things before. Of course I can’t/won’t since the wife is right there. She and I just look at each other. I sense she had a lot to say too, but understood that we can never be together. blah blah. And I’m feeling accepting of that.
The mother asks me to lead us in prayer before they had back to the place they live. I said “Well, I’m not really of the faith anymore. But I’ll do my best.”
I offer up a prayer basically thanking God for bringing Aardvark back into my life, even though she’s blocked me on everything IRL. Just happy to see her again. Still filled with a sense of love for her, but not romantic. That part is hard to get out into words.
I start to call her my “bestie” but stop short since Cart Girl is my “bestie” according to the wife. Yeah, Wife calls CG my Bestie.
So I stop short, and just say “A good friend”. I open my eyes from my prayer and realize they’re already driving away. I feel a bit dejected. start to chase after their car, but then stop.
Carjacking
Right after the they leave (see “Aardvark” dream), wife and I go to get in the rental car we had. (We’ve been renting cars from Turo to do Instacart since my car is currently out of commission).
There are 2 guys hanging around the vehicle. I feel a bit nervous about the. One resembles Jason Beghe (Actor on Chicago PD) and I feel like they’re there to mess with us.
I nod and say “Sup?” and they say “Sup?”
I get into the passenger sear, and go to pull my door shut, and “Jason” pulls out a pea shooter. Derenger looking thing and says “You’re done.” I get the sense they’re trying to steal the rental vehicle. I say “Like hell!” and slam the door shut.
Wife had already had the vehicle started. I scream. “Reverse! Get us out of here. GO!”
She slams into reverse and drives back, pops it in forward and speeds off. swerving around a couple corners, I figure we’re in the clear at least. She swerves around another corner and there’s 4 or so people on roller skates or roller blades in the road. all over the place. like a carjacking derby.
Suddenly a shot rings out, and one of the skaters falls down dead. wife keeps driving, and I’m barking out orders when to turn to get away.
My thoughts are predominantly about the rental vehicle being stolen or damaged, leaving me on the hook for the costs.
I felt bad the one person got shot and killed. But my thoughts then to to what I’ll say to the cops to explain all this.
She keeps driving away and I woke up. snapped awake.
Later introspection this morning, it’s as if parts of me are trying to keep me in place.
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I just had a funny thought about my car
“It may not be the greatest, but it gets me from Point A to Point A”
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that’s an interesting stack …
What results have you seen from it?
You should make a custom with Regeneration, EoG stage 1, and GLM like i did and see if that works better for you then have your wife run RoW and RICH.
Oh this isn’t about me. It’s about Shmalpatine 
Yeah that def seems like a good combo. I’m currently using Khan4 and GLM:At the Top as my mainstay stack. I swap things in as the third title based on intuition.
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I ran it like once or twice. But my flow factor with these is way better now since I run them with the intention of looking for effects/results.
That one definitely shook something loose after a loop or two. Helped me settle onto K4+GLM:ATT with @Geoff’s assistance.
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That sounds like an interesting combo
How is that working for you so far?
It slaps all across the board.!
I’ve removed the intake manifold from my car, found the coolant leak FINALLY. waiting on replacement parts.
I’ve all but told wife that I want Cart Girl. I’ve dropped several innuendos which she’s caught onto. I think she’s just afraid to ask outright haha.
Told he as much as if we ended up splitting someday, WHO at the store I’d go for. Besides Cart Girl. I like a few, but CG is the only one I think about every day.
I told her that once i get this car working better, if we get another like she wants, I’m going to give CG this car as her first car (if she accepts it. I’m not sure if she will accept a gift. Because, like Dagny Taggart, CG is not a moocher)
The thing with the car is wife kept wanting to just “push” it and do Instacart to keep up with hotel room costs. I finally told her “If we keep pushing it, even if I dump in coolant as fast as it’ll take it, it will eventually break down”.
She finally listened and “let” me have time in my time off from the main job to work on it.
Overall, I’d say my masculine core is amping up all over the place.
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At one point, she said “Don’t you think Cart Girl is a bit young for you?”
And I said “Well, neither of us has any control over when we were born, so that’s not something I concern myself with.”
Today’s stack is 3 mins each of:
Khan4
GLM:ATT
Heartsong
DR: LD
DR: Phoenix