Trader in 2025!

[CurlyGirl]

For me, there is a subtle difference between being “productive” and being “productive.”

If productivity is about doing something for your shared future, then there should be no issue if the man works a bit longer sometimes.

Of course, you want to spend a lot of time with the person you love, and it often makes you sad when they are working more. But that doesn’t mean you don’t recognize or appreciate their effort.

However, if productivity is limited to investing time in things that neither benefit the man nor the couple as a whole, then in my eyes, it’s wasted time.

If you have plenty of time during the day but only take care of everything in the evening — at the last minute — then it can seem like the investment in extra work isn’t being taken seriously. To me, that comes across as lazily fair.

If you are planning a future together with someone, then you should take that — and everything that will lead to it — seriously.

[Trader]

Apologies for the generalization. Weird couple weeks.

Just yesterday, my friend showed me an AI service he built. Which he thinks should be able to retire him from his job once he gets 10K regular users.

I said “ooh. Then enough time to build something else too!”

He said his wife probably wouldn’t like that. Said she wants him to partake in mindless hobbies like watching TV.

Whenever he dives in on a project, she tries to pull him out to “spend time” with her.

Ugh. No thanks.

[Trader]

I’ve never seriously wanted to get a tattoo. Like EVER.

But today, I was hit with an inspired idea because of the stuff I’m doing lately to work on my masculine core.

This is what I wanna get eventually:

[Trader]

There’s a guy at work who people talk about behind his back because he asks girls out at work.
Someone tried talking to ME about him lol. Wrong guy.
They said “He asks everyone out! Ewww!”
I said “So you’re judging a guy for having the courage to ask people out? Sit the fuck down”

[TheRock]

@Trader

I was at 28%BF when I started this new dietary stuff, and am 23-24% now, it fluctuates depending what I eat. About to knuckle down a bit more and push for 20%. Ultimate goal is 10%, and I’ll get as far as I can with diet. But I know I’ll need to incorporate some working out eventually so I don’t look weird af once I get closer and and closer to 10.

How is it going with the weight loss?

[Trader]

Stalled out back at 23% right now.
Money for decent food has been scarce.

[Trader]

“To love is to value; to be in love is to desire that value as your own.”

[Trader]

I got four sixes tonight. And today is my anniversary. Well shit.

[Trader]

So with the exception of one money stack a few weeks ago, I’ve been on a SubClub washout that ended up being several months long.

I broke it today in earnest.

Report follows:

---

Remember how I ran all 4 khan stages at work that one time then went back home and wife wanted it, and she came so good she was crying?

All 4 stages of EoG now to see what happens lol

so…EoG result.

I ran the full spread today.

Got yet another “pre-approved offer” from my bank for a credit card. which they usually email them, and I apply and got denied because of my credit rating lol

Ran each EoG stage today, 15 mins each.

Got one in the mail today, was gonna say “fuck it” and ditch it. but then was like “Eh, I ran EoG. I’ll see what happens”

Got approved for $1K mastercard this time. which means I can finally use that to pay my recurring expenses each month, and then use the money For those to pay the card off each month.

Automatic credit score boost over time without any more cash outlay. I call that a result.

Haven’t been able to get credit for a few years now because of life shit lol

But…also…result from the Power Switch (Alex Allman) stuff.

I told wife i got approved for a $1K Capital One Mastercard.

And her eyes lit the fuck up. “I can get my lenses?”

Since that’ll be $1500 or so. and I said “No. We still gotta make money for that first. If you go maxing out that card then that’s suddenly a few hundred dollars each month I’ll have to worry about paying back. No. Figure out how to make money for those.”

I mean yeah she’d be ecstatic that she can see.

EDIT: A lot has changed since I wasn’t journaling as much.

• I went back to my office job from before (the one I left to work at the store “full time”)
• I went back to the store job on nights to pay for wife’s lenses she needs faster.
• I ended up quitting the store job Thursday last week (might journal about that later).
• We’re not any better financially than before (except the card).
• The lenses are scleral lenses that basically “replace” her corneas.

[ABC333]

I want to make the women cry. Haha! Good stuff!

[Trader]

There’s a building near the hotel. Used to be a Staples. But it’s been closed for a while.

Sometime early this year, construction crews showed up and demolished the whole inside. Tore off the front. Rebuilt it. Now it’s a sort of 24/7 clinic.

I’m on my 3rd reading of Atlas Shrugged. Each time I read it I find “new” things.

Back during my very long washout is when they opened the clinic up.

A few days ago I was driving past it and looked at it and was overcome by a sense of “pride”(?)

Pride in the ability of humankind to have an idea (such as a clinic) and then take actions to make the idea manifest.

I’m not sure pride is the right word. But it’s a sense that it’s “right” or “moral” to build. New construction is “right” somehow. Kinda like a fight against entropy.

Big theme of my life lately has been entropy. And the seeking struggle to keep it from gaining ground.

So seeing that clinic open filled me with a good feeling.

Just yesterday I was driving by and saw a staff member taking garbage to the dumpster.

Filled with a sense of reverent awe that that man has a job because SOMEONE had a vision of a clinic where the building sat empty for a long time prior.

And they made that vision into something real in the world.

In a similar vein, when I was in the middle of my reading in Atlas Shrugged a few day ago, I was filled with gratitude for Ayn Rand. And the fact that she devoted YEARS to writing this.

She reportedly spent something like 3-4 years working on writing Galt’s radio speech alone. Many years to plan and write this.

Imagine if she’d instead said “meh, don’t feel like writing today.”

So I’m grateful that she put in the work.

[Trader]

For bedtime, I queued up 3 mins each of:
Genesis:Happy Happy Joy Joy
Heartsong
GLM: At the Top
Libertine
Love Bomb (not the newest version. The one from the Moonbeam stack)
DR: Regen
Across the Stars (Alala)

No dream recall.
Woke up feeling a tad tired. But not more than usual. That’s just me not wanting to get up in the mornings because of life situations.

On the way to work, U2s “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” popped on my playlist.

I was overcome with a sense of reverent awe for life itself in general. And more of the specific thing of gratitude that humankind has the ability to CREATE. The Power of Creation.

It wasn’t the lyrics/content of the song itself. But more just appreciating how adept Bono is with vocals.

Then thinking how much time (YEARS) he put into honing his craft.

I’ve always loved that song, because of the beat, the vocals, etc. This is a new depth of love for it now, though.

[Trader]

As I was getting in my car this morning at the hotel, I saw medics bring a guy out the Emergency Room entrance of that clinic (It’s next door to the hotel and my car was facing the clinic from my parking spot).

I felt compassion for this guy. Old guy. looked to be 70s/80s. On the gurney. IV attached. I felt compassion for him and also felt gratitude yet again that someone’s vision of this place led to to this guy getting the help he needs.

Then I took off for work (leading to the post above).

[Trader]

I’m feeling led to stack The Revelation of Wealth in with DR: Regeneration. That seems prudent now.

And given the nature of those 2, I’ll include Hero Origins: Sage and Blade. The Virtue scripting also seems prudent.

[Trader]

I’m thinking I should bring Emperor back in eventually
I need some of that resilience.
I definitely don’t feel strong or resilient anymore
I think DR: Regen is removing some blinders or something. like I’ve been really tired for a while but been deluding myself about how serious it is.

[Trader]

“Only he who is fully sovereign, fully productive, and fully self-mastered may lead.”

[Trader]

I think Regen has me the closest I’ve been in a while to being able to cry. Still not doing it, but so much must be happening below the surface for me to even feel the things I am.

[Trader]

Bedtime:
5 mins each. Regen, Revelation of Dreams, Mind’s Eye

Goal: work toward fixing my lucidity (been “broken” since 2007 with rare exception).

My dream recall as of late has been shot, due to being hella tired, sleeping less (to accommodate formerly having 2 jobs).

Dream recall last night was immense. Heavily symbolic dreams.

No lucidity, but imagine waking up and remembering so much dream. Elated.

[Trader]

I took the below selfie earlier on TikTok. But as I did I mentally imagined I was Tywin Lannister. Channeled him as I took the pic. Felt his cunning and wisdom.

An old friend liked it immediately. Said “hi, love”

[Malkuth]

Great pic, bruv.

Looking good.