The recon has the same form it’s had a couple of times before that is it’s some kind of foreboding feeling as if the whole world was plotting against me to crush me utterly soon but I’m not afraid of that but rather sad… Again, it’s just my mind trying to keep me in the prison of my old self. Yeah, it’s like a subliminal purgatory, almost like psychical pain, as if my soul was crying.
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After taking two nights off I ran my stack last night and the recon has passed. It looks like following the recommended listening pattern doesn’t give your mind enough time to get it. I only assume but I’m probably wrong that following the aforementioned patter doesn’t give your mind enough time to fully integrate the scripts, therefore, doing regular washouts (and getting recon doing so) is not only inevitable but also necessary for progressing and growing.
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Although yesterday was a good day recon started hitting me again and I’m still experiencing it. It looks like it accumulates with time and the longer you listen to your subs the more prone you’re to recon even though you do washouts. Maybe it’s about your subs hitting you deeper with time.
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After making a conscious shift in my train of thought and thinking patterns the recon has passed away. It feels like growing internally but it may be just an impression I got. That was the very same recon I usually got (that foreboding feeling) but this time it felt as if some part of me was getting disintegrated. Interesting. And now it was like integrating that part of me again but not back to the previous form.
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Today I realized how much I had been tense, intense, serious and… in-caged since I remember. My inability to express my power and beauty was just insane… it looks like that blockage has finally started dissolving. People are right, recon is a good thing since it flags up that great changes are going to happen and a new future awaits you. Cool! 
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As I have to become an expert in my field learning tons of stuff and I’ll be generating wealth from that field I have to give up on RM for Stark. I wanted to run RM a bit longer for the freedom of expression and the Empath module but the things I mentioned are my priority. I’ll be switching on the morrow. If it was too much to handle I’ll have to give up on Alchemist too.
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I wish I could run RM for a longer time since it’s a lovely title that has given me much more freedom in expressing myself and connecting with people, and it did it to me in six weeks only, but moving to Stark is inevitable right now. On top of that, I didn’t employ some parts of the script, the parts related to mastering arts, crafts and creativity. Another thing is Stark also helps you be more expressive and connect with people so I hope, and I’m actually sure, that I’ll keep growing in that direction.
I just finally understood what @Simon said about using subs like a toolbox. As long as you really know what you want and have your goals set juggling with subs to adapt them to your desires and goals is a good thing. The bad thing is changing your mind constantly if it comes to what you want and what your goals are.
@RVconsultant Please, kindly close my thread. Thank you.
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Closed as per request of the original poster.
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