Thoughts and Rambles

Journals - Major Programs
#201

My dreams have been a little more nonsensical in the sense that there are a few obvious meanings, and the rest is kind of vague or up to interpretation, plus the fact that almost everything is processing together. Does a pigeon symbolize peace and harmony like many other people say, or is it just annoying and symbolizing my personal experiences with them? Is a raven some omen of deep change, or is it just signifying what I believe an intelligent animal is?

Nonetheless, enjoying this. My dreams have stayed connected to the point that they’re not really multiple dreams anymore, just connected events taking place over the course of “days”. They feel a lot more real though, if I asked myself what’s the gap between some events from last night and my waking life, I’d probably be able to close it in a day. I’d be able to find exactly what I need to create the exact feelings that were shown to me. Currently it feels like my sensitivity is still there, but that I’m processing really fast again. My intuition feels like a pillar I connected to, that I’m able to easily talk to and rely on to speed things up. 3/4 of those growth points are getting developed, and one of them feels amazing right now, to the point that I wouldn’t even think of it as something needing development soon. It’ll join the rest of me in natural growth. A little turbulent this past week, but I’m enjoying the changes. Rather, I think my identity is evolving to enjoy and embrace those changes too. I want to run more RAIKOV, it’s really fun. I think it’s coming in second only to RoD, but I still want a little more time to make sure. ASBR is more fun too, I feel less dragged down or heavy with it. Is change even happening? It’s honestly just life. Can I become more of myself? If the changes are fun and in line with who I am, are they really change? I want to think more like that now. Just tweaking what already exists without even thinking about it. I am who I am, and all “change” really is is us having to make sense of a new reality, even if that reality existed all this time, it just hadn’t been externalized yet. Ready for the new. Ready to have more fun. Ready to just exist. “Making money” isn’t even a thing to me. Maybe it’s something to be healed, but I can’t separate income from a passion or action that it takes to earn it. But if I’m already exploring a passion that’s naturally lucrative, it’s like I don’t have to think in terms of hard money at all. Wealth comes from enjoyment. The more I engross myself in something, the better the result. I’m glad to leave the grind culture and certain beliefs behind. There is no inherent cost to living, there is no bare minimum “work” that it takes to live an enjoyable life. I am myself, and money just happens to flow in the way that I am. I maybe could find a few more friends that fill the specific niches of things I like, but that’s something I’ll look for. If I start directing WDB and everything else, I know I’ll reach that place in no time.

So yeah, an everything and nothing ramble. I like it here, and I’m hoping to become even less reliant on old systems of validation from the past. Live my life fully the way I want, because in the end people look up to me already. Why wouldn’t I remove any deciding authority that isn’t me?

2 Likes
#202

The Freud fans will kill me lol, but I’m more of the mind (similarly to Jung) that symbols in dreams are reflection of your own feelings and relationship to them, though these may be influenced by the collective meaning. Jung pushed for people to reflect on what the symbols they see means to them.

Also congrats on the great changes, growth and advances!!

3 Likes
#203

Thanks!

I’m starting to believe similarly, as the dream itself makes more sense when I insert my own perceptions in place of the symbols (somewhat annoying NYC pigeons, intelligent ravens as similar to humans) than whatever the general collective thinks they mean. I already consciously differ a lot from other people in how I think of things, so it makes sense that it would happen unconsciously too.

2 Likes
#204

Just some small RAIKOV things I forgot, when I was studying, it’s like I could connect to internal states that were perfect for information absorption. I frequently take mental breaks when doing work now, but the night before an exam it’s like I had a huge boost. Only thing I did was a 30 minute meditation/mental nap which felt amazing. I woke up having access to all those old states that were super plastic for learning. If I just stare at a paragraph of something, I can go back to that exact paragraph in my mind and recreate it in my own words and fuse it with my understanding. Given a picture or figure, I can go back to it with the mental screenshot thing, and then be able to reword and reanalyze it even days later. I’ve been finding and rediscovering old playlists I had for studying that helped like crazy. The girl I was studying with had to have thought it was insane that I walked in with less knowledge than her, and by the end was able to explain the questions she had on things I hadn’t even known before we started.

During the exam too, I was able to just focus. Super smooth recall, and as soon as I opened it I recognized 95% of the material (through the mental “search engine”, I could just look up a concept and all the information on it would be there). The hardest part was actually putting things into words, since they existed as wordless concepts in my head first. I need to get faster at that mental translation. It’s amazing though, it doesn’t matter if I’m passively paying attention or super focused, I still see a boost. Now, all I care about are plastic states that I can learn and work in. There’s the passive absorption/understanding period before I go into full-on work mode as the rest of my mind makes sense of what I need to do. That way when I work, it’s a clearcut point A to point B without struggling to figure out direction.

Don’t really want to clog the RAIKOV thread with only my results — but it’s doing exactly what I thought it’d do and more. Love it, and this is the one title I can honestly see myself using for a decade. If I’m getting good at learning things on the spot now, just imagine how I’ll be after 10 years of getting used to it in different environments.

3 Likes
#205

I love how you use RAIKOV so intuitively. There are so many different ways to apply it, it seems like a lot of users don’t even know where to begin.

It feels like a sub that will keep on giving if you sit back and give it space to breath.

3 Likes
#206

In the middle of a session right now and it’s definitely fighting for that favorite position. I feel like people get too caught up on the details and formal use cases of a sub, and not as much on experimentation and having fun with it themselves. Although to be fair, I have been running THE innovation sub for almost two years straight, so it’s kind of baked into my DNA at this point.

I have to stop myself from trying to just apply RAIKOV in a million ways every day, it’s that versatile. I know I’m gonna give in eventually though. I think adding in Clear Sight was what sealed the deal. Visualization for manifesting? Covered. Visualization for embodiment of models? Easy peasy. Any kind of memory or intelligence based activity? It’s just over. I could keep going on with all the possible use cases. I originally wanted to wait before getting another name embed and stronger build, but then I randomly thought of the combination in the shower and realized that it’d be one of the best possible subliminals I could run.

Now if it had an aspect of the Revelation titles and an unfolding experience with it… I think it’d be the only sub I run forever. If you think of any more creative ways to use it, please let me know. This sub is genuinely so fun to use.

3 Likes
#207

Do you find this all happens unconsciously?

Saw this in the RAIKOV thread and was very very interesting to me. Since this is the case I would assume you would just unconsciously absorb information to model from anything.

2 Likes
#208

Some of it does, but a lot of it is intuition, at least for the really fun things.

The unconscious stuff usually comes in me unintentionally modeling my professors or mentors. If I need to copy or learn something from someone, I’m automatically just going to think like that person, at least to the extent that I need to in order to learn that thing. Recently, at least with music (and the song I’m working on now), I’m realizing how I unconsciously model without intending it. I was supposed to be modeling this one producer’s style, and ended up fusing into another that I also really like :joy:. Not complaining.

But for the stuff like the search engine and screenshot thing, those were somewhat unconscious but also with my prompting. Like, I needed to memorize a picture and the concept behind it, so because I had that prompting, the system for memorizing it just kind of materialized. Specifically, it’s like I heard a voice asking “Do you need to remember this?” and I said yes, and that’s the result that followed. Me modeling a healthy version of myself a few weeks ago was fully conscious though, that’s just the type of idea I pull when I’m desperate.

So I’d say it’s a mix of both, I think it’s why I’m starting to work with my intuition as a construct too. I have a request or desire and it just takes over from there. I do think that there’s more modeling that I’m not aware of right now though. We need to model to make sense of the world, which is why place cells and mirror neurons exist. I’m sure RAIKOV is latching onto more subtle use cases of those and I’m just too focused on the shiny things to notice all of them.

When I want a behavior or trait, new imaginary mental models will pop up too. People I’ve never met before whose sole purpose is to mold my personality and add that trait into it. They never usually last more than a few days though, by then the trait’s naturalized and I’ve kind of forgotten about it.

2 Likes
#209

My next planned use case is to model some characters I don’t like in the stories I read and find the aspects of myself that I don’t like — then change them. Waiting until I have the emotional bandwidth though since that’ll be kind of intense.

2 Likes
#210

Woke up tired and didn’t want to start the day. Realized that’s not the mental environment I wanted. So I just changed the mental environment. No need for caffeine now. Good morning.

2 Likes
#211

A beginner with infinite potential is still a beginner.

1 Like
#212

Potency > Potential

1 Like
#213

The rock will never become a diamond without formative pressure. But once it reaches that point, it’s strong enough to break the rock it once was.

1 Like
#214

The learning process is weird. Like, I’m learning fast and doing fine. But, I want to do better? Going at a reasonable pace is reasonable, yet I’m not reasonable anymore. The small frustration from not doing something perfectly, from not being where I want to be, it isn’t truly painful. There’s a sting and there’s a vision of the place I want to be, and yet that same sting itself is fuel. It fuels back into my identity, fuels the effort I take in every minute of the day. I never want to settle on this. It’s not that I want to be better, I will be better. It’s not a mantra or me trying to motivate myself, it just will happen. Almost like a fact of life. Just like genetic evolution takes its natural course, so too will mine. I have the architecture, I have the timing, luck, and drive. But this moment still exists. In order for me to be good, I have to be bad. In order for me to be a master, I have to be a beginner. This moment has to exist. These emotions had no choice but to be formed. Behind the future of genius and mastery stands me, the one fueled only by the gap between me and where I want to be. Every emotion gets transmuted, the very concept of “I” will change. Can I even describe my future if I won’t have the same eyes as the one that sees it?

2 Likes
#215

A picture of success that’s different than I originally envisioned. My personality being slightly different, the circumstances not exactly the same as before. It’s weird. It feels like that’s my biggest fear. Maybe it’s because I can’t process anything outside of that original vision, or maybe that the old me still has a hold, trying to maintain his control. If I don’t have exactly what he wants, it’s like I never fulfilled him.

Yet… the world itself has already changed past what he wanted. I’m not with all the same people, collaborators came and went, and even my passions and dreams are different. There’s an equally opposing side that seemingly wants to break his vision, to embrace the new life of freedom and philosophies I’ve begun to accept on the surface level. In order to survive in an everchanging world and get what we want, we have to adapt, regardless of how we feel about it. I have to become fluid if I want to exist as I please, desires and dreams have the permission to change. I have to show myself that just because I have the permission to change my deepest desires, it doesn’t mean that I’ll suddenly neglect my old promises to myself.

A lot of feelings, but I know RAIKOV is helping to guide me through them. In two weeks, I’m not sure if I can say I’ll be the same person anymore. That deep of a vision and identity change. I know I’ll make it through though, everything I’ve ever wanted is on the horizon.

3 Likes
#216

Woke up from an interesting dream. The events of the dream were supposed to have me go somewhere with some people, and while I let my “body” do that, I separated my mind and consciousness to stay with someone else. And the dream continued on its own path with still a bunch of symbolism? My body became physical again at some point too, all while I knew my other body was experiencing completely different events.

Might go into depth of explaining and analyzing it later, but when lucid dreaming, are the events that take place after one makes a conscious decision still symbolic? Like, can I trust the things that happened after I separated still as a message from my subconscious? I feel like I already know it’s yes, but I just need to sit in that for a bit longer. The dream took back over after I made that decision, so it’s not like I was making my own imagery.

Continuing on with the Regen thing (just using it as an as-needed system regulator), I put it on a few minutes ago and instantly felt a voice tell my body to relax. I know my sensitivity is increasing, but that’s still kinda cool and I didn’t realize that’s something I’d start to be privy to.

Feeling a lot better since last night about change, I know that a lot of me wants change, even if it doesn’t realize it at the moment. Like a complex equivalent a child can’t grasp. You want to go to Disney World, but don’t want to go on a plane or sit long enough in a car to drive there. Eventually they’ll get over the fear, but until then it’s a little bit of parenting and waiting for the kid to naturally develop that intuition on their own.

2 Likes
#217

I’m also curious if “micro-stonewalling” exists as a phenomena. That, as someone listens to a sub (or anything really) that if there’s a concept that continually causes pain, they just naturally reject and tune that specific part out. I was originally worried about that happening to the fame stuff of Stark Black, but then realized that all the development was happening, I just wasn’t seeing it and wasn’t giving it situations to naturally express.

That’s a sub that I’m super natural and comfortable with though, I’m sure there have to be cases of someone repressing something so much that their mind just refuses to acknowledge its existence. Like learning everything in a class except for the one concept you absolutely hate, you “tune it out” and end up learning very little about it by the end. May not be stonewalling, but that’s the kind of thing I’m thinking of. If one has the desire to change it or learn that thing, maybe it’d eventually get done, but if they don’t, it could just remain unexplored.

2 Likes
#218

Often with traumas (trauma in the sense of something that cause intense negative emotions), in order to protect the conscious, the memory stays in the unconscious process queue until the conscious is able to treat it.

It may take the form either of a black out, or more often a gray out (some part of the memory are occulted, image without sound, sense of touch missing, smell memory missing, anything that’s incomplete memory)

So yeah, definitely possible

2 Likes
#219

Imagine being able to do it at will. Conscious guidance to the max.

2 Likes
#220

Kind of interpreting on the fly but here we go. Dream started with me going to hang out with a childhood friend. I was waiting downstairs with a few other strangers in their dorm lobby when a girl who lived there walked in but looked uneasy about opening the door. I directly asked if me showing her my student ID would make her feel better and she said “actually, yeah.” Someone else came to open the door by then, but I’m taking this bit to signal that I should open up and show my “ID” to people more, letting them know what kind of person I am from the start instead of just letting them find out over time.

Anyway, I met my friend and me and their roommate hung out a bit, then went to the store to get something. They then told me to wait by a random covered car while they parked, and I just went with it. I ended up sitting on the roof of it for some reason. I hear my name, and turn around to see the owner of the car is a friend from some of my classes a while ago. I can tell some WDB processing was going on, because this is the same girl I got a dream about on Inner Circle, and had a synchronicity with when I tried out Heartsong for a few days. She’s already dating someone though, so I’ve never wanted to take things in that direction.

After that, my friend called out to me to come back and I did, and that’s when my consciousness split. I just felt the feeling of “I want to stay with her now,” so some spirit version of me stayed while my body returned? She started to drive somewhere while my spirit was in the front seat and I was wondering if she could see me, and eventually she made a movement to grab something around me so I knew she could. We were just talking a bit from there. Saw a pretty church and stopped for a bit, and then started back. I know for a fact my physical form came back at some point because we were making comments about the seat and seatbelt being/looking uncomfortable. She then invited me to something with her roommate the next day, some event I’d normally say no to, but I said yes to. I was reflecting in the dream and thinking “I normally say no, why did I say yes? I’m having fun though.” I also got a joking text from someone that I’ll probably be business partners with in the future, super successful.

Not sure how much the details or imagery matter too much, but I feel like this is just a clear message to “separate” from my typical idea of myself. Quite literally leaving my body and doing things I normally wouldn’t, but even still enjoying myself. A new body formed around me, probably relating to that fluid reality stuff I was saying before of reality adjusting to my internal physics. The fact that I chose to spend time with a newer friend over an older one probably signifying risk-taking, my identity having evolved, or me just valuing the life I have now over the one I used to have, the ones that the older people in my life think I still live. It was interesting seeing the dissonance a few years ago when they realized how much my personality had changed. And obviously the being close to the successful business person. Almost like a cheeky “you’ll get what you want” reference. I’m gonna take a lot of these smaller things as intricacies and details that RAIKOV is working on too.

Super fun that I suddenly gained the superpower to separate my mind/spirit from my body though. I’d love to randomly keep gaining powers in dreams and making them more interesting. Wondering if I can start to understand the sensation I had when I separated and use that to fuel my RAIKOV sessions.

EDIT: Just thought of a new interpretation of the girl appearing. When I cast away my identity and just am, I can do and experience things that I previously thought weren’t possible or “couldn’t happen”.

1 Like