Alright, took the time to draw what needed drawing and add the explanations for the drawings, hopefully that’ll resonate with you and be helpful on your quest ^^
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Thank you so much for giving such a detailed reply I’m able to apply! A lot to dig into for different points in my life.
I think this is what I’m trying to get used to. I’ve very much been able to get away with not perceiving the impact I have on the world. As in, I think, because of how focused and “in my own bubble” school requires me to be, I end up interacting and immediately retreating back to a mental place where it’s just me, allowing me to not see what kind of influence I’m having outside of the obvious short-term. That bubble is comfortable, but I feel it’s slowly breaking. I can’t NOT have an influence on the world around me when I’m listening to these subs, especially Stark Black. I’m not the type to handwave results, but I’m also not the type to give myself the benefit of the doubt. I always try to assume the worst and give myself little wiggle room so that it’s difficult for me to not be able to deal with something. If I assume this person is neutral or doesn’t like me, and don’t carry the assumption strongly enough to create a feedback loop, then it’s just keeping me prepared for the worst possible situation. It leads to more pleasant surprises, but I’m able to deal with those much easier than unpleasant ones. I even downplay the elements of the subs that I do get here. I’ve had almost every feature of Stark Black manifest at least once, and if someone close to me were to look at the copy, they’d see a ton of parallels. It’s weird to think of, but it’s like my presence is starting to be accepted like that by the collective unconscious. I think it’s the fact that it’s almost all been foundational that keeps me still able to get away with this. But the fact that things are starting to progress to the point past foundations means that my time ignoring my own impact will end soon. There was some post (a couple I believe) of Saint saying how we’re typically blind to a lot of the changes we get, and it’s more after looking back or seeing that change reflected back at us that we’ll see it. It’s part of the reality bending nature of ZP.
I think this is what my subconscious wants me to become aware of next. The act of creation itself becomes second nature both while asleep and awake, and I’m needing to be eased into that fact. It feels as if both of these skills are coming at once, as despite me not trying to use dreams to manifest, whenever RoD is in my stack, manifestations increase in frequency an insane amount. Could the amount of control I have over my own dream world translate to the control I have over my waking one? It honestly feels a little unprecedented to think that this power could increase, considering how when using these subs, one’s power to manifest already skyrockets.
From your view on consciousness, it’s almost as if the barriers on every level are becoming more permeable. My thoughts and memories bleed into every dream, along with the separation between me and other people. One dream I haven’t talked about was one where I dreamt of the contents of an email I got, from the perspective of my coworker profusely apologizing for a paperwork issue we had. Thinking back even to almost two years ago, before I ever even knew where I’d be working, I met her indiscriminately. There was synchronicity I can identify now, since I met her twice within the span of a week. After that second time, I had a dream about her that I couldn’t understand, only for six months later, her to be the reason I was hired and the one I’ve been working closely with to this day. It feels as if the lines are, and have been bleeding on every level.
I’m curious of your perspective of people that frequently appear in dreams. Obviously on some level they represent a part of ourselves, but on some level, do you believe we’re really interacting with that other person? And then what of famous people? Surely they’re dealing with people either dreaming of or projecting their desires onto them. What kind of impact is that having on them? If I’m the subject of someone’s dream, obviously I’m influencing them, but in what way are they influencing me?
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The last time I was being led to some big revelation, I was in mild recon for an entire day. It felt almost full body, yet not strong enough to impact that day’s interactions. And then, all of a sudden, I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t fall back asleep. Then it just felt like reality itself shifted and I was a little freer. Nothing else different that I could recognize at the time, but I knew that something had changed. I theorized back then I could feel something related to invisible currents that were flowing. I later noticed that my freedom and ability to adapt to dreams had skyrocketed, on top of my results too. I believe now that it was me learning to adapt to dream’s logic, translating into me just being able to adapt to most “logic” in general. I have to take action in dreams, I don’t have time to ponder or think it over, and that started to bleed into real life. Slowly, but it’s gotten to the point where I trust myself so much more going into situations blind or without a plan, since I know I can adapt and improvise my way through them.
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My way of coping or deflecting is also a form of giving up power. “I have no control over this,” “Life just happens, there’s nothing I can do.” While I don’t know what the correct attitude I should have is, I have a feeling I’m still gonna feel a shift similar to last time where I won’t understand it in the moment, and it’ll slowly unfold. I’m just wondering what the next attitude will be, because what should I be saying to these things? We don’t always have the power to control everything, how should I feel about that? I can exert strong influence over my own personal reality, but what do I do once it leaves my bubble of strong influence?
I’m glad that helped !
Absolutely, recognizing an issue is the first and most essential step in getting through it, so since you can name it we can be sure you’ll get through it soon, come back on the other side more assertive and more powerful than ever before, having destroyed that limit 
!
I’ll share with you a piece of wisdom I read somewhere, if you’re ok with it,
When you assume the worst, you suffer in all cases, either once from the assumption, or twice when things do go bad.
When you assume that things will go well, well you only suffer if they do go bad!
In buddhism, we talk about Gautama’s two arrow analogy
The Buddha once asked his student, “If a person is struck by an arrow, is it painful?”
The student nodded, yes.
The Buddha then asked, “If a person is struck by a second arrow, is that even more painful?”
The student again nodded, yes.
The Buddha then explained, “In life, we cannot always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. The second arrow is optional.”
Pain is inevitable, but the suffering bought upon from our reaction to that pain, from us dwelling on it, is optional
A good thing, is that you did already realize yourself that this method is limiting ^^
Even though you get awesome results, an make a ton of progress at lighting speed ^^
You are very very right in that!!
And I’m very happy to hear of all the results you got, all that you’re able to see and understand through dreams, and all that you realize through Stark too ^^ This is great
From my perspective on famous people, having been close with multiple artists, DJs, musicians, singers, and even a scenarist, often they use an alter ego to alleviate some of the pressure.
Though, there’s an intense amount of pressure on them. To the point where they can physically feel the waves of energy from the public when they perform. Pressure even away from the scene sometimes, from the expectations projected onto them. I have yet to know a famous person that don’t take drugs, even those you wouldn’t expect like a pianist-singer. So I guess that’s how they deal with it.
For the last question, I have absolutely no idea lol, but my instinct tell me that you may be able to find out yourself?
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Just a quick response while I’m out but it’s something I don’t want to ignore. I feel like I’m being given a path, literally being offered to me. It’s one that’s full of confronting my fears and one that my body feels scared of. But it’s one that can give me everything I’ve ever wanted and more. I think it’s full of things that I’m averse to, at least unconsciously, but it holds a ton of things that feel precious to both my inner child and me now. The spotlight is one thing, and what I feel might be the biggest right now. Like everything I want is locked behind the door of me meeting myself, and truly being able to accept the future identity I’ve always wanted.
I don’t intend on using drugs to get through things, so I really do wonder what I’ll be using as my own protection. But to me right now, it just feels like my body is coming up with any excuse it can to execute the script without being fully seen. Being known is fine, talked about is fine, but for some reason just the thought of being “seen” itself is scary.
I also feel as if because I keep myself in that bubble, I’m not sure if I can truly feel the emotions of people I haven’t opened myself up to at some point. Maybe that’s something I’ll discover as I begin to accept my life outside that bubble
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Still contemplating where RoD and ASBR are leading me, but wanted to note something. In my listening to ASBR, a few weeks ago it felt as if things just started to click more. It had been about three months since I increased the build strength. When I first started, it felt like every loop was a riddle that would take days to unfold, understand, and make an attempt to solve. Now, it feels as if each loop is contributing to something greater, something tangible that I can somewhat understand. I wrote to support about being able to feel when the sub was processing pretty accurately and consistently. One loop would last for days, influencing a ton of my actions.
After I learned about the passing of someone I looked up to, I had played my second loop of the day in an “I don’t care what happens to me right now” kind of way. Other times when I did that, my dreams would immediately include riddles or sports I was outclassed in solving, leaving me waking up confused or exhausted. This time though, it felt as if something had clicked. The only reason (at least I believe) I got to meet this person was because of me listening to ASBR at release. The way it manifests meeting mentors and people in high places feels unmatched by even the updated Inner Circle. But coming to that realization, it’s almost like I felt an alignment to the script and who I was back then, and how I’ve evolved to now. I went to sleep that night, and instead of having another kind of overexposure dream, I fully processed one of the loops from the day, and got about halfway through the other. It’s another instance of me not knowing exactly what happened and me piecing together the clues after the fact, but I think that started some kind of subconscious opening up on a deep level. I’m more aligned with the archetype than I think I am, and I’m more open to change in that direction than I used to be.
I’ve been measuring both in dreams and in recon awareness since, and it genuinely does feel like each loop is processing in that ~24 hour period after, give or take depending on my quality of sleep. I just think this is interesting considering I don’t recall seeing the processing of a title getting faster being reported. The moment a loop plays now, it’s like there are multiple “dreams” ongoing in the back of my mind about its application. It’s really weird feeling how this sub originally went from one to only run with one other, to eventually feel like one that can be part of a normal stack. I also stacked it with Regeneration for about a month and a half (with Regen either immediately before or after so that they’d be processed/integrated together), which I believe helped with easing my mind into the deeper nature of it. I’m still trying to process that “click,” and I know my processing limit could’ve been considered abnormal even from the start, but I feel like there’s so much depth to that day I’m still trying to discover.
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I fell asleep while meditating on this, and somehow RoD’s processing started getting resolved. I don’t know exactly what it’s doing right now, but I think me getting distracted from something else gave it the chance it needed. The answer I came to now, regarding the spotlight, is just that it’s a tool that needs to be used or managed. It’s not the end goal, and it shouldn’t be. It is, however, super valuable and can lead to things I might not even be able to see right now. Overall, I feel more comfortable with it now.
I’ve also stuck with the same sub for almost two years at this point. Results come and go, even though I’ve always consistently seen really good ones, it’s this deep work that I think is resonating the most with me. Hopefully in the next few months I’m able to detail more of what’s happened, since I saw insane manifestations within days of when I started listening.
In general, I feel like the best point of action would be to just carry no assumptions, no? I feel like when I assume things will go well, I’m opening up a weakness for being unprepared if they don’t, and if I assume they don’t, then I could be projecting onto the situation. If I carry a neutral perspective onto these situations, but rather keep my inner world in alignment with what I want to happen, do you think that might work as well? Like instead of hoping that a specific opportunity works out, I completely remove myself from even being dependent or thinking about it more than necessary. Instead, it’s almost like a quote I saved from Malkuth before, about holding one part of a phrase, and letting reality fill in the rest. Not falling into toxic positivity is also something I’m trying to avoid, since I got burned bad by doing that a few times.
Plus, I think not holding particular expectations for something specific in reality also makes adapting to pain, or any circumstances, much more effortless.
I’m always fine with these. I feel like interacting and answering questions in journals is really beneficial, it gives you the chance to to communicate and voice things you originally wouldn’t have if it were just one person talking into the void.
To bring up one more cool idea a little more related to the beginning of this, another thing in support I talked about was my idea of parallel processing. Back when I first ran everything in the same build and was still getting used to ZP in general, it felt like things meshed and integrated together and there wasn’t as much of a distinction between the processing of each script as I thought people made it out to be. Now, it feels like things just integrate on different levels at the same time, and they intermingle and go their own ways as they please. Both RoD and ASBR were processing, but both on different levels. It took me contemplating and bringing my awareness away from one for it to settle, and then once that settled, the other naturally fell into place. I don’t know what really I can comment on right now, other than that this experience isn’t really rare and feels super common. Things don’t happen in isolation from each other. I’m just hoping by the time they make more experimental builds available, I’ll be at a high enough rank to be able to play around with them and see how they differ from the ones now.
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Found it. Hopefully that got formatted correctly.
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Well, since expectations lead to suffering when they fail us, this would be the best way.
I still have trouble having no expectations at all, hence why I default to expectations that things will go well
And yeah absolutely!
Also, thank you for this discussion, it also helps me to have another perspective on these viewpoints, and being given an opportunity to reflect on all of this, the workings of the mind, and how it applies within the world.
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I’m glad it’s helpful for both of us!
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I think I know what my next big action is. Everything is already picking up for next month but I think if I can get this last bit done, it should just enhance literally everything and even improve my quality of life. Other than that, it’s still just resting and letting the subs do inner work for these next two weeks. That’s honestly my favorite part about not immediately jumping to do things, I can let myself rest and grow as the things I prepared finally start to come to fruition. And once they’re finally out, I’m already months ahead in planning. This year is definitely gonna be something.
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Started Ascension Chamber again for the first time in over a year. I had a bad dream about something I wanted not working out, and the rest of my body was almost yelling at me about it. Then, it felt like I was drowning and I woke up shivering with my ears feeling unclogged as if I’d just come to the surface of water after being submerged. Kind of freaky and scary, but I know I’ll be fine even if I don’t necessarily know the meaning of it in the short term.
My two other dreams centered on me playing two different “games”, where I didn’t know how they worked or was missing a crucial rule from the start. Despite that, I was still playing decently well, enough for the other players to be wary of me and watching what I do so that I don’t suddenly surprise or upend them. The first dream ended with me finally getting told how the game mechanic worked, and I immediately improved to become one of the top players. The second one had my team at a pretty huge disadvantage, with less than half the time left. I finally had the rule explained to me, and I realized just how wrongly I was playing, but despite that still being decently targeted by other players. It very much ended in a “to be continued” manner even with a narrator summarizing all the events that happened. With that cliffhanger, I also was right about to fight one of the strongest opponents who had a genius plan from the start and lowkey cheats. I originally was going to try to run away without them noticing, but someone resembling Zelda was in their line of fire, and I essentially recreated one of the scenes from Breath of the Wild protecting her.
The interpretation of these feels a little obvious, but I guess I’m trying to identify what exactly this “game” could be and what the “rule” is that I’m missing in the waking world.
Edit: something making the interpretation even more obvious is that both of these dreams were part of the same “continuity.” It was the same me, and in the second one I even remember thinking how insane it was that the same kind of thing happened twice, and that I should be more mindful when learning “games.”
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Took direct action to prevent this event from happening. Not on my damn watch. I’m also learning how important selective information revealing (or with the right timing) is, it’s a WDB result despite it being with ASBR situations/goals. I really do think that the intermingling of a “stack” is so underutilized/not fully understood here. If I stack ASBR and WDB, WDB will help with ASBR’s goals, and ASBR will help with WDB’s goals, each giving their own flavor and helping the other to grow in its own unique way that it wouldn’t have on its own previously (or at least taken a LONG time).
I also figured out an interpretation of the first game dream, still trying to work out the second.
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Got a peek at the unexecuted ASBR scripting that’s being saved for when I’m back to my normal daily life, will probably take a pause on most listening for now. The my mind is already holding onto what it wants to work on, just waiting to fully execute it, so unless there’s something new or urgent I want to add I can just leave it as is. With the month I have lined up it’s definitely gonna start hitting hard. Probably gonna focus a bit more on WDB or go back to Regen for the next while, I want to feel good once I go back to everything.
The unexecuted stuff feels a lot like a kind of blueprint or plan in how they’ll be brought into my life. Like taking inventory and already knowing where all the items will go. There isn’t a lot of other stuff there, so I’m pretty sure it has to do with one of my theories before about how ZPQ “delays” execution and/or processing until there’s a suitable situation for it, vs everything else that processes and executes almost immediately for me.
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What if the same kind of rules applied to real life, and we were able to analyze our waking world in the same way we do our dream symbolism?
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I’m tired so this might be incoherent. But it’s genuinely felt like “dreams” themselves aren’t limited to being asleep. Daydreams are one thing, but even then, dreams themselves are kind of like symbolic processing of events/memories. So if we’re processing everything around us all the time, wouldn’t that mean we’re dreaming all the time? I can go inward almost like a meditative state at times and see how I processed some memory or event, and it feels like it as perspective jumps, non-linearity, details that are omitted/changed, etc. I’m feeling it now because I kept thinking I had a memory of someone always hugging one of my pillows whenever they were over, except this is the exact thing I do when I’m at one specific friend’s place. So, either the memory itself was encoded in reverse (which I doubt since I clearly can recall and correct it), or the replay/processing itself took place with different “rules.” I feel like this bit explains a lot of deja vu’s I’ve had if it’s like taking a 360 snapshot of a memory and twisting/playing with the perspective like a rubix cube.
I feel like the encoding itself was normal, but the processing/replay is always what’s changing. That could’ve been the behavior of a dream character that just got pulled from the real life memory, but then that signifies that the memory is getting processed again in a different way. Regardless, I know these real time processing dreams happen and I sometimes even engage with them. It’s almost like I get a bit of amnesia after though, similar to a real dream. And it feels a bit counterproductive to write down or note when it happens, since that itself would affect how that processing happens.
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How are you?
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In the moment? I actually found out on the first day of my finals week, at the same time that I had a paper due in an hour. I had to physically block anything else out of my mind and just keep going. Once it was submitted though, it was a little rough. I don’t like crying and I have a roommate, so it was mostly me trying to visit my emotions without triggering anything strong enough to make me break down. I’d already listened to my loop for that listening day, but it was almost like an inner part of me was just a child again, crying and completely breaking down. It was like he was just asking my subconscious for the strength to make it through the week, since it wasn’t like I could go easy on myself after that either. I’ve worked through overload before, so it was more just me wanting any way to feel strong or in power again. With how much I’ve gone through with the sub, it’s most definitely been a source of strength for me. Like going through the motions that have been ingrained in me to remember how much I’ve gotten through before, something like this is nothing. I notice that when it’s raw emotion that drives me to listen, the change is almost always immediate and profound.
A little after I came to the realization that the likely reason me and him crossed paths and he got to leave a strong impact on me, WAS because of me starting A Stark Black Reality. It hadn’t even been a full week by that point, but that was one of the many manifestations that week that convinced me that this was the path I wanted to be on. So a lot of that sadness got met with gratitude at the same time. Like “I only met him because I started to grow, the other versions of me didn’t have that privilege.” That gratitude helped me through the week (which I desperately needed considering how much more news I’d be getting). I woke up with the distinct feeling I got through the initial loop, with about half of that second one. I don’t know if that’s part of a quirk with how my processing limit works (that I’ve tried to make sense of with support) or if after a while, people just naturally are able to take on more.
Now, I feel more “normal,” whatever that means. I feel like this year has been the year of rapid growth for me, so I can never really say I’m the same person as I was two weeks ago. Despite this probably having been the worst month of the year in terms of events out of my control, I’m fine. I really do attribute it to my month+ run of Regeneration. There’s an inherent “This too shall pass” feeling with whatever I go through. As long as I’m alive, I refuse to stagnate or move backwards, so it’s impossible for me to NOT achieve my goals. I’m getting really close to a lot of them all at once, so I’m really excited to see what the new year brings.
Sorry this turned out long, I think writing everything out just turned things therapeutic a bit. It’s nice knowing people are reading every once in a while and it’s not just me talking into the void.
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I’m not a void, but I do get mistaken for an ai sometimes.
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