Entering the Villian Era

Journals - Major Programs
#32

So, being honest I’ve taken a lot of thought over your reply and I felt a whole bunch of emotions every time I reflected on it, hence why it’s taken some time to get back to you.

Those emotions have to do with me, not you because the truth is I was pissed - at myself for letting myself get into the mess I’m in but I’m also sorting it out myself so yeah.

Ultimately, it’ll be invest. Regardless of what I spin it, it’ll be invest.

I could spend some of the rent money to buy EoG (and that’s a risk for me), I could do the same on the food money that I actually don’t have to get it too. I’m barely eating as it is.

I could do many things to get it.

I was even going to, during this post, say I most definitely disagree with the way this comes across (even though I know your heart is in the right place and you’re trying to help) and in the end even changed from afford/invest to invest because it’s the truth, I’m choosing not to invest in it. For several reasons.

So to answer your question, even though I have, it’s invest.

But regardless, even if I did invest, I don’t have space for it in my stack.

I’m running two Khan Stages, I could drop one and I want to run EB because I know my lack of productivity level. I’d love to run EoG, but I also don’t necessarily want to add more dense to my subs.

So, what would you suggest I do? Invest and drop Khan Stage 1 and just continue to run it Khan Stage 2 and then repeat afterwards?

I’m all ears.

Edit, I mean run Stage 2 Khan and EB (when I get it)

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#33

Khan Stage 2 seems to be kicking in. I don’t know what it is but there seems to be a difference, a f it kind of difference where I’m not caring about certain things or people and going for it.

ZP V2 Stage 2 is so smooth too. When I used Khan before Stage 2 was struggle bus city, and recon hell. Now it just feels great to use. I’m grateful af.

3 Likes
#34

I just made a connection between your title and a book called Iron John?

Have you ever read the book?

It’s a book about male initiation and ritualized ascent into manhood, told through mythology… actually it’s the retelling of a 1000+ year old story retold through the ages.

Anyways, one of the most potent pieces of symbolism is when the boy (later King) wounds himself.

He only wounded himself going for something great, symbology for us wounding ourselves the first time we really expose ourselves to the world fully and with an open heart… but without the wisdom of past pain to know to protect ourselves simultaneously.

And his wound radiated light. Gold. Pure golden rays shined right out of his wound.

If there was no wound, where would the light enter into our souls from? And how would we show that light? It needs a way in and out, and our wounds are that channel.

In ancient times everywhere, men and women alike have used their wounds to showcase the breadth and depth of their experiences, the good, and the bad. Some wounds are from mistakes made and learned from. Some wounds are from victories had. But wounds are where the light shines through.

Check out Iron John by Robert Bly for more

4 Likes
#35

I said I was watching Elite the new season and it reminded me of a time that you use to watch it aha I don’t know why.

#36

Ohhhhh, I just caught up with the 6th season. Love Elite.

#37

I had never heard of it until I saw your post about it. I’ll look into it. It sounds super interesting.

I only created my title based on how I felt and how my life should be so this is super interesting to hear.

Also. I have EoG now, I don’t have Emperor Black yet.

1 Like
#38

I haven’t kept up with my journalling as of late but I have still been on my journey.

I finished cycle 2 of Khan Stage 1 so for now I’m dropping it for a while whilst I begin cycle 2 of Khan Stage 2 and EoG Stage 1. I’m dropping the former in favour of only running two stages rather than 3 in total. I’l come back to the healing eventually, it’s a necessity.

Anyway, I’ve noticed more confidence in myself and more self belief. During my healing stage I was getting things coming up such as anxiety, especially during dance performances, and Stage 2 is allowing me to fight back on that.

Rather than do what most do and just accept it, not necessarily embrace but accept because they don’t know better/feel helpless already, I’ve started affirming the opposite of whatever that anxiety or problem is telling me and I’m pushing towards my solutions without taking no for an answer. I’m not letting things stop me anymore.

Ultimately this is just a mental diet. It’s not ‘being positive’ all the time as that to me tends to mean a suppression of emotion however what I’m doing seems to be persistent in against what is shown or told to me using the mental strength I seem to be gaining from Khan.

I’m also able to say no easier. Something I always struggled with prior. Something I don’t want to do? No. I’m not doing it. Not anymore. Not people pleasing.

I’ve also been able to post on social media with Khan more now. I’m letting go of what people think about me. I can’t say the thoughts are completely gone because they aren’t but I’m posting regardless. The world can see me shine whilst the haters and those who think they know more about my life than I do can watch me soar.

It’s been magical so far and so much easier to run. Especially in comparison to Khan when I ran it in 2020 (I believe?). Recon city that. Especially Stage 2. I’ve barely had any recon if any, at least it isn’t noticeable.

I’ve also started to reinvent myself. I’m changing my style up, something that normally happens when I have a new sub such as Stark, Emperor or WANTED. I’m letting my hair grow out longer and seeing what I can do with it to enhance my looks. I’ve always let my hair be quiet short, for me, and unstyled because I didn’t ‘fit’ in but who cares about that now?

I’ve also started getting tattoos. I got a tattoo today (they were a gift on a voucher) and I’m starting to grow into a new style, the real style of what I want to wear regardless of what people think. I’m happy with it.

Just these little things are noticeable so far. There’s definitely more but either haven’t noticed or can’t remember however…continuing my journey on Khan. I think I’m going to stay on Stage 2 for another cycle after this one. I’m on cycle 3 of my Khan journey so far so I’m happy.

EoG I can’t speak much about but I know it’s working on my beliefs, along with my mental diet. Like I said, I’ll probably be sticking to Stage 1 for a while, I’ve got some things to work on with it. However I know it’s going to be just as transformational as Khan will be and currently is.

8 Likes
#39

Following the Bible of Friday and Simon and decided to move onto to Khan Stage 4 last night whilst intending on running EoG for a while still. I intend on sticking with these two (especially K4) for a long time. I’m actually planning to interchange K4 and K1 several times but hold onto it for a year or longer. Same will go for EoG but I’ll be holding onto Stage 1 for a longer period of time.

Also as a note, I’ve done Stage 1, 2 and 3 of Khan before. I did Stage 4 for about 2 weeks in Q days before moving on. Stage 4 will be staying in my stack idc. Non-negotiable.

Had quite a few little changes happen which I’ll speak upon soon. Definitely down to using Khan

Also slightly updating my manifestation custom.

Will be changing it to RoM instead of Minds Eye along with AsC.

Need to work on the modules I need to change around but here’s the list from before:

CORES:

AsC
Minds Eye

MODULES:

Remembrance
Ebon Maneuver
Jupiter
Yggdrasil
Untouchable
Mountain Breaker
Current Invoker
Divine Will
Tyrant
Divine Self Image
Dominion
Mosaic
Inner Voice
Negativity Displacer
Natural Winner
Omnidimensional
Faith Unyielding
Unlimiter

Most of these will be staying but RoM, an energy module, Void of Creation and possibly something else will be added so I need to find some things to remove.

Mastering manifestation is my goal, and certain modules such as Rememberance, Ebon Maneuver, Untouchable and Mountain Breaker are non-negotiable for removing since some of these are protection for my old story I posted at the beginning of this thread.

Suggestions for removal of other modules would be helpful if people want to participate.

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#40

I would encourage you to run RoM as separate for now. I think it’s still being worked on.

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#41

:point_up:

:point_down:

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#42

Thanks for letting me know, I saw this but hadn’t thought about it. Gah.

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#43

Damn. I haven’t posted for a whiiiilleee.

I just haven’t felt the need however the new title of the thread is exactly how I’m feeling and that is exactly what I’ll be doing, with a change in subs (yeah, I’m droppin’ stuff) because part of my focus has changed and upon good advice from some experienced users it makes sense.

I’ll be droppin’ Khan in place of Emperor whilst still keeping EoG so I can work more on wealth. Khan built upon the alpha concept I want, which I’m sure Emperor will also, but certain things just weren’t gelling, such as productivity and stuff which I felt a lack of (I’m aware of missing Stage 3 of Khan and heading to Stage 4).

I want to focus more on productivity, especially with dance and building a business outside of dance. My initial focus is still there, to become an alpha and become stronger in myself, etc - exactly what Khan has offered, but I need a different look into it.

Emperor will gel a lot more on the wealth side too with EoG plus probably won’t be as dense as Khan is. Many other reasons beyond that also.

Anyhow.

People have painted me as the Villian so let’s be become one.

Let’s Enter my Villian Era.

An utter transformation on the right path.

I’ll expand on more of this later, but these two pictures are how I feel and how my year of 2023 is going to be:

image

image
image736×1056 108 KB

6 Likes
#44

Nah. Emperor gave me exactly what I needed in productivity.

I had a meeting at 10am (I’m not necessarily a morning person) and ran off 4 hours or less sleep. Went to the meeting pretty joyful regardless and it was a good one.

Ran Emperor and immediately started working and choreographing a new piece which needs editing but I’m happy with! Choreographing is starting to become fun for me again which is a big W.

Taught my class and had a bunch of people (thank you EoG???) so I made money which will help with rent and also general surviving haha.

Came home and started already editing the video for my class of my solo. Will be posting probably sometime this week as I have other videos to edit too.

Felt quite productive doing little errands in between and working on stuff. Editing normally takes me a couple days to get to but as soon as I got home from class I got straight to it.

Also I kind of stood my ground with someone who needs to pay me, I’m normally nice and let people pay for things when they want as I don’t want to alienate but I told her exactly what I needed and how much etc as it was a conversation I was worried about however I said what I needed to and I’m proud I let it happen.

This is my first time using V2 of Emperor ZP and it’s kicking me right where I need it to.

7 Likes
#45

Love this idea of embracing your inner villain

2 Likes
#46

I’m glad you like it honestly.

I was even nervous about posting and updating my thread because I knew I had made a commitment to Khan and that you in particular had eyed the thread so I didn’t want to let anyone down but at the same time Khan just isn’t the plan anymore and Emperor already feels a better fit.

I’ve already felt more confident, dominant and most definitely productive even in less than 24 hours on Emperor.

2 videos already edited, they don’t take long but I’ve literally procrasinated on editing one of them for a week.

There’s one video of a friend I haven’t edited for THREE WEEKS and that I want to do now but I’m gonna need to sleep. It’ll be done in the morning tho.

3 Likes
#47

Woahhhh I haven’t posted in my journal for over a month.

There’s a reason to my absence and that is success.

I’ve been busy working on my class, my choreography and all that jazz. I’m getting more people coming to classes and I’m promoting A LOT. If you’re friends with me on instagram you probably see me promote my class nearly every day since Saturdays/Sundays.

I’ve been getting editing and all that done too so I’m super proud of myself.

I also raised the prices of my class by £2. Doesn’t sound like a lot but it’s now £10 per class so I’m making around £100 per class or more. Normally a lot more. People love giving me money and I’m not gonna complain about it.

People are respecting me, as they should. I’m glad Emperor has given me the respect I needed for me and from other people too. I’m also talking in a more positive light and being more in demand with myself and others.

Everything is just working out in my favour, as it should be - my favourite motto too.

The only thing that I want to work on is my limiting beliefs toward my kink and how it’s viewed by myself and others. Besides that, everything is going wonderfully.

Oh, I’ve also been given an opportunity to teach another weekly class at a new studio & also someone randomly asked me to cover their class so that’s even more money.

I’m doing great tbh.

10 Likes
#48

So I haven’t journaled in over a month. I’ve been pretty busy to be honest.

I’m here on the Forums every day but mainly looking over stuff rather than posting as I’m focusing more on my classes, working out and whatever else I need to do.

Keeping things short.

Currently my stack is Paragon and EoG.

Had to choose Paragon because my knee got injured two weeks ago and I’m working on rehabbing it since dance is my one and only career choice - that I want and I’m passionate about.

After adding Paragon to my EoG stack I realised I wanted to make a stack that benefits me entirely - physically, financially and spiritually. Unfortunately Paragon won’t be in my stack as the healing will take over - which is fine but I’m mainly using it for my knee/rehabbing time - so ultimately will end up making a Apex Spartan/Legacy of the Spartan custom in the future. This will be my physical/fitness portion.

EoG continue to in my stack - it’s my ultimate success sub. Talking about success - this week I had my biggest and most successful class to date in a while. One of - if not my favourite classes of my life that I’ve ever taught. I’m so proud of myself. I literally created something people loved and I truly put it down to EoG being the success sub I needed/wanted. People have been telling me they’re constantly going over the choreo and that they love the choreography and can’t wait until I reteach it. It’s people’s favourite. This will most definitely be my success/financial portion of my stack.

So I’m hoping to get Revelation of Spirit - as I’ve been reading the thread recently - very closely - and am seeing incredible results. Saint saying that you won’t need AsC if you’re using RoS has me very curious about things that I could manifest - we all know I’m into this by now so I’m incredibly intrigued and hoping to use it v soon.

I’m still having successes and will continue to do so. I just know it.

I’m in my winner era.

P.s. it’s all mindset.

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#49

Glad to hear you are doing well.

On a side note, the name changes on this forum are really annoying xD

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#50

I’m doing great dude, how are you doing?

I’m sorry haha, I changed my name on everything - every social and whatever else to this but with my name on the end.

It was kind of like a rebirth for me. Sorry man :sob:

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#51

Was using Khan Stage 4 & EoG Stage 3. Had some pretty great results but taking one/two cycle(s) off to run Genesis as I know there’s more than just what I’m doing now, I just don’t know what so I’m hoping Genesis helps me find the purpose I’m looking for :slight_smile:

Got hit on A LOT recently during my Khan run in the past couple weeks.

Last week I went to go meet a guy from Grindr (not a hook up, never a hook up) and when I went to go meet him I went to Aldi and helped this guy in the queue, left Aldi and this guy FOLLOWED ME IN HIS CAR to near the guys house I was going to and hit on me…like…so forward saying things like

‘I like the look of you’ ‘you’ve got great muscles’ ‘what’s your number’ ‘what you doin’ tonight?’ ‘You busy?’ Etc.

Not my type and so sleezy with it, but definitely a manifestation lmao. Not the only guy to hit on me, just the one that was so forward with it.

Anyway, time for Genesis.

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