I decided that I’ll be starting my rest days today in lieu of everything I’ve been going through emotionally.
Is something in fucking retrograde?!
But yeah, imma day a three day off period rather than two. I feel as if I need to let things assimilate.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.almanac.com/content/mercury-retrograde-dates%3Famp
Well, that explains it. My Mercury is in Scorpio.
The physical shifting of Wanted appears to be working on my thighs as my thighs have been sore from a workout that I did days ago at physical therapy. They’re hard and feel fuller than before, as well my buttocks (according to mah gurl)
I also feel as if Wanted is focusing on my biceps and shoulders as I constantly feel a feeling of strength and power in my stance, though I’m not working out like that.
Now that physical therapy is over, I’m going to be taking advantage of my girl’s gym membership and taking action in that sense.
I feel as if the gym is the perfect place for one to take action on Wanted, and it’ll probably be useful for my custom in some way too.
Actually, it’ll go perfectly with Eye of the Storm in SoL.
A process that is helping me to deal with my current reconciliation is talking out what I am feeling.
For example, when I was outside, I saw a pretty lady walking her kid to the car. I checked her out and then went back to what I was doing.
Her little girl saw me there and I gave her a little wave. Her mom noticed me and I instantly got a fear that she would think I was a creep, perving on her daughter or her. I started to have a bit of a panic attack wondering if I should go inside or if I should stay so that it didn’t look like I came outside just because I saw them.
I stood there and thought out everything I just said in order to allow my feelings to express and felt immediate release of tension.
Very powerful.
I wanted to thank you over here and avoid derailing the Wanted thread, but this is awesome @DragonLord. Whether I use it on my body or not I can’t say yet, but I’m definitely using it in some fashion.
Thanks again, it meant a lot to see this.
In fact, I like the photo @DragonLord edited for me, the only thing throwing me is the thinnesses (I took a gamble that that was a real word and lo and behold) of the water line compared to the rest of the lines 
So far, today feels better. The need to break down randomly seems to have mostly receded. I have been definitely going through recon.
I’m not sure how, but Wanted is working on my teeth and combating caffeine/tobacco stains. They’ve never been horrible, but they made me uncomfortable.
I don’t brush my teeth as often as I should, but somehow, just the minor increase I’ve made lately in taking care of it seems to have an impact.
I’m not claiming a huge change and that my teeth are like ivory now, but I see a difference I think because I wasn’t looking for it.
It occurrs to me that Wanted is probably causing me to accept myself, my decisions, my beliefs, etc… More and more.
I am going to paste what it says on the sales page as I don’t recall word for word:
A true trickster, one of a kind rogue and definitely not a glistening hero, a WANTED man always contains paradox in his being. He is not afraid to be truly human – he embraces his human nature, his imperfections, the mysteries and flaws of human existence while striving towards excellence every step of the way… his way.
Many of the most WANTED men in history were not perfect men – they were complex individuals filled with numerous feelings and authentic love towards experiences that shape humanity. They had that certain X factor, the unending layers of personality that draw you in and call you to explore. You will make use of all emotions that you have in such a way that makes you attractive and authentic – but not letting them overtake your being and instead pushing you towards becoming more and more powerful and evolved whilst retaining the intensely deep, attractive depth of being that mesmerizes others.
This.
Firstly, the bit behind that “Summary” needs to go behind a paywall. Not because it’s explicit, but because it’s an educational tutorial.
Secondly, this (the whole thing not just the sex bit) is yet another experience from someone these days that’s really making me think about how all of this works, and particularly how it works with Qv2. It’s like we’re seeing and feeling the growth and change process in a clearer and more granular way. It’s literally walking us from point A to point B. And we are actually experiencing all of those points in between.
If you have any interesting insights/experiences around doing the chakra work in the next period of time, please feel free to share.
I intended to and funny enough, two days ago I was considering PM’ing you to ask you for advice with the two ‘lowest’ chakras, but my mentor’s words echoed in my head…
“Why don’t you just fucking Google it?”
So I did 
I feel as if the chakras affect our ability to process these scripts. When I first joined, I saw threads scorning the idea, but, I mean… If you know, you know right?
Lmao, my heart dropped when I was reading the first few words and I thought I might have gone too far with my descriptions xD thanks for your input my guy.
And I bet that you could just Google your higher self as well. Lot of wisdom in there.
The scorn sometimes comes from people not having an acceptable framework for connecting with a given idea. Popular culture is also partly the cause, I think. Makes it all seem like some kind of Jedi thing or something. I can’t blame anyone for thinking, 'You believe in that?"
oh, not at all. I was also hoping that it would not come across that way. On the contrary, I was literally thinking, 'take notes, all ye who know not this art!" (i.e., myself) hahaha. The most amazing part was that
In the time when you were feeling the most sensitive, that was the same time when you did not cum.
But beyond that, the mutual aspect of it. There was some kind of alignment going on between both of you. Seems possibly related to the subliminals and personal development too somehow.
I’ve been experiencing (now and in the past) something like that too. Not with sex, but with more general circumstances. Where I’m seeing echoes and reflections between the inner and outer experience, or between my experience and someone else’s.
Sometimes @Hermit talks about this kind of thing (‘egregores’ and so on ).
Anyway, thanks again for sharing your wisdom and process.
This. If I could put it better, I wouldn’t because, this.
P.S. The sarcasm made me giggle, no shame.
Sometimes, in the beginning of my journey, I would pester him with questions that I probably should have figured out on my own, such as my past lives, or if I was this particular famous religious figure in another life cuz of reasons, or other inane questions I’m sure teachers receive all of the time.
He also told me on more than one occasion back when I was DEEP in the shit that everything I asked him, I already had the answer to and ya know, he was right. I always, always have figured out things just by asking him questions and figuring it out just as fast as I answered.
I have a bit of fear towards deeper ‘spirituality’ due to the usual; being ostracized by family… Well, guess that’s it 
.
Allegedly in a past life, I was excommunicated in a very similar way to what occurred in the past recent decade, and learning that helped. I personally learned to accept his very eccentric nature as he never once accepted the name of teacher or mentor from me, just a dear friend who cares more for me than I’ve mostly appreciated. Great guy, just… Eccentric lol.
The sense of connection between my girlfriend and I is something I’ve never experienced with any other woman. I’m a bit skeptical of twin souls, but I do believe in the generic version of soul mates; people that are meant to be in your life for a moment, a time, a season or whatever their purpose is to either teach us something, finalize a lesson, assuage karma (I’m sure you know wtf it is Malkuth, just for any future readers 
)
I mentioned the part above what I quoted for this part. Subliminals have MASSIVELY accentuated what was already there, a deep, undefinable connection that neither of us can or want to escape anymore. As you know, one swing of the pendulum in one direction implies a swing with equal force in the opposite (lest one can properly polarize, shout out to Hermes Trismegestus/Thoth/Melchizedek) and I need to work on that.
Ah yes. Egregores. Perhaps you remember, I was asking about Servitors a… Bit (cuz idk how long it’s been) ago, and you replied your intuition told you I would be successful?
I was. Forgot to journal it. Egregores are a very interesting and very deep topic of fascination for me. It’s funny you mention Hermit as well cuz last night as I was falling asleep, I was wondering exactly what/how the SC egregore is like and how each of us contributes to it’s growth and development. I wonder if just us existing here now, talking about subs contributes to SC’s general success…
I didn’t actually add the period to this part, so to speak, got distracted. I’ve got to make sure that the intensely great times don’t (Law of Rhythm) into the opposite spectrum. Love hard, fight hard.
June 6th, 2016
Decided to change the date format to throw future me reading through this
Today is my third rest day. It was difficult to not rationalize and play just a loop yesterday, but I stuck to my goal and I’m glad I did.
My head is soo much more clear without the infamous pressure I find it difficult to explain being present, it’s nice. I feel light and smooth with just a bit of a hint of processing continuing.
Though recon sucks, I am glad I experienced it recently because now I can absolutely feel what is recon, what’s an energy draw from Wanted, recon differences between SoL and Wanted.
In other news, I’ve sort of strayed away from the idea of having two customs, unless one be an Ultima. My reasoning is, name embedded mains should become a thing at some point in the hopefully near future, which I’ve been eager for since before I decided to get a custom.
I find it difficult to focus at times when I am meditating or doing breath work and when I am attaining focus, my head will sometimes sporadically jerk or parts of my body will convulse. I generally sense it coming, which also throws my concentration. This has happened for a long time and the only answers I’ve found is that my body is attempting to release tension, but…I would tink dat ting might release fasta, boi. Thoughts @Hermit y @Malkuth?
Ever since my last post that my guy Malkuth mentioned last night, my desire to view porn is at a solid -1, which is great. I’m going to be going to the gym again, most likely starting tomorrow, but I’ll have to figure it out between my lady and I.
Things are looking up. I’m going to be able to work again soon, and I’ve already gotten positions lined up. I’m going to go with the more convenient company first while I get comfortable back in the saddle.
For anyone that doesn’t recall/know, I’m a truck driver and I’ve been off a ridiculously long amount of time healing from a work injury. The injury was auspicious in that it has helped me have a relationship with my son that I wouldn’t have otherwise, it probably saved my relationship with my girlfriend in the sense we’ve connected more than ever before, fought and grown and learned from these arguments, I got a much needed rest from going hard in the saddle for a year straight… All while getting workman’s comp checks.
I think it’s dope, too.
Like I mentioned a few posts ago, I will be working again and therefore the tone and frequency of my posting will be shifting hopefully in the right direction.
Oh! Shit! Imma have to remember to come back and post the story of the Pillow Princess’s Peril.
Issa doozy my guy
I’d take that as a good sign. You’re doing well. Just give your conscious mind the knowledge that these movements are a good thing and a sign that you’re moving deeper into a flow of relaxation and unity. Let it trust that your mind body system is doing exactly what it needs to do to conduct energy smoothly through your system and to dissolve and release energy blocks. Congratulate and prize your system moreover for having the ability to do this while you’re still awake. That’s a skill not a problem.
I’m wondering if what happened with your gf and you was a partial results of WANTED and perhaps Diamond.
Thanks for posting!
