I’m considering a Spartan/Limitless/(???) Qv2 Custom for exactly that. Ultima, potentially. That would be a decent idea.
Inconsistent, in terms of the number of loops. Anywhere from 2-3x a day not including rest days. Which, tomorrow marks my first one 
I am going to be cutting down to one loop a day with each as I have gone against my normal routine since I got my custom and started with two loops.
I do feel as if I am experiencing overload between those loops and the single loop of R.I.C.H yesterday and today.
1 loop a day might be better.
When you get a list of things to put in your Ultima to help you kick out porn, please post.
I do believe it is reconciliation that is causing this, but in my offline journal I took note of the fact that whenever I play something in ultrasonic, I have doubts pop up that ultrasonic works.
I’ve also been experiencing doubts that my custom in particular works.
Yesterday was my second rest day so now I am playing my custom in ultrasonic. This week, I’m going to be lowering the loops as well as increasing the time between loops. I’m going to listen to another loop tonight.
More later.
I’m wondering if this urge to listen to more than one loop might not just be reconciliation, so I’m going to keep my playlist to one loop this week to see how I fare.
Today I woke up with a clear mind and not in a bad mood, and with the rest days, I’m now sure that I was playing them too often and building up a queue in my head, cause that’s what it felt like. So yes, one loop per title per day until next Monday.
@RVconsultant I will probably remove Eye of the Storm from my custom and put Stop Porn and Masturbation. I got the Eye because I wanted it to be more general purpose in breaking bad habits such as smoking, PMO, obsessiveness, etc etc, but I haven’t seen much use from that module at all, honestly. Perhaps Stronger would have been a good choice.
In fact, over the past two days, I’ve been running options in the back of my head with my custom. It strikes me that with the release of Wanted, I could replace Ascended Mogul in my custom, leaving Primal, Inner Circle and Wanted as my cores, remove the wealth modules that I have in there and place Stop Porn, Inner Gasoline, and either result enhancements or something else in there to replace them. And then, create either an Ascended Mogul custom or an Emperor custom for very long term use.
My girlfriend complimented me yesterday out of nowhere. This, in and of itself isn’t impressive.
A sort of accurate rendition of the convo
She was saying something unrelated, I’m on my phone but listening and she trails off and says,
“Babe you’re so sexy.”
I smiled and asked her why she felt the need to say that and she started to gush about how big I am, how she likes my shoulders, my size (I’m like 6’4) and my belly as she likes my dad bod.
Besides physical therapy, I haven’t been doing any kind of workouts or anything like that so I’m attributing this to Wanted
I did read what you wrote about Eye of the Storm.
I still would encourage you to consider stacking the deck in your favor as much as possible:
Eye of the Storm
Stop Porn and Masturbation
Stronger
Inner Gasoline
I agree with you on that. An Ultima may be the best option, perhaps A DIAMOND core with the 4 you just mentioned and Regeneration?
I know next to nothing of building Ultimas, what do you think?
Alan Walker is one of the people I discovered on my path that has changed my life. I hope this helps someone.
Here is are some ideas:
Diamond
Sex Mastery
Eye of the Storm
Stop Porn and Masturbation
Stronger
Inner Gasoline
Now the potential disadvantage to that is you might get more horny.
So the other option would be:
Eye of the Storm
Stop Porn and Masturbation
Stronger
Inner Gasoline
This would be solely focused on ending the PMO pattern. This I think would be the “safer” approach. More focused on ending unwanted habits, whereas the first one is on ending unwanted habits and increasing sexual performance (2 goals rather than 1 goal).
Also instead of thinking about it as “an urge to look at porn”, how about think about it as “an urge to have sex”? I’m guessing your gf is willing to have sex with you when you want, is that correct?
If she’s at work, perhaps if she can’t come home and have sex with you, how about messaging her with something like “I so want to fuck you right now” when you have an urge.
What are your thoughts?
In my inner work, I’ve come to the realization that it isn’t that I like porn, because I honestly don’t.
I just have allowed my liking of sex to be warped to a perverse representation of a natural libido. Luckily for me, I haven’t experienced the slide that a lot do into the more fucked porn out there, I actually prefer amateur. I just haven’t exercised my ability to tell myself no and do other things as much.
Granted, it wouldn’t be happening hardly at all if I wasn’t at home and I was working. That will change here soon when I’m released to go back, so that’s something for me to consider.
Excluding Sex Mastery, this is the ultima I was considering but, I like
That one better for pure healing focus. I already own DIAMOND as a main title and besides, it wouldn’t be too much to add it into the custom later on so.
You’ve given me things to consider, thank you.
I seem to be going through a period where old vices like smoking weed and tobacco and pornography are temptations again. I wonder if this has to do with things being Purified and coming up to be processed and released or if tobacco and the other are even really what I want. Maybe it’s another urge or desire or perhaps something else coming up that I’ve associated over the years with weed and porn.
Like I was telling rvconsultant the other day, I don’t even think it’s pornography that I even desire, but something I associate with pornography.
I’ve already realized last night that my sacral chakra is sorely out of balance and I think this contributes to my lower back tension and pain. I’m going to be looking into working with my chakras in my personal work.
Useful reminder for later. Looking at just this, I definitely was going through recon last week.
I’m considering two different playlists.
Day 1-5
Wanted x SoL 1 loop each day, 2 days off.
Day 1 SoL x1
Day 2 Wanted x1
Day 3 Sol x1
Day 4 Wanted x1
Day 5 Wanted x SoL
I’m favoring the second option as it gives me room to throw in Regeneration, Rebirth or, when I get my Senny HD280 fixed, R.I.C.H.
The second option also depresses the part of me that seems to still think I need to play more than one loop to get results.
WHICH IS CRAZY TO ME that I feel like this, because I was running one loop of everything with Q for a bit there and perfectly happy.
Weird…
So yeah, next play cycle, I’ll be going with playlist option two.
06/04/21
So, the past couple of days, I’ve been going through it emotionally. It started with a fight between my lady and I that should have never happened, but we’re both grateful happened because soooo much shit came out from both of us in the aftermath that the other one needed to hear. We both benefited from it.
On a temporary tangent, we also had sex that day and I can only describe it as electric.
When I first entered her, she was just Beginning to get wet. I mention this only because though she was just Beginning to get into the Excitement part of the sexual cycle, her responses to me simply going were almost dramatic.
For whatever reason, both of us were HELLA sensitive and I could only get a few strokes here and there for a few minutes, even BEFORE she was wet.
Once she got slimey??
Bruh.
Pump, pump, jump back and breath head ass
But yeah, I was sensitive as fuuuuck and I had to wait about ten minutes before I could really lay into her. Her and I were feeling the same thing, cuz when I had to stop cuz of intense sensations, she was gasping with a scrunched up face that I know well.
She was on the edge of orgasm, over and over and every time she was getting close to orgasm, I could feel it and it affected me too.
I’ve experienced this before with her but never this intensely.
Finally, I managed to get an easy rhythm that I wasn’t even going to keep up long but her eyes fucking shot open big, her head started to jerk up towards me with her lips pursed and she said don’t stop that you’re gonna make me cum
And stopped on her 
I kept on doing this for about 5 more minutes which started aggravating her and turning her on more. Finally, I kept the same pace and just watched for her reaction. She came soooo fucking hard and long and I never once broke my pace. That was a really drawn out orgasm, now that I think of it
I did not cum in this sex session, but I can say that was in my top 3 sex moments easily.
After we had sex, I was so contented and euphoric. The energy between her and I has been better ever since and, for whatever reason, my desire for sex since has been neutral.
But that day before and after the sex, I was being bombarded with the need to sob. I cried about the beginning of our relationship and how she hurt me and realized that I had actually changed from who I was to a hurt person who hurts people. And that’s why I ended up hurting her far worse down the line, cuz I never ever revisited that pain.
Having done so, I’ve cried over Alvin and the Chipmunks songs from the movies, and other things that I suspect is coming from the fact that I did a very short and simple rendition of embracing my inner child thanks to a post by @Sub.Zero. My chest feels as if there’s something clogging it which tells me I’ve neglected some of my practices for way too long, such as working with my chakras.
But yeah, I would be just sitting normally and just be beset by the need to weep hard as shit for ten seconds and then it would pass. This happened in like thirty minutes increments (very annoying shit lemme tell ya) to the point I started getting a damn headache. I was trying to embrace the process as much as possible but it wasn’t easy.
More later.
Oh, the other day, my orthopedic doctor released me to full duty again, so the tone of my journals will finally be shifting to a bit more action.
I decided that I’ll be starting my rest days today in lieu of everything I’ve been going through emotionally.
Is something in fucking retrograde?!
But yeah, imma day a three day off period rather than two. I feel as if I need to let things assimilate.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.almanac.com/content/mercury-retrograde-dates%3Famp
Well, that explains it. My Mercury is in Scorpio.
The physical shifting of Wanted appears to be working on my thighs as my thighs have been sore from a workout that I did days ago at physical therapy. They’re hard and feel fuller than before, as well my buttocks (according to mah gurl)
I also feel as if Wanted is focusing on my biceps and shoulders as I constantly feel a feeling of strength and power in my stance, though I’m not working out like that.
Now that physical therapy is over, I’m going to be taking advantage of my girl’s gym membership and taking action in that sense.
I feel as if the gym is the perfect place for one to take action on Wanted, and it’ll probably be useful for my custom in some way too.