Happy Birthday, wonderful woman!
You carry strength in your eyes,
passion in your heart,
and joy in your smile.
Enjoy time in nature!!
Also, @Parsifal sends his warmest wishes too! 
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Happy birthday 
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Embracing the Next Level: My New Stack
Today, I begin a new chapter with a carefully chosen stack: A Stark Black Reality (SB), Seductress, and Paragon.
This isn’t just about adding more subliminals, it’s about deepening the embodiment of who I already am. SB sharpens my focus and amplifies my presence, reinforcing the grounded strength I’ve built. Seductress awakens my feminine magnetism, helping me lead with grace and power. Paragon supports my well-being, keeping me resilient and balanced as I move forward.
This stack reflects my commitment to wholeness. It’s not about picking sides, it’s about harmonizing all parts of myself to create a strong, authentic presence. I’m not seeking validation, I’m affirming my worth and stepping fully into who I am.
Edit: I took a long enough break from SB & feel ready again!
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tres belle!
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Day 2 ~ rest day
I listened to SB solo yesterday for a full loop.
I feel like it cracked me open in ways I haven’t experienced before. It was quite revealing.
I had some more vulnerable parts present within me that have felt exiled since a young age. The ones that felt like too much, misunderstood, odd, something wrong with them, etc.
I gave them so much love. I shifted into total bad ass mode, feeling energy pouring through all of me.
I am becoming more embodied as the bad ass leader I was always meant to be.
I had so many layers of protection trying to keep me safe, playing it small. Avoiding the discomfort of others disapproval by masking. No thank you!
I am a way shower. I know and speak the truth. I am powerful. I have a lot to say, a lot to express, a lot to share. I wont die with the music still in me.
This time of my life has been very transformative and continues to be as such.
I take moments of conflict and turn them into opportunities. I make content. I share from experience. I teach from that frame. 
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Things have really been coming together wonderfully for me.
I went deeper into some of my parts relating to sex and intimacy.
I’ve been opening up with the person I am seeing. We are really connecting deeply. Uncomfortable conversations bringing mutual understanding and more closeness. 🥹
It feels like I am becoming more confident with my body.
Paragon is helping me with my hypertonic pelvic floor. I’ve come along way, did pelvic physio for years. I understand the root cause and Seductress is helping with that too.
Feels good to be held without having pain down there.
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When someone hurt me, betrayed me, or left me feeling dismissed, I used to speak up. A lot. I’d write long texts, bring up hard conversations, try to explain how I felt—over and over.
I did this with people I cared about. In relationships, with friends, with family. It was never about picking a fight. I wanted to fix the distance, rebuild trust, and make things better. I believed that if I could express myself clearly, we could understand each other, because closeness and connection mattered to me.
I’d say what was bothering me, where I felt hurt, what I needed. I wasn’t asking for anything wild—just some effort, some care, some honesty. I thought if I explained it clearly enough, we could work through it.
But every time I spoke up, it felt like running into a wall. I was told I was overreacting, too sensitive, reading into things too much. Instead of being heard, I’d get silence, blame, or a complete shift that made it seem like I was the problem. I’d walk away feeling heavy, like I caused damage just by asking for clarity or honesty. And somehow, I was always the one trying to clean things up—even when all I wanted was to fix it together.
So, I stopped. I got quiet. I kept things to myself. I acted like it didn’t bother me when it absolutely did.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want connection—I did. Deeply. But I learned that speaking up didn’t lead to closeness. It led to me feeling misunderstood, dismissed, or worse, blamed. And no matter how much I loved them, love alone wasn’t fixing what they refused to face.
Now I’m done begging to be understood. Done stretching myself thin just to be halfway met.
From now on, I’m choosing honesty over guessing games. I want people around me who say what they mean, who listen when it matters, and who don’t make me feel wrong for being real. I’m showing up with truth, and I want that in return.
No more walking on eggshells, no more hiding how I feel just to avoid conflict. I want relationships where I can speak freely and still feel safe. If being honest makes things uncomfortable, then that’s part of growing—together.
Because staying silent just to avoid tension doesn’t create peace—it just builds pressure. I’ve done that enough. Now, I’m choosing better. People who can handle honesty. Energy that feels calm, not confusing. Conversations that lead somewhere. And most of all, I’m choosing to show up for myself in a way that feels right, real, and true.
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I started up a new listening cycle 4 days ago, resuming the same stack: Seductress, Paragon & ASBR.
Pairing Sed & Paragon on one listening day and SB solo on the other listening day.
I’ve gone fairly deeper into my internal family system work lately. I haven’t felt like saying much because it’s a lot! 
It’s fascinating how our exiled parts have a connection with our attachment styles. I was having vivid memories of inconsistency from my mom as a young girl and basically all through my childhood. I had a lot of sadness and anger because of that.
I see where my dad would show up inconsistently as well, almost like he had better things to do, while sometimes making time for me if it was doing things of interest to him? I learned to mask and people please in order to get some sort of attention.
I see where other people will appear to my exiled and protector parts as the way my parents were in my childhood and onward. I see where my parts used relationships as a way to avoid pain or distract the internal turmoil. I see where going on vacations has even been a way to do that very thing!
It’s wild!
I’m taking this as an opportunity to do some reframing and revisions. This helps to change my experiences NOW and going FORWARD.
I wish everyone would do this work. I bet the world would be a much happier place. I bet relationships would be so much healthier and thrive over survive.
🥹🥹🥹
I have been experiencing beautiful conversations with strangers out in different social settings. I am feeling a lot more comfortable that way.
I identify as an ambivert, sometimes leaning more into the introverted side. I see the link with my protector parts though.
Who am I without the blended and burdened parts trying to manage this inner system?
That has been mine to discover and can be yours too! 
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I think I am halfway through my 2nd round of the same stack: SB, Paragon and Seductress.
Here’s some revision/reframing work I have been working on around relationships:
OLD SCRIPT → NEW SCRIPT
“I get emotionally invested in people who end up hurting or betraying me.”
→ “All my relationships have always been whole and stable. I am cherished and nurtured in love. The people in my life are loyal and prioritize my heart above all else.”
“I end up giving more than I receive.”
→ “I have always attracted balanced, mutual love where both people pour into each other fully and generously.”
“People I love choose others over me.”
→ “I have always been the natural and only choice for those I love. I am chosen easily, joyfully, and without competition.”
“Love is intense but unstable.”
→ “Love in my life is passionate and steady. My relationships are deeply exciting and deeply safe.”
“Men I date keep secrets or hide things from me.”
→ “Everyone in my life has always been honest and transparent with me. I have always known exactly where I stand with the people I love. Cheating or betrayal have no place in my relationships.”
“If I don’t hold on tightly, I’ll lose them.”
→ “Love stays with me because it is meant for me. I am secure and at peace, knowing all connections are mutual and lasting.”
“My feelings are dismissed or used against me.”
→ “My feelings have always been valued, respected, and treated with care. My voice matters and is honoured.”
“Partners twist situations to make me feel like I’m wrong.”
→ “I attract partners who take responsibility for their actions and work with me to find solutions and understanding.”
“I’m made to feel guilty for speaking up about my needs.”
→ “It is natural and safe for me to express my feelings. My needs have always been heard, respected, and met with care.”
“If someone’s upset, it must be my fault.”
→ “I know my worth and my innocence. I attract people who communicate clearly and take responsibility, instead of assigning blame.”
“Love means tolerating bad behaviour, so I don’t lose them.”
→ “Love with me is always respectful and kind. I only connect with people who treat me with consistent respect and care.”
“Manipulation is part of relationships.”
→ “Manipulation has no place in my life. All my relationships are direct, truthful, and safe.”
→ “All my relationships have always been whole and stable.”
→ “Everyone in my life has always been honest and transparent with me.”
→ “All my relationships have naturally unfolded exactly the way I wanted, with ease, grace, and joy.”
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