The Queen’s Code 👸

[TheEmpress]

Seductress Solo | May 2025

This journal marks the beginning of a new devotion—one where I fully embrace the wholeness of who I am. The steady, grounded strength of my masculine core, and the intuitive, magnetic, expressive power of my feminine essence. No longer choosing one over the other, I am learning what it means to live in harmony—with both energies in balance, in reverence, and in truth.

For the remainder of May, I’ll be running Seductress solo. Nothing added. Nothing forced. Just presence, reflection, and the unfolding of my own embodied wisdom.

This is The Queen’s Code—a space for remembering that my softness is not separate from my strength. That my feminine isn’t something to perform, but something to be. Fully. Authentically. Unapologetically.
I am the prize—not because I seek to be chosen, but because I already am whole.

[TheEmpress]

[TheEmpress]

[TheEmpress]

[TheEmpress]

Day 3 ~ Seductress full loop

I allowed myself to stay in bed a bit longer today. It felt good to just rest and be.

I am really seeing my allure coming through in sessions with my clients. I mostly work with men and truly love this. My one client has a desire for me to work with his son. One of my friends booked a 2nd coaching session with me and I offered in person because she prefers that. I picked a spot where I can enjoy some yummy food and head to the river for a walk afterwards.

I have been having flashes of memories where I felt like I was too much, or not good enough. I see why I became disorganized with attachment due to the way I was raised by parents who were mixed up themselves.

My mom gave me up at 13 basically, which was a year after my parents separated. I tried living with my dad at the time. I felt ignored and unwanted because he spent a lot of time with his new gf. I vividly remember being alone a lot and I also started my period for the first time while being there in that vulnerable state.

I moved back to my moms that summer before grade 9 after my 14th birthday. She told me everything was fine while telling social workers she was afraid she would harm me. Betrayal and mistrust. I felt like I couldn’t even rely on my own parents to keep me safe.

My mom put me in foster care that summer and I ended up staying in care until 17 and went independent living until 21 with the support of children’s aid society. I worked my butt off to learn everything I could about the psychology and sociology of humans and family dynamics. I wanted to learn everything about attachment and disorders. I dove into the brain, the physical body, energy and all of it. I truly transformed myself when I could have just been another statistic.

Yes, I was an at risk youth who did very risky things and almost died multiple times.
Yes, I betrayed myself and others many times over.
Yes, I had a big caring heart and led others to do good and bad things.
Yes, I never gave up and kept moving forward regardless of my circumstances.
Yes, I forgive my parents and love them unconditionally. I understand why they operated the way they did.

I have been rebuilding a beautiful relationship with my dad. He came over on the weekend for a bbq and fixed my son’s bikes. He came over yesterday to tune up my bike and I gave him a burger to go.

I notice when my younger parts feel angry or sad in his presence. I validate them. They are a part of me that’s no longer burdened.

I just really get what’s going on here in my body that has me feeling triggers with other people.

I am embracing wholeness. I am embracing all of me.

I know with certainty that what’s for me stays and what’s not for me leaves.

All is good.

[TheEmpress]

Day 4 ~ rest day

I had a very healing bonfire under the full moon last night. I connected with the flames.

I had a powerful session with my coaching client in person yesterday. I also enjoyed a long call with a lady friend in the states.

I decided to delete a contact from my phone that I was fixated on having connection with. They wanted space so I will honour that. What’s for me won’t have to be chased or pursued repeatedly. He knows where I am if and when he feels ready to talk. I am okay no matter what.

I found myself reflecting on patterns with wounded men over the years. I am reframing those experiences as a way towards more self love and empowerment. I HAD negative associations lingering in my energy field. I can make things mean something more beneficial.

Here’s a screenshot from last nights full moon yin class I taught to a private client:

[TheEmpress]

Love is both a feeling and a choice.

The feeling is what opens your heart — the connection, the spark, the tenderness that makes you want to lean in.
But it’s the choice that gives that feeling roots. Choosing to show up. Choosing to listen. Choosing to stay curious, even when it’s hard.

Love isn’t meant to feel like a burden. It’s not about self-sacrifice or holding everything together alone.
True love is a living energy. It should flow both ways. It’s meant to nourish you as much as it nourishes the other person.

Sometimes we mistake love for duty, or we believe that staying silent, suffering quietly, or putting ourselves last is proof of how deeply we care.
But that’s not love — that’s fear or conditioning.

To me, real love honours the wholeness of both people.
It creates space for truth, growth, and emotional safety — not just for one, but for both.

Emotional sensitivity isn’t weakness. It’s not something to explain away with gender stereotypes.
It’s a strength — a doorway to intimacy, if we’re willing to meet each other there.

The kind of love I believe in is mutual. Conscious. Alive.
It’s not just about how someone makes you feel in the beginning. It’s about the life you choose to build with them, one honest moment at a time.

[TheEmpress]

A woman at a store told me that I carry myself with poise, which makes me look taller.

[TheEmpress]