The Psychonaut - Eudaemon

Journals - Custom Subliminals
#283

The last 3 weeks have been pretty difficult, I started having abdominal pain, pretty intense, so I went to the doctor and had some exams done. The doctor said I was ok, but there was something in my chest so I better go find another specialist.

Went to the other doctor to find a mass inside my chest, he ordered more exams.
Of course every possible scenario appeared in my mind including the possibility of the mass being a malignant tumour.
Turns out is a cist and its kind of pressuring my heart, its not serious, its not urgent, but the recommendation is surgery, so Im gonna have it, otherwise there could be some risks in the future.

Ive been in a emotional rollercoaster for like 3 weeks, sadness, fear, anxiety, you name it.
Going from doctor, to doctor… having multiple exams done and the uncertainty of not having a definitive answer.

Since yesterday I recover my calm, since I have clarity of what is it that I have, how to fix it and more than 1 professional opinion about it.

I guess my next cycle will include Paragon and LB

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#284

At some point of the process I collapsed. I couldnt take it anymore, how many more sickness, how much more pain should I endure.
I felt lost and lonely… If it wasnt for LB, probably I wouldn’t have made the decision to open up with my family, reach out for emotional help of proper professionals and pick myself up to do whats needed.

At some point of the process I realized that Im not alone and I have never been alone. I was shutting people off, I wasn’t allowing for other people to come close or to help me.

Im already so much more happier and healthier… even as I pass this part of the storm.

Curiously every person Ive encountered in the road, family, friends, doctors, therapist, everyone have been extremely well prepared and super empathic. Everyone have done more than whats strictly necessary.

I have received a lot of love in many different ways.

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#285

Hope you take care of this quickly brother and be well soon. I will send you healing energy :pray:.

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#286

Thanks brother, I really appreciate that!!

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#287

Absolutely amazing journal, I will be keeping up with this. Sending loving kindness to you. :relaxed: :pray:

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#289

On Thursday I will start my second cycle of KB st3, this time with Paragon, since on thursday Im gonna have my surgery too.

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#290

Holding you in positive intention and in healing energy.

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#291

Thanks brother! :boom::pray:

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#292

Day#1 of the new cycle…

KB st3 × 5 minutes
Paragon × 5 minutes

Im at the clinic, already waiting for the call. They are going to take me to my room and then the surgery.
I had shit sleep last night, but anesthesia will take care of that pretty soon.

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#293

Sending you love and energy :hugs:

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#294

Thanks! :dizzy::boom::raised_back_of_hand:

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#295

Everything is gonna be alright brother, just a blink and you will wake up all good :100: :muscle: best!

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#296

Just a blink indeed! Woke up with pain, but its been controlled with pain killers.
Ive slept most of the day, the surgery was pretty short.
Everything went according to plan and now Im waiting for my meal.
I should be back home by saturday or Sunday.

Thanks for caring brother!!

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#297

:muscle:t5:
:bed:
:muscle:t5:

Very glad to hear it.

Speedy recovery!

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#298

Thanks man! I just ate a bit to gain some extra energy and my mood is better.
Anyway, this morning I discovered something pretty interesting and Im sure you will appreciate it.

Let me find the post again to quote it.

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#299

A dream I had in november 2023, some how I cant quote specific parts so heres the whole thing.

Here you go @Malkuth

Interesting bits:

  • I dreamt of a kid that was symbolizing me
  • The kid had a malformation in the chest.
  • I said thats weird because I dont have one.
  • 1 1/2 years later an exam shows I have in fact a malformation in the chest, but inside it.
  • The family dynamics pretty much sums up my childhood.
  • What I did with the kid is basically what Im doing with myself lately
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#300

How are you doing today?

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#301

Now I much better… I experienced quite some pain during the day, but also slept and rest a lot.
Now the pain is about 4 out of 10

Thanks for asking!

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#302

Excellent! Godspeed for your post-surgery healing!

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#303

Happy to hear you’re rather good.

Crazy dream. Our subconscious is really powerfull. Even if we don’t understand it often.

About the pain. What helped me with root canal treatment (without anesthesia) and renal colics was to embrace the pain. To tell the pain that I love and welcome it. Tried to become one with the pain. As long as the pain isn’t to strong and you can still concentrate it enabled me to reduce the pain tremendously.

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