OK today or tomorrow I start a new cycle.
Somehow I have no need for Wanted anymore.
Also Alchemist is off the table for a short time.
This was maybe reconciliation
Last week I did a experiment with this listening schedule
D1 custom 1
D3 custom 2+3
D4-8 rest
It was to little for me, I double the listening days this time and see what happens.
Gona find my sweet spot.
The menu for this week is
Emperor+Minds Eye c
Primal +Diamond c
Chosen +Love Bomb c
Let’s go
So far 2 loops of Emperor c and 1 loop of Chosen +Love Bomb c.
Many things happened since a couple of days, I don’t know where to start.
What I expirience now is a beautiful transformation into positive power. This Chosen +Love Bomb custom is just magical
I feel like an Egg that has little cracks and trough these cracks shines golden rays of positivity like a sun.
Also Emperor starts to realy powers trough, I feel so internal strong. After a couple of projects that crashed down, it lifted me up powerfully. I am glad that I included : path of Forgiveness, Mercy Protocol and Courage Reclaimend in my custom.
Primal +Diamond c on the other hand start to show its magic also. I feel so sexual alive and hot the whole time. Time for me to start the playtime.
Also I found another city that has positive power as a foundation that makes me fully alive . I move in this city for sure.
The last couple of years I was searching for an energetic home base and I found 3 spots. 1 is to far away and super expensive. So there are 2 left.
The last 3 months I was visiting these city’s on a weekly basis until I found the winner. Alot of times I was visiting both city’s at the same day and compared wich energy I like more.
This is really a hard choice now😉 one city ( OK its more of a village) has unending love energy that fills your heart with warm loving energy. It’s probably the best place to recharge and relax.
The other city has this imense uplifting power of the wind ( all directions are possible) and I sit now at the river and decided to move here. Here I get power that feels natural to me.
There is only one thing, the people are very depressed and I don’t get why. The energy is so good and alive
In the love city the people aren’t depressed
Anyway I will move my home base.
Today I did at morning 1 loop Emperor c and then 5 hours later 1 loop of Chosen +Love Bomb c.
That was intense today.
During Chosen I felt my self love is growing and I get lost in love and positivity. Then 2 hours later I had a deep fall into my unhealthy views of the world.
this was chosen for sure. I felt so miserable like I didn’t in a long time to the point where I just asked : what is this shit? show me? guide me out of it, it’s possible!!!
I discovered that I have very unhealthy views about the world and I have to change them.
I pulled myself out of misery and slowly but powerfully I ascended into a more comfortable state of being.
That wasn’t funny at all but so necessary.
Now its time to change into a positive being
I believe in you 
Thank you @Tobyone
Actually it was very easy to do
There is this magical thing with Chosen, it shows you your darkest spots and then automatically guide you out of it with total conviction that there is more and better states for you.
I love it.
Today I stood up and I looked in the mirror at morning, I had a big smile on my face and I didn’t even recognize that I was smiling.
What a beautiful subconscious shift.
Yesterday I started to develop more profound self love than ever, I start to realize how important it is to love me all the time,because it’s not other people’s job to love me. It’s my responsibility, it’s my joy to love me and be loving towards myself in a healthy way.
I Love this custom so much, it’s pure healing.
OK here I am again.
I reached the point where I need another round of Healing.
I start tomorrow with Chosen from Within or Dragon Reborn ST4 + the Elixir
I could not wait
I did 1 loop of the Elixir
WOW what a relief, I cut out so much bullshit I have in me.
I feel as if liquid sparkling thick life force is flowing through me
I feel stronger than ever
I feel like I am the Boss in my life.
From now on I include the Elixir again in my Subliminal Journey.
OK I am going back to healing subs
Ordered this one today
Dragon Reborn st4
The Elixir
Ares
Attachment Destroyer
Call of honor
Deep-sleep
Discordia Deliverance
Eye of the Storm
FEBRUUS
Harmonic Singularity
I Am
Inner Voice
Light of humility
Negative Energy Transmutation
Negativity Shifter
Pragya
Pride Unbroken
Solitude
Steadfast
Untouchable
I knew it since 2 months( since I started Khan) that I have to go back but I ignored it and proceeded with alpha subs.
I love My Emperor Custom but I have to put everything on hold for now.
I start my washout today so that I am ready in 5 days to undergo another Healing period.
This time I include Chosen from Within and Spartan. I hope I can handle it.
Let’s go
Did today
The Elixir +Dragon Reborn ST4
Soo much pain in my chest
Pain of my family left me alone when I realy needed them during the hardest chanlleges in my life (mostly from age 2-16)
It feel like my chest has a big cut and there is only Pain coming out since 5 hours straight.
Sadness, emotional weakness, discomfort, physical Pain and pressure in my head/brain like somebody hitted me with an axe several times
I vomited 2 times today and it has only started
But I am stronger than ever and this time I am going to heal all of this once and forever.
I decide to proceed with The Elixir +Dr4 +CfW until my custom arrives. When my custom arrives at Friday I still have 3 listening days until the next washout.
Lets go and kick some shit out
Phhhuuuuu what a ride.
The pain I experienced since 6 hours grew so big that I had only one choice - forwards-inwards
So I jumped in and arrived at my tortured soul after 15 min
I quickly realized that I don’t give this level of pain to other living beings anymore, it’s just not right.
So I grew trough pain and now since 30 min I am in a stable state where I can concentrate on my task I have to do.
Round 1- Winner 
Ohhhh wwoooowwww
Now I feel really gooooood
Holy Dragon what is this???
I feel so good
I am happy
My stomach has a party of joy
I am very pleased with this one loop of DR St 4 +Elixir
I feel very good inside, full of joy and positivity.
I had a rough time for maybe 8 hours and after that I felt fantastic.
During the loop I heard/felt how my stomach was full of joy that I am doing this again.I intuitively knew that I am doing the right thing.
I realy love it how good Dragon Reborn works with me.
I feel so congruent and myself.
No need to prove anything to anybody.
Warm fire is burning since yesterday in me and I have joy.
Also I am impenetrable from outside Negativity or whatever.I feel as if DR rebuilds me stronger than ever.
Now my 1 year of Dragon Reborn Pays of big time.
Friday should my Dr st4 custom arrive.
Can’t wait to try it
And now a shout for inevitable victory… “LET’S GO!”
Yeeessssss
Lets Go
Today was listening day.
Stood up - 1 hour later Dr st4+Elixir
I felt terrible until 5 o clock
I am at the edge of tears the whole time, but no outbreak.
I realize now that I need a super circle of fantastic humans around me, I can’t do it alone
Fuck now I am crying.
As much as I like to do everything alone I am not built for being alone.
I miss the feeling of warm people around me, I want a family of friends and a own family.
It hurts really bad.
I am tired of spreading good vibes for nothing in return.
I am nearly every day out of my house in search of people I like,i rarely see someone I can watch and say: ohhh interesting, I like to watch how you life live.
What I see is people who want to go down into the abyss, drinking alcohol and numbing themselves, robbing themselves of energy and call that: I feel good now.
Catastrophic, I can’t vibe with them at all.
I feel soo alone, I am at the wrong place where I live, that goes for the whole country.
I need to make money, lots of money, so that I can go from this interpersonal cold, highly neurotic, emotionally absent civilization called Switzerland.
I feel like dying from coldness. I have no joy here, I can’t sense life outside of me.
Why are this people dead inside???
These circumstances realy weights heavy on my chest. I can’t pull the people I like (warm family type of people who value others and themself) out of a head, I can’t willingly force it, nor build it by myself. Ether I get lucky or I don’t get it at all.
Anyway I have to deal with this constant pain.
It comes in waves, very strong and then I do things I like, after 2 days this pain goes away, only to return after 10 days.
I found no cure until now, only solution is to find the people I like.
At the same time I am more Grounded than ever
Calm and introspective, realizing small thing that makes a big difference the whole day.
At 5 I was going to buy food, I only brought veggies and fruits, Greek jogurt, nuts, pickles.
I have no car, so I am going with a big travel suitcase. I filled the whole suitcase with fruits and veggies. Nearly 30 kg and 2 big plastic bags full.
This is my personal fun, the people always watch me in disbelief when I start playing Tetris in my suitcase. I look like a gypsy to them.
It was very interesting. 5 days ago my whole diet was very unhealthy while I was listening to Emperor, Chosen, Primal, etc.
But 2 times DR and only organic food ends up in my suitcase.
I see that I have a tendency to downspiral and declare everything as shit. That is unhealthy and I am going to change that.
After writing and crying that out of me I feel somewhat better, less heavy, less alone, more hope and somewhere I see a light going up, there are solutions for my problems and I am gona find them
LET’S GO
I feel you on this one, I can initially mostly vibe with people, but as soon as I go deeper which I like doing they just run scared the other way. I’ts kind of sad to see how bad it has gotten with the mental health in society last couple of years.
I miss community, groups where people share and support each other, a place where people feel involved with the well-being of their surroundings and society at large. It all feels so un-personal, and every time I find myself in a city I long to get back into the heart of nature where peace is a constant.
They are out there, but that are not in majority 
We all crave deeper relationships and intimacy with people deep down.
Yes I know, I don’t loose hope one bit, but I am since 8 years in this state, where I vibe nearly with nobody, I can’t do it here in Switzerland.
And I am drinking medicine also, this topic is super hard for me. I am in constant fleeing modus, I don’t want to be here.
I have in 5 min on a moto taxi ride in perú more Connection and sharing good vibes than I have in 2 years in Switzerland
Its absurd
If there is somewhere the FIST OF JOY, please give it to me, I am gona punch everyone in the face, the whole 9 million Swiss people simultaneously.
Anyway @Tobyone thank you for your words
Years ago I stopped to help people, I met people on the street and showed them how they can remove unwanted energy from their system, or how they break a bond and send everything back, or how they can clean themselves, how they can absorb their energy from a vampire back etc etc.
You already know what happened - they ghosted me immediately, even change the road when they see me
I don’t even try to go deep and it’s allready to much for most of the people.
But buying nice clothes and style themselves and then present themselves to the world as the Pinnacle of existence is what everyone does
So dumb
Shit I am realy angry and I start to hate it.
Where I am here - Kindergarten of emptiness
Fack I need to deal with that topic right now