The New Emperor Q [Stacked]


#21

Been running more EQ throughout the day.

  • Negative self talk is vanishing and even the negative statements that do make it through are instantly and assertively rejected.

  • Starting to notice that my dislike for people is actually turning into compassion. I’ve done 2 different meditations today to send love throughout the world and even the universe. It hit me that maybe people are stuck in such a pattern of negativity because they have no hope. Reminds me of when I was suicidal years ago. Today I’m just feeling more empathy for others it seems.

  • My libido is going from raging to being more controlled.


#22

No idea why but currently the speed of my thoughts are so fast that it’s almost stressful, I’ve actually been like this the whole work day. Besides the usual attention from females, nothing unusual; even though a male coworker described me as handsome while speaking to a female over the phone that he often communicates with for work purposes.


#23

My level of idgaf is reaching new levels every day. I’m not sure at this point if this is simply me evolving into a man with solid equanimity, or there’s a reason why I literally don’t seem to care much about anything. I still have desires, and “desires” is actually a strong word at this point because I feel like I couldn’t care less about getting anything that I want.

On one hand it’s great to be so stress free, on the other hand it’s a foreign feeling to me to feel so chill for so many days in a row.

  • My ex admitted that she wants to break up with her new boyfriend and still has feelings for me, and I don’t care.

  • My new friend seems a bit distant, and I don’t care.

  • I’m waiting on calls to receive news about a couple developing job and living arrangements, but don’t care when the news about them comes.

  • don’t care about money, love, emotions, relationships, sex, status…nothing.

Strange to admit that I don’t even seem to care about not caring. All I’m “feeling” is indifference and outcome independence every time something internally or externally comes across me. I can still express positive emotions and even some annoyance here and there but I move quickly back to center. Is this what it’s like to be emotionally healthy? Or like a monk?..hmmm strange.


#24

Sounds like fear doesn’t have any control of you right now. Like you’re in a brand new normal.


#25

This’ll take some getting used to for sure.


#26

Only thing new to report is that a few women have gotten pissed at me over the past couple days. Every single time I’ve laughed. Reason is…I’ve become even better than before at recognizing shit tests, so now I just recognize the game and play…instead of being drawn into a negative emotional spiral like I used to. The indicators I was being tested in each situation is one; I didn’t say or do anything overtly disrespectful, and two, within an hour the women actually acted extra sweet towards me…in my experience, that means their attraction level rose; due to me standing my ground calmly but assertively as a man, whether they realize it or not.


#27

Over the past couple years, my level of internal fear has loosened steadily through my use of subliminals, energy work and other tools. While I’m thankful for the healing and emotional, mental and spiritual stability, it seems it’s becoming harder for me to maintain any motivation or desire to achieve goals that I set, since I’m caring less about the physical world.

I don’t feel lazy lately but rather I feel uninspired. Even some goals I had deeply ingrained within me have lost the ability to stir anything within me. It’s true that as a younger man, I was driven by things like fear, anger, and a superiority complex. These days…mental states like those are pretty much non-existent. I’m now seeking to find a way to become and stay motivated to achieve anything on a consistent basis. I’ve reached the point where neither logic, nor emotion serve as adequate fuel for my ambition anymore.


#28

Currently running EQ overnight. I can feel my brain processing the information, similar to when I first began running EQ.

I’ve been working diligently to cleanse my energy system, especially my chakras. I feel lighter here and there but nothing extreme. This means either my energy body is pretty clean to begin with, or my blockages are dense, if there are any at all.

Sitting here while the 2nd loop plays, realizing that my recent epiphanies have put me into a state of metamorphosis, a mental cocoon of sorts. I almost made an emotional decision tonight but then decided against it. I’ve come to realize through this restraint how people don’t care for one another, but rather how another makes them feel, or what they can do for them.

It’s something I’ve known for a while, but it just now seems to be sinking in. I’ve come to realize that my mind, heart and soul are something that I’m better off not bearing to another human being. They can catch a glimpse here and there; that there is something deeper, but I’m not to bear it all. Not unless I want to put myself in losing positions with others as I have in the past, especially with women.


#29

Caught a cold but wasn’t too worried that it was the corona virus. Seems I was right as I’m almost completely over it 48 hours later. Speaking of which, I’ve seen the level of fear and ignorance in general society over the past couple days which has me feeling as if the world needs more love (and logic).

I’ve been feeling a certain level of compassion for the planet Earth and its inhabitants in general. Been performing meditations with the intention to spread positive vibes.

My ex and I have been getting along much better the past few days which is great for the sake of my daughter. things from her end got flirtatious for a minute. She expressed she wants to sleep with me but due to her being in a relationship it wouldn’t be the right thing to do. Part of me was tempted to press the issue just to see how far things would go but I’d rather avoid the potential long-term drama. Can’t let my dick make my decisions.

My new female friend is beginning to show stronger signs of interest out of nowhere. She complained that while I’m at work, I never come around her area to visit. I joked that she can work on her eye contact while I work on visitation. Had to ask a supervisor some questions and I noticed her turning back to stare at me a couple different times. The first time I turned towards her and saw she was looking at my shoes then when she looked up and noticed me looking, she had a seductive and sexual look in her eyes which I’ve never seen coming from her before, especially since she carries a demeanor that’s more on the “innocent” side of the spectrum. The other two times, I was speaking with my manager and I could tell she was watching me to study how I carry myself. From there, we traded IM’s back and forth on the work chat throughout the day, where I revealed that I study people deeply in order to know how to best deal with them in order to keep connections with them strong (as long as I see effort to want to maintain a bond that is). She seemed impressed by this, and the fact that I seem to have her “all figured out”. That’s odd seeing as she’s very laid back and had such a mysterious aura when we first met. What can I say, my intuition never lets me down. In any case, I’m still not expecting any particular outcome.


#30

Working from home due to Corona Virus precautions being taken by my job. Feeling grateful to still be able to even work due to all the people I see either having their hours cut, or even being unemployed altogether. Makes me wonder what position I would be in if I had taken action sooner to be certified in IT sooner and had gotten another job outside of the Healthcare industry. Once this all blows over I’ll be taking more action to change jobs but for now I’ll stick to collecting certifications.

  • Ran 9 loops of the masked track overnight. I woke up with a slight pressure in my head and I was pretty tired. Despite that, I notice that I’m far more internally and externally assertive and positive.

  • Based off my thoughts alone, I can tell my level of internal self-love, self-worth and self-respect have reached new heights.

_ I’m not procrastinating at all, not even trying to rationalize why something should be put off. I’m doing what comes to mind as soon as I think of it, whether it’s work related or personal.

  • All of yesterday, and this morning, my appetite has been almost non-existent.

  • I’m mentally sharper, with a high-speed thought rate, but it’s not overwhelming, I can mentally keep up with all my thoughts and feel like I have unlimited mental stamina.

  • My decision making is sharper, more confident and I’ sticking to my decisions with an immense amount of conviction.

  • Past couple days, I’ve been speaking to my bosses as if I’m actually the one in charge of them. not in a rude way, but in a tone that signals that I’m the one that’s truly in charge of me…and they just have a title that was handed to them by a corporation.

  • Feeling immune to stress altogether, no matter what the source is. Surprising being that my company is so backed up with work that they’ve been asking people to work on their days off.

I may update more later depending on my personal and professional workload. For the first time in weeks I feel so motivated to get shit done that it’s ridiculous.


#31

Update:

Just finished an unexpected 12 hour shift at home. My base speaking volume was definitely higher than normal through today. This happened without any extra effort on my part. Even after my work shift I’m only slightly fatigued, my motivation levels seem to exceed my physical energy level right now. I plan to rest well tonight and use that leftover motivation for tomorrow.


#32

Experiencing the same effects as the other day, it all just feels calmer as if I’m acclimating to my new level. What has consistently increased is my hunger, although my appetite is decreasing. Basically, my body demands more nourishment, even when I don’t want to eat. Just been trying to be mindful of what I consume.


#33

Currently running the masked track of EQ for the first time today. I woke up feeling supremely confident and loving toward myself. My heart center right now even has the same feeling it would as if I were in love, but this energy is directed all towards me. I feel extremely grateful for every little thing. I’ve also been spot on with my hygiene and grooming the past couple days. Especially today. I love my looks and everything about myself currently.

Feels like I went from being stuck in neutral to shifting all the way up to top gear within the past week. I’m also happy that although I’ve spent more than usual on some needs and even some desires. I still somehow have way more than enough money to get myself through until payday this week. I remember just a few short years ago not even having $5 left the day before payday.

My savings account is also growing much quicker than I anticipated.


#34

Update:

Went from feeling like energy was bursting in my heart center to getting a strange intuition to try an energy technique that I made up off the top of my head. I read of expressing emotion, I would just feel it in and call it I-motion.

basic technique is imagining that there’s a black hole where my heart is, and any excessive emotional energy I feel would be sucked out and transferred into the universe. Took me from being happy go lucky to feeling completely neutral. I did this 4 hours ago and still feel neutral as hell. I’m hoping this technique works on negative emotions this well too, as I see it would come in handy within cases where I need to quickly calm down. I didn’t even have to meditate to get this effect.


#35

The new “black hole technique” (BHT) works. Someone said something that triggered me a bit and after 10 seconds I imagined a black hole in the center of my being absorbing the negative energy. This time I was put into a hood mood instead of feeling apathetic. Crazy how conventional wisdom says to channel energy into conversations or activities; but for me, absorbing/transferring the energy inward quickly assists with emotional control.


#36

Ran nothing overnight so I could start my day with more energy. Initially I just laid there for about 10 minutes but was urged to get up and care for myself. I got up and meticulously went through my grooming and hygiene routine.

I also did some meditation and energy work, where I discovered that I seem to be consciously, and subconsciously learning how to perfectly control both my own emotional, and energetic states at the same time, even without meditating. I’ve been trying to manifest that skill for 10 years now; and just imagine, that it seems I’m finally on the brink of actually being able to do it.


#37

Damn, can’t believe it’s been 6 days since I updated already. Still been running EQ but I took today off in order to wait for stark to drop. I wanna see what it does and if it’s in line with my goals then I’ll be switching. Nothing new to report in regards to EQ besides me paying more attention to my physical and energetic hygiene.


#38

Closing this journal, will be running EQ along with SQ


#39

Don’t close it, just mark in the journal when you switched to stacked, and change the title. Makes it easier for us.


#40

Not a problem