Ugh…
Even the thumbnail of that video just screams insincerity. “Drama she craves” – wtf is that even supposed to mean? Way to stereotype and compartmentalize 50% of the species! With an image of a woman who doesn’t even represent the majority of appearances, heavily slathered in makeup wearing an expensive turtleneck doing a hand gesture while smiling mysteriously. Give me a break!
As you know; I work on embodying the four principles: integrity, authenticity, responsibility, and enriching. None of these can be embodied from a space of incompletion. You’re either on the bus or not on the bus. You can’t be 50% on, 30% off, 20% maybe but only on Sundays.
As I was saying last night in my post, being in a state of completion or fullness, or bringing yourself to that state, requires you to listen to yourself. You can’t listen to others and catch them in an untruth, or hear their authentic position, unless you know about the ways you lie to yourself. In fact, you can’t be fully present to listen if different parts of your belief system are at odds with one another.
Let’s analyse your words here. You are equating “vulnerability” and “being nice” with weakness. You could equally choose to use the words “open” or “honest” or “candid” rather than the more emotionally charged vulnerable, which is indeed in the English language associated with a weakness. Your words define your cognitions. Then there’s “being nice”, a different word is “generosity” or “benevolence”. Neither honesty/being candid, nor generosity, are signs of weakness. Change your words and change your perception of yourself from a position of a vulnerable, nice guy to a generous, candid person, and you’ll be surprised what a difference it makes.
Now, the next assumptive statement is “Weakness equals friend zone or women might even laugh at you.”
A good place to start here might be: what event did you experience in the past where a man or a woman laughed at you when you felt weak or at the mercy of others? What is the core event that caused you to have that false belief which generalizes positive qualities as weaknesses and cause others to take advantage of you? Go back and relive that experience, several times, remove the charge from it, so that you can discard it and be done with it.
Finally, why are you equating showing vulnerability with being authentic? Do you have to appear vulnerable to someone to be your authentic self? Do you have some kind of belief that says telling a woman “man I find you are smokin’ today!” is making yourself vulnerable? Or is this a different type of vulnerability. Really listen to yourself and your self talk. Usually the big red flags are right there.
