Just came back from the gym for the first time in 3 weeks. My cardio was complete trash. My form was trash. Made me realize how important consistency is.
Wasn’t able to do anything except box, but afterwards I was on my way out and I just saw the next class doing clinch work. I stayed and just watched people work the clinch, and it made me wish I was able to be working the clinch with them too.
Gotta focus on the healing.
So I decided to run QL ST1 with Paragon and AM for this cycle. I picked AM over Wanted because the new objectives showed that AM had physical shifting involved, so I said why not. After listening to AM it gave me a lot of motivation to start exercising again, basically almost immediately. AM is the GOAT sub for a reason.
Haven’t felt shit yet from QL unfortunately. Just gotta wait and see how it goes, I know the Limitless subs tend to take time for some so I’ll be okay.
Injured my arm from a fall, and it’s badly bruised. Really pissed me off, and was quite depressing.
Honestly been feeling real depressed from not being able to train. I need to figure out how to manage and overcome this feeling. Just haven’t felt like myself lately.
Also had a crazy vivid dream. I was part of an experiment with a group of people, I don’t remember the details but we were all installed in a large school campus and everyone in the group was tasked with hurting themselves. Yes, fucked up I know.
When we got into the school I had completely forgotten about that objective and for some reason, I knew that there was a girl I used to know who went to that school so I went looking for her. I literally asked the first guy I saw if he knew her and he said that he did, and I asked for her number so I could message her to let her know I was at her school. He said he knew her number but didn’t know her, which was odd until he showed me text messages with her phone number; the situation had something to do with him getting treated by a girl/girlfriend to have a threesome/orgy situation, and her number was one of the people suggested to him by his significant other. I took a photo of his screen and thanked him and walked away to text her to let her know I was coming to see her. Keep in mind that this girl was someone I spoke to basically every day when I was 14-15, but never afterwards. She was the high school crush of my best friend.
As I was writing the text (I was walking down the steps of a library) I looked up and through the glass windows of the floor above, there were desks and people studying but one of them was looking away while stabbing herself in the arm with a pencil. She then saw me and the expression on her face was pale. I keep walking down steps and someone throws themselves on me, to attack me but I simply push them away. I find myself in a basement 'backrooms"like place, and one of the girls in the experiment is rocking herself in a corner crying. She sees me and lunges, almost like she didn’t want to but was forced to attack me. I fend her off and continue walking down the corridor, which looks like Level 2 of the backrooms (google it). There’s a light and an exit that leads to a street and I see people, and I think I see a monster of sorts. I’m not sure, I think I saw a car being hurled by the monster, I don’t know, I don’t remember. But that was when I woke up.
Haven’t had a dream like that in awhile, they really only begin when I start a new sub.
AM’s productivity boost is incredible, a true night and day difference really. Nothing gets me off my ass more.
How was MTMX? If you get a chance to do so, PM me a score of 1-10. Be honest and if you did get results, send any ideas on how we can improve.
Running AM has made me seriously question some of my beliefs in money, wealth and my general spending habits.
I love the feeling I get from Stark, but I think it’ll be worth it for me to run AM just a little longer.
Updated Custom list:
Cores:
Muay Thai Mastery X
Mind’s Eye or Spartan, haven’t decided
Subliminal/Stack booster:
Deus
Unlimiter
Carpe Diem Ascended (motivation & happiness)
Berserker (fighting stack booster)
Manifestation components:
Fortune’s Favorite
Physical shifting:
APS: Legs
Serum X
Harmonic Singularity (relaxation of tensions in body, directly impacts physical and mental)
Elegance (graceful movement)
Mental skills:
Extreme Exercise Motivation
Ego Adsum (shifting focus into the present moment)
Submodel Alpha
Technical skills:
All-Seeing (sharper senses & perception)
Master’s Coordination (hand-eye coordination)
Physical skills:
Equilibrium (flexibility, agility, balance)
Inexhaustible (stamina)
Blink (speed)
Thunder (reflexes)
Last remaining decision to make is between using Mind’s Eye or Spartan. Also contemplating a custom with components from Mogul, Stark and Wanted but I think I want to test out more subs before I decide.
I haven’t been enjoying QL Stage 1. I haven’t felt any cognitive boost, and I suspect the healing element is giving me recon but with no tangible benefit yet.
It’s a little frustrating, I’m kind of in space at the moment with QL Stage 1 because it doesn’t feel like it’s doing much for me. I’m gonna stick to running it until the end of May, my initial plan was end of June but it’s felt so non-eventful that I think moving to Stage 2 where the action begins is where I will begin to reap the benefits.
Decided to look into the shop description of QL to better in-grain what I should be expecting in terms of change:
"Before unleashing the power of Quantum, your whole nervous system (and not just the brain) needs to be in an optimal condition. This means extensive repairs of physical damages, rebalancing of hormones and nutrients, restoration of optimal functioning, rewiring of existing neural patterns for higher efficiency, preparation for new, even more optimized neural connections, strengthening of existing areas and creation of new connections…
Furthermore, Quantum Re-Balance will free you from limiting beliefs and emotional trauma, remove and release any creative blocks you might have, as well as pave the way for the development of rapid and easy understanding.
And to achieve full balance, both of your hemispheres will become closer, enjoying a much more rapid communication between the two sides of your brain, while also bringing closer together your conscious and subconscious mind.
All parts of your brain and mind will come together to one unified, extremely powerful, whole."
I underestimated the amount of physical shifting that needed to be done to progress out of Stage 1. Happy to see that to be honest, I feel like it gives me a better idea of what I should be consciously guiding.
The meaning of my full name:
Soldier, clever, brave, physically strong and praiseworthy.
Have I demonstrated these qualities in my life? Yes. Do I always? No, at least not enough.
My biggest issue has always been my perfectionist mentality, it’s hindered just as much as it’s helped me. I just need to focus on my name to understand what I need to commit to, because striving for perfection will always leave me unfulfilled.
When I am clever, brave and physically strong, I am praiseworthy.
Are you switching over to a new journal? Let us know when you do!
Not yet. I said I’d start a new journal when I began QL but with the timing of my injury and what not, it just doesn’t seem as though this journal has reached a fitting conclusion just yet.
Hm.
Really thinking about my life right now. Watched a video that really hit me.
Still wasting too much time. Still not where I need to be, or where I want to be.
Realizing that my arm mobility has been significantly hindered since the injury, even if the pain’s reduced.
It’s washout time, and I think it’ll do some good for me to continue to run Paragon for the next cycle too.
I think I need to take a break from the forums. I think I get this feeling whenever I run AM.
Last time I took a break, I came back and ZP had already been released, unbeknownst to me. I wonder what a significant break could do for me this time around. It would be better to stop distracting myself in the infinite ways that I do so.
I need to focus on securing the great male advantage while I still can. I’m wondering whether I should replace Paragon with Spartan for my next cycle, or if I should return to Stark since it was such a fun sub to run.
Then again, is there a point really in running Stark right now? The fame feeling was amazing when I did run it, but do I need fame right now? Is there a point in having fame right now? If I haven’t reached the place where I want to be, why should I be focused on receiving adulation for my mediocrity?
I want to maintain balance in this journey, and focusing on expansion, restriction and balance is key. Adding Stark to AM and QL could work, but I think Spartan would be the perfect balancer in this stack. Using Spartan will also give me a chance to feel out whether or not I should include it in my custom, or if ME is truly the better option.
Muay Thai Mastery was the centerpiece of this journal. It did its job, but my abilities really took off when I started to run Mind’s Eye. And sure enough, I get injured on the day of what I felt was my best training session I had since starting muay thai.
Since then, I’ve been focusing on healing with Paragon. But combined with the use of QL ST1 I’ve come to the realization that I’ve been doing some mental and emotional healing as well. A few people have picked up on my constant recon as of late (s/o to @Brandon @GoldenTiger @Invictus, and genuine apologies to @friday), that has forced me to re-address certain issues that I’ve had that led me to starting this subliminal journey. These issues were remedied by my practice of muay thai, but it feels like external stimuli should not be the sole source of my growth. There has to be a greater internal growth I feel, something that can be helped by the use of Ascended Mogul.
I suspect AsC has had a role in this, as I wasn’t really mulling over these ideas until I ran AsC for the first time. It is a total stack booster, it’s really something special. Also the only subliminal that gives me that ‘perception shift’ feeling that many have talked about, and I suspect that the strength of the sub has something to do with that. Makes me wonder whether I should try for ZP Terminus when make my custom, but that’s another story.
Now my favorite sub that I ran was Stark. Its results were instantaneous, and I felt things I had never experienced in a long time while using it. I never attracted fame, yet people started to know and recognize me. People have always had a tendency to forget my name and yet, people started to know who I was once I started running Stark. Social interactions were a complete difference with Stark. I almost feel like I took a few steps back while using Stark, not because I wasn’t getting results but more because the results were distracting me from the task at hand.
Feeling the fame on Stark was an amazing experience, and I can’t wait to have that feeling again. But I’m at a point where I don’t even feel like I deserve it, because I’m not where I want to be. It was nice receiving that attention, it was nice being super easy in conversation, and it makes Stark feel addictive. But what I need is something that will push me to further sharpen my blade, to maximize the results that I could obtain with Stark in the future.
This isn’t to say that I’m kicking Stark to the curb because I’m not. There isn’t a sub that fits my personality more, there isn’t a sub that meshes with me more, it just makes me feel like more of what I am compared to any other sub. But I want to focus on building myself up further, instead of resting on who I am. I am fundamentally a Tony Stark-type, with or without the use of the Stark subliminal. But to reach the goals that I’ve always had in mind I have to focus on the things that I lack in like work ethic, focus and stoicism, versus amplifying the volume of my current strengths and traits (namely charisma).
It’s time to sharpen the blade, time to get in the lab. It’s time to embrace the dark.
All the best to you
I use “blocksite” on my phone and “cold turkey blocker” on my computer to block them until 5pm every day so that they dont distract from work