The Journal of Life

Journals - Major Programs
#1

Another journal…just because I felt the need to open another one, both for more accountability and for the need to share something that other people outside of this self-improvement path will never comprehend and understand, I guess.

I named it The Journal of Life to keep it as open as possible, without a particular title. A journal to document how I’m navigating the new way of living my life.

I’m stubborn by nature, and so I cannot give up on myself, despite all the ups and downs in my journey.

Also, it’s a journal to shine the light on the doubts I have regarding my subliminal use

Frankly, I don’t know if Summertime is the right title for me, as it gives me very harsh recon on just 15-30 seconds. It’s very discouraging to have this kind of experience when it should be one of the easiest subliminals to run, on paper. It’s highlighting the hard comparison game I have been playing in one way or another that dug a deep hole into my self-worth.

However, paradoxically, it could be the one that I need the most if the high recon symptoms are related to the very core of my stubborn patterns. The recon is very deep, and it’s causing me to rethink how to approach my life altogether. It’s causing me to wonder who am I at the very source/nature of my identity.

So it’s fair to say it’s a fully fledged identity crisis and not just a deep recon phase, which started right after the spring equinox.

Every fear-based and artificial control mechanism has been brought to the surface of my conscious awareness:

  • The Superego “I’m the God of my Reality” phase/character
  • The Solipsism Master “I’m the Only one here” phase/character
  • The Ultimate Victim “I’m the Weakest/Unluckiest/Unworthiest One” phase/character
  • The Nothingness “I’m the Nothing & None is there but Awareness” phase/character
  • The Wholeness “I’m Everything” phase/character
  • The Superman complex “I can become Superhuman anytime & anywhere” phase/character

All these identities have been trying to fight for supremacy for many years already, and now I have to deal with them all and try to find a way to integrate all of them without destroying them all or going all in on only one of them.

I have seen a different behavior starting to show up in myself and that’s very difficult to describe and categorize. It’s more versatile in a sense where I can find myself coming up with a very brilliant joke out of nowhere in front of several people or a warmer way to interact with anyone I want, just for the sake of expressing myself without any particular motives.

However, it’s a very fluctuating behavior that’s not influenced by a certain objective, but just by the impulse to do it. And people seem to react differently, too, by mirroring more of it.

So a lot is going on in my inner world, which is very disorienting at times and there’s de-fragmentation in progress too.

Current Listening Schedule:
Listening Day 1: Sunday, March 22nd, 2026: Summertime (15 seconds)
Listening Day 2: Tuesday, March 24th, 2026: Summertime (30 seconds)
Listening Day 3: Thursday, March 26th, 2026: Summertime (15 seconds)
Listening Day 4: Saturday, March 28th, 2026: Summertime (30 seconds)
Listening Day 5: Monday, March 30th, 2026: Summertime (60 seconds)
Listening Day 6: Wednesday, April 1st, 2026: Summertime (60 seconds)
Listening Day 7: Friday, April 3rd, 2026: Summertime (3 minutes)
Listening Day 8: Sunday, April 5th, 2026: Summertime (60 seconds)
Listening Day 9: Tuesday, April 7th, 2026: Summertime (60 seconds)
Listening Day 10: Thursday, April 9th, 2026: Summertime (60 seconds)
Listening Day 11: Saturday, April 11th, 2026: Summertime (30 seconds)
Listening Day 12: Monday, April 13th, 2026: Summertime (30 seconds)
Listening Day 13: Wednesday, April 15th, 2026: Summertime (60 seconds)
Listening Day 14: Friday, April 17th, 2026: Summertime (15 seconds) + WDB (15 seconds)
Listening Day 15: Sunday, April 19th, 2026
Ascension Stage 1: The Stabilizer (15 seconds)
Listening Day 16: Tuesday, April 21th, 2026: Summertime (30 seconds) + WDB (30 seconds)

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#2

Very vivid dreams tonight and the main theme was betrayal but with a positive twist towards healing of those “toxic” relationships.

I’m feeling way more naturally positive and authentic with proper boundaries set in place both outside and inside.

Mindfullness isn’t still there and I would need a conscious effort in order to remember to do it.

The key is subtraction and not addition…and addiction too (especially with Self-Help and Self-improvement).

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#3

In a way there’s this feeling of a Total Breakdown happening behind the scenes.

It’s crazy to think that indirect healing could be as powerful as a healing focused modality.

I get the feeling that Life is healing me but with an unexpected angle.

Every expectation needs to be dropped though.

Life is my Ultimate Mentor and Master.

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#4

Tonight I had one of the craziest dreams I can partially remember and it was about a strange place where objects seemed to vanish into the unknown and probably people/animals too.

I don’t remember if I was watching a video or else but the theme was the mystery around the general disappearance of something or someone without leaving any trace.

Then I witnessed myself being attracted to that particular spot where I guessed everything was disappearing. At first there was some fear of losing myself (death?) but then I sensed a strong invite and willingness to step into the unknown of that seemingly magical spot.

After that I didn’t felt nothing at all and that dream probably ended.

Today I feel more balanced, lighter and auto-calibrated.

This morning a thought/realization popped up into my consciousness that my life shouldn’t necessarily be satisfying/nurturing/positive as a set-in-stone prerequisite to live it fully.

I shouldn’t put pressure on myself for not having a certain kind of experience or occurrence.

It looks like the overarching theme of the last few days is letting myself live my life without heavy agendas as I used to have in the past.

Let it go and let it flow.

It looks like RoS on steroids, to be honest.

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#5

During the lunch with my parents and nephews, there was an easy-going, calm, but warm behavior from my side with some Belly Laugh moments.

This afternoon I had a nice stroll in the nearby little town, and at some point I watched an old railway building that I passed by thousands of times, as if I was seeing it for the first time. Some kind of filter that blurred my perception was gone, and I could observe its rugged and deteriorated facades in a quite fascinating way.

Also, I consciously decided to enjoy my meals more with mindful eating and so there was a renewed pleasure in eating some tasty and healthy, very simple dishes. Usually, I always scrolled through my phone while eating the 3 other meals alone, which tasted definitely better by focusing on them more.

A new way of experiencing everyday life is emerging.

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#6

This morning some pleasant memories and past positive feelings came up to the surface.

There’s a new inner calmness that’s not consciously created or faked by suppressing and filtering things so much like before.

Also, I can see myself lightly joking about seemingly small errors.

So after the inner earthquake of one week ago, my perception is changing and my inner landscape too.

Some persistent issues in my reality are resolving themselves with just a small effort on my part.

#7

Around 2 hours of outdoor exposure to the warm sun in a nearby park that I visited rarely.

It should be enough to get some powerful Vitamin D and disconnect a little bit from the usual routine and environment.

#8

I’m warming up socially slowly but surely and in a organic/sustainable way.

I’m getting back to my very early friendly, magnetic and uplifting former self.

#9

I’m noticing a gradual and natural dropout of seemingly innocent mental & emotional coping mechanisms.

I’m trusting more life as it is with its mysterious and sometimes unpredictable flow. So, in the process, the training wheels aren’t as needed as before.

Before, the subliminals were my crutch to cope with the unknowns of daily life and to cope with the deep belief I wasn’t good enough for the goals I wanted to accomplish. Now Summertime looks like the only sub I really need and currently want to run as the true mentor to really live my life to the fullest.

However I’ll see after a full solo cycle if the other metrics (finances, relationships, health) will improve or not as an indirect result of being truly aligned with life itself.

If yes, It will be the last subliminal I’ll ever run.
If not I’ll add 1 or 2 needed titles to it.

However, right now there are early signs it will be enough to cover pretty much all areas of my life, both directly and indirectly.

Also, I feel my energetic signature is changing towards higher frequencies.

It’s way easier to journal and allowing my most joyful version to enjoy every little interaction with others as I’m finding myself being more present and spending more time in every conversation than before. Before I was rushing the interactions but now I take more time to dive into the interaction without any agenda than interacting more. So just interacting for the sake of it.

I’m definitely wittier too.

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#10

Yesterday I finally took my laptop to repair after 2 years of delays (procrastination) due to the fact I was worried about not being able to sustain my daily life without it.

That’s a very underrated progress, in my honest opinion, that means I can live with less dependence on another form of escapism of the (sometimes) boring present moment.

So I’m glad there’s no withdrawal symptoms and boring times are meant to be resting times to recharge/process/reconnect more.

My unconditional inner joy is slowly increasing but it’s still often subtle.

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#11

This morning, while I was listening to my favorite songs, I was aware of unheard new layers in them even though I played those tracks a lot.

There’s a rising new immersion in the now moment and the awakening of new or unconscious perceptions.

It’s kind of more natural than a sensational wow factor though.

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#12

Permission is the 1st keyword. Authority is the second one. Sovereignty is 3rd one.

Every choice I made was based upon some external authority that was somehow above my personal sovereignty: other people, society, AI, so-called experts.

Today is a self-reflective day where I’m questioning the source of all those choices and where they took me.

The truth is, I’m still waiting for permission to live my life in my own most desired terms.

The main fault was to search for that permission in the external World.

Now it’s time to gather the courage to give permission to myself by myself.

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#13

Pretty good Easter so far.

Sunny. Warm. Entertaining.

I spent the whole afternoon with my best friend on a warmer-than-expected stroll near the lake. It was a pleasant experience where I was more talkative & open than usual with him. Also, a few hours before, I was talking more in storytelling mode with my parents, too.

We stopped at a cute bar located just a few meters from the lake, where there was an attractive waitress who caught my attention immediately because she resembled the last girl I asked out (while I was on Genesis, almost 3 years ago).
At some point, during our walk back to my car, a cute woman said to my friend, or to me, “Hello.” However, my friend told me she was watching me while she said that. I replied automatically with another “Hello” to her, but she caught me so off-guard that I didn’t think at all to follow up in some kind of way. When I realized it, she was already far from us. The last time something like that happened was during my last Genesis run.

Then, when I came back and entered my home, I was pleasantly & unexpectedly surprised by an unknown sea/summer/lotioned kind of scent. That scent was quite strong, and it shifted my mind into a very summery feeling. The fact is that I live very, very far from the nearest sea (several hundred km), and the nearest lake never smells like that, and not even remotely close. So it didn’t make any sense, but it was there nonetheless.

After re-reading what I just wrote in this entry, I found two things that happened once again after the 2023 while I was on Genesis. Coincidence or Not?

Now I desire that girl, though, or someone very similar to her. So, my desire for a soulmate with those traits, or probably even better, re-awakened all of a sudden.

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#14

Now I’m watching, for the umpteenth time, a movie that feels like I’m truly observing it for the first time. It’s as if every scene is new because before I was watching it through an invisible, and I’d even say unconscious, mental filter. I’m noticing much more detail and can see things I’ve never noticed before.

The inner dialogue is somehow muted while watching it and so there’s way less filtering, I guess.

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#15

This morning, the sense of smell was pretty strong, and it influenced the perception of the same places I inhabit and walk by in a very evident way. Every scent & smell was a pleasure that I had never experienced before, and it was linked to some kind of feeling & memory.

Also, at some point during my walking time, I sensed my body relaxing into the present moment while being active. Once again, today I witnessed myself being even more talkative than yesterday.

Summertime is getting some real & powerful traction.

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#16

I have the desire to fall in love again. I want to feel like everything is filled with love and joy.

Lately I caught myself remembering the most pleasant inner feelings and emotions of my past and I appreciate even more the favorite songs of many years ago.

I guess, it’s just a matter of focusing on them to keep expanding them slowly because they aren’t out there and dependent on certain situations, people or things but they are inside me. So I can carry them with me in my daily life.

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#17

I’m becoming more aware of the overall tiredness and stress building up in the last 2-3 days.

I don’t know if it’s related to the unusual warmth of the weather for this season we had here or it’s a mix of both overexposure and less time spent on total relaxation.

#18

Even though there was recon the last day or so, I took it as a sign of slowing things down. In the past I would have been very emotional about it but this time I won’t throw the positives away just because of some bad occurrences and feelings.

As I said repeatedly to my clients at the gym, when you’re really tired you don’t stop altogether but just slow down and cut the weights and/or training time up to 50%.

On 30 seconds I feel already more connected to the present moment.

#19

Less exposure is better. Just the minimum effective dose is the right choice.

There’s peace in the background which affects all the other feelings, thoughts and sensory perceptions.

The thing is that it doesn’t remove anything from the inner landscape though. Instead it allows them to stay there for Life to take care of them.

In other news, yesterday I found what could be the “click” I was searching for in order to have definetely more power in manifesting my desires.

It’s a way more natural, sustainable and simple manifesting process.

#20

1 minute of Summertime is too much for me due to the tiredness and full-head buzzing symptoms involved.

I still get some social and authenticity effects but there are too much side effects.

30 seconds are still better but maybe I’ll restart tomorrow with 15 seconds though, to be on the safe side.

The very fact that I want to listen to other titles, it’s a sure sign of recon.

This is a testament of how much powerful is the new tech if just few seconds can produce more recon than heavyweight major subs played with much more exposure.