The Great Khan's Journal

Oh man, that is so true. But ST2 was even harder on me, I would lay down in bed not feeling desire or energy to do anything except let ST2 work on me.

With ST3, I am filled with energy and action.

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Back to ST3 after long hiatus:

Day 6:
Whew, today was my first day back home after taking a long road trip with my friends to wind down the summer. I didn’t get much chance to listen to Khan for the last couple of weeks, so today was my first day back on the wagon.

Some things I noticed. The feeling of drive and purpose I had from the first week of ST3 lowered throughout the trip. By the end of it, I was feeling kind of bored and unsatisfied. Like I wasn’t having enough fun. Also, anxiety went way up as I came off Khan. Doing new things and socializing became harder.

As soon as I popped ST3 back on today, I started feeling like myself again. Driven, focused, and wanting to make the most out of every second of my life. As for anxiety, I don’t want to give anyone the impression that Khan is going to eliminate all uncomfortable feelings. But for me Khan and especially ST3 so far makes me embrace the discomfort and anxiety. It fuels me forward in a completely different way than without subs. Looks like I gotta lot of catching up here to do as well since people are starting ST4 now.

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ST3 (and a little ST2)

Day 7:
With ST3 running again I feel like I want to make the most of every moment of my life. Not enjoying myself feels really painful, so much so that I just have to change. That’s what really sticks out for me. ST3 makes me so focused on making every second of my life better and more fulfilling. Rather than passively going through every day on autodrive, I’m really able to enjoy the process.

I’m a lot more disinhibited on ST3. I want to be as active as I can and that includes expressing a lot of repressed shit. I speak my mind whenever I want and I’m getting over the fears that have stopped me from getting to where I want to be. ST3 gives me that extra push to get over whatever negativity is holding me back to move forward.

I switched back to ST2 at night as ST3 was making way to pumped up before bed. I was avoiding sleep to do more stuff even though I was dead tired. I got a little too much energy before bed so I thought ST2 is a better fit for sleeping.

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ST3 and some ST4

Day 8:
ST3 makes me feel so much more intense. In a good way of course. Like I’m motivated to do so much more. My brain feels totally on with this running. There’s no hesitation when it comes to taking action, I feel like just going whenever I want to. ST3 has been the strongest part of Khan for me when it comes to tackling apathy and being bored. ST3 just makes you want to do stuff, it’s really infectious.

ST4:

Ok, I cheated a bit in my schedule. Since I’ve been doing ST2 at night and ST3 during the day, I was curious what ST4 would do blending them together. Listened to ST3 for a few hours during the evening. For me, the immediate sensation was calm. I felt a strong detachment from results and feeling of relaxation. Compared to ST3, the feeling of drive was less. Hard to compare to ST2 since I didn’t get a strong conscious, feeling from that like I did from ST3. Maybe I’ll try ST4 again tonight and see where to go from here.

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ST4

Day 1:
I made the jump to ST4. It was too good to resist. @AMASH already did a great job in his journal summarizing how ST4 compares to the previous stages of Khan.

What I’m feeling right now is a sense of calm assurance that’s really sweet. I feel like nothing can stop me. Stuff that used to stress me out or bother me, can’t faze me at all right now. For me, ST4 is building an iron determination right now. I already notice the feelings of being discouraged or overwhelmed fading. I wonder just how far ST4 will take me.

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ST4

Days 2-3:
Finding it a lot easier to move forward with my life even when things aren’t always going their best. I can consciously notice now that I’m not panicking like I normally would when things go wrong. Getting over learned helplessness has been a long-standing goal of mine and it’s something ST4 is addressing. Before when something went wrong, I’d have this period of being depressed and defeated where I couldn’t get anything done. That period has been getting smaller and smaller ever since I started Khan. The pain of things not working out is still there, but I’m not letting it stop me anymore.

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Reconsidering how I’m tackling Khan. I felt pretty good after my first few weeks on ST1, but now I get the sense there more negative stuff I need tearing down. I’m going with ST1 while I sleep to continue to get some work done on negative mindsets. I’m actually feeling that running different parts of Khan on the same day works better for me than running one module all day. I mistakenly put on ST2 yesterday instead of my primary focus, ST4 right now, before switching to ST4 later in the day and noticed I felt better than just with straight ST4. Gonna do more listening like this and see where it leads me.

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ST4

Day 4:

Listened to ST4 all day and night. Feeling a little overwhelmed to be honest. Definitely not my best. Feeling optimistic and confident at the start of the day, but much weaker mentally by the end. Will switch back to ST1 over the night. ST4 lives up to its reputation as the strongest module in Khan. I probably need to scale down from 24 hr runs.

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Back to ST1:

Ran ST1 last night and had the craziest experience. Got the most vivid, real-feeling sex dream I’ve ever had. Without getting too graphic, I was on my back and dreamed of a dozen different girls riding the shit out of my cock. It was the actual pornstar experience. I’ve had sex dreams since puberty but nothing as intense as this. The dream felt like it lasted for hours and I woke up expecting a pretty big mess, but it turns out I still woke up with my normal Khan morning wood (as other users have also noted Khan gives you some serious morning wood.) I’ve never investigated lucid dreaming, but maybe I should after last night lol.

Anyways, I took this as a sign maybe I should revisit ST1 some more. ST4 has been really tough on me and mentally exhausting so I’m going to go ST1 for today and maybe longer to heal back up.

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More on ST1:

I got a new speaker recently (I was playing all subs on my old computer speakers before) and I dunno if it’s that or just ST1 shifting the second time around, but I feel so completely calm running it. I still get angry and annoyed, but now I feel more in control about how I choose to respond to that. I’ve had problems being too impulsive and reckless in the past, so the inner peace from ST1 is a big change for me. Biggest upside with my new calmness is that it’s easier to get over failure. I spend less time ruminating and hating myself for stuff that didn’t go the way I wanted and more time moving forward.

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ST1 Revisited

Day 2:

ST1 is erasing my desire to do unproductive shit. I was reading through the free ebook SubClub just put out and it mentioned that the subs are designed to guide your mind rather than force the beliefs of the creators onto you. I get the sense that Khan is directly amplifying the positive parts of my mind rather than forcing new stuff in because of how closely tailored it seems to be with my problems. I’ve had a lot of problems with procrastination and before I tried overcoming it with shear willpower, which kind of worked but often lead to a relapse.

The past couple of weeks I don’t even feel tempted to indulge in my escapist hobbies. For me that includes video games and porn. Too often, I’d turn to those when there were problems in my life, which ended up just making the problems much worse. I wouldn’t say it was that severe, more of an annoying waste of time. If I was stressing about a big test, I’d start playing video games for a few hours before I panicked and actually picked up my notes. If I’m writing a long, personal statement, I’d see a hot girl in a thumbnail and get distracted. Now, my mind just brushes those fears and impulses aside and I can keep focusing.

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ST1 Revisited

Day 3-4:

Small victories are something be thankful for. Whenever something doesn’t go the way I hoped it would, I have a tendency to run through it again mentally over and over. Usually that’s accompanied by a lot of negative self-talk. But these days, my mind’s initial reaction to defeat is different. My mind just tells me that it’ll be better next time. I get these flashes of hopeful, positive thoughts that are new to me. My default mental reaction to hard times is becoming one of optimism rather than defeatism. Sure things still go wrong, but my mind is becoming more equipped to handle it.

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How many days/hours in total did you listen to ST1 on first run, @laughingprince?

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It was 3, almost 4 weeks. I would say I got around 450 hours the first time. I will note I was using poor speakers for some of that time. That includes tablet speakers and even my computer speaker is meh at best. I’ve since upgraded.

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Great, I am considering revisiting ST1 as well at some point.

Great minds think alike :slight_smile:

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Im running khan ST1 x1 and ST2 x4 stack during the day…and limitless all night long during sleep…feeling like im being broken down and remoulded at the same time…I chose this stack to keep it simple…I’ll just let it run and forget about it…Im simple that way

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Yeah, I was thinking about picking up Limitless myself. Seems like a perfect fit with Khan. But just running ST1 all throughout the day, I’m already feeling mentally packed just like when I started Khan.

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decide based on what you wanna achieve…Im using limitless cause I wanna crack 5-6 national level exams in the coming months

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I am having lows on stage 4 which happens for a few days now and again. I have alao contemplated going back to stage 1.

The question i have is you cannot spend months and months healing life is too short. What is everyones thoughts ?

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ST4 so far makes me depressed and slows down my progress on the stuff I’m working on. Maybe that’s a hump I’ll always have to get through, but I’m hoping that it’ll get better with more exposure to ST1. For me it’s about pushing myself really hard when I’m not listening to subs and I can do that with ST1, not yet with ST4.

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