The Great Khan's Journal


#21

Day 14:

Negative feelings are a bit more manageable today. I’m moving towards embracing the struggle of getting over my past trauma, though it’s still uncomfortable as hell. It’s strange, I get the sense that my life is getting better, but I still feel like shit. No pain, no gain I suppose.

Something I noticed today is that people are a lot more eager to talk more me. Several strangers just struck up conversations with me throughout the day. One of them worked for a local company I was looking into and we had a nice chat. Another gave me good advice about how to approach graduate school. Not sure how all of this ties into Khan, but running the sub has improved the sense of flow in my life.


#22

Day 15:

Feeling a stronger push to tackle my fears head-on rather than avoid them. My mind seems to be digging up more and more old, repressed memories. The emotional pain is still there, but it’s easier to deal with as I listen to ST1.

I get the sense that I shouldn’t be moving onto ST2. There’s a lot more healing for me to do and I’ll stick with ST1 for the next couple of weeks until I see a breakthrough.


#23

It’s funny, just today I was thinking it would be valuable to stay with ST1 for longer than 30 days. And I see you mentioning the same, and also read this:


#24

I’ll be interested in seeing how long you eventually end up running ST1. It’ll be the basis for my own healing process.

When I was running ST2 I noticed it was easier than ST1. Less depression and anger. But now that I’m getting a picture from other users, maybe its because ST2 is all about building on top of existing programming so it won’t tear you down like ST1 will. If that’s the case, I think it would be even more important for me to focus on ST1 for a good while longer. Otherwise I’d be building all my new ST2 programming on a shaky foundation.


#25

Day 16:

ST1 has really been opening up the repressed parts of mind. I realized the anger and depression that ST1 brought out of me was always there before, but now I’m able to release it. It’s tough cause a lot of times I’d rather just avoid the bad feelings that get over them, but with Khan I’m empowered to express all the buried negative feelings. It makes me feel vulnerable, but I’m slowly seeing the healing start to kick in to build a stronger me. ST1 has really been doing some really deep digging into my psyche in the last few days and I’m going to continue with it until I feel completely rebuilt.


#26

Day 17:

No big changes, but I’m feeling more in tune with my emotions. I can embrace my feelings fully and without judgement even if they can be unpleasant. This can manifest as anger or irritability sometimes because there have been times where I haven’t stood up for myself or pushed myself to go for what I want. I’d usually just bury these feelings but with ST1 I’m moving in the direction of letting those feelings into my mind to drive me into action without being overwhelmed by negativity.


#27

Day 18:

Moved into the anger phase. I’m releasing all my pent-up emotions. On the upside, it’s way easier for me to be assertive and speak my mind. On the downside, I’m confronting people over anything that bothers me. I feel more aware of my rage and frustration, and more willing to express them.

My mind is starting to clear up. It’s hard to describe exactly, but kind of a feeling of lightness. Like old stuff has been cleared out and I can see things through a new perspective. I’m not as freaked out by my negative emotions (fear, sadness, anger, etc.) as before. I used to bury them because I couldn’t handle dealing with them. Now I can completely let them out. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a struggle. My hand is still healing from a couple of times I punched a wall this week. But I don’t feel overwhelmed anymore. I express the negative shit and I then I get over it. Before I would sit in my pity and self-loathing. Now I release it and move on.


#28

That’s encouraging @laughingprince. Thanks for posting that.


#29

Days 19 and 20:

ST1 has removed a lot of my old fears when it comes to meeting new people. Yesterday I was much more charismatic when hanging out at a party. Talking to people felt effortless. Anxiety when approaching new people was much less. Felt a strong sense of being cool, relaxed, and the life of the party. Came home around 2 am.

Today I’m feeling a deeper sense of calm. Like nothing can bother me. An IDGAF attitude but so much so that I’m questioning a lot of decisions in my life. Borderline apathy at this point. Still feeling tired but not sure if it’s from the lack of sleep I got last night or the subs. The depression from just a couple of days ago has eased somewhat. Dunno how long that’ll last. Maybe it’s just my mind recovering for the next round of rebuilding.


#30

Day 21:

I’m reevaluating a lot of decisions in my life. Finding it easier to detach from my emotions and see what is and isn’t useful for my self-improvement. Extremely exhausted today. Feels like my mind is rebuilding itself on a deeper level. My mind isn’t burdened by old feelings and associations anymore. I’ve noticed that my connection to old memories is changing. Whenever something brings up previous memories, like listening to my favorite music or reading an old book, my mind reinterprets the feelings. Any painful memories that might emerge don’t bother me anymore and I can process them easily.

At this point, I’m actually seeking to dig up old trauma so under the influence of ST1 I can heal it. And when I say “I”, it’s really my subconscious directing me to zero in and deal with unresolved issues.


Honest Review of Khan
#31

Day 22:

Couple of things of positive changes observed today. I got into an argument with a coworker. Now usually I would’ve taken it really personally and run through the argument over and over my head, just staying in anger. Today I was completely unfazed. Nothing the other guy said about me even bothered me. I just shrugged it off and moved on. No stress, no anxiety about the entire situation. Now I’m thinking about how useful this improvement would be in picking up girls. Definitely have to test it out, but I feel like ST1 would be really helpful in dealing with rejection anxiety.

Secondly I seem to be more easily moving my life in the direction I want it go. This one’s kind of tricky to describe, but you see some people who act in very self-destructive ways while others always seem to make the right choices to get what they want. With ST1 I find that my unconscious programming has gotten a upgrade. I feel like my inner voice has developed more ways of helping me to take actions that improve myself.

Of course, the dealing with negative thoughts that comes with ST1 is still there. I’m kind of getting used to it at this point. My mind has always had these self-sabotaging thoughts when things are going really well. It becomes crazy OCD and obsesses whenever anything slightly bad that it’ll ruin everything. Running ST1 has brought these thoughts to the forefront of my mind and I;m slowly processing them. Already they bother me a lot less than they used to. I imagine this is a pretty unique neurosis, but I know all you other Khan users out there are probably dealing with your own specific trauma too.


#32

Day 23:

Today was an easier day, relatively speaking. The struggle Khan’s putting me through is still there but less intense for now. I’m continuing to reevaluate a lot of my decisions. My mind is pushing harder for me change, but change is easier to accept now that a lot of my old hang-ups are healing.

I almost feel drawn to old sources of pain. I want to seek out all my fears and weaknesses so that I can get over them. That’s where the biggest struggle with ST1 has been for me. As my mind brings up an some old trauma, I feel like backing down and regret ever bringing it back into my conscious memory. I feel like hiding and denying the pain, but ST1 pushes me to overcome it and break down all the painful shit holding me back from my goals.


#33

Day 24:

My mind is pushing me to do more with my life. ST1 has removed some of my old fears of taking action and it’s easier to tackle new projects. My first goal is to build up myself physically and ST1 as upped my mental strength so I hit the gym with a lot more intensity. My inner voice is telling me to look into ways to upgrade myself financially and spiritually. Won’t say much more on those two points since I’m just fleshing out my thoughts on both, but ST1 has shaken off the fear of failure that held me back other times I went for self-improvement.

On the financial note, EoG looks very interesting, but given how well Khan is working for me, I don’t want to move on too soon. I’ll probably spend the next couple of months at least just on mental recovery through Khan and focus on physical training before moving onto stronger prosperity.


Honest Review of Khan
#34

Day 25:

Just woke up and had a crazy dream. I was watching my my favorite TV shows from when I was a kid and I suddenly started crying my eyes out. It was one the most intense dreams I’ve had in a long time. And I just kept crying and crying, letting out all that emotion. It felt so real like all the stress from my body was pouring out.

When I woke up, my body felt the exact same relief I felt in my dream. I realized I hadn’t been physically crying since there was no tears on my pillow, but the feeling of opening up my emotions was still there. As I’m writing this, I can still feel the release of expressing all my bottled up feelings and hidden trauma.

ST1 is doing some deep work on me for sure. This is the first time I can consciously feel the sensation of healing and connecting to my deeper self.


#35

Day 26:

Went out hiking with friends. Spent most of the day outdoors. My stamina is much better. I’ve done the same hike before and this time I breezed through it, hardly feel tired. Felt more in tune with myself physically and overall increased focus and awareness of my surroundings. Conversation was again, flowing and effortless.

My friends took notice too. One of them said “Damn, you made the conversation look so easy” after I chatted with a couple of cute girls while waiting for the bathroom of all places. Funnily enough, I wasn’t the one to start talking. I was checking one of them out when she kinda noticed, smiled, and turned around to talk to me.

Since I was out most of the day, I didn’t get the chance to run ST1 nonstop like I usually do. Will see if I feel less tired tomorrow compared to other days.


#36

Day 27:

Much less tired these last couple of days on ST1. Hopefully that’s a good sign that most of the major healing is settling in. Whereas before I felt like relaxing most of the day, now I feel driven to maximize every second of my life. Motivation is through the roof and I’m getting shit down. I feel driven to overcome whatever is holding me back.

Khan is definitely a doozy. ST1 by itself is already pushing me to make major progress in my life. Can’t wait to see how far ST4 will take me, though it’ll probably be a ways away. Planning on sticking for ST1 maybe all through July to make sure I’m fully healed.


#37

Day 28:

Well, June’s over and I’ve been on running Khan for about a month. ST1 has been a big help to my mental game. A lot of my old fears are gone and I’m overcoming the rest faster than ever. Khan was the first sub I tried here so I can’t say how it compares to anything else on offer here, not have I used any boosters yet.

Today was another smooth day. Feeling confident and motivated. The healing process is definitely still going, but the strong negative feelings from earlier weeks have eased. Hopefully I’ve passed the threshold @AMASH mentioned at 200 hours. If anyone is struggling like I was with the anger and depression that comes with ST1, I gotta say it gets better if you can just hang in there.


#38

Thank you @laughingprince

And that is something very important for everyone to realize, so they get the maximum benefits from Khan ST1.


#39

Day 29:

Interesting experience today. I’ve mentioned ST1 has helped me get over my fear of failure so I’m more motivated to go out and tackle shit. Today I felt a strong inner voice telling me to cancel my plans. It wasn’t like the usual laziness driving me to take a day off, but more of a calm, assured pull to reconsider what I was planning on doing today.

Whatever it was, it really helped me dodge a bullet today. I wasn’t in the right stuff state to start on a new project and rushing it would’ve just made it worse. It seems I’m getting more and more in touch with my intuition. Looks ST1 has broken down a lot of barriers in my inner mind stopping me from connecting to my subconscious.


#40

Day 30:

Things seem to be getting less intense. Yesterday was one of those exhausted days for me, but it was nowhere like the earlier anxiety/depression cycles when I first started Khan. I get a stronger sense of improvement with ST1 then I ever have. My mind is driving me straight toward the hard, but rewarding things I’d avoided in the past due to my fear of failure. For now it’s still tough tackling those things, but I can feel the progress I’m making each time I overcome something. Now I see why Khan is targeted as a wealth, sexual, and social subliminal. You really feel driven to go after just about anything you’re missing out on. I have opportunities I’m missing in all three of those categories and ST1 forces me to go after them.