The Empress Within: Chronicles of Self-Mastery and Inner Reign

[TheEmpress]

Day 13 ~ DD & SB full loops

My dreamworld was highly active throughout the night. Pretty sure I woke up briefly in the middle of night. Lots going on in my head!

I taught a private yin yoga class from intuition today. Decided to toss the planned class.

Yesterday I noticed the social scripting coming to life while in a metaphysics shop. I was also extra chatty with the psychologist I’ve been talking to off dating app. We exchanged numbers 2 days ago. He’s actually ten years older than me. I’ve never dated someone that much older than me before. I’ve had crushes on older men on numerous occasions which never went anywhere beyond the initial crush or a little flirting. Most of those men were taken anyways.

I’m grounding under my tree atm.

I just made a video for YouTube doing a pranayama practice. I weaved in the law of assumption reiki and yoga.

My views and subs are rising on there and seeing more traffic on my other platforms.

I’ve had some increase on potential clients reaching out about my prices.

[TheEmpress]

Day 14 ~

My voice has really been connecting to my deeper registers when speaking and my singing voice has improved…

Been singing this today:

- YouTube

Feeling all the feels.

Listened to a RUMI quotes YouTube video and screenshot some that stood out:

[TheEmpress]

Facebook memory of mine:

My own personal traumas led me to wanting to fix the world. I lost myself in it, but not anymore.
Day by day, picking up the pieces and rewriting my story of my life. I may fall sometimes, but I will always carry on!

~me

[TheEmpress]

Day 15 ~ Seductress Full loop

Here’s my YouTube analytics:

[TheEmpress]

Day 16 ~ rest

I feel like I’ve unlocked parts of my Mind that were essentially sleeping… this fame vision doesn’t seem so far fetched or scary anymore…

My parts are coming into greater harmony within… my attitude is shifting…

I am seeing beautiful growth on my YouTube channel and feel my audience is going to grow exponentially, while having the confidence and strength to lead and guide them towards their best lives possible…

I haven’t had any trolling on my socials lately…

"Parabol"

So familiar and overwhelmingly warm
This one, this form I hold now.
Embracing you, this reality here,
This one, this form I hold now, so
Wide eyed and hopeful.
Wide eyed and hopefully wild.

We barely remember what came before this precious moment,
Choosing to be here right now. Hold on, stay inside…
This body holding me, reminding me that I am not alone in
This body makes me feel eternal. All this pain is an illusion.

- YouTube

[Jade8]

@TheEmpress he’s listening to Emperor Daddy

[TheEmpress]

Honestly, that’s what I was thinking

[TheEmpress]

Day 17 ~ DD & SB full loops

Todays vibe:

"Ebb And Flow"

Revive a sense of hope
Amids these abandoned dreams
Rewrite what it is to feel
In hopes it will carry me home

Drift in and out
The light of morning drags me back
I need release
Separate this body from my mind

Send me home

My conscience there to send me off to sleep
When I need you closer
For when I wake I am greeted by shades of grey
I’ll return to you

In dreams, the sun sets in our eyes
In dreams, we’ll never be apart
In dreams, I’ll promise you’ll never be alone
How much I wish your voice could send me home

- YouTube

[TheEmpress]

Last night, I dreamed of things that have weighed heavily on my heart over the years, especially about my ex-fiancé and his family.

Being there every week still hasn’t gotten easier. I often feel like I’m right on the edge, holding back so much I’d like to say. But then I think, what’s the use? Since doing revision and reframing work in 2021, I’ve stayed respectful and polite. Still, I’m far from satisfied with this setup for my youngest daughter.

I can’t imagine doing this for the next 12 years, picking her up at my ex’s parents’ house. In my dream, my ex said his house would be ready soon, and his parents would step back. That’s what I want, to see him trust me again and let me take on the primary parenting role. It’s hard to move forward when I keep holding on to thoughts like these.

Two nights ago, I invited him to a concert next month, but he hasn’t responded. Meanwhile, the psychologist I connected with on the dating app wants to meet tomorrow, and though I was excited, part of me now feels like canceling.

My headspace feels heavy and tangled, though I’m managing. Having time alone to process is helpful. It lets me separate what’s truly mine from what belongs to others.

This morning, I had a release, a tearful drive, listening to a song I shared earlier. I played it on repeat, singing, crying, and letting past memories surface for healing. That’s one of my trauma-informed practices, and I might make a video about it soon.

I still carry fears around being single, wondering if I’ll have to handle everything alone. I know part of this is rooted in my upbringing and my tendency toward hyper-independence. But if I cultivate safety within myself, I know I’d welcome a partner who wants to provide without it making me feel weak.

Edit: it’s like in straddling two timelines: one where him and I are married sharing an empire, and the other where we are just co parents and I am with someone else

Edit: when I trust myself, everything else follows accordingly…

[TheEmpress]

I’m gonna start wash out tomorrow…

Decided to do a full loop of Phoenix to wrap up this lovely cycle…

Today was a big day for me on my healing journey…

My ex fiancé responded declining my invite to a concert…

I choose me… rejection is a blessing…

Gonna go on date tomorrow with the psychologist!

Wish I Could Forget You

[TheEmpress]

I was just reading over my old journal from 2022…. I love the way I was sharing my experiences while listening to og Stark… wonder how that upgrade will be!

[TheEmpress]

Wash out season

Last night was something else!

I had a social opportunity and went for it…

I met the psychologist from dating app… he was supposedly already near the cafe long before me , yet arrived like 15 minutes late…

While I was waiting for him I was getting many stares from others… I did have my Elmo costume on though… I sparked up convos with strangers!

This one guy kept looking at me and being all winky faced… he said “Elmo wants to play!”

Another person said “Elmo needs to shed some skin!”

A girl stopped me on the street to compliment my septum piercing…

I brought my date to meet some friends for Mexican food… I was super social with people I’ve never met before…

We went to my friends bands show that does warped tour covers… I was dancing and singing more than ever… it felt so liberating…

The psychologists dating profile said he was 5’8” but he seemed shorter in person… I am 5’3” and that’s a fairly significant height difference to me… my ex fiancé is 5’8” I am quite familiar with that height… his profile also said he was 44, but when he told me his full birthday it turns out he’s 46…

At the end of the night we parted ways with a hug… he proceeded to call me and say his hybrid vehicle wasn’t starting and wanted company… I was surprised he didn’t think of a solution on his own? It felt like I came to the rescue… My dad taught me well with many things in life and car things is one of them… resourcefulness in these types of jams…

There’s a thing called 24 hour road side assistance for certain motor vehicle companies and Ford is definitely one of them…

Anyways, the tech wasn’t coming for hours so he told me to go…

I noticed his breathing was a bit shallow and fast… that bothered me…

He made a comment on how the day was expensive… that bothered me!

I had fun regardless of that date… proud of myself…

I met my friends girlfriend and we really clicked…

End of the night photos:

[TheEmpress]

Costar:

[TheEmpress]

So yesterday when heading back to the city to meet up with friends for dinner, I saw the winky faced man from night before at cafe. That’s funny!

My dream world is so bizarre. It’s like I’m semi lucid and it’s just a bunch of fearful non sense. Feels like I am taking out the trash one sleep at a time!

I sent the psych date a long message making suggestions to change his dating profile to his actual age and height because people value honesty. I was kind and bold with my message. He received it well.

[TheEmpress]

[TheEmpress]

Lately, I’ve noticed a huge change in myself. I’ve become so much more animated! It feels like I’m coming alive in new ways, like there’s this inner spark that’s finally found its way out. I express myself with bigger gestures, more intense expressions, and a level of energy that just feels natural now. In conversations, I’m more engaged and excited, and I can see how it lifts the energy of people around me too.

This shift feels freeing, like I’m letting go of any filters or reservations that held me back before. I feel more authentic, more me, and I love that people respond to it positively. Instead of holding back, I’m embracing every emotion and letting it flow out naturally. It’s empowering to realize that being animated isn’t “too much”; it’s my way of connecting more deeply and bringing more passion to my life and relationships. This is who I am, and it feels amazing!

[TheEmpress]

I really do enjoy the synergy between DD, SB and Seductress, while also feeling like another cycle of Phoenix would do me some good… not sure what to do there…

I wanna resume listening today. I’m not dropping DD or SB this cycle… using those for the remainder of year for sure!

Maybe I could alternate seductress and Phoenix on alternate listening day.

For example:

Day 1: DD & SB
Day 2: Rest
Day 3: Seductress
Day 4: Rest
Day 5: DD & SB
Day 6: Rest
Day 7: Phoenix
Day 8: Rest
And so on….

@AnswerGroup @Malkuth @Lion would this be ridiculous or possibly amazing? I know my limits and see this as being somewhat experimental…

[Lion]

As you know, this is technically a 4 title stack. Go in with your eyes open, try it for a week or two and see how it feels. After that, you can make your decision.

[TheEmpress]

I’m open to other suggestions…

Maybe I don’t need to listen to Phoenix again or maybe seductress could use some blooming again since it’s been my long-term sub for over two years I think!

[Lion]

@TheEmpress

I’m open to other suggestions

Run Phoenix solo for a cycle and resume your Seductress + ASBR + DD stack.