So the ick of HS is worth running eh?
It brings me ick most times. Except the last time or two.
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Yeah it’s worth it, but definitely not easy! 
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We may find a strange pleasure (often unconscious) in the suffering we witness, as it mirrors the pain we’ve carried within ourselves. There’s a dark comfort in it, a familiar echo of struggles we’ve known all too well. To be without that pain feels unfamiliar, as though we’re missing a part of ourselves that we’ve been conditioned to carry. Without it, we might feel lost, disconnected, or unsure of who we are. But in truth, it opens the door to healing, allowing us to reclaim the peace we’ve always deserved.
Being a hero or a caretaker often stems from identifying with suffering—whether our own or others’. We feel drawn to rescue, fix, or protect because it resonates with the pain we’ve experienced or witnessed. There’s a certain power in this role, a sense of purpose, but it can also trap us in a cycle where the struggle feels necessary, defining who we are.
To step away from the pain or the need to save others can feel disorienting, as though we’ve lost part of our identity. Without the suffering to propel us, we might question who we are or what our purpose is. However, by releasing the hero’s role, we create space for healing and self-discovery. True peace arises when we no longer need to carry others’ burdens to feel valuable, and instead, we embrace the quiet, restorative power of simply being.
We don’t need to carry others’ burdens to feel important, needed, or fulfilled. By assuming that others can and will handle their own challenges, we free ourselves from the weight of their struggles. Through the law of assumption, we can shift our belief to trust that they will find their own path, just as we are finding ours. This shift not only lightens our load but also empowers others to grow and take responsibility for their own journey. 
My thoughts:
I am a confident, purposeful, and driven woman, committed to my path of success and building a lasting legacy. I understand the truth, the law, and the ways of the universe. I expect the same level of openness and growth from my partner to evolve together on this journey. I refuse to settle for mediocrity or anything that isn’t in alignment with my vision.
I’m committed to striving for greatness, living with purpose, and continuously growing through ongoing learning and studying that fits the highest version of myself. I believe in reaching for the highest version of myself, and I expect the same from those around me, especially my partner.
Mediocrity has no place in my life or my relationships. I will not lower my standards or compromise my worth for anyone.
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Final stack of the year has begun today:
Genesis Mogul
Stark Black
HoT
Listening to GM & SB and alternating listening days with HoT.
Looking forward to seeing what’s coming with the upgrades to Seductress and EoG.
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Day 3 ~ HoT full loop
In intimate romantic relationships, I often find that conflicts can arise when my partner isn’t at a similar level of understanding or self-awareness. I value resolving issues through self-reflection and personal accountability, and I believe that conversations should help clarify and create understanding rather than place the burden of resolution on one person.
However, I’ve noticed that when I take the lead in conversations—especially if I feel more confident doing so—my partner may feel that it’s not balanced or fair. They might assume there’s a double standard or even resentment, which isn’t the case at all. For me, leading the conversation comes from a place of wanting to guide things productively, not from wanting control or dominance. It can be challenging when they misinterpret this dynamic and assume there’s an imbalance, when in reality, I feel it’s simply about playing to our strengths to work through challenges together. My intention is always to create a healthy, open dialogue, not to take over or diminish their role in the relationship.
One loop of HS really took me for a deep dive!
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Day 4 ~ rest
My YouTube channel is booming! Got 100s of views overnight and like 25 new subscribers! Lots of comments and engagement.
Just scripted my next video to film after coaching clients session.
I was stirred up in therapy last night. I feel like the therapist was projecting on me a bit.
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I’ve posted this elsewhere in the forum, so you might have already seen this. It is a good article that ties in with Julia’s quote posted above. It explains a lot of things.
Day 7 ~ HoT full loop
I am experiencing some recon from GM over the last 12-15 hours and working through it.
A sigma female is often described as an independent, self-reliant, and introspective woman who does not conform to traditional social hierarchies or societal expectations. She is characterized by her quiet confidence, strong sense of self, and ability to navigate life on her own terms without seeking validation from others. Here are some key traits often associated with a sigma female:
Key Traits:
1. Independence: Prefers to rely on herself rather than depending on others for emotional or financial support.
2. Introverted Nature: Often introspective and comfortable spending time alone, yet capable of meaningful connections with others when desired.
3. Confidence Without Flashiness: Secure in her abilities and self-worth, but doesn’t feel the need to boast or seek attention.
4. Selective Social Circle: Chooses her relationships carefully, prioritizing quality over quantity.
5. Resilient and Adaptable: Handles challenges with strength and adapts to new situations without losing her sense of identity.
6. Purpose-Driven: Focused on achieving her goals and living a life that aligns with her values, rather than following societal norms.
7. Mysterious Aura: Often seen as enigmatic or hard to pin down, which can make her intriguing to others.
While she doesn’t fit neatly into traditional social archetypes like the alpha or beta female, the sigma female thrives in her unique way, charting her path with grace and determination.
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Day 9 ~ GM & SB Full Loops
Today, I’m processing a wave of emotions as I work through some “blocks.” I’m feeling a powerful surge of confidence in my true self—unapologetically owning who I am.
The guy I’ve been talking to has triggered me several times now. Last night, he said, “I’ve done nothing to deserve this,” claiming I was being snappy with him. It all started when I explained that my teenager had just gotten home from his dad’s, and I had to help him reorganize his high school papers into a new binder—an overwhelming mess. I followed up with a simple “bleh,” and he questioned why I said that. To me, it seemed pretty obvious. 
I sent an audio message in a babyish voice to show how I felt a person would sound and act when saying something like that. He asked if I was mocking him, and I explained that I was just demonstrating how his words came across to me.
This is where I can be a bit of a [moderator edit: you did it… again.].
His responses became short after that, so I put my phone on airplane mode and went to bed.
This morning, I woke up feeling inspired with new content ideas. I listened to my subs and took my time getting ready. I did a card reading and reiki on myself, and shed a few tears.
I received a donation from one of my YouTube subscribers today.
In less than a week, I’ve gained over 400 new subscribers on my channel.
Also, a previous potential reiki client reached out again for a session, and after asking her to prepay, she did!
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Godlike Masculinity? Damn, respect gurl.
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Genesis Mogul 
No need to hide it. You just have the balls to run Godlike Masculinity 
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Honestly, I feel like I would have the balls to listen to that. Thanks for the acknowledgement and encouragement.
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HoT has been helping my hair be more cooperative with styling my waves
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Hawt!
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Day 10 ~ rest day
Lots of processing in dreamland for me. Not much recall. I am glad! 
One of my IG reels got 1K views overnight which is unusual lately for a lot of people on IG. I decided to reject that belief recently.
Organic and natural growth and expansion are my jam!
The power of my beliefs and assumptions always!
Here’s something I wrote as a post for my socials today:
Growth, Grace, and Alignment: Embracing Self and Releasing Judgment
Growth is something the plant world does effortlessly when the conditions are right. When a plant’s needs are met, it flourishes and aligns with its full expression. The same is true for us as humans—but we often perceive growth as much harder because we face more complex challenges and self-doubt. However, it doesn’t have to be this way. When we align with our true selves, growth can flow as naturally as it does for the plants.
Some days are harder than others. Some days, things don’t go according to plan. Growth is like that—it’s not always linear, and there are times when we need to revise our approach or expectations. Just like a plant that faces unexpected weather or a shift in its environment, we too can adapt, revise, and continue to grow, even if things don’t unfold as we initially imagined.
Right now, I am writing an erotic romance novel—something I didn’t expect to do. When I first began, I had so many doubts. I wondered, “What will people think?” and “Will I be judged because of my holistic personal development business?” Protective parts of me tried to keep me safe from vulnerability and criticism. But as I’ve learned through the law of assumption and Internal Family Systems (IFS), I can choose to release those fears.
IFS is a therapeutic approach that helps us understand and work with the different parts of ourselves. We all have parts—some protective and some exiled. Protective parts step in to shield us from pain, fear, or past trauma, but they can also hold us back. These parts might cause self-doubt or make us avoid situations that feel risky or unfamiliar. Exiled parts, on the other hand, are the vulnerable parts of us that hold pain and emotions we’ve pushed aside. The key to growth is learning to embrace all these parts with compassion, while allowing our true self to lead us forward.
The assumptions we hold about ourselves shape our reality. Instead of fearing judgment, I’ve chosen to believe that my creativity and authenticity will inspire others, not invite criticism. Writing this novel, balancing parenting, and running my business has been a beautiful reminder of how much I’ve grown and how far I’ve come.
Sometimes setbacks, failure, or confusion can make us feel stuck, deflated, or alone. We want to close our eyes, harden our hearts, and retreat to protect ourselves. But Campanula, as a guide, asks us to do the opposite. She encourages us to open our hearts wider, to feel deeply, and to move through the pain so that it can be released.
When we close our eyes to the world or harden our hearts, we shut ourselves off from the beauty of growth. We lose sight of where we’re going, and we become part of the collective suffering instead of moving through it and growing.
Campanula is here to cheer you on: Keep going. Keep going. Open your eyes wide, feel with your tender heart, and align your thoughts, words, and actions with your true self—the self that knows exactly what to do.
As I’ve embraced the process of growth, I’ve aligned myself more with my true self. I see how every challenge, even those that once felt like setbacks, has taught me resilience and self-trust. I am rewriting my story, and I know I can do this because I trust myself.
Ask yourself today:
• Are old assumptions or fears holding you back from aligning with your true self?
• What small, loving actions can you take today to embrace your growth and authenticity?
Affirm: I am aligned with my highest and best good. I move through challenges with grace, knowing I am always growing and evolving.
You are the creator of your reality. Every small step you take, every aligned thought and action, leads you toward your fullest potential. Keep going. Your courage to grow and express your truth is inspiring.
Keep going. You’ve come so far, and the journey is just beginning.
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