The difference between I must and I choose


A little tidbit from a program I was going through earlier. How often do you say “I must talk to more girls”, “I must eat healthier”, etc.? What if you replaced “I must” with “I choose”. I understand the personal power in using those words for your future actions. Go forth and be great :slight_smile:

What other perspective shifts have changed your modalities? Would love to know what’s had an impact for you!


“I am” is better than “I choose” which is better than “I must”.


I respectfully disagree. Let’s use the example “I must talk to more girls”. In your example, it would become “I am talking to more girls”. But what if that is a lie? Your conscious mind understands that it’s a lie and dismisses it. But if you say “I choose to talk to more girls”, you’re now declaring power over the situation. You are stating clearly your needs and desires for yourself in a way that owns them without trying to fool the (sub)conscious with false “I am” statements in the hopes that you will act.


The best one I’ve heard is when someone told me:

Never decide to do something. Think for a moment of all the words you know that end with -cide.

Not so pretty, is it?

The -cide part means cutting something off. In the case of decide it means cutting off your options, your alternatives.

Instead, always choose to do something. That way, you can always choose to do something else. You can also choose to do nothing right now and that’s okay. It’s your conscious choice.

A great leader chooses his direction, believing with absolute conviction that it is the correct one. If he’s proven wrong, he will simply choose another direction, but he’s still correct. :wink:

The power of choosing that Neuro refers to is evident two paragraphs above in choosing to do nothing.

If you must do something, you will feel bad and guilty every time you have the opportunity and fail to take it.

If you choose to do something, you can choose not to do so right now. And your subconscious will accept that choice. At some point it will remind you that you wanted to do it, simply because if you’re never going to do it, you may as well make room in the memory banks. It wants to give you the option of letting it go by confronting you with it.

In Getting Things Done, David Allen uses the example of a garage full of junk. You put an item on your ToDo list that states “Clean up garage.” Next time you walk by the garage, your subconscious reminds you to clean it. You can then either feel guilty when you leave the garage without cleaning it, or okay with it because you chose to do it another day.

The difference? When you choose to, you are communicating to your subconscious that it’s what you want right now. If you say nothing but try and ignore it and hope your subconscious didn’t notice, think again.