The chronicles of Invictus and ZP

Journals - Major Programs
#623

Today was a test day.

Watched the new Spider-Man movie, exceeded my expectations for sure.

In other news, I have started getting that Sultan effect going on again, like I saw this one hoodie randomly, liked it and thought about buying it, and my dad called me at the time to tell me about how I have to pick up my mom and sister from some place at night (because he didn’t feel like driving to pick them up), so me being the dickhead I am :rofl: I told him jokingly “get me the hoodie and I’ll pick them up for you, service charge”, he asked how much was it and I thought he was joking, so I told him then he hung up, and exactly a minute later, I see a text from the bank saying that my sad transferred some money for the hoodie :rofl::rofl::rofl:

So hey, new hoodie :sunglasses:

Oh and just a sidenote, I used to wear large sized hoodies from this brand, but it seems like this one was a bit tighter than usual (large in relaxed fit is supposed to be loose on me), so I decided to come home to check if my other hoodies (same size, same brand) are fitting that way, and they’re tight as well (specifically around shoulders and chest), so ladies and gentlemen, I have now entered the XL zone, and if any gymrat is reading this, then y’all know how good it feels when you’re bulking and go up in clothing size :heart_eyes:
So yeah, WZP without Spartan is much better for my bulking goals :sunglasses:

4 Likes
#624

@SaintSovereign I know I asked about this during the testing period (and didn’t get an answer :frowning:), but I wanted to ask again;

Is there a possibility of feeling a duality inside you when you run more than one personality/archetype sub?

Because sometimes I have this feeling inside me when I interact with my girl or other female friends, where it’s as if WZP wants me to “pull away” and be a bit cold, while as Chosen says “no, expand your warmth”, which ends up making me consciously choose which “side” I wanna make more dominant :thinking:

I’ve been thinking about this for quite some time, but today it felt a bit too obvious when it was happening and I did experiment by choosing WZP’s archetype when we were driving to the mall, and Chosen’s when we were on the drive back.

One drive ended up with road head and some DJ Invictus action, while the other drive was full of deep lovey dovey conversations (Both times I felt her vibe change with the “decision” I made).

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Main Disc. Thread - Quintessence: Zero Point (Experimental) (Part 1)
Main Disc. Thread - Quintessence: Zero Point (Experimental) (Part 1)
#625

Just got done with my loops for today, Chosen first, then WZP, as I want to make Chosen’s archetype to be the more prominent one.

But starting tomorrow, it will be the start of my washout.

I just noticed that I have actually not paid enough attention to the fact that I started my stack a few days before the preview started for everyone, so I should have started my washout yesterday, but only remembered now because someone liked one of my old posts in this journal (I’ll take that as a sign :sweat_smile::joy:), so starting tomorrow, I’ll be on my 5 days washout, and start my stack again from 25th of December.

This should also bloom my stack, which will be pretty interesting to observe, as I did change My 3rd sub in the stack around 3 times (only listened to mogul once though), so we shall see why happens :grin:

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#626

Oh god all of subclub will be on one massive washout. It’ll be like 5000 girls all linking up their periods at the same time and going crazy in unison.

Brace yourself.
Recon is coming.

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#627

Washout day 1:
A realization? Or just a sign of confirmation? :thinking:

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#628

The fact that I was joking about this exact thing with some girls last night, is already crazy :rofl:

We’re syncing bro :rofl:

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#629

Ahahahahaha :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
I’m laughing because I feel like my subconscious is more aware of everything than I am :rofl:

It’s barely the first day of washout, and I’m already getting the type of recon I got on ZP before, which was me questioning reality :sweat_smile::rofl:

I took a shower and saw my face, and the feeling of “that’s not me” is very strong today :sweat_smile:, moreover, things seem different and not how I remember them, for example, I remember CTRL + 5 were the keys I’d use to refresh a webpage, but for some weird reason it wasn’t working, and then somehow I had this “knowledge” that made me press FN + F5, which refreshed the page :exploding_head::exploding_head::exploding_head:

Am I losing my mind? Nah.
Reality shifts? Yes.
Recon? Yes.
Weird? Very.
Hotel? Trivago.

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#630

You got a laugh from me so + 1 like :joy:
didn’t you made that joke already tho ? If that’s the case you made my alzeimer laugh too :joy: :joy:

It’s a bit weird that this effect persist after this much time ? Maybe it’s due to a lot of micro physical change that you’re not totaly aware of and the sums of all of them makje you feel weird about your face ?

Is this like just something you say to yourself or is it more an anchored feeling ?
could it be possible that somwaht you don’t feel deserving of those change or attached to your previous general apparence, even tho you prefer this one ?

What you mentioned in your dream make’s me feel that it must be linked in someway

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#631

yes i did :rofl:

this is probably the reason, as I only realized earlier when i was out that my TMJ clicking is 99% gone :partying_face:

more like, I’m more used to it, and I remember that last night while working out, there was a moment where negativity was coming out to make me push harder (I mean, i don’t usually aim to squat heavy, but I easily did 90kg for 3x5 and was contemplating just doing the whole 100kg instead).
but yea, in a way, deep down I still have some negativity tied to my looks, because one thing people here don’t really hear enough of from me is that up until the end of 2020, I was not how i am today or been this year.

you guys see and read about all the results I’m getting and some of you even have said at times that they wanna live my life with a similar stack, but like, I have been through a lot.

in fact, this Friday is my birthday and I already feel off because I was reminded about how the first girl I ever truly loved, cheated on me on my 18th birthday with one of my closest friends at the time, how do you think a person would feel on his birthdays after that?
or the fact that my last ex apparently cheated on me over 10 times (she was studying abroad) during the 2 years we were together and even had a train ran on her during her first semester of uni, and then later on, 2 days after I broke up, I found out that more than 60% of the things she told me throughout the relationship were just lies (lying about her family, a past relationship, lied to her friends saying I forced her into the relationship, etc.).

so yeah, I’ve only healed this year and the most amount of healing I went through was during the ZP test, which is why I always want to express a hella lot of gratitude towards @SaintSovereign and @Fire, because I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for my girl and SubClub.

so yeah man, probably going through some more deep healing since she also appeared in my dream.

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#632

OOOOF. That hurts man. I’m sorry to hear that. Similar thing happened to me and it took me years to recover from that. That was probably what started me down my journey of personal development in the first place… my ex never had a train ran on her, but she cheated on me with one of my best friends while we were dating, immediately started dating my other best friend the moment her and I broke up… obviously neither of them were good friends, but she really went for the jugular with who she chose to sleep with. Everything else you’re saying hits 100% close to home. Lied about me in the relationship said I was abusive. Cheated on me 10ish times.

You’re lucky you’ve got subliminals so soon after this happened! But even without them, you’d end up being okay. Time definitely heals those wounds and you realize that the pain is actually part of what fuels your power, it’s what reminds you to set boundaries, have high standards, validate that girls are in your league before randomly giving them all your affection… things that simultaneously protect you and girls find Alpha.

You already know this but I didn’t realize we had that in common and I hope it one day becomes a source of power for you. I’m 26, this happened when I was 17, and at this point I can say it was a defining moment in my life and I love my life.

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#633

Hey man, thanks for the kind words, it was a very “roller coaster” type of a day yesterday (emotionally) to be honest, especially with the dream, and then opening up more.

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#634

Day 2 of washout:

Had another weird dream today, except today it involved my girlfriend taking off her hijab (head cover) for good, and when I asked her why, she responded saying that she wants me to see her more for who she is truly, especially in public, and so that I don’t end up leaving her for another girl.

The more I think about it, the more I feel like the dreams are indicative of my use of WANTED, just don’t understand what do they actually mean.

But today I woke up with quite a bit of pressure in the middle of my forehead, that is still present, so I’m going to take some painkillers for my headache now.

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#635

That is pretty common. If your girl goes to study abroad for a year or more (especially if she goes to Europe or the US), just let the relationship go. She will definitely do something sexual. She knows that it might the only opportunity she gets to finally try those things she heard about but never dared trying because of societal pressure. Now that no one is watching, of course, she’ll go wild. I’ve seen it times and again.

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#636

It’s funny because so many of my friends were telling me this exact same thing back when she was about to leave, and me being the naïve boy I used to be, kept saying “no it will workout somehow”…

I feel ashamed by that now :sweat_smile:

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#637

You live and you learn. No need to feel ashamed. Shame is pretty much useless anyway :stuck_out_tongue:

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#638

I can relate to that but always remember she took a major loss here. She lost out on a WINNER

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#639

@Hoppa @Ice

Thank you guys, I guess it’s just a bit more deep healing going on here, with some bloom, as I’m feeling much better now and realize that low value behavior just ain’t my style :sunglasses::call_me_hand:t4:

On a sidenote: strong desire to drop chosen after the washout :thinking:

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#640

Growth is all about looking at your past self and facepalming yourself.

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#641

Oho ? An idea why this desire is emerging ?

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#642

Strictly some spitballing here, some on the fly speculation on my part:

Perhaps the “shadow” wishes for a turn. Or maybe it’s time for some self focus. Chosen seems to be somewhat geared toward the outer and it could just be a desire to focus more inner. And if something wishes to be expressed maybe that outer stuff sort of hinders the fullest expression. They say everything is a cycle, and ebb and a flow etc.

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