The Achiever vs The Surrenderer - Jim's Journal

Some modules are already working since I listened to my custom 2 day’s ago. For instant:

  • I cleaned my appartement after 8-9 hours of working while being tired. Definitely Victory calls working with Eye of the Storm
  • Made a plan for my workday today, normally I just go and see what I need to do. It makes me more at ease and relaxed that I know what to do. Organization Perfect is working here.
  • Getting this Urge to make a clear Morning and evening Routine that I can follow. The other funny part is that I don’t have the desire to go train in the morning. Running and walking I still do, but going to the gym takes to much time. It also becomes more difficult to fast when I’m doing weightlifting in the morning. Machine action at work
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I received such an amazing insight about my life right now by asking the right questions.

When I had my business, 2 things went wrong. First and foremost, in my administration and planning, there was none. I was working for a school that hired me as a coach, but I did not prepare well and just flowed with it. This is a recurring thing in my life, just flowing through life without really preparing or doing the hard work. Nothing wrong with that, but to achieve high-quality achievements, you have to put in high-quality work. Doesn’t mean I have to grind or work hard, but I have to work smart and efficiently. That’s exactly the thing I’m learning in this job and it’s pissing off the weaker side of me. Combine that with teaching subjects I’m not always interested in or doing things I don’t agree with. Makes the anger come out, it feels unfair.

To elaborate a bit more on the subject. I will never be happy working for somebody else :joy: Look, I had an employer before this work at a Gym. His name was Lawrence, such a kind and supportive soul. He was even trying to help to give me cliënts for my coaching business at the time. I screwed that up because of hidden beliefs, but that’s a story for another time. But even working for him, felt for me like “Nope, I need to create something for myself”. Back then I had the perfect ground to build my business, but there was still so much shit to go through internally, that had to be fixed first.

While working and living in this new place, I learn so much about myself and who I am trying to become. I think it will even take more years for me to really cultivate the ideas and passions I have inside of me. It’s my responsibility to be patient, at that is very difficult for me, because I have such a broad view of how life could and should be.

Right now I’m still in Kindergarten, I’m experiencing life in many different forms and ways. The sooner I accept that the more I feel the joy of living.

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Great day agian!

I was checking up my students examens and they really put in the work. They tried to put the things I told them in class into their essay’s. Lovely!

Was fun to do for the first time. Giving feedback and what not.

“Don’t make a distinction between work and play. Regard everything that you are doing as play, and don’t imagine for one minute that you’ve got to be serious about it.” ~ Alan Watts

This is why the first 2 day’s sucked and the last 2 day’s were awesome at work. I was playing, having fun, and not taking my job so seriously. Slept better tonight, and feel much more energized. It’s crazy what a switch in the state of mind can you.

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Taking a big wash-out right now, I’m somewhere around day 14. This custom was really kicking my ass.

Something I figured out the last couple of days.
The way people in my inner circle word certain sentences is something that truly hurt me. I ask a buddy of mine while I’m very busy to hang out. His response was “Yeah but I have so much to do” it’s the same thing with my girl. I think we see each other once or twice a week? Sometimes once in 2 weeks. Not that this bothers me, I’m a busy guy myself. But for me, I’ll make an effort to see each other at least once a week. Apparently, that’s not normal Am I needy or clingy here that I find it normal to still see my friend once in 4-6 weeks and see my girl once a week?

I’m getting completely lost about people lately. That old voice of “Nobody gives a fuck about you” is coming back. I know this ain’t true, this is the abandoned child in me. But damn is it really that hard to make an effort for each other? Maybe I need to heal myself a bit more but this is pissing me off.

@RVconsultant Would you be so kind to close this Journal? :+1: