Testing the limits - Building confidence (Featuring Limit Destroyer)

Helllooo everyone, been a few months I haven’t journaled in a bit. Recently I’ve stopped completely Prozac and Wellbutrin, reduced by a lot my caffeine consumption, started taking some big T booster, I did a small cycle of three weeks of Tamoxifen to boost my LH which was low…

Basically, this is my custom :

Custom
  • Stark Core
  • Primal Seduction Core

Positivity Matrix :

  • Negativity Displacer
  • Divine Self Image
  • Inner Voice
  • Merger of World

Manifestation Matrix :

  • Divine Will
  • Dominion
  • Yggdrasil
  • Gorgeous Manifestor

Attration Matrix :

  • Temptation
  • Earthshaker - Sexuality
  • Ethereal Presence
  • Entranced
  • Approachability Aura
  • Alexander’s Play

Success Matrix :

  • Joie de vivre
  • Natural Winner
  • Furious Ascent
  • Iron Frame

My goals with this stack is to :

  • Re-gain sexual confidence in myself. Than I am an attractive man.
  • Build a positive mindset and trust myself that I deserve good shit in life

As you might see, these thoughts were beliefs that have been created during my depression. And now, even if my mind is fine, I still need to get rid of those shitty fear to live my life. I spoke to my father few days ago about wanting more and he told me that everyone in the family is not taking lot of risk, and usually have linear carrer haha, and I kinda realised that year, looking at my uncles and aunts, cousins, I can see everyone not going too far out of their comfort zone xD

Edit : 23-06-2022, 12 days after starting my stack. I have a feeling my custom works on too much “outer” elements. While adding a loop of wanted to my stack (custom+LD+Wanted), I’ve noticed a better acceptance of myself. I am now wondering if my custom is really the sub for me. I will keep researching on the forum and trying subs to find the right one.

Edit : 26-06-2022, I ran 1 loop of Khan st4 yesterday with limit destroyer. I feel like Khan st4 might help me attain all my goals because of it’s profound alpha scripting. I also tryed to have sex last friday and I couldn’t get it up for the… I don’t know anymore seems like I am conditionned that sex - > Fear. Khan helped me with sex back in the day because of the cutting of external validation. I will also start to meditate.

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I actually started my first loop yesterday.

Few things to report : the first day I had lots of recon, anger toward the world how it’s skewed to castrate us. I went to the gym yesterday and the guy at the entry talked to me and told me some story about a wierd guy taking pics of the gym from the outside… And he just decided to photobomb… This is out of the ordinary for my current me.

Then, I went out in the park with a friend today, we talked all day, I was checking some girls out, I notice my social anxiety is lower, I’ll have to observe it and report on it later. Had good talks, had fun, met a friend of his, introduced myself to her (which I had lost the havit of doing for a long time, but the lower social anxiety made me do it).

When coming back home, I sneezed while coming out of the subway and two guys yelled bless you from further away (two separate guys, they were not together), I yelled thank you back… This really demonstrate my lower social anxiety, knowing I can express myself without fearing people checking me out! I’m impressed after only 1 loop :star_struck: I feel like the healing I did last few cycles and limit destroyer I’m running this time are going to push through my scared ass.

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Did my loops this morning.

Hard to tell exactly what is happening. Every night I go to sleep I see myself talking to girls, actually I see memories of me back in the days when I was very forward with girls. Also seeing some stuff I’ve done which were akward and I regret. All of this was keeping me up last night. Also I feel frustrated and scared regarding how I will make money, the corporate world scares me a bit in the sense that there is a risk I might get in a job I don’t like with people I don’t like pressured to work more as I am burned out and don’t have the energy to look for new jobs. That’s dark for me.

The module Merger of world is really helping me see what’s happening in my mind, where the process is currently regarding healing.

I had some brain fog today, might be because of overloading, I will see how the mental clarity in in the next few days… I might do Limit destroyer 1 day and custom the other… Then, I will probably add 5 minutes of Rebirth or GLM the days I listen to limit destroyer :slight_smile:

My stack will probably look something like this :
Day 1 : Custom
Day 2 : Rest
Day 3 : GLM + Limit destroyer
Day 4 : Rest

And so on.

My goal is to remove my limitations, but I need my mind sharp and in a good mood, so I need to balance the listening time. Not going out of my place today so no external things happening except my thoughts.

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I’m still thinking, analyzing.

This morning I realized partly why I had so much recon. Being a man, masculinity is something a lot of people want. But you have to pay a price for it.

People will criticize you, some in very harsh and cold ways. Making your choice, your decisions means people will look at you and maybe not like you, maybe they’ll feel threaten by you. It’s a burden you have to carry if you want to be more masculine, live by your value.

Also, responsability. Taking responsability is hard, knowing that the pizza you ate is 100% your responsability, your body, your money. It’s hard.

I have to keep exploring this avenue, but I have a choice to make soon.
Edit : Made me notice how I’ve never had any masculine models.

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Today I noticed the effect of Negativity Displacer, I was walking in the street after letting my car to the mechanic (like 6 min walk from my place), and I had anxious thoughts because of the way I was dressed (working from home so I’m in sweatpants), I was thinking about what people would think of me and all these things.

First of all, I would of probably not notice all these thoughts without Merger of worlds, which is fantastic. But immediatly when I felt the negative emotion coming up (anxiety), I told myself some calming thoughts like “It’s going to be all right”, “nobody is going to hate you”, “You are only going to drop your car for repair, it’s not a big deal”… Which stopped the anxiety from building up on the spot!

:+1:

P.S. I also notice there are more girls where I go. Not necessarly the hottest all the time, but I see way more young girls :wink: (I mean between 20 and 30).

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So, I’m not going out tonight, but my roommate’s friend is at my appartment. I’m sure my roommate told a lot of shit about me… BUT, I just talked with her for an hour. This is a combinaison of my custom which explain the results I am sure.

Truly, she has a boyfriend, before anyone tells me to try some stuff (I know you guys here!!)

Pretty cool for me being able to do that. My social game has been off these times so I’m not in the best shape regarding all this. I just asked her a question and everything started.

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Ran my loop of GLM and Limit destroyer this morning, except some tiredness, I feel good.

I’ll have to check if this is due to overexposure or just randomly tired… But I feel I have less energy than last week.

Going to the Gym tonight, for now I don’t have anger compared to what I had in the past few days using subs.

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Good recon today also, woke up feeling sad. Went to the gym.

Limit destroyer is definitly changing some stuff in me even if it’s not all conscious.

I went to the pharmacy and I was sure the cashiere was looking at me. I felt sexier even if I’m mid recon.

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Small update with my custom and limit destroyer

My social anxiety is a lot lower. I was able to let go a lot more than previously, make jokes and all.

Divine self image seems to be working for that.

Also, my anxiety for the future is a lot lower.

Edit : I also want to explain why I chose limit destroyer. I’ve been on subclub for a few years now and have experienced amazing results. The thing is, I tend to fall back in bad thoughts patterns which crumbles my results. I lack some beliefs to protect me from keeping my gains.

In the limit destroyer, which is highly focused, there is a part that is exclusively designed for that

Limit Destroyer also attempts to ingrain thought processes to prevent those limits from re-emerging, and if they do, provide you with the mental tools and fortitude to overcome them.

I want to engrain this in my mind and make it part of who I am. Limit destroyer will not leave my stack for now, I will use it for long term growth around the subs I want to grow. Khan st4 and limit destroyer are probably my next target for 21 days cycle.

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Yesterday I went out with a girl, I was still having some social anxiety because of the amount of people in the room I think.

Today anxiety is still present, it might also be recon.

There is a little voice in my head that tells me this anxiety is recon, I don’t want to be judged negatively. And don’t want to is the right wording hence why I have this anxiety.

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Yesterday I worked on my project, I went to a café with a friend to work. I also had anxiety, I felt overwhelmed from inside, there wasn’t thought associated with it, I felt it aas more of a “in my body” type of thing.

This morning I woke up, I’m feeling relaxed. Will see how I feel for the rest of the day. I’m not really going out until thursday so the recon have time to subside.

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Fun fact, Stark is making me look at what I am eating in the sense of losing weight. I’ve been on a calorie deficit since starting this stack.

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I’ve noticed today a limiting belief coming up… I’ve always believed I have no inherent value.

Hence why I don’t see why people would spend time with me.

How to balance the contradiction that as a guy, you have to value when you are born, you have to create it? Compared to me enjoying life and spending time with people I like? Why the f do they spend time with me? And even a girl, that’s a big one for me, if I am anxious, why the f would she go out with me?

Anyway all questions coming up from my subconscious, tomorrow will listen to limit destroyer and erase all these limiting belief from my mind!

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Have not you thought about running DR?

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100%, I did ran it last year in january 2021. 1 month each stages.

With this journal I’m trying to use limit destroyer as a way to “anchor” in my mind the removal of limiting beliefs and the prevention of forming new ones, it’s very specific. I also want to work one goal at a time.

Dragon reborn is a long process which focus on all levels of identity… Which I will definitly do, but knowing it’s summer now and there are events organized to go out and all. I want to mix results manifestation with focused healing :wink:.

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@Lineer2 maybe you were on to something with Dragon reborn suggestion :joy:

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Recon had calmed down this noon.

Now I can feel it in full strength. Thoughts like spending the rest of my life alone, never be able to find a job or occupation I like… Everything is in my mind and is taking up lots of space. Anxiety is through the roof and I even feel physical symptoms.

Of course, I know these beliefs are just limiting and are not true. But it’s like subconsciously I still believe that. Limit destroyer is doing a huge job right now, getting to some root fear for me that I didn’t even thought I had anymore… Yet, they are still there.

The fear of me being stuck and incapable of doing anything…

Anyway, usually the more recon you have on a title, the more you need it it means your mind is open enough for the new ideas to enter, but still has some beliefs that don’t fit with the new learning and need to rearrange your beliefs. Well, it’s not because you have recon on a title that you need to run it, it just means you have beliefs change required.

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Today I feel freer. I am much more talkative! Feeling better in my skin, life is beautiful :slight_smile:

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Went to the restaurant with some friends tonight. Notice the two waitresses looking at me more.

Also, my self expression and comfort in my skin was way better.

I talked with a guy who works as a project manager in a bank. He told me about his job and all. Also offered me to talk to his professor, she is a consultant and maybe she knows some people who are hirings.

Anyway, just felt like some of my internal limits were gone since this friday. I am more interested in people and like talking to them (I feel part of my skills from back in the day are coming back!!)

Progress with subliminals is different. Like, I suddently could ask him about his job and interest… It’s not some magic, subliminal changes how you see life, allowing you to act differently.

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Something haopened yesterday too, the waitress asked me if I wanted the recipt… I was deciding said “Hmmm” while looking at her straigth in the eyes, she added “sir” after a second :rofl: I started laughing.

Just holding eyes contact like this for me would of been too much last week!!!

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