Day 3 of my 5 day break.
Today I’m feeling creative. Feeling like more alive. Have just been processing the feelings as they come up.
I’m feeling like I could get back into writing again. Had some creative posts and just creative energy flowing through me today.
I want that new LBFH core in the custom but I might just wait on it. I’ll give it another cycle or two since I’m really enjoying my LBFH/DRLD custom as is. I know it’ll probably just get better with the new core.
Today I’m kinda cranky but I’m still feeling pretty good. Like I’d rather have slept longer and don’t want to be around people, would rather go back to bed. But I had some things to do and still feeling great anyway.
I feel like my motivation to work out is pretty good. I’m planning to just go back to basics and focus on building the foundations of my body to stay healthy and injury free for this month. Just prep for the new year when I really go for it.
I did go for the upgrade on my LBFH/DRLD custom. I upgraded to the new LBFH core. I’m really excited about that. For the first couple listens it’ll probably be the ‘old’ custom but it’s still working great for me. Still feeling freer and freer.
My next 21 days kicks off tomorrow.
I’m keeping everything the same. Alternating between 30 seconds and 15 min listens. Things are moving along at a nice pace. Minimal recon, happy with how the results are unfolding. So I’ll stay the course.
I’ve wanted instant results in the past but it seems like there’s a price to pay for that. The psyche has to resolve those things and that could result in emotional upheaval and things of that nature. So that’s why I’m not pushing it and listening to 15 mins everytime. I don’t think there’s any need. I like the approach of alternating. I’ll go 15 mins then the next 2 listens are 30 seconds. When that next 15 min comes around it’s the next title. A nice middle road approach and I’m sticking with it.
The past few nights I’ve had some weird dreams again.
I wasn’t expecting that. Normally I get the weird dreams when I first start a new title. This was at the start of my third cycle on this stack. Nothing concerning, just noteworthy.
Was feeling absolutely amazing today. High spirits, having some fun. I even think I finally got some Formless Clarity coming through. Last night I started doing the self inquiry, Who am I? and I was able to keep with it and got pretty deep. I even started my day with self inquiry. There’s no answer to the who am I? well when you’re going for the ultimate truth if there is such a thing. It’s well, a kind of formless clarity! Beingness. Pure awareness, etc.
I’m still looking forward to getting my SI/Spartan custom updated. Have been considering just updating it to get the new Spartan core. I’m still focused on my physical training and health. I’m back to the basics just staying consistent to finish out the year. Also just focused on light conditioning more than anything. Easing into it for when I plan to turn things up just doing it in a way that keeps me healthy without injuries.
So far I’m noticing it transfers over to daily life pretty well. In the last year or so I haven’t been focused on the traditional 3 or more sets. 25-30 reps one set has been my focus. But I’ve recently added in a really light warm up set in addition to the joint mobility and general warm up routine. Definitely want to lube up those joints and get blood in there before the main set. Keeps the joints healthy and pain free.
I think the new updated Spartan would just bring things up a notch. But I still plan to hold off to update both cores at once. I’m starting to get back in the habit of saving money instead of spending it all. Black Friday helped. I got to stock up on some things which will also ease up my expenses for the next couple months.
SSX is working at a nice pace. Not too fast but just enough to let me know that the future is bright. Just stay consistent and just enjoy the ride as best I can.
My updated LBFH/DRLD has arrived tonight! I get to take it for a spin on Sunday. Just 30 seconds though because it’s a micro loop day for it. But I’m doing 15 mins of ssx.
15 mins ssx and 30 seconds of LBFH/DRLD custom (first listen with the updated LBFH core).
I feel like I’m out of my comfort zone. It’s a good thing. I’ve been into some recon but that’s also coupled with having a few days of less sleep than I prefer. It’s like that thing where if you’re not assertive and you become assertive, well it feels like you’re being a bully, or it can. Of if you’re very assertive and dominant and you get in touch with your ‘softer’ ‘warmer’ feelings it can feel wussy maybe.
So at this point I’m planning to finish out the cycle. But I will make a note that I plan to maybe take 10-14 days off before I start the next cycle.
Started having some of that physical anxiety again last night and today.
Not worried. I have stonelike in my custom. Maybe the updated LBFH core stirred up some more stuff. Nothing on my mind though. But I had to go to the store today. The seas still parted and I was in the flow because I hit the green lights and got to the self checkout just as somebody was leaving. I was anticipating standing around as used to normally be the case.
I also got reminded of something I’d forgotten. Back when I was on Chosen I was getting IOI’s (attraction signals) from these classy business type women. I totally forgot about that.
Well when I was driving through the parking lot on arrival I saw this absolutely stunning blonde in the pea coat, business class attire. There was no way she was picking me up on her radar. I’m guessing she was happily married and committed. So I forget about it and get in the store and grab my stuff. I’m not in a social mood, I guess I still need to process this bodily anxiety a little. Getting out really helped though.
I get to the self checkout and I see the lines, so again I’m expecting to wait. I see this business class type lady at the checkout. She turns and sees me, but I’m not expecting anything and not in a social mood. But she sees me and I don’t let her know that I already saw her, but she tries to play cool and to my surprise she starts with all self grooming, playing with the hair and she kind of expects me to get in line behind her maybe. So she’s like getting ready so I notice her. Well I kept walking and perfect timing some old lady was just leaving as I get there. So I just go there and am on my way again. I never see the lady again. I haven’t showered and I’m not looking or feeling my best. The last thing I would expect was seeing any good looking women who would be interested. So SSX strikes again!
I’m really tired haven’t been sleeping the greatest lately. But something like that definitely gives me a boost and it’s just a nice reminder that things are getting good. My main holdback is the money situation. But maybe I’ll meet a well off woman who understands my situation. haha. I don’t put my money on it. I’m definitely still planning to switch out SSX for a wealth title in 2024. I’m really considering just going for it with EOG. At this point it seems my best bet is to be self employed somehow and keep my part time work, just need to add something that is less labor intensive.
Today was 15 mins of my SI/Spartan custom.
It’s not been my priority but I actually feel better today after listening to it. Whatever I had to process yesterday is done.
I do have Joi De Vivre in this custom and it’s a nice module. I really like it. Doesn’t seem like it would go in this custom but it helps keep the spirits high instead of getting too serious, nothing wrong with that either. Joie De Vivre just seems like it gives that joy of living there. Satisfied after/during putting in the hard work and taking care of business, so it’s great for the mental health.
‘Healing’ seems to be at the forefront again. Still transitioning from giving up the old to truly embodying the new. I still get those moments of joy and happiness. Don’t worry, nothing toxic about it!
So I’m kind of more in the mode of buckling down and doing my inner work again. Also focused on working out. My job is kind of a break, where I don’t have to think about anything and just do my work. So most days I feel better while working, that’s a huge change from a year ago. I was so filled with anxiety at work, but now work is enjoyable, peaceful at times. I get into the flow state and just keep at it.
I was having nightmares last night. So the dreams are still continuing. With the newest upgrades it seems the dreams are continuing rather than happening just at the start of a new title. So I might surmise that they’re just hitting at a different angle and perhaps more profound.
Today was 30 seconds of SSX followed by my LBFH/DRLD custom with the updated core. It was only second listen with the new core. I haven’t listened to 15 mins yet, and I was feeling nudged to just go for the 15 minute loop, so I did.
I still have this heart trauma healing. Depths of Love and Chosen of Venus are both in this custom. I’ll get like this energy in my heart and I just allow it and relax and then it’ll shoot through my arms where my body will start shaking, sometimes through the legs. Definitely the same kind of thing you’d get if you’ve ever done TRE (trauma release exercises). The body will actually shake out the tensions/energy.
I wasn’t really expecting it but it’s definitely welcome and needed. I have also had those being in the flow outward experiences, yet inward I wasn’t necessarily feeling in the flow. So as the old energies are released it just keeps me in the magical state. When I do have lower moments or recon I don’t need to make a mess of things because it’s just part of the process and I know it will pass. It’s also easier to change my focus and pull back if I start getting into the mind stories of the unfavorable. I have had a deeper resolve to just go right back to the inner work and releasing.
I’m still having the people issues come up. Where I haven’t met the right people but when people do want to talk to me it’s pleasant. I don’t have any of those crab bucket people in my life or even in earshot so that’s always nice.
I also have been experiencing some of that stuff that comes with personal change. That generally most people are stuck in their own personal realities, their programs. They’ve confused thinking and talking about things rather than being them. Say they’ll criticize and judge people yet they themselves do the very same things and they seem to be blinded to their own bs. So at the same time I get myself settled again and realize you know, not having lots of people in my life is nice, I don’t have to deal with their problems and all that. So Solitude module was definitely a nice add for me.
Dreams have been continuing. I think last night I got some dreams related to some shifts and changes with SSX. And also some more LBFH/DRLD stuff I would say.
Yesterday I was really impressed with my body again. Getting great arm definition and my waist is appearing smaller. I haven’t even been as strict with the diet as I thought I needed to be. I planned on doing keto for the entire time between thanksgiving and christmas. I haven’t. I took two weeks off for thanksgiving. and I’ve been having a whatever I want meal on saturday after work then all day sunday.
Only been back on the keto train for like two weeks. Haven’t been hitting my workouts like I want but just staying consistent and some days I only have time for the absolute basics. My arms are looking as good as they’ve ever been. Since I added in the 25-30 rep very light warm up sets of dumbell curls and skull crushers it’s just making those arm muscles pop with more definition. I thought I was just going to maintain and focus on conditioning for this month. I’m just sticking to the basics this month as prep for the more power and athletic focused training I want to do.
I’ve been really going over what my plan is sometimes. Like I will most likely stick it out until March and switch a title.
At this point I want to keep SSX. I still like the Survival Instinct/Spartan custom. It’s a choice between Emperor or Ascended Mogul mainly. Then I want to try out the new PCC. But money is the main thing I’ve got to get handled, as far as what I think is most practical. So it’s looking like EOG will be on board next year no matter what.
I won’t give up the new LBFH/DRLD custom this year. I also want to possibly do a Chosen custom. Chosen and SSX. Then I could keep the modules from SI/Spartan custom and just add in EOG. I also don’t want to lose out on the fitness focus. But working out is something I enjoy so I’ll keep that up no matter what titles I’m on.
I really like Chosen and with SSX it would keep things interesting enough for me while allowing me to start getting at the money situation with EOG. I’d plan to use that first stage of EOG for maybe the whole year, but I don’t think it’d be the best one to put in a custom.
today: 15 mins SI/Spartan custom. Since I forgot to listen to Ascension Chamber yesterday.
I think I’m just going to listen to 15 mins of SI/Spartan from here on out. I’ll still rotate my other two titles at 30 sec and 15 min listens. Since my plan is to finally come off the SI/Spartan custom in March.
Looking like Chosen/SSX will be my new custom for next year. I’ll keep most of the modules from SI/Spartan. I think it’s time to shift gears a bit and that will help me with social and making connections and right relationships. Also will have EOG on board for next year as well.
After today I’m really favoring my SI/Spartan custom now. I’ve been on it for about 8 months now.
It felt like Harmonic Singularity module really shined through today. I also have energetic development XI module. Also Joie De Vivre.
I think it was just what I needed after getting into some pretty good healing from my LBFH/DRLD custom. I think I’m going to finish out this cycle focusing on micro loops of LBFH/DRLD custom. I plan to stay on it probably all of 2024. It’s pretty potent so I’m okay with slower progression on that one.
I’m not sure on SSX but I think it’s a title I would be fine with at full loops of 15 minutes since I’m keeping LBFH/DRLD to 30 seconds to finish out this cycle. I only have about 10 days left but after feeling like SI/Spartan custom helped me clear out some tension and blockages I feel like it’s best to focus on that one for the rest of the cycle. So I’m planning to keep SI/Spartan custom at 15 minute loops the rest of the cycle.
I definitely had some more moments of being outside of my comfort zone. That passing sense of oh no things really are changing! ahaha. And it’s for the better yet that resistance and cognitive dissonance can arise because of that pesky part that wants to maintain the status quo. I feel like I broke through some kind of a wall in that now I really like my SI/Spartan custom. Before I was maybe intimidated by it because there are a couple healing modules and so I feel like I’ve gotten some breakthroughs there.
PS. I think the healing modules have definitely been at work. The SI/Spartan custom was something I wasn’t able to pinpoint and say I know it’s doing this or this. So I think my LBFH/DRLD really has helped unlock this custom for me a bit more. I definitely feel like the healing modules have been at play hence the recon. Plus they were combined with a couple other healing modules in LBFH/DRLD and those are a bit healing in themselves.
So I think I’m getting to the goods finally. I still have until the end of March though before I’d be ready to possibly give up SSX for EOG. I feel like I’d just start slow with EOG, like start at 30 seconds a cycle and increase to a minute and then two minutes etc. By then I should be in the swing of things and able to tolerate whatever EOG is gonna be working with. So I’ll just reconsider things when I get closer to March.
For now once again, stay the course is the plan. By then I’m sure I’ll have more surprises and insights and a better idea of how to proceed.
Feeling great today. Woke up and was singing songs. Ran a few errands just feeling like life is worth living. In the place where I realized it doesn’t matter what subliminals I’m using because from this place it’s the best place to be. If any inspirations or insights come up I’ll be able to act on them. I think I’m also in a lucky streak again. Just back in the magic (receiving) state.
I’m even motivated to do some reading/studying today. Normally in the past, up until now it’s been the case that I’m happy to just procrastinate and distract myself with social media scrolling. So I’m going to do some reading and take advantage of this state.
Yesterday I listened to 15 mins of SSX and 30 seconds of LBFH/DRLD custom.
Yesterday was 15 mins of SI/Spartan custom. Feeling a little bit of an edge but I don’t feel like I need to back off it.
On the workout front, I’m having to pull back more and put a focus on recovery. I do a light workout on Sunday then Monday is pure strength. Max effort on 3 exercises for 1 set after thorough warmup. Well I thought I’d be able to hit another strength or at least power day by now, 3 days later. So I’ll have to be a bit more patient and focus more on the mobility and conditioning on whatever muscles aren’t sore. So I got glutes and abs that aren’t fried. I could hit a workout of single leg RDL’s but I’m thinking kettlebell swings for the conditioning/power aspect. So for now I’ll have to stick with the mobility daily and just play it by ear until my body adapts or I come up with a better idea.
I was just talking to the person who I’ve had communication issues with in the past. Well they were kind of in a mood, a bit snappy. Of course they would absolutely deny it if confronted with it. There’ve been times where they make me feel stupid and like an idiot, just with how they talk to me. I learn though. I actually will have insights and remember that wait, before I talk about anything with this person do they actually know? No! But they’ll absolutely talk with certainty as though they do and somehow make it into me being the dumb one, and when confronted with that they’ll deny. So I learn to come up with better ways of approaching.
So I realized the person was in a mood, that they don’t even know about, it’s so weird to me. Zero self awareness. So in the past if I had recon I’d maybe set a boundary or something or feel like I have to stand up for myself. But I didn’t take it on, I’ve been feeling pretty damn good again lately. So I didnt internalize any of it, I actually had a chuckle about it because when it’s happening it’s like wtf all this bullshit being thrown on me, but I didn’t take it on. So I go back to my room and then I’m like well, today is a day so I won’t talk to them. Well, I’m feeling good so I’ve got to get back into the mix and so I go engage the person again, not to stir them up. Just for my own curiosity. Asking questions is just kind of how I roll. It’s a bit of a habit so I just changed the questions, instead of me not knowing I went with the facts. This is true but I’ll ask it in question form. To me, blatantly obvious and I’d be offended if someone did it to me. But I just wanted to see something. So I go start asking the questions and the person is going right along with it! ahahah. I couldn’t believe it. No argument no making me feel stupid.
From a kid I know a lot of the adults in my life were so mad because they felt out of control, they weren’t okay with not knowing. So their absolute certainty and need to dominate me like a peon is stemming from their own shortcomings and insecurities. I just forget and fall back in the trap, but it’s no pleasant so I started to learn and experiment. Since I feel good it’s not from anger or malice, it’s sometimes from my own entertainment and curiosity. To my surprise I do learn things and get reminded that yea, not everybody reacts the same and you really don’t know so just try something and at the very least you’re gonna learn something and maybe have some fun.
So that’s why I still wish I had a spot for PCC. But I’m still attached to SSX for now.
I’m just thinking that ideally I’d want to switch off my SI/Spartan custom. I’m kind of thinking Emperor/The new PCC. That way I could keep SSX and still keep the LBFH/DRLD custom. I could alternate between that and SI/Spartan if I really miss anything from it.
I don’t want to give up the romance stuff. I also need to start transitioning to coming up with more sources of income besides my part time jobs. I was thinking EOG but Emperor is more well rounded and seems to be more of a total package. I think it will build on whatever I’ve accomplished with SI/Spartan and I might even keep a few of the modules from it.
I wanted to do a chosen ssx and go with EOG but I still have 3 months to finalize things. But Emperor might win out just because LBFH would help with a lot of the positivity stuff already and I probably need more of the drive to get down to business and still deal with people. Or I could probably do the new PCC and EOG stage 1 in a custom also. That’s another possibility. I’d get the discipline and wealth focus.
My plan is to get on Emperor starting in April. That’ll give me a full year on my SI/Spartan custom. I was waiting on the new SI core but at this point I feel like it’s time to get on Emperor.
The plan is Emperor and continue with my LBFH/DRLD custom. So just the two titles. I will be slowly increasing the listening times. By then I might be on 15 mins of LBFH/DRLD. But I plan to start at micro loop and just increase each cycle with Emperor. I am absolutely looking forward to it.
The only thing that keeps me from starting in January is that I’m running on discipline. I’m going to hit the year goal with my first custom. Since I’ve started doing 15 minutes of it, it’s definitely at times trial by fire, or being forged in the fire. So I look at it as good prep and paving the way for Emperor.
The healing modules hit hard at times and my LBFH/DRLD really helps me with the mood boosts and so if I’m not in the healing trenches I’m in the magical mode of feeling great and enjoying life again.
I will add the new PCC, just maybe around July. I have respect for the Emperor and will keep it to two titles for at least 3 cycles.