Survival Instinct Spartan Custom

Journals - Custom Subliminals
#181

Oh dang! I just remembered I haven’t done my Friday loop of Ascension Chamber yet. I think I will stick with 30 seconds today since I’m doing a full 15 mins of my new custom tomorrow.

I’ve been listening to two audiobooks. I keep them on my ipod and I listen to one and I switch to the other one and rotate until I get to ten listens. I’m not ten listens but kind of feel “full” on them now. Maybe after like 6 listens. So I’ve just been listening to this playlist of podcasts that I have also. I picked that up from this book to listen at least 10 times, or read a book at least 10 times even 20 times if you really want to get it.

But I guess that’s my intuition saying I can put the audiobooks down for now. I’m kind of bored on the podcast playlist too so I’ve gotta pick out my new book to listen to.

I’m kind of thinking I’d like to find some flow music to listen to. Something without lyrics that just lets me get in the flow while I’m working but something still stimulating enough that I don’t get too relaxed or bored.

#182

Coming home feeling lonely tonight. Also coming home with the spare tire as I got a flat tire today. Been about 5 years so I guess I was due. It used to be like a yearly thing I’d have the same car issues, with different cars too. So I would absolutely say that was my old paradigm.

Was feeling low due to my thinking about a friend situation. I re-added a friend back on one of my social medias. He ghosted me out like a year ago. I saw I had a friend request recently and finally accepted it. So now once again I’m getting ghosted. It was one of my good friends, at least on my end. Somebody I was very happy to be friends with in school and growing up.

He has a family now and has chosen a solidity a certain identity, worldliness. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I chose the spiritual path of formlessness because I didn’t want to depend on anyone or anyone depend on me for happiness. So it just shows that I’m not completely free of attachments which is fine. Loving people comes with the other side of it also. Feelings.

So I’m really excited about tomorrow am. I’m listening to my new custom LBFH/DRLD. It has the new You Are Not Alone Module. I’m really excited about what might transpire from that.

Last week I did reach out to message a girl I had like one class in 9th grade with. I never hung out with her but we were facebook friends years back. I made her lol with some of my posts. I think she was dating a guy that was kind of my friend back then. But she had enthusiasm when I messaged her and I think she’s in a f/f relationship now though. So I really don’t know, maybe she fell for my charm at some point. I have no idea. There was another chick who had been checking up on my facebook also and I’ve never met her and I don’t want to but she seems cool.

I also think that since my age group is now hitting the 40’s or close to it, and everybody’s had their adventures, that now they’re open to something different. I do fit that bill but I also like being a loner without much obligations besides work. But my new custom will add a new dimension to things. So I’m absolutely ready for it.

#183

I just did my first listen of the new LBFH/DRLD custom. I lay on my bed and got into a meditative state. I just felt really good and open. First impressions are good, only had pleasant sensations while listening. I didn’t get any indication that 15 minutes was too much. But we’ll see in a day or two when the processing kicks in.

#184

It just occurred to me that just because you love someone, that doesn’t mean they can love you the same way.

I’ve had that with the woman I wanted. For me she was it and I was just never that for her. I believed in the kind of love that it would just take time. Well it never happened and never will. I’ve realized the love I needed to focus on was Love for myself. I get that handled and I won’t get myself in the mess of getting mixed up with people who aren’t as loyal, or committed as me.

So that also applies to friends in general. It does hurt because I love them and I was so loyal but not everybody is at that same level. So I need to tap into that love for myself first and foremost. I think that will go a long way in steering me to the right people and choices and opportunities etc.

That’s another thing my new LBFH/DRLD custom will help immensely with. I’ve already started to get back to letting go of disapproving myself and loving myself - with releasing. This is day 1.

Definitely need a good night’s sleep. I’m not sure how to go with my listening schedule. I might just go with whatever comes up. If I feel like I can tolerate more listening I will. I’ll keep my SI/Spartan custom at 1:30 though. I will probably listen to my new custom at 30 seconds next listen though just for good measure to not get overloaded.

#185

I have an eminem song in my head today - The Real Slim Shady. I’ve never been a big fan. But it’s just kind of the vibe I guess. Like a bouncy maybe kind of mischevious fun playful vibe. I could see some song of joy module influence at play.

I just checked in and yea. I’m feeling really good and I was up all night. I’m running on like 4-5 hours of sleep.

#186

I’ve lived in a family situation where it was never okay for me to stand up for myself, or to have my talking respected. Yet they’d always tell me to when it came to the other people. Well it’s always been okay I just didn’t know it. That was my training as a kid. So I developed anxiety and to this day I’m righting my ship so I can still live that bright future and have healthy relationships. I don’t even care about having lots of friends, just those one or two good ones, those loyal close people that You Are Not Alone module will bring about.

I’ve set the lines and am sticking to them. Just to show myself that yes I do have a right to be respected and have feelings, holding it all in is what’s been a huge cause of my problems. On the other hand it led me to so many good things in my determination to set myself free of the BS. My family is not the kind who has a sorry in them about how I was raised, they have no clue. I don’t care about that. My main goal is to not be bothered or upset by them, and since that’s where I can track down my lack of the life I wanted, that’s where I’m setting those boundaries. But again it’s not about forcing them to my will, it’s about signalling to myself that I am worth more and it’s okay for me be my own man. I am more and more okay that they are how they are, they might have a trap door mind when it comes to me and my opinions. But there’s always planting a seed and if or when the limiting belief drops away in me, the outer will change for the better.

#187

I just had my first full night’s sleep since my first listen to the new custom. Definitely feeling that mood boost and the feel good better mood effects again.

I think it will be the perfect balance to the Survival Instinct/Spartan custom which can lean me towards being more serious.

Today is my 1:30 listen to my si/s custom.

PS. I did 30 seconds of my SI/Spartan custom today. Feeling like I overslept now. I stayed up all night 2 nights ago and tried to make up for it today by sleeping in. But I still feel pretty friggen good man. I think I’m really going to love this new LBFH/DRLD custom!

My plan came to me. I will alternate with a 15 mins one day then next 2 listens are 30 seconds. Then I will do 15 minutes of whichever sub is due in the rotation. I feel like I can handle 15 mins now no problem but this will also smooth things out so I get a breather between 15 min listens.

#188

I woke up feeling really good. That new custom is great man. Really good, back to feeling the goodness for sure.

Coupled up with the new S&S X, life is going to get good. Planning to switch over to wealth focus for the new year.

This am I listened to 15 mins of my SI/Spartan custom. Also did the full length of Ascension Chamber.

I am liking the new routine I decided on for myself- 15 mins one day then the next two listening days are :30 sec of my titles, alternating of course one day it’s SI/Spartan custom and the other listening day is LBFH/DRLD and S&S x. Friday is always Ascension Chamber day.

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#189

Today I’m noticing some of that Spartan styled warrior alphaness. Definitely some contrast to the LBFH/DRLD custom.

#190

I stayed up all night last night. That’s been a once a week thing lately. I haven’t planned it. I end up sleeping to get as close to 8 hours when I can finally sleep though.

Today was SSX and LBFH/DRLD custom. I decided to try out 15 mins of SSX because I heard it could potentially have less recon due to advances. I did 30 seconds of the custom. Feeling tired so far, was a little anxious today. I definitely had some strong somatic releases when I finally settled in to do some meditating/releasing. Now I’m tired but that definitely can be a side effect of releasing and definitely staying up all night last night.

I did make it to the store but I was feeling anxious, that was before I did the meditating/releasing. Now a light workout to boost some feel good chemistry.

#191

I got to listen to 30 sec of SSX and 15 mins of my LBFH/DRLD custom today. I was really excited to listen. Feeling good so far. I have kind of narrowed it down, I get sort of a lag and feel like napping for an hour or two in the late afternoon. So I’ve decided to work out earlier and instead of feeling like napping I can just relax and read or meditate during that time instead of procrastinate my workout.

But generally feeling more positive and open and dropping limitations.

I’m more focused on my new LBFH/DRLD custom and so I’m not really looking for anything from SSX. I just decided to throw it in the mix to test out the new upgraded scripting and just for fun to see what happens.

PS: I had the briefest of sad feelings this evening. Briefest I’ve had so far. I’ve been starting my day really hammering that self love. Aside from anxiety I kind of forgot about the sad spectrum of things. So I take that as some healing work was going on. Definitely around the people/friends topic maybe, so possibly Solitude module hitting on some things. Maybe path of forgiveness as well.

I don’t have any conscious insight as to what it was except that it passed so quick, compared to how healing has gone in the past. Definitely showing some resilience so that could be the tag team of Foundation and Eye of the Storm at play also.

#192

Today was a listen to Ascension Chamber.

I’ve been dipping in and out of the anxiety/fear stuff more than anything. I chalk it up to just part of the process. I do get those feel good open moments and that makes it all worth it. So the trick is to enjoy the highs and just be graceful with the lows.

I really feel like I made the best custom for me with LBFH/DRLD. So this is only my first cycle? with it. So just need to have patience and keep at it.

#193

My 5 day break starts earlier than I thought, I got one of those 20 day cycles just how the numbers worked out. I rechecked my calendar and today was my last listening day. I did 30 secs of my Survival Instinct/Spartan custom. I think that’s my 8th cycle with it. It’s definitely done some healing work with the modules I got in there. I still don’t feel like it’s a perfect match for me. But I still don’t see myself giving it up earlier than a year.

My LBFH/DRLD custom really fits well with me so far. If anything it’s really going to bring out more of my first custom’s potential. I definitely see that happening. So for now I really got the perfect custom for myself there.

I keep surprising myself with my physique. Even on weeks I don’t stay strict with the diet, but I stay mostly consistent with bare minimum, in my opinion, work outs. I can see changes from week to week. Like right now I’ve been off the keto diet, I still eat the same but I just have been eating candy and whatever I want basically. My pants are fitting snug to where I don’t need a belt but I look in the mirror and I’m still looking better.

So now I’ll be strict again with keto for a couple weeks to get back into ketosis and hopefully keep that going until Thanksgiving and have a week off. Then plan to do the same for Christmas month. So I really think it’s possible I could finally have the six pack abs come this spring/summer without being too hardcore about it. Just consistency really seems to be the key. I do have a physical job so that helps me stay active and does keep me from working out as intensely as I’d like, which is probably a good thing anyway.

I do feel like a lot of the baggage and limits and holdbacks are dropping away nicely. Just a matter of sticking with it and having patience and I’m really enjoying the progress so far. It’s mostly internal growth so far which is what I’m after anyway. I’m sure at some point those outer manifestations will start rolling in and it’ll just be a bonus.

#194

Feeling a lil cranky and tired today. So I’ll stick to my listening routine for the next cycle.

On the friend front, I thought I was getting back in touch with one of my best friends, he reached out to me but now he’s too busy it seems- he went ghost mode on me. I thought I’d give my other friend a chance after I resolved all my own feelings and took a chance of friending him again on social media. Well he is apparently too busy for me as well, he went ghost mode on me.

I don’t have any feelings about it really. Oh well. I will thank Solitude module and myself for doing my own inner work. The way I do it is I don’t work on them, I don’t change them. I resolve my own limits and feelings and let the chips fall where they may.

I know things are going to get really good now that I’m on board with my LBFH/DRLD custom and SSX in the mix for fun. It’s also helping me from being depressed or feeling sorry for myself. I was feeling anxiety/fear mostly for recon. Now I’ve seemed to move up to more of the anger realm, with awareness of course, nothing destructive. It’s just higher on the rung in terms of the emotional scale than fear. The chart I go by is AGFLAP CAP. Apathy at the lowest end, Grief,Fear, lust, Anger, Pride, Courageousness, Acceptance, Peace.

Overall I’m optimistic and any challenges are just temporary and just come with growth as far as my attitude is concerned. :smiley:

PS: After posting I’ve gotten into some feelings. So I take it LBFH and DRLD are doing their work, breaking down and cleaning up some junk

It’s been rare lately that I dip into the grief/sad type feelings.

PPS: Did a couple hours of work tonight. Cleared everything right up. Worked by myself and didn’t even take the feelings with me to work. For me it seems like doing my job just helps me feel better mentally as well sometimes. I think it’s actually more of a mood boost than working out. I think it’s because I probably think I don’t get to work out like I want- I want to be doing much more athletic things but I’m into the 40’s now and consistency is more important so I can stay injury free and do my job.

#195

Smooth sailing 5 day break- since I had those feelings come up for that day or 2.

I’m definitely open to trying Stark, I haven’t yet but depending on how upgrades unfold it’s definitely going to be a wealth focus for me in the new year- that’s the plan, anyway.

My eyes are on Ascended Mogul with PCC. But for whatever reason I’m open to trying out Stark now. After Chosen and SSX and the new upgrades Stark is more appealing than it used to be. It was like no I don’t want attention I want to be left alone so I can get grounded again. Dealt with too much people problems and needed a good long recovery. But with NRE I could see how that would make Stark much more smooth. I want that money focus and I’ve been weary of the alpha titles due to having people feel challenged by my existence, even when I was nothing but kind and non-judgemental. But at this point I’m open to it because I think it’s necessary and I’m ready and also the upgrades just seem to be making things “smoother.”

PS: I’m finishing up my workout right now. The processing of my SI/Spartan custom definitely seems to be at work. I have that fierce warrior edge going on. Feels like The Boundary module is coming to the forefront as well. In the past it used to come up with arguments with people( in the mind). No more arguments about the past, well yea it is, even a second ago is the past. So it’s way turned down and I’d say it’s about having boundaries moving forward, just some wanting to the right to exist and be left alone. That’s kind of the main reason I made this custom. To have boundaries and be left alone while having that mindset that I can handle and deal with whatever challenges arise with people.

#196

I’m ready to get started with my next cycle. 2 more days!

I’m not sure which title I want to start with, in my mind it makes a difference because the title I start with get the most listens. I think it’s like 1 more listen so it probably isn’t a big deal at all. Of course I might kick it off with SSX and my LBFH/DRLD custom.

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#197

I had some more feelings come up around people/friends/social. Like the sad type. I was missing having friends.

I’m not changing anything with my stack. It seems it’s definitely doing good work. So I’ll probably finish out the year as is.

I was considering Primal since I bought it planning to run it. SSX seems like a lighter title and for now it seems more in line with where I’m at. I’m not on the “prowl.” So SSX at least from what I gather, seems to be more just be me kind of vibe, and even though dating/seduction isn’t number one on my list right now, it’s just for fun to see where it goes. I do like it so far, so it’ll only get better.

#198

Day 1 of my new cycle. Last night I had so many dreams it was almost like when I just start a new title. So on day 5 of the mini-washout I was having some processing dreams. Seems to have been going deeper and working on some things that have held me back for too long.

I’m going with SSX and my LBFH/DRLD custom for day 1. It’s also Friday so I might only do 30 seconds of Ascension Chamber. Now to decide if I want to do 15 mins for both titles to kick things off. I think I’ll compromise and do 1 minute ssx and a full 15 mins of the custom.

#199

I got back into ketosis this week and holy smokes. I just had more energy than my body had conditioning. I did double the amount of work and wasn’t tired at all, my shoulder became fatigued before my energy died down. In the past Friday is my day where I’m yawning and just feeling worn out. I was definitely in the flow and I’ll also attribute that to my DRLD/LBFH custom.

I ended up listening to 1 min of SSX and 15 mins of DRLD/LBFH and went with a full 6 mins of Ascension Chamber. I thought that would have given me the mental fatigue but nope.

I also think I’ve been having some effects of Depths of Love module working on releasing issues in my heart area. I wasn’t expecting that but it makes sense- that we can store trauma in our heart areas physically and energetically. I won’t go into details, but there seems to be some physical symptoms of that releasing.

I know when I used a healing title in the past I was having digestive issues and I won’t blame any subliminal for that, but I do mention it because my experience is that things can get stirred up and released and physical symptoms can come with that, no matter the modality, part of healing.

Like for example with my Survival Instinct/Spartan custom, I added in some healing modules to target specific things. Well when I got relaxed then that’s when the issues appeared in terms of the emotions coming out and the realizations along with that. Healing is not always rainbows and puppy dogs as they say. It can look like going through hell, but that’s just what’s been suppressed, so I got to go through it finally.

Overall though I’m impressed with my newest custom. I even had a moment yesterday where I felt like Song of Joy was coming through a bit. Probably combo’d with Inner Voice. Well the whole thing really coming together to get me past some issues and level me up. It’s definitely going to be a fun ride.

It’s even gotten me to lessen my grip on my Survival Instinct/Spartan custom, now it’s a possibility that if I really felt like it, I could switch it out. Rather than be about defense from negativity and negative people, I’m definitely going to be opening up to the positive side of life again. Where I can get back to living how I want, rather than feeling like I have to stay away from the world.

I do have a Chosen/PCC custom that I never used. I didn’t feel “ready” for it. It had a lot of modules that I decided would be too challenging for me to deal with. I was still in the protective/defensive mindset from that insecurity/anxiety/unresolved traumas place. Now I will probably have it rebuilt in ZPV2 and might test it out to start the new year.

PS: Just got home from work. I just feel like my smoothness has been taken to a new level since I’ve been on this stack. SSX and LBFH/DRLD, when I started my SI/Spartan stack I felt like it did bring out that kind of movement I like, smooth, efficient, just lets me be in a nice flow without much thoughts in the way. Things are getting better and better all the time, and I’m sure there’ll be challenges along the way, all part of it. :smiley:

I have been thinking about what my next title will be after SI/Spartan. It’s not recon style like in the past. It used to be that I’d get to planning and wanting to change my stack. Well I guess it could also be that, but it’s ever so slight. Started my 9th cycle with it and I’ve never been more committed to sticking with a title than this one. I can easily back myself off the planning what to switch it with and remind myself I’ve got the rest of the year. No need to even be thinking about it yet. Plus the updates are on the way, so it’ll be a new landscape.

#200

Doing a little thinking again. I’m still on the fence about going to a wealth focus in the next year. On the one hand yes I would love the money, but I don’t want to be working full time for somebody else. I want to have more time and freedom. So either way there may be some limiting beliefs around that. In terms of real world I know that it’s not what I think it is, it’s not a it has to be this way or that. There are way more possibilities than my conscious, with it’s programming can come up with.

So DRLD was a good choice for my custom. I plan on running it for at least a year. No matter what I choose, it’s going to be hacking away at those limitations and opening me up to the possibilities.

I’ve been thinking about a Primal CWON custom. I think it would be a great follow up to SI/Spartan custom. It’s just that I feel like it’s time to get the money handled, yet I’m more interested in the freedom and flow side of life.

I’m sure I’ll be fine on the NWE. That might actually be the magic sauce for me. I’ve never had huge success with money and it never lasted. So that’s why I always retreated back to the healing and inner game focus. For me I knew it was internal rather than external, yet it’s been challenging at times to break through the social and money ceilings I’ve had. Solitude is great I get blissed out at times, I can get into the flow and harmony of life but my two tough spots were social and money. I feel like for me those were internal game issues.