Well it already happened years ago in another relationship…
The only difference was that this time the girlfriend at the time told me after a long time, not the first time it had happened.
I ended up shutting down almost completely, avoiding sex with her, “Better not to risk if I’m not 100% sure…” (and yeah this is not comunicating indeed)
And obviously this, among other things, ruined our relationship.
Since I started using Genesis, my mood seems to have become quite unstable. I cannot deny that there have been moments when I felt better, more energetic, and positive about the future. However, there have also been challenging days when I felt overwhelmed by negative thoughts and uncertainties.
One of the main issues I continue to experience is my difficulty in social situations. I often find myself feeling out of place, as if I cannot interact with others naturally. This brings about deep frustration and a sense of isolation.
Even in my relationship, things haven’t always been easy. We’ve had some discussions, and it worries me. I wonder if maybe we are spending too much time together and if we both need some space. I believe I have grown attached to her more than I admit to myself, and that scares me. I fear losing her or that she might get bored with me, especially since she values having fun in social situations, while it’s almost impossible for me.
These feelings of attachment and fear are rooted in my past, and I realize that I am carrying them into this relationship. It’s as if a part of me fears not being enough for her, even though I know I shouldn’t think that way. I try to hide these emotions, but I’m afraid they might negatively impact our relationship.
As I mentioned before, the relationship started as an “open relationship,” but for various reasons, she decided to try being exclusive for a while, meaning no sexual encounters with other people. However, when I’m alone, and she’s, for example, at a party, my mind starts imagining scenarios where she engages sexually with someone else. Strangely, it’s as if a part of me is trying to manifest that reality, seeking justification for feeling anger or fury.
What concerns me is that I don’t see any improvement in these dynamics. I had hoped that Genesis would help me overcome these challenges, but so far, I haven’t succeeded. Perhaps it will take more time, or maybe I need a different approach. In any case, I’m aware that these difficulties cannot be ignored, and I want to find a way to confront and overcome them.
Meanwhile, on the work front, there haven’t been any updates. The only thing that comes to mind right now is whether it might be worthwhile to take more time off work to explore new possibilities. I think “Wanted” is still yielding results. For instance, last night at a party, I received many glances and smiles. However, ever since I started using Genesis, my mind has been plagued by feelings of insecurity and embarrassment.
Last night, I had a strange dream:
I found myself completely naked in what seemed to be a quarry, with huge rocks piled up everywhere and the typical sound of heavy machinery at work.
The sky was very overcast, and while I initially felt endangered due to my nudity, gradually, I started feeling better about it.
At one point, however, a worker in a vehicle came towards me, and I tried to hide, slipping into a vast concrete building, similar to a large garage from my childhood, which felt dark and frightening.
In the dream, I experienced the same sense of fear, unable to see the bottom of the building. At the same time, though, I understood that it was something I had to go through.
The building turned into a dark tunnel, and I began to fall.
Then I woke up.
Interesting dream!
Still on Wanted, AscMogul, Genesis for the stack?
Yes, exactly!
It’s crazy how the healing aspects show up in dreams and meditation (in my case).
Once I was running Khan1/TB and meditating where I veg out on this beach I constructed in my head as part of a Daytime Lucid Dreaming course. Up to that point, I’d used to stare out over the water.
This time, the water just disappeared. Showed a lot of ruins of broken-down buildings and structures that were underwater before it vanished.
Quite literal in that case.
I instinctively thought of Genesis, but it could also be one of the other two 
I think more than likely, because the other two have their own brand of topical healing (i.e. healing related to the goals of the sub), it’s all 3 synergizing into the kind of healing experiences you most need/want.
Thanks for your input 
I realize now that my response might seem like I was discounting what you said. That wasn’t my intent. I am just delighted that I’m not the only one seeing direct evidence of the healing processes at work.
This past weekend, I went camping with my girlfriend and some of her friends, and it was a mix of highs and lows.
Overall, it was a wonderful experience, and I had a lot of fun. However, there were moments when my mood became quite difficult to manage. We didn’t engage in any intimate activities during these three days, and even though I know (we discussed it) that the reasons weren’t due to her lack of interest, thoughts started to creep into my mind, such as ‘Is she growing tired of me?’ ‘Does she crave someone more exciting or fun?’ These thoughts all stem from my own insecurities.
This same uneasiness translated into my struggles with interacting with others, especially since they are all younger than me, including my girlfriend. Perhaps this dynamic affects me, and as usual, my response is to put up a protective barrier that might not be very welcoming to others.
Due to her youthfulness and outgoing nature, even small things like attention from other men trigger feelings of jealousy (and again, insecurity) in me, leading me to react defensively once more. The ironic part is that she’s clearly infatuated with me, and right after she expresses her affection through small gestures, I find myself in this unpleasant state, unable to truly value her efforts, sometimes even responding in ways that hurt her or make her withdraw.
Yesterday, she was discussing with two of her friends the possibility of moving in together (because she wants to experience it for at least a year), and once again, my mood took a downturn, causing my insecurities to resurface.
Later in the evening, she told me ‘I love you’ (which in Italian is more like ‘I feel in love with you’) for the first time, and I could barely manage to respond with ‘me too.’
I that moments like this has happened on multiple occasions, and in these moment she looks confused obviously.
Even after such a short period both of us find it challenging to limit our time together. We love the time spent together but is we’ve both recognized that to make an effort to spend time apart occasionally might be beneficial.
Today, as I was driving back home from work, I realized I was on the brink of emotional overload, a pattern I’ve noticed recently. When I arrived home, I experienced a moment of crying and anger, which I released through the punching bag.
I’m starting to realize that the the “lonely wolf” attitude I had all my life might a way to prevent the difficulties I have in relationships, and more generally in the social area.
I had a fight with my girlfriend this morning.
She spent yesterday with some friends, and that reignited a familiar pang of jealousy within me. I’m grappling with whether this is rooted in my own insecurities or if there’s another underlying cause. I can’t shake the feeling that I harbor deep-seated anger that’s always looking for an outlet, often over imaginary scenarios (yesterday i even tried to figure out if there was a way to access her phone and see her chats 
)
Whenever there’s even a playful hint at questioning my masculine strength, my response tends to be overblown. In our intimate moments, it’s become evident that she desires a more assertive, dominant side of me. While I’ve made strides in this area compared to past relationships, there are moments when I find myself holding back. For instance, when she says things like, “tell me anything you want,” or comments about using my aggressive energy in our intimate moments, I just shut down.
I’m trying to discern whether this hesitancy stems from personal insecurity, shyness, or a fear of conflating she expressing her desires with commands (leading to a role reversal?). The idea of relinquishing control is challenging for me. Even something as simple as her taking the lead during our intimate moments feels strange and “danger”.
And this morning this raging side of me emerged. Even though we’d been playfully teasing each other, I suddenly uttered some rather harsh words.
Though we addressed the issue and reconnected later, I can’t help but feel that I might have caused a lasting hurt. This possibly ties back to the deep-rooted perfectionism I’ve had since childhood, this notion that “I mustn’t make mistakes” or the fear that “I inevitably ruin everything.”
As for Genesis I’m feeling stagnant. My direction remains unclear. Yet, there are days when I spontaneously experience gratitude for my blessings, which might be linked to the LBFH aura in Genesis.
Right now, my emotions are heavy. I’ve become acutely aware of my limitations in our relationship, and there’s this looming feeling that I’m on the path to damaging it.
Please, if someone can give me some help 
Question for you. Have you discussed any of these challenges with her? Not just the things that might hurt her after the fact, but the reasons why it’s showing up in your relationship?
Yes, things about repressed anger… fear of losing control/making mistakes… jelousy…
Sometimes my mind even fear I’m over exposing myself and ruin some ideal realtionship I guess
That’s good. My piece of advice is don’t ruminate on potentially damaging and ending the relationship. It can be a self fulfilling prophecy. It’s also an escape from the feelings being brought up in this relationship. If the relationship collapses then you don’t have to face those deeper emotions.
Keep being honest with her. The next time something does come up in the moment try to communicate that with her. Even if you can’t identify it clearly in the moment. Sometimes when you revisit things after the fact there’s time for defense mechanics to engage again or overthink. But if you tackle it in the moment there’s a spontaneity and less thinking and more feeling.
She sounds supportive. If she’s stuck around despite all this it seems like she wants you to open up more and connect.
Do you feel comfortable around her? Or does it feel like you’re on guard in a way?
I feel veeeeery good with her almost all the time… Still I feel I get “defensive” when something happens that apparently damage my image (as I was saying before not being assertive “enough”, in control, the thought of being cheated…)
I’ve added S&S X to my stack that now is composed by:
I’ve listened to it twice, but I’m still experiencing what is described in my post above
According to her, the issue is just her pre-cycle she has no desire (although I have doubts here because every now and then she has moments of desire).
For example, last night this happened:
I reached her at her house, the evening was pleasant and playful (even with sexual allusions, etc.).
Then we went to bed, we haven’t had sex for a while and with the fact that she’s pre-period I didn’t want to risk it (maybe I’m also shutting down a bit).
I think I have a very strong sexual energy chakra and I often start to feel like a fire in my lower abdomen, this makes it difficult for me to sleep.
In the morning I ask her how she is and she says that she is worried about me, seeing me having difficulty falling asleep she immediately thought that I missed sex, she felt “obliged” to do it but she held back.
I also ask her why she came to bed only in a t-shirt. She replies that she would have liked to receive oral sex, but she thought it was bad to ask because she didn’t want to reciprocate…
I say that lately we’re not “aligned” sexually and she bursts into tears. Because (first time I’ve heard it) she’s always had this problem, in her words “why does someone always have to want to have sex?”, “I thought about talking about it with the psychologist too”
I tell her that I don’t think she has any sexual problems, in fact she is the most sexual girl I have ever met. However, I think that mutual blocks are being created, and that it is not useful to put everything under the “umbrella” of the pre-cycle, that is just a way to not talk or think about this.
Sorry to hear that man. SSX seems like a good add. Healing and escalation all at once with NRE. Curious to see what happens for you.
If you run your stack with Wanted on one Listening day, and then Gen/SS on another, she could likely benefit from the Gen/SS loops too!
Maybe next cycle
I was currently doing
But I was thinking of rearraging it like you suggest because of Wanted energy consumption due to physical shifting
She’d definitely benefit from SS.
This is definitely a case of her wanting to seduce you but feeling like she can’t.
And trust me, once you gave her oral sex, she would’ve gotten honey and had sex, 8 times out of 10 