Do you want to be with someone who is also involved, or kinda-sorta-involved, with someone else?
Some times these open relationships are framed to others as “are you secure enough to handle them”. But what if security wasn’t the issue. What if you just don’t want that?
Why one would resist the thing if not for insecurity, jealousy, need for self-confirmation?
Can you not think of other reasons?
Cultural reasons, religious reasons comes to mind
Completed
Wantend 8th
AM 4rd
Genesis 1st
I think Genesis it’s already kicking in…
I’ve got some mild recon during this first cycle, or I could say a beginning of some kind of introspection.
Despite the fact that sex is going great now, with the girl being almost worshipping me (clearly wanted) my mood goes up and down, at times feeling melancholy and often emptiness.
I feel myself drawn to meditation again and understanding reality.
My shortcomings are often magnified and I can see them clearly. A feeling of inadequacy in social situations, where I often find myself unable to communicate anything at all. A sense of lack of direction in life, mainly on the professional area, but also affecting other aspects of life.
And as I said previously about my current relationship, a strong jealousy and fear of not being up to par. A couple of times it prevented me from sleeping, but which now seems to begin to integrate/resolve.
Something I’m experiencing in common with the others, I’m having weird dreams even though most of the time I have a hard time remembering them.
Sorry if this is off track, but there’s something helpful that I feel like sharing with you.
I used to get extremely jealous of men around my partner.
The sub that fixed that for me was EOG ST1.
Of all things!!! How did a wealth sub help me with sex and self confidence?
It helped me because it addressed my specific fears, even though it isn’t advertised for relationships, it helped because my relationship fears were actually insecurity around not being financially “good enough.”
I was jealous and fearful thinking that my partner would want to leave me for someone richer. I was broke. I was insecure about my own finances. And I projected onto her my own shame - if I didn’t like my financial status, she wouldn’t like it either. She never did anything to give off that impression, it was just a firm belief I held.
Then when I listened to EOG, that went away, and the fear went away, because my money beliefs healed. Even though the sub wasn’t relationship-related, it helped a lot.
I’m not saying run EOG!
What I’m inviting you to do, if you’re open to it, is to ask yourself what it is about that other guy’s strengths or about your own weaknesses that brought up all the jealousy in the first place.
How do you compare yourself to him?
What do you feel like he’s “better than you” at? Or, how is he “better than you” in some way.
I’m basically referring to this, but do some deeper introspection.
Play out a scenario in your mind and think through it slowly. Take 20-30 minutes to go to a park or something, no cell phone, just to be by yourself and sit through this uncomfortable thought experiment.
If she left you for him, what would her justification be?
“He’s just so_______?”
“You’re just so_____?”
And then assign part of your subliminal stack to exclusively working on THAT.
For example, just based off what you said, feeling inadequate socially, lacking direction, and lacking professionally, I’d say maybe you’d want to run something like Emperor.
Emperor helps socially, it helps with direction and an inner blaze, and it helps financially.
You’re already running AM, which is along a similar thread, but Emperor I think would be awesome for you as it’s more sexually focused on top of the financial side of things.
Or if you haven’t already ran Khan, perhaps replace AM with Khan to go DEEP on this issue of insecurity. Khan + Wanted, in my experience on this forum, is the single most insane results-producing stack available to anyone.
Or to make your stack really light but targeted towards this goal, maybe just run true social or power can corrupt, so that you feel totally in control and valued during social situations.
And I know this strategy of patching up weaknesses to fix jealousy works, because, my girlfriend is terrified that I’m going to leave her all the time. She literally just thinks she’s not all that hot, not the “sexy” type… even though she definitely is, but everyone has some insecurity about themselves that’s totally fine.
So what I told her to do, was, I told her about the same experience I told you, and how I used to be jealous of other men that had money, and now I’m not at all…
She asked me how it is I’m never jealous. And I told her straight up, I went and got successful in what I thought I was shitty at, and what I was afraid people were better than me at. Even though I’m not the richest guy by any stretch of the imagination, I know I’m good enough, and even before I started making more money, I gained a bunch of confidence just knowing I was going to work on it and have it in the future.
There’s so much to be said for self-acceptance and self-esteem and loving yourself no matter what and all… but at the same time, there’s something to be VALUED in insecurity - it’s a guidepost on what we care about enough to sacrifice for.
Because she’s jealous of other women because of their bodies, she’s taken the same approach and tried as hard as she can to focus on her own looks instead of worry about everyone else’s, and it’s been extremely effective for her. So that makes me think that now that she’s making progress on her own fitness, other people’s fitness doesn’t matter so much to her.
For me, when I started making progress in my own career, other people’s careers don’t matter as much to me.
Thanks for your insights @Jouissance !
In general I was trying to switch titles to early because “I’m not seeing results yet”… how much is too early? I was giving myself 6 months to test a title.
I think that lack of direction in life is a main theme for me and it is influencing my relationship for sure (“after all I’m am quite older then her and should have a much more clear direction”).
That’s why I chose Genesis, which is specific for that " Discover Your Purpose, Develop a Strong Sense of Adventure and Courage, Achieve Your Goals" (and more… lol).
And thinking about it my lack of social skills have influenced my previous relationship too. She was often trying to share experiences with others, I was like “meh… I don’t care, I care about you and me”.
But again I’ve just started my 5th cycle of AM (so almost 3 months) and I chose it because in my current situation (I have a shop that I was trying to sell, before being hit by the flood and now practically unsellable) my bank account is safe (at least for a few years), but there is no 'is a real profit
You say this but also that she’s worshipping you thanks to wanted
So obviously you’re getting results 
Sex results come fast because it’s 100% internal - she responds directly to you.
Money results take longer because you need to have the internal change, keep that internal change, and then use that new internal dialogue to directly interface with and influence the world.
Yes with “I’m not seeing results yet” I was talking about AM and Genesis (that I’ve just started so it’s obvious).
As I say in my previous posts it’s pretty clear I’m getting some results from Wanted, even some subtle physical one
Wantend 9th
AM 5th
Genesis 2nd
My girl had past experiences with a guy that had sex with her even when she was not in the mood. She wasn’t telling him directly because she felt it was her duty; also the boy had told her it was painful not to ejaculate every day.
Yesterday night we had sex and after that I noticed she was strange, I asked her about it and then she expressed that right before sex she was not in the mood, but it felt like she should have reciprocated the fact that I had made her come just before.
Now, I don’t want her to think that I “pretend” from her, she has no duty to me, and sex should be fun not a duty. I already expressed this to her in my words but I don’t know if I’ve passed the message
A part from this sex is great, my stamina is way up now (I think PE is gone!) and she go crazy when I go down on her.
I still want to be more uninhibited, giving commands, directing sex, etc…
Work is really boring lately and I still dont know how to solve the mess I’m in. I often think about something related to music would be a good and funny job for me.
I also feel drawn to social titles… my skills were not great at all, but lately it seems they are getting worse. I often found myself without any arguments at all
Man I’ve been through this, working through my partner’s previous beliefs around sex. One thing that shocked me was that I basically introduced her to the concept of foreplay. At first, she’d just hop on top of me and try to orgasm (and make me orgasm) as fast as she possibly could. It was a destination, not a journey.
So I led and slowly showed her how to have sex in a more open, intimate way. We went slower, did lots of foreplay, I went down on her more often to make it more about her, things that you’re already doing from the sounds of it! I noticed that the more open we got, the better my PE became as well… so we’ve got that in common - trust with a partner absolutely helps how long I last.
Right now she probably thinks she has a bit of a duty to it, there’s a lack of communication there… and I would say “on her end,” but, that’s not how relationships work. Saying it’s on her end or on your end is just placing blame, when in reality, there’s a lack of communication in your relationship about when she actually wants sex.
It’ll improve as trust around this topic improves, it’ll improve as repeated conversations about this topic are had, and it’ll improve as you get comfortable around it yourself, to provide leadership.
For example, the responsibility right now is on you, if she’s not giving you 100% FUCK YES!!! energy, treat it as a no, even if you want it so bad it drives you crazy.
That may not be what you want your relationship to be like long-term, but it’ll bridge the gap, it’ll build the trust, and it’ll show her she can open up about this.
And when she does, and when you guys create your own definitions of sex and intimacy, I promise you, WOW WILL YOUR SEX LIFE BE GOOD!
For now, take a look at the Divine Diamond objectives. Not even to run DD, but simply to just understand what subclub’s definition of “deeper connection” is… then use those objectives alongside Wanted to start creating some of that in your relationship through communication.
Also, just for overall communication and present moment, it wouldn’t hurt to play Genesis around your partner if she’s open to that kind of thing. I asked my partner how she felt about me playing subliminals around her and her philosophy was “well I don’t believe in it so yeah I have no problem if you play it around me”
Now she’s using them extremely actively and it’s a big part of her growth!
Sorry, long post, but it’s just awesome that you guys are in this stage where you have the opportunity to redefine what sex and intimacy means to you and have a relationship of it that is 100% your own, in a way that satisfies you both to the fullest.
Also, if you’re looking for subs, Emperor was a HUGE HELP to my relationship… you’d think it’s not great for monogamous relationships, but it literally saved my relationship I’d say. Deeper trust as I showed up more, I was much more loving because I was able to hold space for her emotions, since I was so rock-solid myself, I was able to lead, give commands, direct sex more with masculine presence, I was more goal oriented, and I was more centered, so that my partner was a compliment to me instead of a crutch for me (which is exactly the kind of dynamic a relationship needs for a woman to truly trust your leadership.)
So if you ever upgrade from AM to Emperor, expect a relationship upgrade as well
Well it already happened years ago in another relationship…
The only difference was that this time the girlfriend at the time told me after a long time, not the first time it had happened.
I ended up shutting down almost completely, avoiding sex with her, “Better not to risk if I’m not 100% sure…” (and yeah this is not comunicating indeed)
And obviously this, among other things, ruined our relationship.
Since I started using Genesis, my mood seems to have become quite unstable. I cannot deny that there have been moments when I felt better, more energetic, and positive about the future. However, there have also been challenging days when I felt overwhelmed by negative thoughts and uncertainties.
One of the main issues I continue to experience is my difficulty in social situations. I often find myself feeling out of place, as if I cannot interact with others naturally. This brings about deep frustration and a sense of isolation.
Even in my relationship, things haven’t always been easy. We’ve had some discussions, and it worries me. I wonder if maybe we are spending too much time together and if we both need some space. I believe I have grown attached to her more than I admit to myself, and that scares me. I fear losing her or that she might get bored with me, especially since she values having fun in social situations, while it’s almost impossible for me.
These feelings of attachment and fear are rooted in my past, and I realize that I am carrying them into this relationship. It’s as if a part of me fears not being enough for her, even though I know I shouldn’t think that way. I try to hide these emotions, but I’m afraid they might negatively impact our relationship.
As I mentioned before, the relationship started as an “open relationship,” but for various reasons, she decided to try being exclusive for a while, meaning no sexual encounters with other people. However, when I’m alone, and she’s, for example, at a party, my mind starts imagining scenarios where she engages sexually with someone else. Strangely, it’s as if a part of me is trying to manifest that reality, seeking justification for feeling anger or fury.
What concerns me is that I don’t see any improvement in these dynamics. I had hoped that Genesis would help me overcome these challenges, but so far, I haven’t succeeded. Perhaps it will take more time, or maybe I need a different approach. In any case, I’m aware that these difficulties cannot be ignored, and I want to find a way to confront and overcome them.
Meanwhile, on the work front, there haven’t been any updates. The only thing that comes to mind right now is whether it might be worthwhile to take more time off work to explore new possibilities. I think “Wanted” is still yielding results. For instance, last night at a party, I received many glances and smiles. However, ever since I started using Genesis, my mind has been plagued by feelings of insecurity and embarrassment.
Last night, I had a strange dream:
I found myself completely naked in what seemed to be a quarry, with huge rocks piled up everywhere and the typical sound of heavy machinery at work.
The sky was very overcast, and while I initially felt endangered due to my nudity, gradually, I started feeling better about it.
At one point, however, a worker in a vehicle came towards me, and I tried to hide, slipping into a vast concrete building, similar to a large garage from my childhood, which felt dark and frightening.
In the dream, I experienced the same sense of fear, unable to see the bottom of the building. At the same time, though, I understood that it was something I had to go through.
The building turned into a dark tunnel, and I began to fall.
Then I woke up.
Interesting dream!
Still on Wanted, AscMogul, Genesis for the stack?
Yes, exactly!
It’s crazy how the healing aspects show up in dreams and meditation (in my case).
Once I was running Khan1/TB and meditating where I veg out on this beach I constructed in my head as part of a Daytime Lucid Dreaming course. Up to that point, I’d used to stare out over the water.
This time, the water just disappeared. Showed a lot of ruins of broken-down buildings and structures that were underwater before it vanished.
Quite literal in that case.
I instinctively thought of Genesis, but it could also be one of the other two 
I think more than likely, because the other two have their own brand of topical healing (i.e. healing related to the goals of the sub), it’s all 3 synergizing into the kind of healing experiences you most need/want.
Thanks for your input 