It’s possible that I had more neck problems at the beginning of DRST1. I can’t say exactly at the moment. However, I know that I had some. These are now completely gone. I don’t know if DRST1 made it worse at the beginning. What pleases me the most is that my back pain is completely gone. I hope everything stays that way.
DR + CFW is your idea of easy? Wow. Following this journal.
Definitely hardcore - and I think you started off in the depths of recon hell with your earlier stack, so much so that by comparison, CFW + DR feels like a piece of cake.
No harm in running DR ST 2 solo, either. That’s the main recommendation, OR, running it with a very light and simple sub like Godlike Masculinity or The Elixir or Limit Destroyer. Not CFW, which is pretty much tied with DR for being one of the hardest subs to run!
But I love that you’re combining them - please don’t stop! I want to see where this goes
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Here running DR with CFW since April. Now on CFW+DRST3. Here is my journal:
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This is from the Daoist tradition, maybe it may interest you
It show emotional stagnation areas
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Thank you! Very interesting will save it and take a deeper look.
A few things I’ve noticed lately.
The weekend before last I was going to the beach, my car left me stranded, normally I would have reacted with anger, frustration etc …
This time, however, I took it as “an adventure” and I was still in a good mood.
Arrived at the sea by public transport (in total it took me 4 hours instead of 40 minutes) I spent a nice afternoon.
In the evening there was some DJ set and I danced practically the whole time. The weird thing is that in 36 years of life I think I’ve hardly ever danced … lol
This weekend, on the other hand, I spent it in a tent at the river.
I was alone and this is also new to me, never done if there was no one with me.
Arrived there the first day I met a girl and without anxiety etc I approached her and started a conversation.
This is also quite unusual for me.
When I was younger it was usually girls looking for me (good old times hahaha) then I was in a relationship from 22 to 34 years, which in a way prevented me from learning how to approach women.
The last 2 years I have practically had no relationships for this very reason and for insecurities about sexuality, self worth, etc I’ve developed in the last years of that long relationship.
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Tomorrow it will start my third cycle.
I think I’ll go with Stage 2 and again CFW.
If you think it would be better to stick with Stage 1 or maybe switching CFW with something more related to relationships etc I’m open for suggestions 
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How about do stage 1 and CFW?
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Sorry I dont know if I get what you mean… But I’ve done already 2 cycles of Stage 1
The second cycle was Stage 1+CFW (maybe you mean do a third cycle of Stage1+CFW?)
Anyway, having no other suggestions I went with my sentiment and started Stage 2+CFW last tuesday
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1st cycle DRst2+CFW - Day 5 -
Just a quick update: My mood is getting a bit down already… lol
I’ve noticed thats when I start feel down I get the impulse to watch porn/release sexual tension (I’m not currently in any relatipnship).
Today it’s about 3 weeks of retention
If you need to take an extra rest day, how about it?
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Mmm you mean for the bad mood?
Its still quite managable and I know there will be some kind of recon anyway
Maybe zoom out a bit, imagine what actions your 5-year older me would be proud of. Would you be proud to have used the time like that?
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You mean listening to subs?
You can view it for a lot. But on an example of watching porn and stuff, even in the moment it feels nice, watching back from the future, would you be proud having used X hours on watching porn? You can also use it for fast food.
And this exercise is not there for feeling guilty or ashamed but for taking action towards things that will make you proud of yourself, to take responsibility and action on areas that are important for you.
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Oh now I get what you mean!
I think it can be good as a very basic understanding (though there is risk of shame and suppression)
Then going further its seen as a looking for love and happiness from outside sources (due to ignorance), this indeed promotes compassion toward oneself
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Yes, it can be interpreted first in a bad way, self forgiving is important, nobody is without failure and you have to ignore the past a bit and focus on who you want to become.
Imagine todays habits build the character you are in 5 years. With which habits do you want to create that character.
You cannot build a strong character with weak habits.
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Thanks for your suggestions
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1st cycle DR st2 + CFW - Day 8 - Rest day
The low mood of the last few days is improving (probably due to meditation and other shadow work).
Had some pretty clear intuition while doing self-inquiry. The ego was cleary seen as just arising in consciousness, like physical sensations, percepitions etc… no more, no less.
There was still a sense of I, but not definible through adjectives, like empty space.
There is smooth release of body tension, emotional resistance and even “mind resistance”.
I wonder if having clear insight into what ego really is (and at some moments even recognizing no-self) would support sublimnals efficacy or otherwise oppose it (“removing the ground” so to speak).
Any ideas/experiences?
That’s a great question. It will support efficacy for sure, but it will be more difficult to accomplish in the beginning. To give an example, most people come to subliminal to get more money, woman, status whatever the case may be. While nothing is wrong with that, it’s mostly based around your ego. It’s something you have to obtain to feel better about yourself and makes you feel whole. This is more than okay, it’s even necessary to go through these stages to learn thyself better. You first have to make a lot of money to start to understand that it’s not that important (It is important don’t get me wrong, but you start seeing it as a tool not a goal).
So when you begin to dissect the ego, you’ll start to understand more about what you truly desire. And while doing that, the no-self and the ego will start walking hand in hand. So yeah, removing the ground is efficacy, but you will have to go through this road while not knowing who de f… you are and what you stand for. That’s what they call the unknown. I’ll hope that helps
PS: Be prepared for being extremely tired when you’re going this deep. When the ego is dissolving, all the build up tension and energy from not expressing who you truly are will be released. That’s why those Indian mystics look so damn young and peaceful, almost no ego left haha. Be careful not just to see it as recon, it’s way more then that
Oh maybe another tip that helps. For me using CFW before DR makes the recon less. I think this is because you start with something light first to get your brains going. Like a starter before the main dish to get your digestion going.
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