I’m genuinely pissed that I faild my bench today, twice. Even got someone to spot me and I couldn’t get the weight up for 1 rep, when I hit 4 reps on July 10 of the same weight. I also was able to 7 reps of 10 pounds less, so the fact that I couldn’t get it up for even 1 rep pissed me off.
I feel frustrated, embarrassed, a bit ashamed and dumb. I knew I felt off today but I wanted to push anyway, and I fucking failed the lift. I wasn’t there mentally and that pisses me off.
I was hoping that 2 weeks without busting a nut would have been able to push me across but it didn’t. I’m really fucking annoyed as a result.
Is Eudaimonia, and specifically, Love Bomb for Humanity making me soft?
I remember @AlexanderGraves mentioning a similar effect on him, I’m wondering if it’s worth it to continue to run LBFH, since there is quite a bit of healing and it does do its best to soften you for others. Wanted Black is helping me with my self image and self love I think, so that basically makes LBFH redundant.
So the biggest lesson I’ve learned from creating 2 customs at once, is that 1) I shouldn’t do that shit during peak STKS season and 2) Deep Sleep needs to be in every custom from now on, doesn’t matter how many times it appears in my stack, it needs to be there because the modularity of my stack is reduced significantly without it.
So I enjoyed LBFH but I feel like I’m getting a bit too soft with it. I want to renew my focus on money making as well, and I like Chosen in my stack. I also want to focus on the romance side of my life, as I feel like Wanted Black has opened up a new chapter and I just can’t close it yet, in good conscious.
So what’s the next plan?
Update Eudaimonia with Wanted Black & Primal Seduction as the 2 other cores with Chosen, keep the modules relatively the same (except with Deep Sleep now included).
Then, run Heartsong on the side and see how that goes.
Trash Eudaimonia, create a Chosen+Mogul custom and then create a Wanted Black + Primal Seduction + Heartsong custom.
Same as 2, but no Heartsong.
Update Eudaimonia with PS instead of S&S + Deep Sleep module, and replace Wanted Black with Heartsong.
Same as 4, but keep Wanted Black in the stack.
Leaning towards number 1, because it keeps costs lowest, risk lowest but my only objection is that I’m still not focusing on money. However, with Heartsong being separate it gives me an ability to introduce Phronesis back into the mix if necessary. And if I really like Heartsong, I can always replace WB core with it. It also gives me the experience with these modules so that down the line, if I do like the combination I can execute plan 2 (which is the ideal plan, but contains the most inherent risk).
Eudaemonia Black: Chosen Core
Primal Seduction Core
Wanted Black Core
So I keep selling the bag with my romantic situations. I’m able to generate great initial attraction but am fumbling the bag and fuck up the escalation somehow, which is annoying to say the least.
Maybe it’s all in our head bro, why do you believe it’s even possible to fumble the bag? If she was initially attracted to you, she likes you, no situation can really make you look bad… you’re just human, after all….
If you’re at a party, a girl is all over you, accepting your physical advances, initiates further and then the topic, instead of going in a sexual direction (which it was going to, until “the bag was fumbled”) leads to something that makes her ask you to take her hand off her leg, and that level of physical intimacy never returns throughout the night, what would you call that?
“if no resistances or obstacles face you, you must create them. No seduction can proceed without them.”
Art of seduction
This might go the absolute opposite direction than you expected but
What if you never had the bag?
What if the bag actually presented itself after you got “rejected”
Now I’m not saying that this was your queue to go hard and try to win her over, she might have had enough with you for good. But think of the possibilities, if you were to begin thinking in terms of obstacle as the way to really win women’s hearts instead of the illusion of the effortless seduction.
It’s called shit tests. Where the girl tests you to see if you are a real man basically.
You just gotta play the cold card and show her you’re an alpha and have other options. Talk to other girls nonchalantly. That’s what she wants to see. If you come too hot, you fail the test and she thinks you’re too available and seen as a red flag.
Girls are a game of push and pull. Don’t ever give ‘em too much of your attention.
That or you did something inappropriate or aggressive that turned her off.
Thank you, means a lot coming from you. I’ve been told for my entire life that I am way too hard on myself; I’m a perfectionist, and it’s been a lifelong struggle for me to battle because this perfectionist mindset hurts my self-love and self-conception/image. Something that I definitely need to work on for sure.
Hmmmm, this is very interesting - it peaks my interest, I need to reflect on this further as I feel like you’re definitely onto something but I’m not too sure how to articulate it for myself.
Exactly what I described basically. To give more details, we were touching each other, talking, making extended eye contact, I had my arm around her waist and my hand rubbing her inner thigh near her knee. The topic of sex came up and I didn’t know how to continue it and that’s where I felt I fumbled the bag, because I should have been more ready to approach the topic of sex in multiple ways conversationally as that contributes a lot to the sexual vibe. I didn’t, and the girl was very comfortable with me so the conversation went from one thing to another and then she eventually brought up something very personal that basically killed the entire vibe. She deescalates the sexual tension once that’s brought up, I deescalate as well ('cause in my head I’m like wtf why are you bringing this up to a dude you’ve known for a total of 30 minutes hahahaha) and eventually I just go away and move on to socialize with other people.
She eventually comes back to talk to me later on, and that would’ve been a good opportunity for me to resume sexual tension with her but the vibe wasn’t right and I wasn’t in the same mindset as I was when we first started speaking, so it just wasn’t the same.
Thanks to the presence of S&S in my stack I was able to understand all of these insights in hours, whereas old me would have just been confused and blamed himself for not being good enough. But I can feel my skill increasing dramatically with every sexual/romantic attraction I have, and I’m beginning to realize how crucial it is for me to get more “reps” in, like I’m working out at a gym.
Hope the above explains it. It’s because my physical behavior did not shift at the same time as the conversational topic, and it went from super hot to super cold instantly. At one moment it was totally fine but after she revealed those personal details about herself, it made what i was doing aggressive.
Anyways, it was a great learning experience I must say. I’m happy it happened.
Eh, even if I don’t I know I’ll have plenty to learn at the end of it.
Fact is that I have spent 2 years leveling up almost every part of my life except dating and romance, so it’s only natural that I have work to do in that field.
I’m grateful for any successes and any failures, they all represent learning experiences at the end of the day.
So I purchased a new version of Eudaimonia when I was in recon, we’re going to see how it goes - Chosen, WB and PS is going to be quite the combination to test out.
With that said, I think a Chosen/Mogul/KBBC4 custom with a WB/S&S or PS/RoN/HS custom could be quite a fucking combination.
Asked a girl out who was giving me a stupid amount of signals, she refused.
Man it feels like the girls that are interested are too shy to give more clear signals, whereas the girls that love male attention just flirt hard as fuck just to get as many guys around them as possible. Such an asshole move.
Oh well, can’t blame 'em, that’s just the market for ya. Gotta keep it moving, happy I finally got the monkey off my back though.
