Strong in body, brave from body

Journals - Major Programs
#100

The custom’s here, I’m excited to begin this next cycle. I don’t take washouts this long usually so this stack will truly be a fresh start.

I also decided that I’m going to wait just a little bit before I buy the 2nd custom that I had plans for. The reason is that I want to run Khan Black and see how that goes; I have a lot of energy-related modules in the ‘pseudo-Kaizen’ build, so I wonder if embarking on the Khan Black journey will allow me to actually replace some of those modules with something else.

But because I can’t wait, I’m also going to run Genesis to see how that feels. Khan Black, Genesis and my new Chosen custom, Eudaimonia. I’m looking forward to it, this stack seems quite balanced in my eyes.

3 brand new subs, it’s like I’m asking for my brain to be cooked :sweat_smile: Maybe I should stick the 1 title per listening day, could be a good idea.

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#101

The FOMO is too much, screw “isolating the effects”. 2 titles, 7 minutes each, let’s go.

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#102

So I decided to run Eudaimonia (Chosen/LBFH/S&S) today and well, the effects were clear to see externally.

Internally, I haven’t felt much of a shift so far but externally, people were quite nice to me. People are definitely nice to me in general but today I felt more popular than usual I must say.

Now I’m running my first loop of Khan BBC, think I’ll have updates regarding that by tomorrow. I’m currently 6 minutes and 30 seconds into the loop and I already feel some time of ‘energy force’ coursing through my heart/chest, and warmth as well. Let’s see how that goes.

#103

So after 1 loop I am definitely feeling stronger sexual desire. I wonder what can be done to “harness” this.

Looking forward to Genesis + Eudaimonia on Wednesday.

#104

Man I’m feeling really happy and grateful about Eudaimonia, it has everything I need. It just feels so good and it has aspects of so many different cores that I wanted to try out. Power Talk and You Are Not Alone allow me to get the PCC and Inner Circle fix that I otherwise would have missed out on.

I’m just looking forward to the future, and I want to keep running this custom for a long time. It just feels so good and at the same time, I feel like there’s so much work that it can address for me. This alongside the KBBC journey and Genesis might just be my perfect lift-off, as long as I commit to this stack for the rest of 2023 (Genesis will be replaced with a custom but that custom will include Genesis).

Feeling very blessed right now.

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#105

Had to drop these bars somewhere.

#106

I blame my incessant yapping lately on Song of Joy, what an annoying module :joy: I might just rebuild Eudaimonia and replace that module for something else, but other than that it’s been great.

Ran my first loop of Genesis, and definitely enjoyed the boost of productivity that came with it. I’m gonna commit to KBBC for the healing to see where that goes, but I think I’m gonna stick with the custom I planned out here (even if Inner Gasoline is redundant with KBBC in the stack):

Tempted to add something like Facial Morphing instead of Inner Gasoline but that would stick out like a sore thumb.

Also want to add that Genesis LB scripting might definitely be doing its thing, someone who’s quite bitchy at work was much nicer today.

#107

So it seems to me that the company CEO, who’s a very nice and down-to-earth person, doesn’t like me. Don’t know if it’s a culture-fit thing (which was what I heard) or just something about him not liking my personality, which was the impression I got today.

Interesting to see how this will pan out. This place is ultimately a launching pad for me and nothing else, I just need to be smart. I shouldn’t show off my personality to everyone all the time, I have to be a lot more methodical. No more auto-piloting my way through life.

Also think it’s time to make that custom. Still gonna keep on running Genesis and I’ll throw it in the new custom, but to be honest I’m not sure if it’s worth it; I like the idea of adding QL4 or Spartan in there instead but I just feel like Genesis is key for me to round out my base.

Anyway, this is only week 1 of this current stack. June 19 should be the first loop of my updated job custom, so I should be ready to order by June 13.

4 Likes
#108

Its strange but im having this awakening too, the first law of power “never outshine the master” is showing it’s face.

While i stare at coach and think “im so shiny, he’s probably thinking about how cool i am, loving me more by the second” hes probably thinking

“fuck, this guy tries so hard, its really annoying, he’s probably trying to steal my position.”

its easy to forget that they got egos too, they want money, romance, validation… They arent just sitting back waiting to be our fans.

it was a bitter awakening for me but since it’s been a few days since i awoke to it, it seems more and more like a freeing breathe of fresh air, i NO LONGER have to invest any mental energy trying to be shiny, i can be me, i dont have to kiss ass, i can be me, i dont have to try and be funny or witty, i can be me, unapologetically.

And when it comes time to move past them and onto my own benefits, i can do so ruthlessly and without a second thought

5 Likes
#109

That’s very interesting that you say that, because I genuinely feel that I’m not investing any energy into “being shiny” (as you put it). I am just being myself completely.

And it’s odd that the CEO would act like that, I noticed it when I realized he was avoiding eye contact with me. But this is someone who’s a very nice guy, he’s significantly taller than me, he’s jacked, handsome and fucking rich, a real “chad” in the flesh; why the fuck would this dude feel like I’m “outshining” him? It’s quite confusing to me.

I am just trying to be me always. I don’t want to live un-authentically, so it’s a shame that the most important person at my workplace doesn’t seem to like me very much.

Then again, my boss did tell me in a meeting a few weeks ago about how I’m unaware of how much I come across as being “superior” without even realizing it. My ex of 5 years would also always tell me how completely oblivious I was to the effect I would have around others. My autism knows no bounds :joy:

I think LBFH has made me realize that it’s hard for me to take a non-critical view of myself. My perfectionist mindset never has me feeling satisfied, but I’m also a lot more advanced than I realize at times.

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#110

You’re just too charismatic brah, remember that the whole tall chad thing, it’s a crutch, it’s a blessing but also a curse, it could be daunting to see someone who’s textbook less chad than you coming off as someone with more internal stability and swagger, it literally could feel like you’re a phony.

Screw your boss man, also everything you described is how my coach treats me, he avoids eye contact with me for a long time, promised me to give me a fight but then finds excuses to not give me a fight, he’s got this dude fighting soon who hasn’t showed up to training in months and is fat, the last 10 people who fought for him, only one girl keeps winning, everyone else has lost, first round knockout, it really does seem like he has his own agenda.

A good story that sticks in my mind is about a watch given by a grandpa to his grandson that is taken to a pawn shop, where they offer 100 dollars, he takes it to a watch shop and they offer 200, taken to a museum, they offer half a million. If you’re in the wrong place, your value will go unnoticed

3 Likes
#111

Yeah that’s fascinating, thank you for these wise words.

Just to be clear, my boss didn’t say it in a negative way; she was saying it in a similar way to you, and from a place of wanting to help me develop and grow in the future. The CEO is a different person, my boss’ boss if you will.

I hope you find a new gym soon, because this is ridiculous. Be careful, don’t waste your time in the wrong place as there have been many great fighters that weren’t able to showcase their true level because of bad coaches, managers, etc. Emmanuel Augustus is the first name that pops into my mind as a perfect example of that.

Thanks for sharing that, very wise words once again brother.

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#112

Man I feel lonely.

Feel like everyone’s got a pack, a tribe, people they know, a crew, I don’t.

I know how to socialize, how to talk, I’ve got “friends” but I don’t really.

I love the compliments I’ve been getting on my body lately, everyone telling me that I’m jacked now, but I miss the community spirit I had at my Muay Thai gym. Again, over there it was the same thing but at least I could somewhat feel like I was with a group of friends, even if it was only during training and nothing else.

Hm. Mixed emotions right now.

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#113

KBBC is too advanced of a sub for me. I think I need to drop it and start with something lighter, either Primal or Khan stage 1.

I just won’t be able to use KBBC to the fullest without establishing a greater base for myself.

Edit: Or maybe I’m just wilting under the pressure of the healing. This is the moment where I need to bite down under pressure and grind. Gameplan, push it, grow.

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#114

Genesis is pulling me back to Muay Thai, and making me feel immense regret about not having Mogul in my stack.

I stopped wanting to do Muay Thai because it was too hard to fit within the grand scope of my life, that is clear to me now. I stopped MT because of cope, because I wanted to feel like I was still growing and getting better but without my biggest passion.

I like the superficial compliments I get from being more muscular now, but my internal self isn’t the same without Muay Thai in my life.

I have so many goals with my life right now that I’m trying to accomplish, I wish I had space for Muay Thai Mastery in my stack. My ultimate goal was always to have a 3-pronged stack with my personal archetype, my goals to grow, and my fitness. But I feel like I need to heal myself if I truly want to lift off the way I want to, so sacrifices have to be made.

Not a big sacrifice in the grand scheme of things. It’s just a sub. I can still train anyway. Enough with the cope.

#115

Bought my new custom. We’re gonna roll with 2 customs + KBBC. This is gonna be quite the fucking stack, might have to run 1 loop a week of each to be honest.

Phronesis

Core: Mogul
Core: Index Gate
Core: Genesis

APS: Head
Book Blitz
Mimisbrunnr
Job Seeker

Eye of the Storm
Treasure Finder
Victory’s Call
Extreme Exercise Motivation
Carpe Diem Ascended

Negative Energy Transmutation
Inner Blaze
Foundation
The Architect
Metamorphosis

Cosmic Navigator
Achilles’ Heel
Deep Sleep

Alright. Work is set. Person is set. Healing is set.

No more switching stacks. I’m fortunate to not have the need to switch stacks anymore, I’m grateful to not be tempted by the new releases because I have everything I need in my stack. Healing, spirituality, productivity, intellect, social, work, romance, finance, happiness, growth, fulfilment, legacy, physique.

Shit, I’ve even got something for meditation.

What a beautiful stack I’ve found myself with. I mean, I spent a little over 800$ on this stack for a reason, it better be beautiful :sweat_smile:

But seriously, it tackles every aspect of my life in the way I want it to. And the quality of the modules that have been purchased will surely save me quite a bit of money for customs next year.

5 Likes
#116

Low key curious try to big pp ZP just to see what happens if you go from KBBC to BBC.

OK I want big pp but KBBC’s energy generation is just too good to get rid of. I don’t do any of that energy cultivation shit but I can feel KBBC coursing through my veins, I’ve noticed a significant difference in the women I interact with regularly and I can even use this newfound energy during exercise.

KBBC is great and addresses a legitimate problem of mine that I need to overcome to grow as a person.

So spiritual growth, greater interest, better vibes with people and higher energy levels…or big pp…

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#117

Your journal is a rollercoaster

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#118

Hopefully in a good way :sweat_smile: why do you say that however, just curious

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#119

You seem to be torn on the Muay Thai, and the way you almost dropped khan black but then decided not to. How you believe you need to stick more to stacks

On a bright note, it’s good you verbalize this all on your journal as it helps ventilate and regulate, instead of bottling it in and letting recon win

2 Likes