What I’m saying is that, my self-belief (conditioned) to think I’m not social or anti-social, but people laugh when I say I’m introverted. They don’t believe it. So I think it’s just a limiting belief I have.
But then again my girlfriend says I’m extroverted with a bit of introversion. Which means, if it’s a spectrum she thinks I’m closer to extroversion than introversion.
Every archetype has his own way of reaching his goals. Look at Tony Stark witty, charming, charismatic and sometimes arrogant (Stark). So arrogant he shares his home address with the terrorists where he lives together with his other half and then what happens, the terrorists come and bomb his place LOL. Its not something i would do ahahaha.
Bruce Wayne more of introverted character, stays hidden from the public (emperor, emperor black). Despite this he gets things done.
So i am guessing every individual has an affinity for a particular sub that gives them a higher flow factor depending on how close they are to a specific archetype.
Exactly that.
Haha with that story, I think I’m more Stark. Because friends also tell me I say too much. Lol like tell secrets or stuff you don’t want everyone to know.
(Edit not a snitch, so more of talking about stuff with everyone and being open and my friends are more careful of who they show all their cards to)
Yup whereas an Emperor would be rather broody and not give alot away about who he is.
Sounds legit, they are like head down doing their thing from what I understood of saints comments on the new emperor. So aligned with what he says.
Perhaps a hybrid of Khan and Stark would be good. We’ll see, as I’m still unsure if I’m more this or that, or how much it really matters. Perhaps it’s just like too much min-maxing. Plus Invictus had great results combining the two.
Could be. Only way to know is to try. I thought I wouldn’t like Genesis: Mogul when it came out and then tried and that gave me one of the craziest results I’ve ever experienced.
Yeah, that’s the thing too. Sometimes we think we know and then we try something we’ve avoided and wonder why we didn’t start with it from the beginning.
“When the student is ready, the master appears.”
It’s not related, directly, but sometimes we’re not ready for a certain path. Like reading a book again some time later and you don’t understand why you didn’t get the profound insights the first time.
Which is why I’m building a library of books I have to revisit in the future.
Really well explained regarding flow factor, saving this for reference
Back in the QV2 days i found stacking stark and khan worked well for me.
That’s awesome, you had that journey journaled on here?
No i stopped journaling a while back. I now keep an offline private journal.
LBfH is roughing me up man. I love it, but it sneaks up on you and then you realise a while later “oh, recon, I’m growing right now.”
Like soreness after a beast leg day at the gym.
I think this is the way. I’m thinking thoughts like, “Can I love myself unconditionally?”
“Can I be okay with me and my life as I am?”
“Can I love myself even if I don’t reach the success I crave and the external validation?”
“Can I be okay with me living an average life but doing what I love?”
It’s weird. It’s like I’m reconciling my biggest drive and motivators. Which as my last cycle with WB showed, is the drive of self-hate, not self-love. It’s hard to explain.
But this sub is definitely something I want to work with. Might be too much for longer periods of time, especially if I get another kid or have a stressful period in life. But it’s something that I need to work on as well.
It’s not about not going for your dreams. It’s about loving urself by default and then from there go for your dreams. It’s a subtle inner shift with major effects.
I’ve only reported inner stuff lately here, but it’s really important to remember the external manifestations:
My best friend, who I never thought was an introvert, go figure, told me he was. This guy I look up to, and he really took me into his clique in high school which with his brother was like the coolest badboys of that whole area. Now I’m saying it like this because in high school you view people as the cool kids and the not cool kids. It was a shock to see how I’m actually more extroverted than him now. He even said he would never dare to meet random strangers like I do on the daily almost. He’s more of a social circle kind of guy. Shows far I’ve come.
Met a cool lady who used to work for MS but have chosen to engage in more charitable work of teaching kids and especially people in tough neighbourhoods programming. We Linked (in) up and we might do some projects in that area together. Golden networking opportunity. She was also attractive and I was talking to her like a casual buddy.
I can literally talk with anyone about anything. I have to always slow down to not make people uncomfortable. Remind myself to take it slow because in Scandinavia only drunks and crazy people can talk to strangers in broad daylight. I literally have to limit myself, consciously.
I say hi and greet and smile at random people while on walks.
Met a guy who wanted me to develop a script that automated signing up for certain activities that have alot of demand but little spots open. Think a site where you sign up ur kid to a kid activity and they only take 25 kids and the registrations open the same day and get filled within minutes. Very easy thing to automate. Only problem is that it’s a church website and something tells me I might get banned by Jesus. Because I’m also entertaining the thought to sell this solution to parents. Very unethical.
Smiles and prolonged eye contact from females on walks.
I’m much more assertive with my opinions. Although I’m very respectful and diplomatic.
I feel that people are much more friendly and helpful in general. It’s gotta be a mix of status (Khan) and love/positivity (LBfH).
Was at a party and I felt like the centre of attention even though it wasn’t my birthday. People from work were there and they kept asking me when I’m back. That they were counting the days and asking about it everywhere and no one knew. This is most likely from my past history with Stark and also from WB recently. It’s a weird feeling I’m not used to and I always write in my journals on here that this new reality is kinda surreal, I don’t believe it. Like I feel like an imposter.
Heading to another xmas party next week. Was also invited to a tech party the week after that one. My goal is to have fun and socialise/network.
I’ve realised I would love to grow in my tech career, but money and career is not the most important thing in my life. I still have a dream of becoming a streamer. But there is nothing that says I can’t do both.
Acknowledging the dual energies within me, one being the positive, joyful “me,” and the other, referred to as the gremlin, associated with negativity and self-criticism.
While I find fulfillment in streaming and gaming without the need for excessive growth, the gremlin tends to intensify its focus on perfectionism and obsessive growth, leading to a cycle of negativity.
Recognizing this duality allows me to navigate these energies consciously, as seen in my recent awareness of the gremlin’s influence.
Unsure of the implications for streaming, I contemplate whether it feeds the gremlin. It’s an esoteric perspective, but it serves as a model to understand the internal dichotomy.
Another perspective is the balance between intent and freedom from outcome.
Listened to:
Glad they updated the LBfH to the latest and added NewLoveExperience 
The phrases “smell the roses” and “enjoy the journey” are popping up today.
“All work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy.”
I say “all do and no be makes Johnny a shallow boy.”
Noticing moments of love for the people around me and increased patience and compassion.
Noticing more often how I’m looking at the winter nature and smile in awe.
I’ve noticed I’ma much better listener and active listener. Being naturally curious and enjoying getting to know others. It’s not just a me-show anymore, at least not as much 
. Something I feel I’ve been bad at.
A bit more compassionate towards myself and my shortcomings or unrealistic standards.
Laughing more deeply (the LBfH copy does not lie)
Super horny dawg. Find myself enjoying looking at attractive woman. It’s not just sexual, just acknowledging beauty. Something I always feel a bit embarrassment around and never been the kind of guy that did that, but started to do that a little more. Perhaps I do have some issues to dissolve around my sexuality. Never understood how friends can stare at a woman, but now I get it. Don’t know how I feel about this.
Both my brother @Invictus and support have recommended True Sell for streaming. So I’m planning to fit that in someday.
I feel attached to Khan and especially after reaching stage 4, I don’t want to switch it out so fast. So I’ll most likely run Khan, Stark and then rotate True Sell, GMX and perhaps True Social. In the future if and when the new GMX module has been added to Q, make a custom.
@SaintSovereign mind be asking if GMX3 will be added to Q?
For now I’m squeezing another cycle of LBfH and GMX3: A. Of course competing Khan ST3 as well.
Very sexual and horny, all day. I need to use this energy!
Been grinding aim maps, methods to hone in on my perfect sensitivity and playing FPS games. Been kicking bum in some games and playing worse on others, but my aim is getting really crisp again, where I am shocked at some instinct headshots where I’m like “woah, that’ll get me reported!”
Been more compassionate today, reaching out to a friend who just broke up with his BPD girlfriend. I usually am too uncomfortable with these things but I feel natural to send a “How are you? What are you doing?” daily. It’s a check-in, to make them know I’m here, you’re not alone.,
Healing titles are tough man. Been having a tough time getting up in the morning. It’s like I’m constantly under slept. Which is not a good thing for a guy on parental leave that wants and needs to be there for a young padawan.
We’ll get through this cycle, then we have to let LBfH go.
I see why Saint doesn’t want to create during recon. It feels like one bad sides can come out. Now this is my esoteric opinion, it’s like you open the gate for potential trauma / LVE to come out. You don’t want to do decisions in this state and me who is uncomfortable with negative emotions, I try to definitely make decisions to run away.
Stay strong 
Also, this must be a kink of mine. A kink for recon. 