Started with Khan, introduced to subs by peers

Did my first two hour loop in the afternoon yesterday while chatting and catching up with a close friend who introduced me to this website. Within hours after listening I went for a walk around my neighborhood right before sunset and I couldn’t help but feel calm. Almost immediately after getting home I felt really tired and decided to sleep early (something I seldom do, being around 9pm). I woke up right as the sun was rising and completely forgot where I was for a second. The dream I had was so distinct and immersive it felt like a lifetime of friends and partners that I have never met were all in it and important to me, so much so that when woke up, I found myself asking where they had gone. It took me a moment to reorient myself to this reality, to what felt like a different place and bedroom, one which for that second, felt foreign to me.

Today went on as usual, with my regular routine and nothing out of the ordinary. Did notice I was receiving unsolicited text messages from friends I haven’t spoken to in years, most with good news which gave me a positive disposition for the rest of the day. Maybe I’m subconsciously fighting against it, but this all still seems insignificant to me as if it were pure coincidence and maintained no correlation with the program. As I’m pulling into my parking spot, I see a fairly attractive looking girl walking her dog, I notice the dog is pulling his leash excited to see me. I know that normally I would’ve said something like “cute dog” and kept going about my day. Instead I felt like something came over me and immediately after stepping out of my car, went right towards the dog almost as if i knew him. She tried to pull him back and apologize but I explained to her that I love dogs and we instantly began a conversation. I got to know her and will definitely see her again.

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that’s a boss move man… just doing what you felt right! Awesome

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Been roughly 2 months on Khan. Will be updating more often.

As a part of stage 1’s total breakdown, I’ve had more introspective thoughts than I’ve ever had. Truly analyzing my impact on my friends and family, more so what aspects of myself I can improve in order to be what I’ve been striving for, not just for them but for my own satisfaction as well.

Since starting Khan, I’ve had close friends tell me how great of a person I am, how they value my time and advice. Some even go as far as saying that I’m “The best and/or most genuine person they know”.

I feel like I think too much about it when they tell me this and it puts me in a loop. I feel like when someone tells me something like that, then I can’t help but ask myself “what kind of people are you surrounded by for me to be such a ‘great’ person to you?”. Maybe they’re lying to me because I have something that they want. They compliment me and tell me all these nice things, yet sometimes their actions say otherwise.

A bigger part of me feels like I’m thinking way too hard about it and maybe I question it because I’m not used to it. I think they really mean it and maybe I am just as helpful and compassionate as they describe me to be. And that any doubt I have about the things they say isn’t on them, but whether or not I believe those things for myself. How I see myself is something I feel like I’ve been really working on since staring Khan.

That being said, the excited and bright eyed, almost naïve enthusiasm I used to have as a kid is slowly coming back to me. I am feeling more certain about things that I can do now and have formed a clearer image of where I want to be and what I can do now to get there.

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11 MONTHS ON KHAN.

I haven’t been journaling at all and kept forgetting to. Recently a colleague convinced me to write an entry and only now upon seeing what I mind set I was writing from only 9 months ago, I’m kind of proud of how things have shaped out for me.

I now have a sustained source of income that helps out for any leisure/activities allowing me to do more things I’ve been wanting to and saving more than ever.

Went from living in the aforementioned apartment complex that although was fine when I had first moved in, it became consecutively unclean and unsafe.
To a complex that I had first only picturing myself of living in when I first moved out here. Also a nice new car.

Looking forward to what’s next.

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Women? That’s the main goal of a khan