@pacman idk how you did this for 3 months man but kudos to you haha. This deep unearthing of who I am and stripping of my identity is taking me for a ride right now. I’m staying strong and consistent knowing that it’ll all pay off big time in the end but could definitely use some words of encouragement right now.
I’m on the end of week 6 and planning to stick with it for 2 more weeks, if not longer.
If you’re feeling discouraged or like your sense of reality or self is being dissolved, I understand.
Rest days. Fewer loops. Water.
I can tell you after 2 months of feeling 
and 
on the inside, there was relief on the other side. Going through it felt like hell. Coming out on the other side is beginning to feel a bit heavenly.
Thanks RV! Yup rest days are what I’m looking forward to. Got them coming up this weekend might only do one loop of TB today before the weekend to let things process.
Sleep quality has been less this week due to all the processing which I’m sure is having an effect as well. All good I do actually feel slightly better today.
I’m using a cycle of:
Listening: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday
Rest days: Saturday, Sunday, Thursday
How has that been working compared to the standard 5 days on 2 days off?
TBH I don’t know at this point. My reasoning is that I figure it will give my brain more time to process and integrate the script.
It’s funny you mention that cause I’ve been considering a midweek break. Like Wednesday off to split it up. Definitely couldn’t hurt experimenting. Let me know if you find there to be any significant differences!
Today is such a better day, the fog and recon seems to have quickly cleared. Hit my sales quota for the quarter!! So pumped about that and definitely something to celebrate.
Really excited to see how effective KhanQv2 is as I pair it with the custom I ordered (can’t wait to reveal this to you guys once I get it 
)
Running True Social (v2) for the first time ever, since it’s the weekend and I want to go out socialize and celebrate. Excited to see how this bad boy works
cant wait to hear your results.
I’m planning to combine TS and Libertine in one custom to stack with Khan st. 4 when I get there.
So far been texting a lot more than usual. Hitting up a lot of friends texting random stuff just free flowing. And it’s only been an hour since the loop finished
How did the evening go after TS?
I’ll have to try it again. Ended up experiencing severe recon which has since subsided. 100% due to KhanTB, not TS. Friday was the last day of my loops before rest days and I was feeling great throughout the day, but as the evening got closer I felt extreme fatigue kick in and a deep resistance to socializing.
Almost like a preference to staying in and the opposite effect of what I was expecting- again there’s no question this was recon.
Ended up watching a movie with my roommate. I noticed some effects from TS slipping through, as I was lightheartedly cracking some jokes and we were both laughing. But then late in the movie I got a strong sense of feeling unwell. Fear and almost panic set in for no apparent reason. My mind was filled with a crippling level of anxiety that made no sense. This was almost certainly KhanTB going deep again, and I feel much better now.
I’m planning on giving it another shot this week as I go to my sales appointments, and see how it helps me interact with clients.
Also may change my listening pattern this week, to incorporate a mid-week rest day as @RVconsultant has mentioned. Pacing it out feels like it might be the move.
Again thinking of these subs like I do a gym workout (I typically hit the gym 5 days a week). Usually I don’t take 2 consecutive days rest it’s more like my rest days get sprinkled in throughout the week. Some days my workouts are more aggressive (I.e. more loops) some days they’re lighter “recovery” type workouts (I.e. less loops). May try to mix it up and I’ll let you guys know.
Excited for Qv2 to release and definitely going to start slow with that.
Intense recon continued through the weekend. Feeling useless and depressed, and wanting to feel empowered again. Going to go for another rest day tomorrow probably since this has been brutal.
Eager for this to be over, even though I know you can’t rush the healing process.
I’ve noticed myself acting out old behavioral patterns (hopefully for the last time). Like tonight there were some guys and girls that I’m friends with hanging out in our living room watching the games. I felt totally antisocial and stayed hidden in my room not talking to anyone. Got invited to go to a bar and grab food earlier too, but feeling super antisocial and just wanted to stay home and be by myself.
I used to do this kind of thing years ago when I was at a low point in my life, so I presume this is some kind of healing taking place to break any remnants of this type of behavior once and for all.
wow looking forward to knowing how you’re gonna get out of this state of mind, in thought and action.
TB really is brutal cant imagine whats it doing to you.
Yesterday I played TB for 20 mins by mistake then spent almost 14 hours in bed.
when I woke up I had severe fatigue. felt like death was coming any minute now.
Dark night of the soul for sure. Feeling awful just resting from subs trying to ride this out. Went to the gym this morning which helped slightly but it seems time and rest is the only solution at this point
You could try more sleep. Sleep does wonders for me.
I got this way sometimes when listening to DR. I considered it a form of reconciliation, and protecting others from my bad mood.
That’s exactly how I’ve feel about it! Summarizes my experience perfectly.
I pride myself on being the guy who brings the positivity and uplifting vibes to interactions so when I’m not feeling that way I seem to prefer to let whatever I’m dealing with process on its own rather than subjecting others to the negativity I’m feeling.
Being empathic and knowing how transferable moods and energy is makes me particularly sensitive to this.