STARKhan Journal

Journals - Major Programs
#142

Results from last week:

  • Was in the middle of a boxing workout hitting the heavy bag at my gym and some kid started hitting the bag next to me. There’s not too much space between them, and I felt myself get kind of pissed off since I wasn’t able to move around and really focus on the workout. I stood my ground however, and after a couple minutes this dude just walked away completely and gave me the space I desired. It’s like he could sense the Khan and wanted nothing to do with challenging.
  • Had a sales lunch at one of our client’s offices, and ended up talking with one of the ladies that worked there for a while. She was middle age but definitely attractive for her age. We ended up chatting for a while and everything just flowed real smoothly - it was playful and slightly flirty, even though we were in a professional setting.
  • Later that day I made a sales call at a different office, and the receptionist who was VERY cute and more my type gave me those super flirty eyes. I don’t shit where I eat and always maintain a professional mode while working, but could absolutely tell she was digging me.
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#143

Results from this past weekend:

Went to the bachelor party for one of my high school friends. Took the weekend off from subs but definitely noticed some interesting manifestations.

  • There was a noticeable dissonance when hanging with my old high school friends. It’s like I had progressed to such a place where I knew these were not the types of people I want in my life. I still had fun, but pretty quickly was ready to get back home and out of that environment. I always logically knew it was normal for people to grow apart, but this was on a visceral level that I knew that these are not the types of people I want to surround myself with. Not a knock on them personally, just more obvious realization thanks to Inner Circle and likely Khan TB.
  • There was a time where, likely from breakdown, I just stepped outside and hung out by myself for a while, just thinking like “what am I doing here” LOL I just felt a bit out of place and like I wished I was somewhere else, even though again these are friends I’ve had for years.
  • We ended up at a strip club one of the nights, and I was just chilling knowing better than to waste a lot of money on strippers. Most of the strippers were meh in my eyes, but then I saw one that was stunningly attractive, just my type. She was just standing there talking to another stripper and yet I had such approach anxiety…with a stripper LOL. Even though I logically knew they’re paid to be nice to you and that it would’ve been a pleasant interaction, I couldn’t bring myself to go up and talk to her. I pussied out completely and didn’t even try. This is for sure a Khan TB healing as there’s been plenty of times in my life with “regular” women who I’ve avoided starting a conversation just cause of irrational fear that I’ll be humiliated or rejected or whatever. I think this needed to happen with a stripper to show me how insanely ridiculous this mindset is. It’s also convinced me to run KhanTB for a full 2 months to really get some deep seated healing first before moving onto the future stages.
  • I basically didn’t pay for anything at the bachelor party (alcohol, food, etc.) despite offering. This was interesting and possibly a RICH manifestation.
  • One of my friends brought a girl he knew over to the place we were staying. She was kind of cute, not really my type and I’m never one to cock block. But one time as she was walking by me I looked at her and she immediately waved at me and ducked/bowed her head down and couldn’t even maintain eye KHANtact lol
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#144

I think I basically got my Stark/RM custom figured out and am SO excited to share it with y’all

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#145

I understand what you are saying. I still get that approach anxiety about 50% of the time when I’m out shopping. However I’ve known people who have dated women who strip. Many of these women tend to have problems with impulse control. Lots of drug use. Gambling. Inability to focus on long-term goals. Emotional problems.

So although it may have helped you recognize your mind set, your approach anxiety might have been protective. We may not know for sure, but I would wonder.

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#146

Look forward to hearing updates on how that custom blends together, we haven’t hear much about Stark+RM so far.

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#147

That’s a great point and at the same time it certainly protected my wallet :joy:

#148

I’m going to create it later when I’m home by my computer I’ll let you all know once it’s ordered and will probably start using next week

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#149

Very cool…I may have missed it, have you have stacked RM and Stark store programs yet as a test?

#150

Not yet but I’ve been on Stark for almost 5 months so I should be able to tell the difference

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#151

Been having more recon the last 24 hours or so. Just like ST1 is digging something DEEP. Feeling in a fog and conversations have not flowed like they usually do. A lot of doubt, uncertainty, and just not really knowing who I am at the moment. I’m excited for this process though, I want this crap all gone and stripped away to make room for a much better me.

Going to run Khan ST1 for a full 2 months and maybe longer depending how I feel.

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#152

Also ordered my custom last night. I’m going to drop Stark and IC to focus on Khan TB until my custom arrives (which has Stark and IC cores)

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#153

Oh man…just received notice of a potentially fantastic opportunity for a promotion at work. It would require a lot more responsibility and pressure, and would likely require me to move to a different location.

I’ll have to give this some serious consideration. I love my current role and I love where I live, but the earning potential for this new position would be miles away from my current role. Really going to have to give this some thought cause a lot would change in my life if I got this promotion, but also could be a great opportunity to really step into my power and more of a position of leadership.

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Best Subs for Interview Skills?
#154

What is the cost of living there? In other words, although you are being offered more money, if the cost of living is very high, you might actually be worse off. Does the way I’m presenting this make sense?

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#155

No it definitely makes sense and a great thing to consider. It would be the same cost of living as I have right now. In fact it wouldn’t be too crazy of a move. An hour or less away in the same state.

My concern is I love the house I’m living at and get along great with my roommate. I suppose I could stay where I’m at but it would add to my commute.

Just some things to consider. There’s some time before the position is officially posted. So I have some time to think

#156

Wow! I understand why you feel tempted.

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#157

Going through an amazing healing right now. Some real deep seated stuff and irrational fears coming up to the surface. It’s been a bit of a rough ride the last day or two but I’ve been through these types of experiences before and what always comes out the other side is something completely beautiful and better than I could have ever expected

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#158

Been going through some traumas from high school and even middle school so I know I’m digging back far. I’m sure it’ll go even further and further back as I proceed through TB. Motivated to keep this up and wipe the slate clean to allow for the most effective Total Reprogramming to take place.

This is awesome - fear inducing at times yet awesome!

#159

That happened to me on DR.

And that’s basically why I kept going even thought I felt like my ass was getting handed to me on a semi-daily basis for 2 months.

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#160

Can you elaborate on this please…
You can doit in my journal.

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#161

Would love to hear an elaboration on long term results of this as well…feel free to do it here or @pacman journal

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