[STACKED] EmperorQa + Khan ST1

I tried EmperorQ alone in my other journal!

Pro’s (compared to emperor V4) :

  • Being truthful with myself, seeing how I acted and realising my flaws.
  • Listening to myself more and valuing what I want.
  • Improved my diet.
  • Being more in touch with my emotions and appreciating them.

Con’s :

  • Not much, but in my line of work, emperor doesn’t really makes me good at selling…

NOW! With the quarentine, I am facing a new situation, took 5 days off subs, starting FRESH, I’ll use this time to really take the benefits of EmperorQ, while adding Khan St1 to work on the issues I have socially and be ready for the summer.

I already ran Khan St1, but I know deeply inside of me that only the tip of the iceberd was worked on, I didn’t ran it long enough. I hope that the positive attitude of EmperorQ will help the breakdown of Khan St1 and work together to face these though emotions which I haven’t been able to face in the past.

First day, I felt lonelyness, especially seeing my roomate being with his girlfriend while not being able to go and see some friends, I started piano last week, learned the song Blue by Eiffel65 which is beautiful (I still need more practice to play it without mistakes).

Will see how it goes, as soon as Q is LIVE, I’ll jump on Q, try a modified version of Khan St4, which was really good for me.

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First DAY,

Feeling a bit sad, but still managable, I would say for now it is a mix between EmperorQ and KhanSt1, I have the sadness of Khan St1 and I observe it, I am calmly facing the emotion!

Nothing big to report, I am still working since the bank are considered essential, but the day are rough since we are half staff! I’ll report back tomorrow if anything new happens.

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Today I remembered my pride, stuff I did in the past that made me proud. Socially and in terms of skills, engineering programming… Stuff was hard, but I pushed through and found solutions for the problems we were trying to solve!

Socially, I remember a summer when I was going to a party and spot a couple of cute girls, BOOM went straigth to approach girls… 6 different numbers, all cute, I approached them because of that. Why wasn’t I able to do that after that summer? No freaking idea, might be because one approach I did a girl went batshit crazy and started yelling at me because I spoke to her friend… wasn’t ready, and it traumatized me. BUT, it was still pretty cool, I’d like to be able to do this this summer.

I feel… even tho I don’t feel awsome right now, I know I have the potential, I did some super ballzy stuff like we can see in youtube prank video (not the super crazy ones tho), but I remember going to strangers hot girls and going straigth “hey, you and your friend, we should go back to my place I have a super large bed, would be fun” as an opener, I had so much fun, the girls went with it, unfortunatly I don’t think they were down with it, but they definitly laughed and we spoke for 2-3 minutes before they had to take their bus and my friends were waiting after me just listening to the shit I was speaking about, not beliving how forward I was.

SO! I am not a lost cause, but I need to reconnect to that part of myself.

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Seems like I ran this stack a couples of says… Seeing StarkQ coming out haha, if StarkQ gets some sort of healing, i’ll replace EmperorQ by StarkQ!

Today I went to the grocery and talked to the staff, seems I’ve been getting antisocial, but the social reflexes are still there. I was smiling and engaging people! I must say that I am full of mixed signals… One side I want to avoid social contact, on the other side I am talking to people when someone speak to me.

On Khan, I was purposly creating social situation because I enjoy it so much. On emperor I don’t tend to create social interaction, but emperorQ makes me engage people much more that the other versions of emperors. Maybe also the main Khan script is working on me :wink:

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