Day 1 - I was going to run Total Breakdown with Sanguine but I got the approval to run EmperorQ 1.5 so here I am. Just started so I will update later today or tomorrow
Day 1 - Ran EmperorQ for the last few hours. I feel as though EmperorQ is amplifying what I’ve been feeling and experiencing running Total Breakdown. Focused on getting stuff done and not worried or concerned with what other people are up to. Only into doing my own thing. Actually getting a bit irritated and annoyed when people try to impose what they want on me. Only have a couple of things I have to get done before I can relax the rest of the day before I go to bed tonight. In a good mood. I will see how I feel when I wake up. For a while now even before I started running Total Breakdown I would go to bed feeling good and wake up with the worst anxiety and I have no idea why.
Day 2 - Ran EmperorQ most of the day yesterday. Felt good . I did not wake up today with the anxiety I usually do which is great. Even though I got most of what I wanted to done yesterday it did feel like I was floating between boredom and procrastination. I was thinking this morning how some of the anxiety I have is from that feeling of thinking I have to do something I really have zero desire to do. That feeling of obligation and not wanting to say no or " fuck that". It may also be that my subconscious is being scraped clean of all the toxic , unwanted, and unhealthy emotions and beliefs running both EmperorQ and Total Breakdown. Instead of getting anxious today I asked myself " what’s the worst that can happen? ". At that point I felt an almost instant calm.
Day 2 Continued - I took the day off work to get some errands and chores done with my wife and I ran EmperorQ for an hour this morning and for probably the last four hours now and I am definitely feeling a shift. Once again because I have been listening to Totally Breakdown while I sleep I can’t say it’s one or the other causing this but it is happening. By shift I mean I feel an almost thrust in mental and emotional growth but I also want things to be better for myself, my wife , and by extension those close to us. How I am going to make that happen I have no idea at this point. I feel on almost an organic or pragmatic level its happening by itself because I’m obviously growing as a person.I don’t want to settle or become complacent anymore. Paradoxically I don’t think I have ever been happier with certain aspects of my life as I am right now. Especially my marriage. It will be fifteen years this December although we have known each other for closer to seventeen
Day 3 - Having a tough time today .I partially blame the audio because I think it’s helped me realize how I need to get more done towards getting a better paying job with benefits way closer to where I live so I’m not spending three to four hours a day on public transportation. So I updated my resume since I am home sick and applied for two full time jobs and one part time job. I’m tired of being so far from my family and the people I care about all the time
Day 7 - The last couple of days I have only gotten a couple of hours of listening time in but now that the weekend is here I will get quite a bit more exposure. The biggest take away so far is the drastic drop in my anxiety level , smiling a lot more and feeling happy just because , and almost zero concern over what other people think of me or what they’re doing. Being someone who has could almost be tagged as a " worry wart " or a pessimist this is huge. The other major thing I noticed is my mental response when trying to think of something is infinitely faster. I mentioned in a previous post how almost every day during the work week I wake up with a huge feeling of anxiety. Doesn’t matter how good I felt before going to bed. That is almost completely eliminated now.
Day 8 - Feeling really good and happy outside of dealing with a minor stomach issue. I was telling my wife that I can’t recall the last time I felt this relaxed or happy. I love feeling like this and I don’t want to go back to being anxious or pessimistic all the time. I was thinking how instead of seeing obstacles as challenges I am now looking at those things as an adventure.
Hmm, your results are very encouraging, especially on the anxiety issues.