Spectre - a journal

Journals - Major Programs
#1

The journal is named after my favourite movie right now, Spectre. I don’t actually care about the organisation or bad guys Spectre. I’m more fascinated by bond portrayed by Daniel Craig in that movie.

I’m starting this journey with Wanted (the new Wanted) and my current focus is:

  • nonchalance
  • sexiness
  • physically shifting (attractive)
  • fun
  • authenticity

I’ve run the subs with foundations in mind but now I just want to do what I want to do.

Seduce yourself, seduce reality. I don’t know what it means but I want it lol

Other things:

  • aligned
  • inspired
  • authentic

The plan is just to run Wanted for now.

I played a 15s loop on Monday. Next loop is tomorrow and I plan to run a M/W/F schedule with the weekends off for 7 weeks. Shout out to @MAkh @heartmadeiron

Heavily inspired by Daniel Craigs bond.

Been down with the cold last few days, but my goal is to hit the gym more regularly and just get more active in my day to day, so I just start moving. Also taking care of the basics, showering, skin care, brushing, flossing etc. Being adventurous and social.

For her majesty ~

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#2

New Wanted’s perfect for your goals and you got a good head on your shoulders. Those 7 weeks are gonna go by in a flash.

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#3

Thanks buddy :ok_hand:

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#4

Love it!

Really enjoyed your last journal :ok_hand:

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#5

This past weekend I had a nice work party. I think I was down with the cold already but I felt really sexy and social.

  • Mingled with many female colleagues, it’s a big company so I haven’t talked to many of them face to face. My boss, another section boss and they really wanted me to continue with recruiting.

  • I danced on the floor then a female colleague came and started to dance with me.

  • Another female colleague who I rarely talk to approached me on the floor told me ” I’m proud”. Backstory is in my first work party I was just standing in the dance floor and stiff af. She grabbed my hand back and then taught me to dance and just let loose and don’t give a f. So when she saw me dancing all by myself, she was proud.

  • I realized a few hours later this unc need to hit the sack. I went up to my room. Chilled there then felt better. Decided to go down again and just chill and see what happens. I chilled on a sofa in the hotel lobby and the dance girl saw, ditched her group she sat next to me talking about all kinds of stuff. I was just chilling. She started showing me she is very ghetto. I said I bet. (I used to live in a ”ghetto”). Then she started rapping. She started telling me how I should talk to her more at work, that I ignore her and am shy and need to stop being a wuss. I was just listening. In my head I was thinking this is all uncalled for, she is drunk and probably into me. I think she also has a thing for guys like me. I’ve heard I’m a type for both genders before lol. I also thought you don’t know I’ve ran emperor for a year and full khan do you?. Yes, I might avoid you but I’m not shy lol. Well I can be in my head alot and sometime anxious. But it’s more anxious over how crazy I can talk sometimes and afraid it might get me into trouble with HR. It’s like someone mistaking a wolf for a small dog. Anyway, I am just being cocky.

Anyways then a buddy of mine who I think drank too much or even took some other substances came unto us really intense and uncalibrated saying ”look at you risky, sitting here with this beautiful lady all secluded”. You know like a curv cringe drunk uncle during a xmas party. And then he was a bit demeaning to her. Anyway after he left I said don’t worry about him, he’s just drunk. She said ”dont worry about me, I can handle drunk guys”. I said ”My bad, I forgot you were a ghetto rapper.” She is a white blonde girl.

I see they started serving food so I left and went over there to grab some sausage. Before leaving I told her I would literally stop her whenever I see her at work and just say ”Hi <her_name>”. So she doesn’t feel ignored.

Was invited to an after party in someone’s hotel room. I had to dip after the tequila shot lol and the hotel room was packed and warm. But it was packed and I felt ”chosen”. Because there were only cool people in that room. I guess I’m cool.

Next morning at breakfast I see her and overtly wave and smile like a special kid. She starts smiling big and waves back and I also noticed some blushing. I think she is a bit embarrassed for how she literally complained that I ignore her in a drunken dump. And called me a wussy and shy. And tried to out-ghetto me. And I was unreactive.

Anyway, this party I was surrounded by beautiful colleagues and even had girls come up to me and telling me I should stop hanging with so and so because they are creepy.

I’m not down for sexy business as I’m in a LTR. But I love the idea of being comfortable with ladies and knowing abundance and knowing I’m that guy if shit hits the fan.

Anyway, I will try to note down things like this and actions and insights I get for science.

My goal is to write down results no matterwhat it is. I need to be better and noticing wins. Not just for subs and journaling but also to affirm the good in life.

Opportunities for career that came up:

  • Big boss telling me to go ahead with AI and ask for forgiveness later. Lol perfect as I’m working on being an AI lead.
  • Recruiting (technical interviews)
  • Networking with people who I will create workshops with internally.

I didn’t just feel sexy and cool but also well connected.

8 Likes
#6

Thanks homie. Big fan!

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#7

00:15 - Wanted

Run it and live your life.

Engage with life, let go, note what happens then later reflect on it.

Recon. I’ve come to realise my habitual phone use is probably one of the factors that mess up my elbow. I need to stop using it. Also I’m in recon. Lol cheers.

Anyway, gotta deal with this elbow thing to go all out in the gym. But I’m also not going to let it stop me and just exercises that don’t affect it.

My gf, wild!

My girlfriend have been acting kinda extra sexy lately. Walking around in new underwear and I caught her checking if I was looking in the mirror. We’ll see how this develops. We have gotten less wild with the years and I hope to increase the heat again for both of us. I’ve been a dull boy myself, you know falling into routine.

Hooked her up with a job interview, we’ll see how it goes.

I’m tired today and sick. I called in sick but started reading the WB thread and started to write down some pretty things I would like to happen in my life, in my book of life. One is getting sent a nude. Why not? Never had that and it’s fun. lol call it the wanted bucket list. Why not? We’ll all die soon, it’s nothing big, just some spice in life.

I’ve always been the dude who ordered something new at each restaurant because life is short. What? You going to eat Caesar salad or bolognese everywhere you go? (I know people like this!) of course sometimes you really get something funky, but hey at least I tried something new. I want to rekindle this behavior.

Listen. Live life. Note. Reflect. Where live is ideally 90% of my life.

The bucket list thing is just to help me note down crazy things. I’m going to write down things I’ve never done or experienced and see how many of them happen. Lol

6 Likes
#8

It’s integration day 🫡

Listening to old Italian film scores lately. New phase, new genre. Life’s like a movie I guess.

Jesus I’ve started to get really good at seeing results, especially internal and understanding myself better. Today was about fun and been reflecting on it today and I know Wanted has that in the copy. So it’s definitely working.

It started with this thought:

Sometimes I wonder if I’ve forgotten what fun is or how to have fun. Sometimes I also wonder what that thought is because of other people’s expectation of how i should be or their definition of what fun is that i don’t subscribe to, past or present

It hits on a really subtle and frustrating form of thing: the pressure to perform enjoyment.

Social media and culture focuses heavily on a very specific, high-energy version of fun. You know partying, travel, constant social gathering, novel experiences, photo-worthy activities, always laughing and smiling.

A new sentence emerges: fun is perhaps ”frictionless absorption”?

You lose track of time, stop judging yourself, and aren’t trying to achieve anything productive

Anyway I’m going to reflect on this heavily in my offline journal.

Another thing that has been keeping me reconning is: being wanted is not mutually exclusive. It’s basically like this with any goal. You think you want truly everyone to want you. Then you get attention and ”self-sabotage”. Ask yourself what the fear or payoff is if you’re stuck. You’re probably having a foot on the break somewhere.

Like, I want money so bad. But you have a subconscious block based on ”rich people are cheap and boring” or ”my poor friends will depend on me and I just don’t want to take that conflict and set that boundary”.

In my case it’s ”being wanted means I won’t fit corporate life or be a bad parent and father”.

Funny thing is, the perfect documentary manifested showing me a person that is cool, wanted, a sex symbol yet also a super good partner and dad. Boom! NSE, yet again!

Anyway, it’s a bs limiting belief because being wanted is not mutually exclusive like that.

How do we integrate these two points with regards to fun and wanted yet a great father and partner? Or is the chain already breaking and we just have to keep our eye on it coming back in a more subtle form?

Anyway, I’m super excited.

Today I had my skin care routine done and did some dynamic exercises on my pomodoro breaks. Starting small until I’m fully recovered and can hit the gym.

4 Likes
#9

External things I noticed today:

  • Got boss to take action on getting our customer on board with AI assisted product engineering.

  • A person refused to do what we agreed on for sending them to a IT conference. I wrote a balanced message we could send them and list of things we learned from this experience for next time without causing any drama. My colleagues agreed and sent him the exact message CTRL+C and CTRL+V. The communication skills in Wanted blooming.

  • Very confident writing and communicating with customers. Usually I always have to double check with colleagues because of imposter syndrome. But fuck it. We’re gonna learn for ourselves so other people will depend on us in the future.

  • Ate bolognese but skipped the pasta. Lol Feels like a lesser evil perhaps. But really want to make small better choices that compound over time instead of turning my life around 360 in a day. Inspired, aligned action.

2 Likes
#10

Stuff for my yesterday:

  • Worked from home after a morning walk in the sun.
  • More reflection around fun and authenticity.
  • So I have a new hypothesis. People who start with one sub in their journey and stay with it for a while end up growing faster overall. This is the first time I’m only running one sub and the insights are great and it’s easier to tell what it’s doing what. I can clearly see the connection to the sub goals and results. Lol I’m only running one sub. Anyway, we’ll see. I am feeling confident and excited for this journey so far.
  • Back below 80kg. The physical shifting is no joke. But I really need to build muscles dude. Also bought some nice supplements.
  • My gf had a great interview and they calling in her to the office to join for a breakfast meeting and a even a meeting with a customer to them.
  • I so clearly set a boundary today. Like all the way from reflecting on what is troublesome, then to formulate that clearly without drama to a friend group and boom. I thought hell would break loose, but nope not a word, just ”deal”.
  • Made plans with a female friend to run a half marathon in a years time. This a perfect opportunity to connect with a female friend I rarely hang out with and also connected to being fit and the physical shifting. Balanced health with both cardio and most importantly lifting weights.
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#11

interesting hypothesis. I think there was like one month in my journey in which I run solo Emperor for about a month. It was extremely productive compared to 2 or 3 subs

the desire to run more is just too strong :cry:

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#12

Nice, something further exploring then. A interesting hypothesis.

Yes, it’s hard I agree. One because why not run 3 if you are allowed according to the recommendations?

But it’s interesting if there’s a correlation between long term success with subs or not.

This point in the guide clicks with my current experience

Three titles is advanced territory and should only be attempted once you understand how your mind responds to Zero Point.

Like you understand the interaction between you and the subs. I don’t know, it’s just a hypothesis in exploring.

Things are just clearer. And it’s pretty easier to connect the recon to one title. Like I imagine you reconcile one sub and your reality or beliefs. But imagine with two subs you might also need to reconcile the difference between the two subs. Then it’s just a jungle of reconciliation and it makes it harder to see clearly what the two is going on.

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#13

check this post out Business and finances on Khan - #27 by Simon

I think it’s true

but then again, what if the subs you choose are synergistic and both focused on one goal? Like my Mogul + RICH stack.

shouldn’t a stack like that provide deeper integration and more rapid and consistent results?

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#14

Will check it out.

Sure, but generally when Saint comments on running similar modules or cores and the common question of redundancy, (imo) we learn that titles drive at the same thing sometimes from different perspectives. Those perspectives might need be to be reconciled and merged with your goals and current circumstance. I view it like it perhaps it surely increase the complexity to integrate. But surely it’s easier than integrating say those two subs and wanted in the same stack. Theres plenty of success people doing that and the advice is usually make sure you know what you want out of the combo/fusion and use conscious guidance.

I’m just theorising it makes it harder and perhaps I should start with one sub for a while and then add another. Because since my journey started I’ve always had 3 subs. While reading people’s journeys I see a pattern of people that stand out usually start with one.

Part of the theory is that starting with one, you learn ”running subliminal”-skills that you then can use to further expand your self-mastery and running subs if you start with one, my hypothesis.

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#15

Great post, I’ve read it before I realized now. Makes total sense.

#16

Interesting take, can’t really comment much because I don’t have enough knowledge here but it does make sense

I’ll consider doing a solo run some time in the future

do you have any planned duration for solo-ing Wanted right now?

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#17

It’s just a hypothesis and we’re all different. A month from now I might read it and think ”wow, that’s stupid lol”. Thanks for the discussion though.

I’m thinking I will run it solo for as long as I can manage. We’ll see how that goes lol. I’ve learned I say I’m going to do something for x long but then I switch. I’m starting to believe skadoosh ideas around (paraphrasing) ” after 3 months you’re different from the guy that started, different perspective”, so I feel it was naive to think I’ll want the same after a cycle or more.

I’m thinking for now I minimise the factors and can learn about myself and how ONE sub affects me and take those lessons with me to future runs and might make running multiple subs a little bit easier and understanding the recon better.

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#18

literally me lmao

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#19

Wooooord!

Instead of faking it till you make it, align it till you don’t need to much effort to maintain it.

2 Likes
#20

Real spill playa

1 Like