So my ex wants to trade Spotify playlists and the like. Her angle is that she likes my taste in music. But there is always more, especially after so long. Sometimes better to let things stay as they are.
Next I am sure she will want to talk on the phone, and then meet.
I am not sure it is in me to say “no” to these things, but I also can see them leading down a negative path.
Well, Friday, everything is unsettled, I may have a friend from out of town stop in to talk to me at my office today. I guess there is something about face to face conversation, but at this time it seems like a luxury. He was adamant about stopping in and likely is not in situations that are high risk for contracting the virus.
I am not sure what effect Aegis has exactly, but I am happy to have it and it is in my stack both at home and in the office, likely getting seven hours or so of exposure a day.
I am trying to figure out a kind of idealized stack to let run at least semi-permanently.
At this point:
Stark - Will buy this after I exceed 1000 posts here.
Primal Seduction
Spartan
Ultimate Artist
I may come back to this to explain the whys and wherefores of this or I may not.
First I must exercise. Spartan has been benefiting me in this realm and I have it running in my workout area.
Sometimes things can not be as they seem. One thinks others are invested in the same way. If I am passionate then so must others be. But that may not be true. It may not be true.
Oh, fuck, sometimes it is difficult to read other people, especially when you are not interacting face to face.
I have been reading, listening and watching material about sexually and romantically related hypnosis, texting and talk.
I do not have a girlfriend in my physical life at the moment, but I have a woman on-line who is absolutely enamored of me.
It is amazing how much you can turn a woman on even by just having her read texts from you and her not even being able to see you. I have had her tell me that as I was texting her she would get an incredible need to get off and would just immediately start masturbating, and it wouldn’t necessarily be anything overtly sexual.
I think a big part of this is actually possessing great affection for the woman and wanting to figure out how you can give her incredible pleasure, and to be playful and curious about it. As I play around with women, and mind you, this is often online, I have had women tell me that they have had the strongest sexual experience they have ever had, and they say “you are different” and I think it is because I am clearly focused on them and their pleasure, rather than seeing them as simply an object for achieving my own pleasure.
I am not sure how Primal Seduction is affecting this, but I have been doing this sort of thing for quite a while. It is a lot of fun to bring women pleasure.
Enjoying reading through your journal this morning, your style is very engaging and informative, plus easy to read.
Thanks, HappyHero.
I was really wanting to talk to my online girlfriend tonight to distract me from my ex-girlfriend who has reconnected, but she is unavailable this evening.
A part of me wants to engage my ex in some text-based sexy talk, but I know that would br opening a powder keg, and it would be against my ethics, especially if she is married. If she isn’t married and is not in a committed relationship, well then it would be ok, but probably still a bad idea. The last time we reconnected it was because she was frustrated sexually.
I am a bit frustrated sexually. I can really have a good time turning women on and having them verbally express their lust for me, but that is not a replacement for physical intimacy. I should have shacked up with a woman right before this whole Covid mess. Life is only so long.
I just finished my workout and I am very consistent with that, at least partly due to Spartan, which is bubbling away on a speaker near my workout area.
I am really into music and I have been creating collaborative playlists with two friends. I am guessing my ex would love to do that, too, but I am wary of engaging and having it spiral out of control.
Tonight, for the first time in quite a while I am listening to Superchargers. Tonight it is The Commander, The Legacy and The Elixir on a loop through Tin T-2 in ear monitors.
I will say that Primal Seduction and Primal before it, turned on some kind of sexual switch. I have gotten even more focused on women in a romantic way then I was before, and also really fixated on the unique qualities women possess and how to please them.
This has made things a little difficult recently with Covid, as I live alone and really have access to women ronantically on-line.
I like hanging out by myself, and I am having a fair amount of interaction with people online, but I do not really have any context in my physical life for interacting with people except in a very limited manner. This can be a bit disconcerting.
I am also finding that most of the essential workers at my place of work seem to have no concept of using a facemask, which I am wearing any time I am around people, or social distancing.
It seems like Primal Seduction and possibly Spartan are having the effect on me of being willing to fairly bluntly call people out as dumbshits or fools, which many of these people seem to be.
I like being a High Alchemist, and even without any drugs!
Trying to finish an interminable project report. This is a form that was written by the clueless who are knowledgeless in all ways except in the use of pointless and arcane jargon. It is pissing me off.
Honestly, I know it is a pandemic, but this covid situation and having to self isolate has been one of the best things to happen to me!
Something got cut off there, On the other hand I’m noticing a big urge for dating since starting Stark, and I have been on some online apps but without being able to meet up a lot of the conversations just fizzle and it is frustrating.
In person connection is very important, I hope this covid crisis ends soon.
Yes. It hasn’t been tough on me either. I live by myself and like limited interaction with people.
I have been having a lot of fun playing with language patterns with women online. Women love being sensual, they love to get turned on. I have had women tell me that they have never had the experience I’ve given them and this is most often just via texting.
I am adding Ascension to my home and work stacks and taking out Aegis at home and Regeneration at work.
I am wondering if I should just start a new thread.
I keep thinking that the combo of Ascension, Primal and Spartan would be the ultimate pure alpha stack. I am running Primal Seduction so a little less focused, but I am thinking probably close to as focused.