Soul Search - My first diary ever

Journals - Major Programs
#303

LB 6min
KB4 3min

I decided to go for KB4 instead of KB1, it’s been almost a week since my last loop of KB1 so for me it’s enough of a break to switch up.

It’s only the second time ever I try a short loop of KB4 so it’s very new to me.

I noticed it took a little longer to kick in than KB1 but after a short while I felt similar energy as KB1 but with extra perks, I don’t really have words for it except it felt more ‘complete’ with a wider impact overall.

I’m liking it a lot and looking forward to more runs.

I’ve had another super nice day at my best friend’s cabin in the forest, we’re spending the night here, the atmosphere is beyond peaceful, there’s no electricity in the cabin which makes a big difference in the depth of how grounded and still it feels.

Today I realised how much I’ve grown in the last 3 months since I’m on my own, it’s massive, and today it’s made clear again how close I am to reconnecting fully with my true self consciousness flow.

GLM is skyrocketing the cleansing of deep emotional blocks, false identities and attachements, as I mentioned in the other thread, it has a strong impact on the solar plexus area which is one of my main source of blocks, where lies the sense of personal power and identity, clearing that opens the pathway to the heart and soul which is finally allowing me to embody and hold more of my higher consciousness.

I’m on the edge of drowning my ego into the ocean of my true self consciousness flow, there’s a little more to go but it’s getting so close I’m now starting to see all my issues with an enjoyable nostalgia, all bad negative limiting stuff is becoming smaller and smaller and the flow of consciousness from top to bottom washes over all of it.

So much love is pouring out of me today!!

Nothing I wrote here really translates the extent of what I am rediscovering not only within myself but also in the unified field of consciousness where all things exist.

This whole thing is so much bigger than I could ever read about in books and think about, I am a little intimidated as I feel so many people are already very awake in that field, I’m looking forward to discover more of my bigger self and find my rightful place of service on this planet for this collective reality.

But for now I just keep chilling and healing.

2 Likes
#304

7.5min GLM
7min LB

Perfect listening times.

I’m going to use this new method of listening to subs instead of rigid micro loops.

I stop when I feel the energy triggered by the input of the sub starts to pile up in the head area instead of flowing throughout the body.

It means I have received what I could comfortably process for the time, filling up the cup without overflow, which makes integration very smooth throughout the day.

GLM definitely increases the smoothness of processing and integrating other subs and everything else in my life.

1 Like
#305

5min KB4
4min GLM

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#306

What GLM is helping me with, short excerpt from a book I’m reading.

"The answer to this problem is not in going back into your head; the answer is in your belly. You are ready for the next step in the incarnation process of the soul: the transition from heart to belly. The soul wants to flow even deeper into your body. In the middle of your belly is a space or point of silence. In that space, there is no language, no thinking, no concepts. You may hear the rustling of leaves in the wind or the sound of the beating of waves, and those sounds can help you become aware of the silence that is within this center.

At this level, your spiritual knowing and feeling become instinctual, or as it is sometimes called, your second nature. There is no need to think or even feel for it. A deep knowingness is present from which you act, and life pours through you easily. Your soul has then become your true nature, it has descended to the level of instinctual awareness. This gives you the balance you need. You can remain centered and calm amidst a demanding and turbulent environment. Your feeling center (your heart) wants to connect with your belly in order to be truly grounded and for you to feel safe and secure on Earth.

Your head can give you much pleasure, it can be useful and fun, it gives you the opportunity to communicate with others as it provides a common language. Your heart provides the possibility to experience joy and the whole range of emotions of which human life is comprised. Your belly gives you your foundation, your I-ness, it allows you to be really you, firm and rooted, drawing your own boundaries and using your discernment. From this foundation, the interaction with your heart and your head becomes a joyful play.

If these three layers of your being are aligned with each other, you feel whole. You can surrender yourself to what moves and inspires you, while at the same time not losing your foundation, your inner point of silence. You can remain close to yourself, yet at the same time freely give and receive what life offers."

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#307

9min GLM in the morning

8h rest

15min LB

Everything is going fantastic.

Between practicing TRE and a new exercise called pandiculation, I can easily push the sub exposure with no overwhelm whatsoever.

The place I wanted to rent for September is now only available in October, so I will go spend September with my new friend neighbor that I was staying with before, I will help her out with feeding the birds and doing some video editing she needs help with so I get free rent which is awesome financially now that I’m receiving money every month.

I ended up treating myself to a 360$ piece of amazing crystal alchemy technology that I had my eyes on for a while now, it’s coming from the US so it will cost a little more with import tax and delivery but I’m really excited!

It will help clear my space of any negative energies and keep a high vibration so I can feel really cozy wherever I live and assist me in my healing.

#308

KB4 is too strong for my current jobless lifestyle, 5min loop was too much, I need to keep it at 3min max.

Combo GLM and LB is awesome and will remain in my stack for a long time.

I need a few days washout at some point, it’s been a few months without a proper 5 days break.

I will keep going a little longer to anchor more of the results from GLM.

Maybe another 2 weeks.

1 Like
#309

LB 6min
GLM 15min

Deeper and deeper unification in my being.

I feel a lot of sympathy for those who are still dealing with gross layers of identities on their path, namely what I call the ‘seeker ego’, the one searching for enlightenment through intellectual concepts, strict focus on specific practices and traditions, the thinking spiritual ego that fails to see his own existence is an illusion.

Once that identity releases its grip, one can realise that yoga and practice exists in infinite forms and that all beings are spiritual and on the search for Truth in their own way.

It brings me so much joy to see how far I’ve come in my spiritual journey and the development of wider perspectives on everything, slowly starting to recognize myself in more and more layers of realities.

My being is like a rainbow expanding the range of its colors.

I was a seeker,
I am now a finder,
I will be a master,
Master of Self,
Lover of All.

#310

10min KB1

No rest day today, I switched back to KB1, KB4 is too dense, I would need to run it in a 2 stack or solo for a while to really integrate properly.

KB1 is so smooth and direct, immediate clearing of energy channels and increased mental clarity, it’s smoother than ever thanks to all the work I’ve been doing over time with clearing blockages.

180 shift in the weather after an incredible august, temperatures dropping to 17c and today is the second day of an upcoming 2 weeks without sun and rain everyday, I need to recalibrate and reset my routines so I don’t stagnate too much indoors.

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#311

3min LB
3min GLM

After skipping a rest day yesterday I’m doing shorter loops today.

It felt amazing and left me wanting more which is a very good sign that my exposure levels are balanced and overall integration is very positive.

I’m going to repeat myself which is a sign of how smooth my awakening process is now.

More unification taking place in my being, currently working on very deep layers of emotional blockages, which are lodged tightly in the body so my main ‘spiritual’ practices have become mostly physical release ones.

Progress is exponential as more consciousness flows through me.

Like rain pouring down a river increasing its intensity and washing away more and more debris, gaining momentum and strength to eventually flush out the oldest and biggest rocks blocking the way to the ocean.

I remain patient as I’ve been working on myself for over 17 years but a great liberation is around the corner and I am quietly bubbling with excitement.

#312

It looks like I’m gonna have to stop writing personal things on this journal because it’s affecting my YouTube algorithm a lot.

It’s trying to feed me what it thinks I want to see which is not true and it’s stupidly obvious how it’s trying to grab my attention by triggering instinctual brain areas based on what I just wrote an hour ago, what a pathetically manipulative technology.

I’ll stick to general sub use comments and listening times from now on.

#313

I’m taking an extra rest day to allow everything to sink in and bloom a little, I might make it a mini washout with another rest day tomorrow.

So much release is happening every single day, a massive breakthrough is around the corner and it might correlate with the blood moon in pisces coming up in a week, I’m a pisces so this is going to hit hard on my core identity, an opportunity for the deepest purging and likely a breakthrough, I’m a little scared but also very excited, this might be the time a big chunk of my ego finally let’s go and surrenders and aligns to the deeper Self.

#314

Holy cow I’m bursting open, my root and sacral really opening more, there’s this delicious energy flowing through me, it’s really happening, my life is going to flip around for good, after over 17 years of spiritual efforts looking for that self that I briefly experienced during an awakening in my late teens.

It has been a journey, and as I am now remembering once again, all the pain and confusion was worth it, to experience that state of being that I never really stopped being, but was simply hiding under layers of illusions.

I’m looking forward to the big crack and full reversal of consciousness where I live fully from my inner reality and keep expanding and growing from that fully conscious space within the heart beyond ego.

What a relief, what a journey, so many doubts along the way, I almost gave up, resigned that this will never come back this lifetime and that I might need many more lifetimes of spiritual efforts, all this bullshit written in books, at last I will be really free and finally freaking enjoy the heck out of living in this body on this earth in pure love and bliss.

#315

The love is real, soul take over, let’s gooooo

I wrote this poem:

Releasing centuries of anger
With waves of loving tender
The joyful birth and wonder
Of a world peace healer

:rainbow::tada:

#316

Sep 1 LB 5min GLM 8min

Sep 3 GLM 10min LB 10min

#317

Recent sub use recap:

2 months RoS June/July

1 month AS June and a little RoD

2 months LB July/August

1 month GLM August

1 month KB August

#318

Sep 5 KB1 5min LB 5min GLM 9min

This felt a little intense, especially on the one day I did nothing but watch series all day.

Sep 7 KB1 3min LBFH 3min GLM 6min

Reduced listening times, this feels very smooth.

#319

Sep 8: Wanted 3min

Sep 9: LB 3min Wanted 3min GLM 3min

#320

Sep 11: LB 3min GLM 3min Wanted 3min

Mild recon going on, but also lots of results, since adding Wanted I feel more energetic and get bursts of intense happiness, I’m in my own reality bubble doing what I love and that is very freeing and exhilarating.

I moved back in with a friend for a few weeks and we had some friction during deep conversations, it happened twice now, once she expressed a subtle negative belief pattern towards herself but when I pointed it out in a constructive well intentioned way she got defensive, retracted and slightly upset.

The next day she expressed another thing that I thought was slightly untrue and that takes away personal accountability in general and I simply shared my view in one simple sentence because it was again a deep conversation we were engaged in but again she instantly got defensive and just tried to shut me down, I had to deal once again with negative emotional tension that takes space in my emotional field and takes time to transmute fully back into peace.

I am a bit disappointed in her because I thought she was more open minded and could discuss more openly and handle any idea whether she agrees or not, but I am also very satisfied with myself as this made it clear to me I have grown a lot and I’m so much more aligned with my truth, my peace, my confidence and my love for myself and others in a clear, respectful and humble manner.

I still have plenty of progress to make but reaching deeper into my roots is helping me stand more and more sovereign and trust what I am and what I know.

I have to reach much deeper before I can start helping others and give advice in a way that gets received properly so work in progress.

#321

Sept 13: LB 3min Wanted 4min GLM 4min

Sept: 15: Wanted 1min GLM 1min LB 1min

#322

Sept 17: LB 3min Wanted 3min GLM 3min

This stack is everything I could have ever wished for to realign me deeply with who I truly am by addressing core aspects:

-Foundation of self love, self-trust and self acceptance with LB, deep and wide it’s the loving nurturing validating hug of the Mother.

-Another layer of that with Wanted from a slightly different angle with accent on body acceptance + extra detachment and high esteem with ‘I am the prize, the precious one, the most important thing’ mindset and ‘I am uniquely awesome’, embracing of flaws and sensuality, growing and healing and deepening in the moment presence in flow and fun.

-GLM bringing it all together through centered grounded peaceful detachment that enhances overall clarity, self-trust and sovereignty, safety in all circumstances, brings a clear harmonious direction, alignement and integration of all new growing aspects and new unfolding realities of self, the deep unshakeable certainty and guidance of the Father.