[SOLO] EmperorQ Personal Journal


#1

I started running EmperorQ on all devices today (Friday, February 28) at noon Central time (USA).

I have previously run Emperor 1 and 2 for 9 months, with approximately 2 months of that solo. Before starting this I had run Emperor V4 for a week in a stack with Primal Seduction and Spartan.

Between the various listening stations and my phone it will be pretty much standard that I get about 17 to 21 hours of listening in a day. At home I have several stations running with the masked version. In my office at work I have the ultrasonic version running. Depending on the day of the week, Masked listening time is approximately 10 to 20 hours per day and ultrasonic, zero to 8 hours per day.

Also running ultrasonic on my phone. I hadn’t been running subs off the phone at all recently but may start with EmperorQ.

I am not interested in critical commentary or unsolicited coaching re: my use of this subliminal. If that is your bag, please go away.


#2

20 hours in and one night in, I have noticed a lot of energy building up. No dreams to recollect but heightened sexual desire.


#3

Was playing some music on Spotify and then started playing EmperorX underneath it in Musicolet. When I turned it on I had the sensation of a shift of the energy in front of my face and then in my body.


#4

Started yesterday with some very spirited textual interplay with a possible romantic interest I have connected with online.

Overall, a bit of a dark day emotionally, especially after obsessively looping a few Sufjan Stevens songs over and over.

I found myself being extremely kind, in a manner that was noticeably different to the part of myself that observes, while interacting with the few people I spoke with in person. I guess an Emperor can feel empathy
for and good will toward his subjects!

So in a way I am still working out, this version of Emperor feels both heavy and light, dark yet sun-dappled, more emotionally complex than previous Emperors.

No dream content that I can recall yet and under my previous stack I was noticing crazy, sexual dreams.

I feel like I have an immense feeling of sorrow and loss breaking into consciousness and just staying.

Some breaking up of sleep patterns which is at least partly because I have only listened, thus far, on weekend nights.

I feel like there is a sort of pressure, or push, from this subliminal.


#5

Just had a really detailed dream about a woman I know well attending a lecture with me and then very quickly descending multiple sets of steps as a team, talking excitedly, and then finally she embraced a very friendly raccoon after we exited the building.

Strange, but specifically the dream. She picked up the raccon like you might a pet cat.

In real life we are not in any way romantically linked and I would not pursue it, but in the dream there was a kind of relationship tension. There was nothing sexual in the dream, but there was a kind of joy between us at being together and doing things as a team.


#6

I am feeling this incredibly deep sorrow that seems to have been building up for a while but is reaching a head. It is hard to know how much is subliminal and how much is external events, but Emperor does seem to be bringing things to the surface or just giving the cue that it is ok to feel them.

I have had a tough couple of months. Five family members or friends have died since Christmas day. Three of these were people who I had a very close relationship with and talked and met with pretty regularly. It is funny how you can go for years with seemingly little or nothing happening in this way and then all of a sudden have a flurry of people die.

I also have a strong sense of my own mortality and keep wondering what might be worthwhile to do with the rest of whatever life I still have left.

I also have been dealing with a kind of impossible relationship. Too far away, mot sure how to make that work, and really feeling that something that can happen only or mostly online can be nothing but frustrating, even if one has some great compatibility as to interests and ideas. The whole online relationship idea seems kind of ludicrous in practice. I need the physical.

I guess I have always known it, but I am realizing that I have been dealing with a kind of moderate depression for a very long time, maybe always.

I think I understand Kierkegaard’s idea of “sickness unto death” and feel a kind of spiritual emptiness, a lack and a need for more creativitiy in my life, and for it to be shown to others and appreciated, though maybe I expect too much in the way I might like it to be appreciated by others.


#7

@dorfmeister I am so sorry to hear about this tragedy that has come upon your family and friends. Not many people, including myself, would be able to handle the emotional damage this serious.

I do hope that things will get better for you eventually and that you get the spiritual and emotional healing that you deserve.


#8

Thanks King.

Are you testing Emperor Q? I noticed you have run early versions of Emperor.


#9

Yes I am testing Emperor Q.


#10

Just read your thread!


#11

Not sure what to say today. I feel like the subconscious is putting up things in front of me to notice that may be too late to do anything about or that require a response that is not, at this point, clear as to what it should be.

Feelings of loss and failure at this point.

Sleep has been relatively good if that is any consolation, which seems odd considering the misery and low level depression I have been feeling in waking moments.

I have an online relationship that is so ludicrous I feel I need to nip it in the bud, as this person is so far away, the logistics of even connecting with them in the physical world ever may not be be able to be worked out, let alone anything beyond that, which would require major uprooting on the part of myself or her. I don’t quite know how or why I let things get this far and have such an effect on my emotional state. I find love to be so fraught with difficulties and ambiguity and so prone to misery, that I wonder why I even try. It seems only to lead to unhappiness.

I am feeling very frustrated and stuck at work. Productivity is down. I am letting other parts of my life interfere.

Obviously this is not all due to EmperorQ, but I am hoping it might be able to help me clear a path through all the blocks and misery I am feeling. The main thing is that I feel like I am being broken down, with no hope yet of ever coming back together in any coherent form.


#12

I had something similar, with feelings of loss and regret. Mine came up out of nowhere. Was it the same for you?


#13

You’re going through some emotional clearing, just pull through, it’ll get better soon.


#14

Not completely from nowhere, but EmperorQ seems to have radically and quickly ramped it up.


#15

I read New Beginnings was in EmpQ. I’m not on EmpQ, but I’ve seen people very much liking the positivity on it starting up. NB might finally be kicking in.

I did Emp4 for a few weeks, and NB definitely came up quickly. I’ve wondered how different EmpQ is in the healing department.


#16

It is difficult for me to say. I did EMP4 for only a week as part of a stack before starting EmpQ. Some of these issues were surfacing before EmpQ, but it has certainly thrown me for a loop, since starting it.

I also did EMP1 and EMP2 for 9 months straight both solo and in stacks. This to me has a different feel and seems more hard hitting, but so far mostly with the result of feeling miserable. I know the positive aspects will start to reveal themselves, but other than pretty decent sleep, they have not thus far.


#17

When it came out, NB did rock some people in its part with Emp4. I felt it. Others did too.

I felt the initial shocks of revelation on some motives of mine, and I only ceased Emp4 since I was listening to way too many loops for me to handle. My anger surfaced, and I felt out of control internally. I read a number of other Emp4 users toned down their listening since its strength and density were much greater then previous versions. While on Emp3 myself, I felt none of that inner turbulence. But Emp4 was a different creature altogether.

And EmpQ is a new beast too. If I was doing it, I’d be like “let’s respect this animal”. Since Emp4 was so potent, it’s highly possible that EmpQ is too.


#18

Right now I am seeing if I can ride things out. I have this going both at home and in my office and am getting around 20 hours of exposure a day. I guess I will find out if I can stand that. I have not noticed anger being stirred up, which happened really strongly when I started running EMP1 back in August of 2018. Somehow, at least so far, that does not seem to be coming up with EMPQ. Sorrow, on the other hand, does.


#19

It sounds like you’ve made some progress using earlier versions. Sorrow is often pure, so you’re not facing anger and reconciliation. Sorry is closer to a root than anger is, and this is good.

I’ll keep my eyes open to hear your progress moving forward.


#20

Yes. Like I said I ran versions 1 and 2 for a very long time, and ran 4 for about a week before switching to Q alone. I also ran Regeneration by itself for three months, though, honestly, it felt like nothing was happening. I suppose things were shifting, but I could not figure out what consciously.