Seraphim’s 2024 journal

Journals - Major Programs
#21

Just got back from Mexico last night. Was there for 19 nights. It was still hard to leave but it’s time to get back to eating right again Vertical diet style.

Finished Khan TB and started stage 2 yesterday. Only had 1 small emotional release this time on TB when I looked at a yearly summary of photos/videos from the dog that I share with the ex, I take her for a few of my days off and she’s 16 now.

Other than that TB just makes me aware of my blockages and weaknesses. The most profound was when I seen a headline for a video of how women move on faster than men. Was upset for a moment then I said “I command Total Breakdown to destroy any attachment to previous lovers”.

Shortly after that I had healing dreams of closure between both my previous LTR’s on separate nights. Overall I let go of a lot of baggage from 1 cycle of TB but it’s time to move on with the rest of the program. If any big blockages come up that I can’t easily overcome I will consider commanding TB to destroy it followed by a 5 min loop or simply run another cycle of TB if that doesn’t work. Will also practice just letting the discomfort pass through me by opening up and relaxing my heart area.

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Main Disc. Thread -- The New KHAN: Love and War (Now Available! Free upgrade!)
#22

On vaycay I tested out different digital sex cocktail combo’s. The best results came from 7 min of KB4 and 15 min of Divine Diamond.

I read Existential Kink and thoroughly enjoyed it. A very interesting concept of dropping resistance to that which you consciously don’t like by acknowledging that some aspect of your shadow very much enjoys it.

Also read Living Untethered by Michael Singer. Enjoyed reading this one even more and will reread it right away. It explains the effect that our samskaras have on our life. We spend a great effort arranging our lives in order to not be triggered by our samskaras when we would be much happier and better off by simply releasing the energy behind our samskaras. And I knew all this on an intellectual level but reading Living Untethered really drove it home. That life itself with poke our samskaras and we simply remain conscious of it and work on releasing the energy behind them, which takes practice of course.

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#23

Yesterday I became reactive at work late afternoon. Seems the vacation glow is wearing off. When I got home I asked for Divine assistance in releasing the samskara that was being triggered.

Last night I had a healing dream of someone I’ve held a grudge against for the better part of a year. Seemed I’ve been unable to forgive this person or I suspect some part of my shadow has been unwilling to forgive them.

Today my intention is to remain in the witness position when the samskara’s come up and to allow the energy behind them to release.

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#24

New bench press PR this morning.
195x20.
LFG🤛.

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#25

March 16: listening day 10 of 12.
Khan ST2 15 min, LB 15 min, SB 7 min.

Picked up LB a few days ago, was offered a discount on Chosen at checkout and picked that up as well. Have ran a 5 min test loop of Chosen but would like to rotate it with SB at some point.

Plan on running new Khan ST4 for multiple cycles once I get to that stage. Also want to run Chosen along with it. May cycle back and forth with SB.

As for new LB not sure if it will be a long term sub just yet. Primal was a fun one to run but not necessary for long term use for me. Working nights this set and surprisingly more at peace with it this time around. Got a lot of podcasts to catch up on.

Overall feeling pretty good with an optimistic outlook on life and the future.

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#26

Re reading the book Living Untethered by Michael Singer. I think it’s a great compliment to new Love Bomb, specifically the section on the heart.

Does a good job of explaining how love comes from within and that the feeling of love is actually your heart opening and emanating a beautiful flow of energy.

Another good line is “The heart is a very sophisticated instrument that few people know how to play. If the Heart opens, they try to possess the things that helped it open. If the heart closes, they try to protect themselves from the things that caused it to close.”

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#27

Day 11 of 12 listening days.
Khan ST2 15 min, ASBR 15 min, LB 7 min.
Workout before N/S: Standing shoulder press 155x6
L-sit pull-ups hammer grip x6.

Considering starting an Instagram. It used to be I was afraid to put myself out there. Now my main concern is that it will consume too much of my time. Perhaps I can mitigate that by only installing it on my iPad and leave it off the phone.

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#28

Day 12 of 12 listening day. Khan ST2 15 min, ASBR and LoveBomb 7 min each. Time for washout.
Quick but intense arm workout before work.

There is a great synergy now between these 3 titles. I’m just dialed in mentally physically and spiritually, firing on all cylinders.

I like Khan for the Alpha base, sexual prowess, and strategic planning.
ASBR for the brain power, swagger, resilience, and sharp wit.
LB for the healing power of loving yourself and to truly know what it means to have love coming from within not just intellectually but experientially.

Next cycle starting Tuesday March 26
Khan ST3, ASBR, and LB.

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#29
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#30

During the washout I vented a fair bit of grief. The dog that I share with my ex is coming to the end of her life. Had my heart set on taking her on one more summer vacation, not looking like she’s going to make it that long.

I wouldn’t say it was recon. What I think happened is I projected excess love outside of myself in the form of a pet. It was LoveBomb that helped me realize that.

Either way there is a heart wound that life has brought to the surface in order to be released.

One thing I’ve noticed is my resting heart rate is a few bpm lower the past week or so. Made a couple of minor changes to my diet but nothing crazy. Also been using a 10,000 lux light for 20 min most mornings. I’d say it’s a combination of those 2 things plus having partially released some samskara’s the past 10 days.

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#31

April 13 day 10 of 12 listening days.
Khan ST3 15 min,
LB 10 min
ASBR 5 min and….

Tonight new Daredevil 3 min test loop.

Yes I know it’s overexposure but I have a washout coming right up.

Seemed to be getting slight presults regarding my voice. I like to sing in the truck and always had trouble hitting the low note on Down to the Honkeytonk by Jake Owen. Could hit the low note but it was at the end of my low range and just had no volume with it but tonight was the first time I had considerably better volume at the low note.

I’ve been wanting to become a better story teller too so why not give it a try. Will have to get out to Karaoke one of these weekends as well. Did a couple of tunes in Mexico a couple months back and rocked it then too.

Might swap out LB for this next cycle which will be Khan ST4 and ASBR.

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#32
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#33

Copied from the Primal Nights thread

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#34

So sad to hear this, brother. I had a dog who used to live with my grandmother when I was a kid and cried when she passed away. It was a long time ago but pups are simply God given bundles of love.

Your realizations from this experience are profound. It pushes you in the right direction :pray:.

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#35

Thanks Lion, hope your doing well Brother.

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#36

Am doing excellent!

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#37

That 3 min test loop of DD the other night backfired as I didn’t get much sleep that night. That why I do my subs first thing in the morning.

Today is day 12 of 12 before washout.
Khan ST3 15 min, DD 15 min. Next cycle Khan ST4/ DD and ASBR with fame in the mix as well.

This morning workout: Flat bench 200 X 19
Pronation curls 2 x 35 x 15. Just started doing those Devon Larrat style. Started with 25.

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#38
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#39

As a Dallas Cowboys fan I’ve been thinking about their QB situation lately.

Dak Prescott is a top 15 player for sure. He will get you to the playoffs but currently doesn’t have what it takes to make a deep playoff run. His biggest issue is he chokes under pressure. If he could get that same clutch performance ability as Patrick Mahomes he would be top 5. Brock Purdy from 49ers is top 15 also and has good clutch performance in the sense that he doesn’t turn the ball over in pressure situations.

If I were to prescribe a sub stack for Dak my first thought would be Hero Origins and ASBR w/ Fame. He already has the fame, perhaps some more resilience to handle the fame would help. Or maybe a starter stack of LB and Sanguine.

On the other hand they have beefed up their offensive line in the draft and perhaps better protection will help out. Still think he lacks the clutch mentality of a Brady/Mahomes.

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#40

Been enjoying new Khan ST4. It might just be my favorite title in all of subclub just by the way it makes me feel.

I feel unstoppable and have my best workouts right after running a shorter loop of it. Thats where the invincibility scripting comes in for me. DD and ASBR also compliment it very well.

One thing I’ve noticed is I tend to get prideful on it bordering on arrogance. Pride is what I call the silent killer, it feels good but can subtly undermine the best of intentions. I’m taking about pride in the form of arrogance, being proud of your kids or other friends and family members is different and I healthy form of pride.

I do feel fearless on it which is exactly what I wanted from Khan from about a year ago well before I ever ran it.

Can see myself sticking with Khan ST4 for multiple cycles, perhaps till the end of the year.

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