Started my new cycle today. I chose Stark + Index Gate custom and Phoenix: A Dragon Reborn as my first title tiles out of three, now I got to choose another title. I’m debating between LOTS, Khan Stage 1 and EOG Stage 1.
That choice will define my stack for whole 2024.
After listening the custom (3min) and Phoenix (1:30min), I got a short-lasting recon: angriness, just like in the times when I did Wanted. Now I am okay. I feel nice.
I’m watching Lord Of The Rings now. I found Sam’s character development to be traditional and inspiring. The story of the hobbit who went into the quest of the fellowship of the ring being a boy and returned the Shire being a man, being gone through a plenty of dangers and challenges, reminds me boy’s initiation into a men, common for almost every human culture. As our age doesn’t suggest such kinds of initiations for boys, for them it’s pretty hard to become a men in a proper time, hence we have a generation of young adults who are still immature in their minds.
That being said, my third title is Godlike Masculinity.
So, today I started GLM. Started with 3 minutes and then listened to Ascension Chamber for 2 minutes. As for AC, I used to listen to it for 7 minutes and didn’t realize what its effect was until I cut the length of the loop down to a minute and a half. Now, after almost every listen to AC, I go straight to a recon.
So now I’m experiencing a brain fog, but I don’t know if it’s caused by the reconciliation or the brownies I ate. However, it wasn’t so much the sweets I ate that my glucose levels spiked up a lot and then dropped. Either way, I’m in the brain fog.
If to exclude the fog, I feel more liberated and relaxed (?) overall. Like if there aren’t any blocks or clamps, and most importantly, I feel self-sufficient. I have no doubt that GLM has helped with that. I can assume that Phoenix and/or Stark create a synergy with GLM.
Again, I will be running the current custom for the whole year.
What is it? a pure luck, or Fortune’s Favorite.
In the yesterday evening, after work, I was watching Instagram reels a little bit. I met two reels: both of them were emotional to me.
The first reel made me to express deep empathic feelings to a lonely guy, shown in the video, whose eyes were full of pain, and yet he was trying to have a fun in a party full of people divided by groups, and then he got laughed by some girls behind him for him making a selfie with a can of coke. I was two steps away from crying. People must realize you must be nice to strangers. You never know what kind of battle is happening inside one’s soul.
The second reel’s idea was “your father is the only man in your life who wants you to be better than him”. After this reel something happen in my mind, and I without any thinking have decided to have some time with my father, because I really distanced from him for the last two years. I suggested him to do armwrestling, though he rejected my offer referring he has shoulder pains, so I offered him to play chess. Yes, we played two rounds one by one. Today I am going to repeat it again.
Haven’t been posting here for 13 days. Firstly, I didn’t feel to post anything here. Secondly, I have a cold lasting for 8 days yet.
Now I have something to share. As I said above, I started GLM being inspired by LOTR’s Samwise Gamgee. Now I’d add Phoenix into the same line as GLM, for the synergy of GLM and Phoenix. And yes, I’m listening GLM and Phoenix the same day and the custom - on the other day.
As for GLM and Phoenix, I finished watching LOTR trilogy by Peter Jackson today, and I was particularly affected by scenes in which characters did actions that required masculinity (valor, discipline, strong character and will, bravery, kindness and mercifulness, selflessness, and honor) . When watching these scenes, I felt a strange feeling as if these scenes were pointing to these mentioned qualities in me, not necessarily in the sense that I have them, but in the sense that I must necessarily possess them, and therefore these scenes were both frightening to me - because they opened the curtain of my character and soul (I lack these qualities and thus I envied the characters) - and inspiring. I really love Sam’s words in Osgiliath: “Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn’t. Because they were holding on to something.”. I’ve loved Lord of the Rings before, but this time I loved it anew, for I saw it from a whole new angle, and I guess I found the essence that Tolkien put into the story - the story of people leaving their ordinary lives, finding and developing their best traits and qualities within, going through hardships, doing things they’ve never done before or even imagined of, and making sacrifices without fear of pain or death, all for the sake of their loved ones, homes and world at large. If I ever was asked to describe LOTR by one SubClub product, I would spell three letters: G, L and M.
I really hope that someday I, too, will embody all the good that the characters in Lord of the Rings embodied - masculinity.
I dedicate those endemic feelings to Phoenix and GLM, especially to New Subliminal Experience of Phoenix.
For a long time I had been feeling like I was burned out. I had a low motivation and general life enthusiasm. I missed days back then 8 years ago, when I was super motivated for life. I remembered I meditated minimum once a day those times. I also remembered meditations help us to maintain a mental and psychic health. I found some esoterica related meditation videos on YT I’ve been doing meditation with, at least twice a day - morning and evening, - and now I feel better:
Even though I do not believe in esoteric and similar topics at all. But I like the music in those videos.
I’ve just read some posts on Phoenix’s main thread. Now I’m 100% sure it’s a recon that I question my life.
Do you think questioning your life is a good result too?
to be honest, I have a few different point of views on that: sometimes it seems like it’s better to leave thing as they are, as long as you are happy, but on the other hand I recall wise words from Avesta: it’s better die than live in fear and falsehood.
Currently, I am practically leaning to the first POV, since questioning my life is negatively affecting on my productivity levels. I left Phoenix for some time, until I can stand on my legs confidently and don’t worry about money.
more I take actions, less I journal.
finally I purchased Quantum Limitless. I have EOG and QL now. all that’s left is Khan. Soon, I hope.
