Saint Sovereign's Journal (HERO Origins + Khan Black ST 4)

[James]

@Sage_Ninjistic

How long did you run DR for in total?

Honestly I have only run Dragon Reborn Stage one and that was by itself for probably three or four months straight after it came out. That one stage alone is the reason for the massive shift you described. Before it was upgraded to QV2 I remember @Sub.Zero and myself having a friendly competition to see who could run the most loops in one day.
I cheated a bit in that I would play the masked and ultrasonic version at the same time in two different mp3 apps on my phone.

@Sage_Ninjistic

Have people in your life commented on this, noticing signs of your emotional and mental development into the maturity and sense of self-goodness that the majority of us have witnessed?

My Wife has told me I’m more mature emotionally than I have ever been. I have read some of my very early posts on the forum and other places prior to Dragon Reborn and I either don’t remember writing whatever it was and I don’t know who that person was.

It’s weird because as much as I would talk about personal responsibility I was so lazy and immature. I would do everything I could to get out of doing something I didn’t want to do.
Now I feel a weird responsibility to be a better person so I can be the person I wish I had to reach out to when I was dealing with adversity or whatever.
I feel like a lot of times people want to dismiss someone who is struggling or if they do offer any help it’s for status reasons or because they will get something out of it rather than just doing the right thing because

@Sage_Ninjistic

I used to be all three. Defense mechanism, emotional walls, rough childhood, global warming, inflation, being too cool for school…ya know.

Actually, that’s part of the reason that my posts vary in flavor from introspective, musing, and deep with random, sudden bursts of scintillating personality.

Not long ago I actually embraced being pessimistic. Why ?? I have no idea. It’s so draining. Not just for yourself but for anyone who has to interact with you.
I will literally go out of my way to show appreciation. It’s like having money burning a hole in my pocket but instead it’s pure gratitude.

[James]

@Sage_Ninjistic

Cause that’s how I am in real life. I chose a long time ago to present myself online in any forum or media exactly as I am face-to-face like the friggin’ blessing I am.

I didn’t realize that I was being different online and in person until my Wife mentioned something back in 2014 I think. It really made me think of how I was interacting with people and to if nothing else think about what I say and post.

[Sage_Ninjistic]

@James

I’m curious if Sage Immortal ZP would help with that?
In a stack with CFW.

It did/does for me. Well, not in a stack with CFW. I haven’t run Sage in a bit and I’ve only run CFW once. SG QV2 worked better for me specifically for clarity and inner calm, than SG ZP did, ironically. I’m really looking forward to when my plans allow me to give SG ZP another go. I’m not sure why I didn’t connect CFW and Sage Immortal in a stack before this. Dude, you might have just did a thing.

@James

Isn’t that what Sage Immortal is for or am I misunderstanding the objectives? Clarity and wisdom?

It has I think three major objectives, namely secret knowledge, self-betterment (my words), and finding a true teacher. Now that I’ve typed it out, I actually have gotten all three damn. Cool. (Edit: I meant I REALIZED that I’ve received manifestations of each of these).

Clarity is a natural by-product of those three objectives, in my ‘Sage’ experience.

[James]

@Sage_Ninjistic

Dude, you might have just did a thing.

It wasn’t intentional but when you mentioned clarity it made me think of one of my favorite songs which mentions spirituality and that made me think of Sage

[James]

@Sage_Ninjistic

It has I think three major objectives, namely secret knowledge, self-betterment (my words), and finding a true teacher. Now that I’ve typed it out, I actually have gotten all three damn. Cool.

I just read the sales page again and I feel it would mesh well with CFW

[bombayduck]

@James

Not long ago I actually embraced being pessimistic. Why ?? I have no idea. It’s so draining. Not just for yourself but for anyone who has to interact with you.

Hmm, I’m a self-proclaimed pessimist and I feel like you are definitely onto something here. But to be honest, how does one not be pessimistic when observing the state of the world and the trajectory its been on, and continues to be on? How do you overcome that, do you ignore it and look for the positive or what?

[James]

@bombayduck

But to be honest, how does one not be pessimistic when observing the state of the world and the trajectory its been on, and continues to be on? How do you overcome that, do you ignore it and look for the positive or what?

I think that’s the rub to a point. To transcend that as cheesy as it sounds. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of being negative and a shitty person. Everyone else is obviously losing their minds so why can’t I?
It’s an excuse and an easy way out

[James]

@bombayduck

How do you overcome that, do you ignore it and look for the positive or what?

Most importantly don’t get caught up with what everyone else is doing or paying attention to. Not on here but social media and similar places. Shut off your phone and go outside or read a book. Learn something new.
Stay off places like Reddit

[gdbdboy]

@SaintSovereign

My emotional expression is a bit more apparent and I am actually engaging with those emotions in a healthy, masculine manner

Any tips how you do it ? It can be helpful to us in the height of Recon.

I know Journaling / Stream of consciousness is one way that you have mentioned previously.

[Malkuth]

@bombayduck

how does one not be pessimistic when observing the state of the world and the trajectory its been on, and continues to be on?

widen the scope.

that’s one way.

in a bigger picture, all of this human stuff is barely a drop in the bucket. It’s neither optimistic nor pessimistic. Maybe just ‘mystic’.

[Palpatine]

@Malkuth

barely a drop in the bucket

Dust, perhaps? in the wind?

[Lion]

To add to this discussion, I meet strangers on a day to day basis who are kind and who are ready to help me. Sure there are people who are the opposite but it isn’t as common. It’s just that we fixate too much on those who wronged us than those who did the right thing for us.

It is a survival mechanism surely to help us steer clear of danger. But these days it is on overdrive due to the large number of people we meet and also because of negative media news.

[Malkuth]

@Malkuth

widen the scope.

that’s one way.

in a bigger picture, all of this human stuff is barely a drop in the bucket. It’s neither optimistic nor pessimistic. Maybe just ‘mystic’.

Just to briefly clarify (am feeling aware that this is still Saint’s journal):

I’m not saying to hang out in Big Picture land all of the time. That’s not recommended. It’s just a perspective to visit sometimes when needed.

The ‘engagement with pain, suffering, and discouragement’ part of things is important too. But developing the ability to gracefully handle that kind of awareness is an ongoing process. So we also better have some coping resources ready.

[Luther24]

@James

It’s been a weird feeling almost daily especially after having run Dragon Reborn. I will think back to something I did , said , or how I behaved and question myself as to how I thought any of it was ok. It hurts but it also makes me curious about how the other person felt or even feel now if they ever think about it.
I was a horrible person and I used a lot of people and fucked over a few and I am not proud of it . I am trying not to cry while I type this out but it’s difficult.

I can relate, especially when I was younger I’ve done some things that were pretty messed up.
You weren’t a horrible person, you were emotionally unwell and carrying your own demons. ​

It’s easy to judge the doers of “evil” and horrible acts, and say “f*** you” you are horrible.

When you put aside the ego and see the truth for what it is:
Putting on the empathic x-ray goggles…

You can see it’s just fear and negativity, the expression of a falsely negative intrepretation of themselves, others and reality. Repression of emotions, fear, hurt, and coping, manifesting itself through action and behavior. Now you’re able to see the true expression of a human beyond the false narrative of “evil” and that is what allows us to forgive rather than take the naively easy route of judgement. This is also what allows us to not get triggered by people. There is power in empathy and understanding.

You’re going to have to stop judging your past self and actions.
When you’re able to look at your past self and forgive,

not justifying the actions but FORGIVE him for being emotionally damaged, forgive him for perhaps not knowing any better given where he was at in consciousness, forgive him for being traumatized, and most of all thank him for helping you grow. There are lessons in everything. You can also thank and forgive the other people involved as they played their parts as well. There is no such thing as a victim or perpetrator, we create everything ourselves and that is the true power of our infiniteness.

The more tapped in you are to that concept, the more powerful your manifestations will be.

Learning is cyclic and never ending, we have countless versions of our past selves that even extend to previous lifetimes. It makes no sense to stick to one of them, judge them and hold on to them. Forgive, let go, move on and continue.

oh and stop trying not to cry lol. You should want to cry because it’s indicative of a purge or emotional shift. It’s growth and I’d assume that’s what we’re all here for

You’re doing well, it was a pleasure to read your posts lol

[Azriel]

@SaintSovereign

Also seeing evidence that five to seven minutes of ZP is more effective than 15. Seriously.

I played 1 minute of Emperor ZP and experienced a tremendous boost in confidence, productivity, and focus for the next 6 hours.

[Sub.Zero]

@James

I have read some of my very early posts on the forum and other places prior to Dragon Reborn and I either don’t remember writing whatever it was and I don’t know who that person was.

Same here. I was like who wrote that? Was it really me? I just cannot believe that.

[AlexanderGraves]

@SaintSovereign

As I detach more and more from these negative past issues, I’m finding myself becoming much more confidence and much less fearful about the future.

I am big in detachment, but CFW DEFINITELY helped a lot with that. So far it feels like OG Chosen and CFW made me the most confident so far. Simply because I see things in a positive light and look for the good side, and don’t be controlled by past failures, issues.

SUPERPOWERFUL. Glad you have the same experience!

@SaintSovereign

And your ability to take on and manage risk in a healthy way is what I’ve always defined as being an alpha. To extend a hand in trust, knowing that you could be betrayed, but having trust in yourself to overcome that adversity, seems more “alpha” than hiding away and never connecting with anyone because you fear betrayal.

This is exactly the masculinity I am pushing everywhere. People call it “stoic” when they are emotionally dead logs and wonder why their girls have emotional affairs with other men.
I am by no means the absolute source because I still have issues with my wife, but from the guys I worked with, the “rock-stoic-guy” only works when you are spinning plates, not for long-term relationships.

@SaintSovereign

Yes, that’s part of it. I was not a good person when I was younger. I lied to myself and claimed that I was, but you can’t lie to Zero Point. I’ve been reminded of a lot of things that I did (and I’m talking about 10 years ago or more) and how I handwaved away my involvement. On CFW, my mind is convicting me on that.

It seems to me that CFW is the SHADOW-WORK-SUB after all.
Integrating the dark parts of your psyche. For me it also helped me to FINALLY accept my powerful sexual side, regardless of spirituality and all of it.
That is my shadow.
But never adhering to it just makes it worse. The beast gets mad and lashes out.
Feeding it every now and then, controlling it is the key. Chosen helped a lot with that! Truly a magnificent sub!

@Billions

So does that mean 1 loop is definitely more effective than 2?

Absolutely the case for me. I’ve been running less exposure than recommended for weeks now. Less recon.

[Fractal_Explorer]

RIP Saint’s journal

[Simon]

@SaintSovereign

As I detach more and more from these negative past issues, I’m finding myself becoming much more confidence and much less fearful about the future.

@SaintSovereign

My current stack is Chosen From Within, Mind’s Eye, Paragon. But, as CFW removes a lot of emotional baggage holding me back, I’m sensing a bunch of ideas lingering on the edge of my consciousness.

And that is how …

You moved into a reality where the pandemic is over.

#ZeroPointPower

[Melior]

Oh bruh please let the wave of freedom get to the rest of Europe